rewards

I had a dream I was at a crowded restaurant. I couldn't really turn around well, but could see people. I saw a friend from college and another fellow student and waved. They were both in their 60s.

Then my mind was spinning with ideas and I was stressing then the idea "Reward is my motivation" came into my head. And reward in my dream meant hmm... enlightenment/love. And it made all bad feelings go away and it was like it revved my internal "engine." Then all of these ideas popped in my head, designs of clothes, travel, pictures, all felt good, all happy all felt enlightened. Then I could grasp the idea of not having a body but just having that enlightenment feeling. In reality the idea of giving up humanness kind of disturbs me, but in this dream it felt ok and I was ready for it.