dream

had a weird dream last night that I got married.. was to my first bf. was AWFUL. Just after the "I dos" I was out of the dress and had it rolled up under my arm. I was getting funny looks from everyone because I didn't seem happy. I forgot I still had to go to a reception in bride attire. Ugh.. I was just thinking over and over in my head "what did I do?????" I went into a room to put the dress back on and there was a giant spider in there.. was very angled and pointy, orange and yellow striped.. and it mimicked my every move.. was very creepy.. kinda felt like the dream was about all those things you do to ??? fit in to a situation/group/society/moment/expectation/to get what you think you need/want/etc... but kind of unaware that you are doing it because it has become so much of who everyone is ... the wedding was more like checking off of a things to do list like get a degree, buy house, get retirement.... then I think I became aware and realized I was w/ him for all the wrong reasons.. bleck.. and then the spider was kind of a mirror mimicking me mimicking society... crazy