I was at a brunch or something similar with work mates. They were miscellaneous work mates from different times in my life, some nice, some I didn't care for. The restaurant was nice, the food was nice, the lighting was nice.... but I was uncomfortable. I didn't fit, didn't want to be there, so put on a show to get by, to fit in. SP one of the women, brought tray of different desserts. They had been a dessert from each celebration the company had had. They were all ooohing and aaahing like it was something special and something good, something worth all of this pretending and stress for.
Then I went into another room. My mother was there and she was introducing me to people. More people that I didn't care about, didn't fit in with, she didn't fit in with, but one must be polite.
I left the function and was driving home, I think with a coworker. I was looking out of the window, we were driving along a river. I forgot how pretty it was and thought I needed to make time to go there and appreciate it. There were a bunch of people there dressed in costume. Almost old European costumes and war suites. They were shooting fake canons as part of some holiday. I had forgot about that too. It was very festive and nice to see.
Then it seemed the group of workers were all at some sort of retreat. I think we were all staying in a very large home of some sort. People were leisurely getting ready, chatting with their spouses or enjoying themselves. I was the only one running around doing errands, making sure things were taken care of. It bothered me and I wanted to stop, but my mind kept urging me to finish.... just finish this and you will be done.. and then that.. and then the next time the boss sees you what ever he asks for. I looked in the mirror... I noticed almost the whole top of my head was almost bald. I thought... well good to know... means I must be stressed, I should do something about it before it takes real affect. Some people were about off to go do something fun and festive. I heard someone ask if was coming. Some kid said I couldn't make it because I was "owned."
Then I dreamt that this guy I met in the Netherlands (RVB) was talking to me. He was showing me a calendar. One line showed a date that had past and then a future date a year later. He said... so... I guess we will get together in a year then? I told him he had said the same thing last year... and it didn't happen.
Then I went into another room. My mother was there and she was introducing me to people. More people that I didn't care about, didn't fit in with, she didn't fit in with, but one must be polite.
I left the function and was driving home, I think with a coworker. I was looking out of the window, we were driving along a river. I forgot how pretty it was and thought I needed to make time to go there and appreciate it. There were a bunch of people there dressed in costume. Almost old European costumes and war suites. They were shooting fake canons as part of some holiday. I had forgot about that too. It was very festive and nice to see.
Then it seemed the group of workers were all at some sort of retreat. I think we were all staying in a very large home of some sort. People were leisurely getting ready, chatting with their spouses or enjoying themselves. I was the only one running around doing errands, making sure things were taken care of. It bothered me and I wanted to stop, but my mind kept urging me to finish.... just finish this and you will be done.. and then that.. and then the next time the boss sees you what ever he asks for. I looked in the mirror... I noticed almost the whole top of my head was almost bald. I thought... well good to know... means I must be stressed, I should do something about it before it takes real affect. Some people were about off to go do something fun and festive. I heard someone ask if was coming. Some kid said I couldn't make it because I was "owned."
Then I dreamt that this guy I met in the Netherlands (RVB) was talking to me. He was showing me a calendar. One line showed a date that had past and then a future date a year later. He said... so... I guess we will get together in a year then? I told him he had said the same thing last year... and it didn't happen.
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