winds are changing

Ok.. if anyone has seen Mary Poppins you will get the reference. But it seems like everything is changing and not just for me. Out of my group of friends, one gal is moving to the east coast, anther is pregnant with twins, another is just starting a biz that I think will take her life in a new direction, two more had babies, and I'm ?? changing jobs again.

Before going to bed the other night I decided I might ask to dream something beneficial for me... like what should I be doing with my life next ... and not in symbols, or hints, or vague blurryness.. but I wanted a clear picture/scenario of what I should do...

So... I dreamt about baking cookies. huh... I was having a blast, was my own company, was making a batch for ? not sure an order or something, had some fun people in there with me and it was just really great. but..... I guess not what I expected. ;)

So if I truly took that at face value.. I guess I'd start a cookie biz.

If I took it at symbolic value... I would be producing something.. something tangible

If I took it as what I should be doing in my life.. start doing things that I enjoy for fun (which I really do enjoy baking.. like every part of it, even washing the pans in warm sudsy water at the end.

Maybe I'll start with that last idea.

Boats, picnics..?

Ok.. mid sun-salutations I remembered parts of my dream

it may be a bit mixed

but was at a function with lots of people my age (which in the dream was mid 20s). We were having a celebration of sorts... ? birthday, sprin time? something. Everyone was polite and nice... felt like I was more back in time a bit with men being dressed nice and so on. The group was touring this old building... well.. at first it was us all in row boats in this swampy area behind the home. It was pretty, weeping trees etc. but it was evening time. We were headed in a direction but then decided to stop at this house... we went up and it was very old, lots of old beautiful things... empty.. then it became a tour and it was some grand palace but more religious tones. We walked around and the guy I was with saw something.. an old wooden sculpture.. almost looked like sheild. It had a religious figure on the front and symbols. He put it under his coat to take. It had been in some place that we assumed no one knew it existed. I could feel some old man with a long white beard and cloak looking after us like he knew. So we went through the rest of the rooms with the othr folks and then went back to the boat and put the sculputer there mid tour. I said "don't you think someone will find it?" and he felt confident. I just didnt' want him to get into trouble. All the men were in light colored spring suits (like pale yellows, whites etc... it felt like the 20's I think). We went from there to?? i think a picnic on the hill. The hill was in the middle of a lake with nice trees and maybe a house. It was written that you could rent the place for a day (overnight) for $75. The whole island. We were going to do it but then didn't. I remember walking through a grass field to come back kind of behind the others. The feeling was a bit of...?? being away from everyone intentionally. Like ignored, but I made it that way. Getting back to the house I remember something about worrying about bringing mud into the house?

Then there was a skip and I went to a place where my dad was going to play. They had him set up in a separate room from where the dance floor was with only a doorway inbetween. He was upset because he knew the people wouldnt' get into dancing as much if he wasn't in the same room to kid with him. We (myself and my step mom) went to find seats at a table but some guy took most of the chairs.. we knew we wanted to face my dad (but at the moment we were facing the tv and watching some game). We got drinks etc... I had something in my hands? something to keep occupied with..

there is more but can't remember the rest.

Dolphins..

dream this morning... chair?? ugh.. just jumped out of my head.

Ok.. but woke up to an Olivia Newton John song.. "the promise" pretty song really and here are they lyrics:


The Promise (The Dolphin Song)
See them play in the moonlight
Watch them dance in the sun
They're the children of freedom - everyone

As they care for each other
With no question or cause
They deserve to be treasured as a source of love

In their minds there are answers
And in time we will know
What the truth is about all we don't know

They have no room for hatred
Though they've suffered much pain
From the race we call human - who are afraid of love

If I can only help to right a wrong
With my dolphin song
Then I'll have done what I set out to do
If I can only make one man aware
One person care
Then I'll have done what I promised you

Let us hope it's not too late
And that we can amend
All the pain we have suffered on a friend

We were born with our freedom
Oh we were born with the truth
Then why do we abuse it
We could choose - to love, to love

jog/sprint/job/travel/etc.

Ok.. so .. was up on the jog/sprinting and then have been flaking out.. :0s...

Realized it helps a TON if I wake up earlier than when I need to book out the door to sprint to be on time for work. So now.... just need to get my gluts out of bed. Now doing 3 sets of 13 flights of stairs a day, so that is good. Totally have dropped the ball on memorizing the pilates moves, not good. I need to get on it

Jobs.. let's see.. had two jobs that I was working on. A project job where I currently work.... or an analyst job somewhere else. The project job I found had already been offered to someone else, analyst job still up for grabs as far as I know and got a call from current company on another project job.

Project job - pros: $$, room to grow, high profile, busy, good team, can walk to work...
cons: high stress, don't want to be a PM now so why continue on this path, huge monster company with huge monster problems that includes a huge hairy red tape monster.

Analyst job - pros: small office (6 folks), cozy, black and white job so I can go home and still have a brain left, clear expectations, autonomy, no red tape, ..
cons: not as much $$, not sure about upwards mobility in a 6 person office ;)...

I think I have warm fuzzies for the analyst job.. I just need a break and also to feel like I accomplish something.. huge projects can be so messy and vague... crossing my fingers

Travel... will be going to isle of man in oct. :) very excited. Also might be going on an overnight sailing trip on the Pacific somewhere :D. Fun fun!!

Etc. ... need to start doing some hobby stuff.., painting, sculpting, sketching, draping.... might check in with my friend roberto.. artist fella.. and see if we can have some art dates.. where we both just sit and do stuff. Might be fun.

Also working on finances. I actually have a financial advisor now (woo wee... ).

Ummm guess that is it.

Next time I type, unless I have some great dreams, it will be updating on my new job and start date. ;)

Cruise ships, photoshop and pooches...

Ok.. vaguely remember my dreams from last night, but one of them was a good one.

One I was on some sort of cruise ship, but people lived on it?? felt more like a community than a vacation... My dad was there.. played more of a father figure type than he really is. I was introverted (go figure) and kind of avoided social gatherings.. At one point I was in a bathroom stall just to be alone. I sat there and thought if anyone asked me what I was doing, I'd say I was writing. :-s.. Anyhoo.. not sure exactly what was said, but something along the lines that my dad thought I should get out more, "be" with people and so on.

Hmmm remembering some rocky beachy part of a dream.. dark night, rocky coast... very pretty.. hmmm my friend the Tree guy was in it (but just had dinner with him last night .. so that makes sense).

Had a dream about my dog (which I don't have anymore). I saw her and my stomach instantly got tight.. like happens when you are stressed, avoiding something.. etc. With her it was. oh yeah, she is matted, dirty, I need to take care of her.. I can't do what I want because I have to take care of her. etc.etc.etc... then I sat down and played with her for a bit, rubbed her tummy and so on.. and I forgot how much I really enjoyed her. Then I thought.. if I just put more time and effort into her, I would enjoy her so much more.. instead of avoiding mainting her and spending time with her so that she becomes this dark cloud to me. (this was the good dream.. kind of an ah ha.. of how to treat everything in my life)

Then had another dream about photoshop. Took a pic of a business group. I needed to put them in front of their building so did it with photoshop. I was making adjustments and the people were b/w and the background was in color which didnt' look right. Then I put the background in color.. which didn't look right either... but then I thought. I'll punch up the people's color a wee bit, have the background be a wee bit dull.... and it worked and looked pretty great. Not enough for someone to notice.. just made you focus on the people more.

And that is about it.

Hmm...

Had another dream... was with my friend's husband (french guy/actor) and we were just going along with this other guy to run some errands. One was in an art gallery and I thought we were going to see some great art by some guy that starts with an A... we get to teh floor, an amazing space, all white and all of the art is stark and white-ish too. But these pieces were his architectural renderings... unique angles....

Then we left there to drive home and this car was kind of a mess.. it was an old beater.... He could hear his phone ringing but it was in the back seat somewhere... at one point this guy, surfer looking guy, totally cut us off... I saw the guy and once he noticed us he was totally sorry and didn't see us and tried to wave at us to say sorry.... I told french guy about his face and he made a guester back... like a..?? what one does when they taste good food and think it is perfect.

So I start going through stuff in the back seat to find the phone and it has my grandpa's jeans back there.. with all sorts of pockets and wallets, a light sensative remote??, keys... etc.etc.. then finally french guy's phone. Mind you my grandpa died a few years ago, but my grandpa's voice was "on" when I was going through his things and he was swearing a lot (which he didn't do)... Like that is that "f'n" remote I got, doesn't work worth damn .... and so on

Then we get "home" and french guy is cleaning the kitchen... and I can see things that he is doing although I'm in the living room.... is strange.. he puts something in the recycling bin.. and it is like I am seeing it from the bottom of the bin... Then there is this mirror (hmm again a mirror) and somethign kept going on in my mind that I was powerful... and that I knew I could do things once people were in the mirror. So I asked him jsut to put his hand on his chest... but ... he kept fidgeting .... so he then was showing me this tatoo he got .. or was in the midst of getting and it was his skeleton.. all over his body etc.. (just showed me the back)... then he went back to the kitchen to clean. I then tried to do things in the mirror and the worked.... like.. could see my own hand in the mirror.... but scratched it with "mind"... and it scratched my hand.

Had a dream before this was with a friend from work... she was working at a sandwich biz. I took a break from my job and went down to her biz chit chatting and stuff.... Someone from my work had been calling for a while I guess.. I needed to get back (had been gone 4 hours)... then she drove me back on a moped.... ?? something with my dad and stepmom being there...and packing ....hmmm

laundry shed and cowboys

Dream

I was doing laundry…
Forgot.. got up next morning to go check it. Was doing it in a little white shed outside my place..cute yet spooky….
I still needed to get my whites. I went inside to collect them and it felt like the shed moved.. but I thought I was imagining things.. then it was sliding down a slope.. I used my mind to move it back a bit… but then it slid again and fell over.. slid into the road and was upsidedown… neighbor kids were out.. and I was?? Not sure if embarrassed, but just got out and was going to “put things back”

Some feeling of my dad in the dream.. I think he was before all this. Oh.. was in a livingroom when he was leaving for a show or something…. There was a mirror/picture that was scary… when you looked in it you could see at certain angles a cowboy in it looking back at you… but looked ghostly… my grandma was in the livingroom and I think I was supposed to get her something to eat or something.. my dad said to ignore the mirror (as in don’t worry about it)… hmm like we were all leaving or preparing for something.

No dreams lately.... but new plans-ish

Ok.... so not going to east coast.. and I'm HAPPY about that. ;)

Also not moving... SUPER HAPPY about that too....

Some switched turned in me after I decided not to move.. and could nest. I'm happy about just about everything. Kinda nice ;)

So now trying some interval training stuff.... jog/sprint/jog/sprint.... It is kinda fun. Today is the first time I've done it with music which made it MUCH better. Also have decided to do it on the street instead of on the dark track. Kind of fun and exciting.. we'll see what it does. It has already made it MUCH easier to do the stairs (do 13 flights at a time and now I can do them fast w/out heavy breathing).

Next.. memorize all the Pilates moves..... ;)

ok.. was just checking in really ... so I guess I'll continue to pretend to work.. this will go until about Oct. 10. ;)