Saturday, March 26, 2011

ex friends, ex boyfriends...

I first dreamt of a girlfriend of mine that we split off in bad terms. I had written her to see if she had any photos of us. She sent me a box that had anything that had to do with our friendship in it and things that came from inspiration from our friendship. Was she done with it all? We talked and were cordial. It was strange and left a pit in my stomach. That feeling of guilt, regret, unknown feelings, ...

That went to running into my exboyfriend's group of friends and family. There was some event at a restaurant/hotel. I couldn't get away from them and part of me just wanted to face it and be done. The dream went on and on... gave me the same feeling as above but with a bit of relief in that I wasn't fighting it anymore...

Then I was sharing an apartment with my exbf. We had just bought a couch together. There was a cloth on top of it and when I would pull it up, the light would hit the couch and a dark spot would show itself... then be fizzed out (like a foamy cleaner) by the light. As each spot came up, the light would show and it would be "fizzed" and gone again. I was regretting moving in with him, regretting purchasing a couch with him.... and so thought... we could take it back now... the couch had something wrong with it and we can undo all of our commitments. Then a woman came in. Someone I used to work with. She was a classically beautiful person, but had a bit of a dorky countenance, so her pretty was slighted by her presence. In the dream she walked in and was elegant and beautiful. She had moved from being the awkward duckling to a princess. She pulled out two gowns she was to wear at some event.... My ex was basically drooling. He thought she was beautiful. She walked to look out the window wearing a teal satin gown with an exposed back. She looked so feminine, so beautiful.. I felt like there was no way I could compete, not that I had to. 

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