dream of the night

started off with ?? dinner with a friend I used to work with. He is married and he was making moves on me which I didn't care for... So I moved to another table politely and acted as though I was falling asleep. He bought me a glass of wine before he left and I pretended to enjoy it. Icky feeling...

Then still in the restaurant, now house, it was my exbf's or his brother's or...? I was walking around and his brother's gf was there... I told her I was just there to drop something off or something like that... again, an uncomfortable feeling, like I was doing something I shouldn't be or some place I shouldn't be...

Then a blond, made-up gal comes in, and has a "I'm a snob" air about her... . She says "I'll give you solar?? sessions if you would buy this house." More of a "do me a favor dear... but I don't really mean it, because I know you won't buy it." She must have just come from some solar thing because she had these huge goggles on and was sweating a little around the forehead. The house at this point was a friend of mine's and his partner's and they were selling it. It still had some of their furniture in it here and there. It was a huge single story, multi level, lots of windows, modern-esque... lots of angles here and there to feel like the outside was inside... nice, but also foreboding, creepy, ... had an odd feel, like it was too much to handle, was nice and what everyone might want.. so you felt the urge to buy, but it wasn't what I wanted. I think the two sides of me were confused about that and why I felt what I felt etc.

Then my friend's dog was trying to get my attention so I would go somewhere.. it pulled me to an outside spot where there was a pond with kind of eerie frogs and lizards... no movement in the water and then I saw a baby chick and I took it out of the water. Then I woke up.

but I woke up to a voice in my ear saying "comment by atkins."

All left me with a creepy feeling this morning.

I kind of feel like it is a review of some of my life though. :-s Being, doing, having things that are not me just because it is the thing to do. Hard to break out sometimes to see what is you. Hmm...

_____

At work. Not motivated. Need to be.

Have an awards show to go to in LA. Got a dress this weekend etc. Not really looking all that forward to it.

My brother's roommate is going back to germany soon. Not looking forward to that either. We have a really good time, can read each other well. Was nice having him around.

ok... time to work.