Thursday, August 09, 2007

Italians and Aligators

Ok... just remembered some dreams and wanted to jot them down.

Had a dream I was going to this apartment. It was a new place for me to live temporarily or something. Not my kind of place. One of those huge apartment complexes in the burbs w/ lots of parking lots. Not horrible, just not my thing.

So on the way there... I run into this spot where the water is deep (dip in the road and water leak). And there just happens to be aligators there. I ride my bicycle through it and go to call the police for the water leak, the aligators (2 of them) and I think someone was hurt as well... Then I go riding back to town?? to a community house/coffee shop/gym type place. I see two guy friends there Ciro (friend of mine's husband/Italian) and Andrea (my exbf/Italian). They both give me a kiss hello, there are children around, it feels cozy yet chaotic, but nice, but not, but nice.... I had to get on to someplace else and I know I was all wet from riding in the rain. I left them and jogged in the rain.

Then some other dreams where?? I was on a construction site? or hmmm there was a feeling of getting prepared ... getting things set, etc...

And another where someone told me, if you say it outloud or to another person it will be stronger/have more of an affect. Also someone saying something like... take the image and make it smaller and you will be able to handle it better.

hmmm

Monday, August 06, 2007

Life Plan Update... well.. not so much a "plan"..

Ok...

Feeling a little bit empty and in need of a change.
Part of it might be that my friends are either getting married off, moving, etc.. so I don't get to see them so often. My brother might move away for 6 months at a time. My job isn't fulfilling. I live in an amazing beautiful state, but with a lot of people I don't totally connect with (Portland is clique city, lots of herbavores, blue collar hipsters, "artists," super green people etc.). I'm more of an open minded generalist... not too much in any direction, can appreciate other people, but don't force your ideas on me. And I'm single and I don't want to date a 40 year old that skateboards, a vegetarian that wants to live in a home with others to make his environmental footprint smaller, the blue collar hipsters that has his hair in a pompador, a dreadlocked patchouli smelling- tie-dye wearing guy, or the band member wannabe that works in a pizza parlor. Then there is the conservative extreme we have here too and I'm not that either.

Soooo I think what I'm missing is some close friend, family feel and maybe even some friends that have become grown ups. I appreciate an open mind-set, but none of my friends want to grow up. My brother has 3 x-boxes, my girlfriends do not want kids (not sure if it is to keep their physique or what), my guy friends are able to stick to the peter pan lifestyle and.. I guess I'm bored of this stage of life. Want something more.

Soooo (again)... thinking of moving to the east coast. I have some close friends there that are married, have a baby (my god son - super cutie), setting up their life. Would get to learn about a new area, meet new people (keep in touch with old), 8 hours closer to Europe, ... it just might be the ticket.

I'm applying for two jobs today.

I really should just do it. I could temp there in the mean time. ... Jump

Aliens, illegal aliens and the Beatles

Ok... couple crazy dreams..

***
Had a dream I was at Longbeach (but it was more of a cove with mountains on one side). I was sitting on the beach enjoying it with my brother and some friends and it was starting to get dusk. Then we saw one bolt of lightening that hit behind the mountains. We all thought it was cool and were looking for more, when we saw 3 lights from that same area shoot off in different directions. My brother thought it was space ships. Then we looked again and actually saw a craft of some sort. We started walking quickly towards town to get to our car or something to get a better look, and we ran into an old man that told us that the reason the government wasn't so strict with us about recycling, was because they were selling our garbage to the aliens. The aliens lived on a planet that didn't have natural resources (metals, minerals, etc.), so they would take ours. Which would be all fine and dandy, but for the fact we would at one point use up all of our natural resources and need to use these dump sites as places to mine for resources in the future. They took the old man away (they new what he was telling us). and then they took me on a hover craft mainly to scare me into being quiet. These were humans working for the aliens. They were dressed in suits with helmets. The one behind me took her helmet off and it was Madonna. ;) She was making wise-cracks etc. They took me up behind the mountain and there was a facility and workers etc. One woman was talking to herself and said.. I have Fish ***?? something.. like disorder or whatever. And what would happen is after you worked with their equipement/ the garbage/etc. a condition would happen where from about mid-thigh down the legs would get thinner and kind of bind together and then from mid-thigh up the body would retain lots of water and not old its shape, so it would be large and fatty. She was happy about this though, because it meant she could quit working..

weird
***
Next dream...
I was driving with my brother's roommate and we saw some cops taking people and hitting them etc. But they were not "good" cops (duh). They were a Mexican mafia of sorts and their enemies were black people and white people. They took me hostage with some black and white guys and they were possibly going to kill us a the end. We were in someone's house and they had little kids around etc. I was the only girl so they had me helping with their children. I woke up before everyone one morning and went outside. I could have made a run for it, but I was more likely going to get caught... felt that way. A neighbor saw me, a black man and I wanted to yell for help, but I could tell by his face he knew what was going on, and he knew it was best to be quiet. So I went back in the house. Later they let me go to a university (I think I was a professor there and I needed to be seen so they didn't suspect anything). But they were watching me. I saw the neighbor guy and nodded to him. I needed to know where it is that the house was and so I knew better how to get away next time, or to alert the police. We met in a classroom but had to separate quickly. Some woman posing as a student was following me. Anyhoo.. was interesting having the whites and black be minorities together.

***
Then I had a mini dream after where I was at a bbq, having some beers, I had bf of sorts and he kissed me on the shoulder and it was really nice.

***

Then I woke up to the Beatles song "Carry That Weight." I looked up the lyrics this morning (a lot of times lyrics have some connection on what is going on in my life at that moment). They lyrics didn't mean much, so I looked up the "meaning" of the lyrics. And found this:


"(this is part of a medley on Abbey Road) the I never give you..... couplets are about getting very close to a relationship with someone where there is a mutual feeling, but never managing to actually take the last step. the carry that weight bit is about having to deal with difficult things that dont go away quickly, but the idea of carrying them..."

"This is about how one feels toward having a second lover in their life when they already love someone. Having a second lover is a lot of weight and all the lyics follow how someone may feel about a that "side" woman... "

And now for the background... I have been showing my brother's roomie around and hanging out with h im for about 5 months. We hit it off immediatly as friends. It was kind of strange. Nothing romantic, but sometimes here and there.. maybe standing closer than normal for a lingering moment and so on... Key issue. He has a girlfriend. I have met her. My brother thinks they seem like an unhappy old couple. No arguing, but no talking either. But that isn't for me to think about, and either is he really. He leaves in a week... so.. anyhoo.. appropriate song.