My first dream is vague-ish, but going along the theme of a guy in my dream. I think initially I was driving a motorcycle up some muddy path. Myself and some friends were heading to some docks. Before this we were "opening" easter baskets or something like it. There were little kids etc. and checking to see who was happy with what. I think I remember some sort of stickers or something...??? Back to the muddy path... we got to the water , just my guy friend and we were trying to choose which boat or raft to go in, and I was so eager to get in, I just jumped in the water. It felt so good too. It was the perfect temperature. He and I could almost float down the river on our own, with nothing underneath us and it went pretty fast. It was fun. Then we ended up with everyone else. My dad and step-mom were there and her extended family (which is huge). They were all deciding when to get in the water, what to do, lots of talking and not a lot of decision making.
I was in this room and sitting at a table. First I was going through papers. I think I was working and stamping them with dates. The woman in front of me was doing the same thing, but she was a bit slower. She was also not recycling the envelopes and so on. So I took her pile and finished it too. Then I realized with a gasp that I had been using the wrong stamp. It said complete. I was panicked, I wasn't sure if they were completed or not. Then at one point it felt ok and I moved on. Then I was in the same room at a larger table. People were working on some sort of project. It was an assignment of sorts and it seems there was a "right" way to do it, but it was a creative assignment. There were beads, shells, glue, images, other little pieces of this and that and we were all supposed to make a sculpture of sorts on a board. There was an old man there... long white hair, long white beard, old, you could tell he was supposed to be wise. But in my dream I didn't agree with where he was going with the project. I thought sure, at one time that was the truth... but my gut was telling me that the truth has altered now and although I could have done the project exactly how he wanted to play nice nice and appease, I just couldn't do it. So I took my things and started making it how I thought it should be. It felt better. He saw what I was doing and tried to talk to me about it. I knew part of him was disappointed, but part also knew he had to let go and he was moving on. My feeling about what I was doing wasn't complete though. I knew it shouldn't be what was expected, but I only could feel pieces of how it should be. He came over to inspect what I was doing and I just wanted to hide everything. I felt exposed and frustrated that I couldn't explain with words what I was feeling and trying to accomplish. At this point the subject of the project was no longer a board only, but a video and way of living. I started crying saying.... I just can't do all of this. I feel I have to be so perfect and eat organic and know how to live perfectly and I can't eat only organic and live only the good way (huh? ) etc. etc.... and he told me... it is ok, because it isn't time for that yet. I don't have to be that person yet...
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