ok.. I'm at this place in my life... kind of like a fork in the road.. minus the prongs
I'm almost down to no "have tos"
I have no one to please or make discontented
no animal to feed
selling a lot of my stuff... so not much stuff to maintain or house
no material wants
no major destination that I "have" to see
no major goal that I want to accomplish
at least not immediatly... so it is a weird space to be in
I was in a major funk yesterday. A nice friend told me to go in a dark room and review recent happenings. I looked back to what my life accumulated to in just the last few months. It felt like just a lot of doing. Kind of like looking down on an ant colony... you see them mill around but does anything they do "mean" anything. Certainly the last few months of my life haven't...
Sure, I've done some soul searching.. learned some valuable things... but for the whole.. felt empty...
Then I realized all of this is just empty busy making.. the only thing that really matters .. (ok .. get ready for the cheese).. is love. Look at all the messy busy making we have created... kinda nutty when you think of it.. and the meaning we give some things... when none of it really matters... and the one thing that does... is pretty nice.. pretty simple
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