Saturday, March 10, 2012

the whole fam damily

I dreamt about a mix of things. It isn't all sorted in my head yet. But I've never had a dream with so many people I know in it before... friends PC, RP, BW ... family CC, SC, BC, PC, GC ... and possibly more.

In one part I was in a store/building. I was supposed to be preparing someone for death and then they died and making sure things were handled after. I felt like my heart was in the right place and I did the right things. But my friend PC came and my mom and RP and I felt as though they thought I didn't do everything appropriately. I knew the person that died was ok with what had happened, so I was just trying to deal with feelings of being disrespected by people who were not there, did not experience it and so didn't really "know." They just knew what they were seeing after the fact. They continued to finish up the duties and I helped in the room tidying up.

Then I was at a house. Not sure if it was one of my parent's house or not. I was in a shed and looking at all of the old things that had piled up. I think it was a mix of old grandparents' and great grandparents' things. I was excited to treasure hunt, clean up things and so on. I went back in the house for a cloth and my dad was in there. Out on the door step were my nice clothes. Mainly business clothes for work. I yelled why were they out on the wet doorstep to get ruined? My mother appeared and said they were not put away, so she got them out of the way. Another feeling of disrespect, but instead of the mild feelings I felt at the death scenario, I felt inferno angry.. I yelled at the reasons why this wasn't ok and part of me felt weak and teared up... why? why would she cause this frustration. Then my mind went immediately to why did I do to create this situation. I did leave the clothes out, I didn't trust them as well, I was doing things in a sneaky way.... pot/kettle/black...

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