Spirits and costume

I dreamt that I was in an Irish type bar. It was a neighborhood bar and I think I lived above it, worked there, knew the people well or all three. It was the holidays, and the place was all decorated, and the bar owner displayed Christmas cards and gifts from customers. The owner was an older white haired man, but he had a lot of ... energy and presence. He was standing on the bar ladder and singing an Irish type rhyming song, when I could see his spirit leave him. It was as though his body changed into his second in command and part of his spirit went into him and that fellow continued to sing the song without skipping a beat. I asked one of the regulars if he had died and too bad and this and that. Then I went to the pile of gifts. I saw that one had been for me. It was a large bottle of alcohol and there was a cartoon of sorts drawn on it with a little joke. I knew it was my friend (TG) from Spain. I went to show another friend (FE), and he didn't quite look at me in a half sneer sort of way. I could tell he felt I was trying to get his attention by making him possibly jealous from another guy giving me a gift and looked down upon it. Maybe I was... I felt bad instantly and put the bottle back.

___

Then I dreamt that I was outside my apartment (not really mine). It was a nice old one, two story, nice bay windows etc. A man in a fancy convertible sports car drove up with a friend of mine. She was cute, short blond bob, knew how to flirt and keep the guys hanging. He had asked us both to go to a play or concert or something where you needed to dress up. He said he would wait and she said she would be just a minute. I knew this wasn't true... she had to shower and it would take her forever to pick something out, let alone me. We dug through things and I couldn't find anything flattering. She picked some avant garde jumpsuit with billowy bottoms. She was the type that could pull it off. I had a gray fitted blazer on that went just past my hips. It was attractive on, but I couldn't find something for the bottoms, besides I looked stiff and business like. I needed to stop doing that. We kept digging through the closets and in the back of my mind I thought... he has probably left already so this is going to be mute. Then again... we would be prepared for next time.

escape, escape, treasure, luck

I dreamt that I was at my grandmother's house. Not her real home. It was near a mountain side and it was snowy. It felt like there was no one in the house and I decided to go cross country skiing. Then I saw a man showing how to cross country ski. It was as if I was watching one of those cooking shows, but for cross country. First I was seeing him from a distance and then it was as though I was seeing through his eyes at his feet and how to move in the snow. I decided to go towards him up the hill. There were a few trees here and there and a small rabbit hopped out in front. I'm not sure any of this felt good. I wanted to learn, but part of it was about getting away, so that motivation tainted how I paid attention to the activity. I wasn't doing well due to it and this sense of urgency and stress of needing to get away.

Then I was back in the house and I had to go to some dinner thing. My norm was to wear black, but I went through my closet (which was my closet as a little girl) and decided on a blue and white fitted gingham dress. I knew I would feel good in it and some part of me wanted to not be put into a pre-assumed box. I went to the table where I was to sit. There were many, like in a wedding, with floral centerpieces etc. The one I was to sit at, the guy there had moved the flowers because he wanted to show everyone something. I was a little disappointed. The nice feeling of a pretty table was gone and it felt empty and ruined.

_______

Then I dreamt that I was on a date with some man from South America or Mexico. He was tall, polite, nicely dressed. I was being polite back. I didn't feel comfortable on this date because with each step, word and movement, I knew that he was trying to woo me and it wasn't going to work. Not because he wasn't worthy. I just didn't get wooed in that way. I wanted a friend, not charisma. He kept on talking and he had a camera and said he would like to take my photo. We had walked to a playground and there were see saws and monkey bars, but also a large painted plywood moon. He asked if I would get on top of the moon for the photo. I looked and it didn't seem like it was possible, but I tried anyway to be agreeable. I climbed on some wooden bleachers. Stepping around a sticky mess someone had left, glad to have seen it. I seemed to have climbed up to the correct height but when I looked at the moon, I was still a distance away, let alone, there was no place to stand or sit. I looked for my friend. I could see him a distance away between the trees in the park. He was arguing with someone. I figured that would be my perfect excuse not to date him, because of agression or something similar. Then I looked down. There were four middle aged Mexican men sitting equal distance apart on the ground facing the moon. They had been having a quiet discussion the whole time as if they were wise men. One looked at me and asked, "Do you have a confession?"   I thought about it, I didn't think so and told them so. Although now it would be running in the back of my mind to make sure.

____

Then dreamt about finding a consigment shop...

___

Then I dreamt that that my sister (which I don't have) was going to marry a very wealthy man.We were young, I was maybe 12 and she younger. I did't feel excited for her or not excited. It was just something that was to be done and it seemed normal. The only thing that wasn't is that we didn't come from a wealthy family. We approached his door and it was as if the "camera" pulled back to go up to the top of the house, looking at the stained glass windows and back down again. Someone let us in to a lobby. The Robbin Williams person wasn't there yet. There was a place to put our coats and then we both decided to use the ladies room. It was very fancy and very large with many items for our use like lotions, perfumes and they were in sample size so that we could take them. He even had spare thigh high stockings available. I took a pare of sheer navy ones with tiny dots and put them in my pocket. My sister took a small chap stick. We left the bathroom and our parents were milling around in the lobby. There were many things to look at. He even had a directory as if we were in a mall. We looked at one of the kiosk type things in the middle. It had modern fashions from different countries hanging with a sign with prices in many different currencies. It was exciting and I couldn't wait to see the rest.
_____

Then I dreamt that I was going to attend a wedding. It was downtown and I had parked behind my Dad on the street. I felt pretty luck to have found the spot. Then it jumped to the wedding being over and I was with my Step Mom looking for their car in a multi-story carpark. The building's walls were red on the in side. We walked in our fancy garb around and around, but couldn't find the car. I told her we should actually look at each car and do it systematically as we were walking to fast (somehow) to see everything. Then on our way back down to do this, I realized that we had parked on the street. It was as though it was the next day because we were worried that the car would be towed or we would have a ticket. Then I remembered we parked late on a Sunday and it was now MLK day, so we would be fine. How lucky.

potato couds and death rooms

I dreamt that the sky was not good. Well, not "healthy." The air had not been moving in a while and the sky was dark with clouds that looked like upside down dollops of mashed potatoes dipped in gravy.

-----

 I dreamt I was with my boyfriend (some blond guy), and we had driven to his apartment. We went up some outdoor stairs to get to his place on the second or third floor. I had been wearing a white skirt, and in the dream, was a bit of a looker. As I was going up the stairs, I was getting attention from men around. Part of me liked an affirmation of my looks, the other didn't appreciate the uninvited stares. I noticed that my skirt had hiked up from sitting in the car, revealing a green skirt beneath. I pulled down my skirt, asking him to remind me to pull it down, him smirking. It wasn't a sweet smirk.

Then I was going  to a hospital type place, I was starting a new job at a place where dead people were. Not a morgue, not a hospital, not a funeral parlor. It was a light office type space, with small rooms that were well lit. The deceased were all on massage type tables, in that they were small and minimal regarding furniture and cushion. There was a deceased person in each room and a watcher or keeper of the room. They were there in a way to keep the body company, make sure it was ok, but possibly more so for the ones left behind so they felt better about the situation. Made the deceased seem more human, more alive, more warm. My job was to do something very simple. I was to file documents, possibly answer the phone if it ever rang, and otherwise lay on a similar massage type table in the small lobby and play dead for passers by.  There was a woman there filing and as I was just sitting there doing nothing, and felt I should be doing something, I finally said hello and introduced myself. She said replied with an almost apologetic introduction. She was Mary and she was only there temporarily, so she wouldn't be able to make friends or mentor me much. She seemed more of a home body, with little experience, maybe picking up some cash for a holiday. I felt better at least talking to her though and being friendly. She said "here, would you like half of the filing?" and I was happy to take it. All by numbers and a word. I know it started with a D, was it died? deceased?  You either filed it by number, or by the word then number. The files were all a mess. I felt good knowing I could add a little value to this simple task by tidying it up. Then the boss woman came in. She said something about a parking space and gave me a smile as though she was giving me the secret of how to turn metal to gold. I replied in a positive manner although I really wasn't sure I wanted a space. I didn't think I would be here long. While I was filing I was thinking, this is not my place. I don't fit with the work, the people, the walls. Should I get that masters in Psychology? Yes... why shouldn't I. Sure, I'll be in debt .... then that thought faded with my sureness of my decision. Decision! That was the D word, or more... decided. Although I think maybe if they were on the files... maybe they were linked with the dead people. The small reception area had just enough space for a tiny desk facing away from the office door but down the hallway of massage tables, a massage table and a small cooler for drinks. My filing was done, so I went to the table to lay and be still. The wall to the outside was a wall of glass. So passers flick their eyes over for a quick look, make an expression and flick back. I could see one woman looking empathetic, another knew I was playing dead and with an eyebrow showed her judgement. Then I saw my boyfriend coming in. I sat up to greet him. He had a huge bouquet of beautiful colorful flowers. They were for his fiance. She was on a massage table down the hall. I wondered... how long will he keep her here? How long will he need to visit this memory? For some reason, it didn't bother me too much, but that reason may have been that I never really invested in him. I walked down the hall way to have a look. It looked cold and sterile, but it felt warm. Kind of like a movie robot that has a monotone voice, but somehow shows feeling. I walked back to the reception area. There were other employees there goofing about. I saw that one of them had dropped and sullied a roll cushion from the massage table. It turns out it was my own table and cushion. I picked it up and I was disappointed to see that this new cushion was soiled beyond repair and had worn holes in it. I turned to my temporary coworker and asked..."how does someone do this? I have had this a long time and I take care of things."

red glitter

I dreamt I was working at a new company. There seemed to be excitement in the air. Either there were new changes in the company or everyone felt good about what they did. The staff seemed pretty youthful and all were dressed in formal, yet stylish business attire. An executive or two had been let go or were retiring and new people were moving in. My position wasn't that high up, but I was enjoying my role in that I wasn't stuck to a desk or one type of job. I could meander and help those that needed help. One friend (KF) of mine had just been hired in a high level position. She was rushing around needing to get a presentation done, but then had to leave. I decided to look over her presentation and help her get it read. It was a very thick book of pages and it seemed they were all misnumbered. I was going to send them through the copy machine 2:1... and then reorder them and send them back through the copy machine 1:2. That would fix it. I also was supposed to put red glitter on the presentation. I think it was supposed to be for a small joke.

stuck

I dreamt that a friend of mine (JB) was helping me with an issue. I didn't know what to do next with my career and I felt stuck.  I was trying to explain it to her. I took a sheet of paper as a visual. I held it in my hand and moved it in front of me as if it were being handed to me from someone else at a job. I said "pretend this is a n assignment given to me at work." Then I felt complete rage in my system, to the point of almost tears and I was about to explain this feeling and then I woke up.

hair cut

I dreamt that I had a short haircut. My hair goes to the middle of my back and I've always liked it. Seeing the cut was a surprise. In the dream I didn't realized I had it done. I first had a second of shock and almost horror and then I stopped myself. I liked it. I felt free and in control. It was as if cutting the hair was a release of all old ideas, habits and memories and I could move forward.