model shots

 I dreamt that I was in line with other models to get photo shots. It was dusk and we were all nude. I felt a bit odd in that my stomach was protruding like a balloon. I said they were taking shots as if I was pregnant. and let it go. I looked down and my stomach moved.. I saw feet and hands moving in my skin. I didn't know how it happened. I was half happy half not. I told someone passing that it could be aborted as if this wasn't meant to be. Then part of me was excited to have a little baby. 

blackberry candy

I dreamt that I was in a hummer type car. We were trying to get away from some people.
A Ferrari and two vans. Oddly the hummer seemed like a tight fit in the back where I was to sit and buckle up. I told them no way was I going to sit back there.  They let me move to the front and take the driver's seat which was much roomier. The crew I was with were all fun, adventurous and nice people.  There was a kitchen under the back part of the hummer, kind of like the space of a tank. One of the fellas had just cooked up some blackberry candy. He brought up a cutting board with some broken chunks of lavender and offered it up to me. I normally wouldn't eat the sugar, but I said ok to bond.

play practice

I dreamt that I was with some people that were practicing for a play. I'm not sure if I was part of it, costumes/props/acting... but I knew I was supposed to be there as I didn't feel out of place. Although, I did feel like an observer.  I was watching people milling about below the stage and the sides working on things. The lead actor and actress were chatting and laughing. She was an actress from a while back, now in her late 60s or early 70s. She was still attractive, dark haired (well most likely with the help of a salon) and kept her petite figure. As I was watching, a tv screen kept bopping in and out of my vision. It was showing a clip of actors who had passed, one image fading into another with the year of 2009 fading in and out like a watermark. It would show a few male actors and then I would be watching play practice again. I wanted to see the total list. I was watching the actors again. There was a prop that was a boat. They were to sit in it and it was mechanized to tilt forward and backward as if floating over waves. He went to sit in the back... again the tv screen turned up.. showing the same list of actors that had passed with the year 2009.  I was back watching the actors and he was all situated in the boat on the back bench. She then got in to sit on the bench in front of him and they practiced with the movement ... and water, getting splashed with it.  I was thinking crazy these days all of the contraptions and props they use in plays and pondering whether simpler was better for a stage. I refocused on the actress and was a bit concerned due to her age... the movements of the boat were not gentle, and although she was in good shape, she still had the bones of an older woman. At one point she held her arms straight up and slid off the back of the bench to lean back on his, smiling the whole time. She seemed just fine,

I looked up 2009 ... and she did look a bit like this:
http://www.oldpasadena.org/blog/wp-content//2009/12/jenniferjones.jpg

Jennifer Jones - Actress (1919 - 2009)

eventual path

I dreamt that I was on a train or tram on my way to a specific location. It was in Germany, Austria or Belgium, .. and knew I would pass by cute villages, rivers and flowers as it was spring. I had a specific place to go, but had never been there and the description was vague. I was to see a bridge, I envisioned with baskets of flowers hanging from it. Then once across the bridge, there would be a path to the left and an house at the end of that path.

I felt like I was on the train with others I knew... or at least was talking to. Or maybe I was just talking to myself, but I saw places that seemed like the right bridge or path, but they just didn't feel right.  I thought, what if that was the one... and I missed it, but I comforted myself in knowing that there would be another opportunity.

I got off at a stop finally and funnily, I saw no bridge or path, but it just felt right. I walked down along the road towards the town and met nice people, and there it was. The bridge and I could see the path to the left right across from it.

Then I was with TMB and SG from work. They were walking along looking at little food stands. We were all chatting. SG said... "so the other day, I gathered up a list of news stations, web sites, reporters and so on.. You know my brother went missing a month ago.  So I sent the list to my family letting them know I would contact them soon and see which ones would be willing to air the story. I cc:'d my brother on it just in case anyone was checking his email."  He paused and was expressionless, in a dry sort of way. He continued, "I got a response back... it was from my missing brother. He wrote, "I think it would have taken me more than a month to create that list." It turns out when I dropped him at the airport, I had sent him with his baggage, but his passport was in my briefcase. He has been stuck at an airport for a month and they didn't allow him to contact anyone."

petrified 2

I dreamt that I was sitting on a sofa near these very large windows. A friend of mine TMB and I were watching a storm. The clouds were swirling around. It was amazing to watch. At one point the cloud seemed form shapes and come towards the window. I was excited to see it, but then it turned into a hand shape that came from behind to get me. I couldn't move to escape it.

petrified 1

I dreamt that I was sleeping on my side, then felt something or someone pressed up against my back... I couldn't move.

instructor

I dreamt that I was in high school. I went to empty my locker. I had more than two file boxes worth of items to go through. How had I accumulated so much? It felt like I had been there for years and years, as I was looking through my things as if I hadn't seen them in a decade or more.  I found a pile of pee chees, each labeled by subject. I guess I had forgotten that I had organized things that way. Did I still need all of this or could I dump it. It felt heavy in weight and mind and I decided on the latter.

 It was the last day of school and I still had to take the final test before I could move on with my life. We all had to take a verbal test in front of the class. It felt a bit voluntary, either you spoke up or you didn't. Although I didn't feel like anyone would miss out on their chance. I saw a bunch of math equations on the board. I felt confident as I was very good at maths. The instructor sat in the back and observed. He was Alan Rickman.  Well, my instructor, not the actor. I took my shot and I guess I did well, although I felt as though it was a bit half-assed. I went to my seat in the back near him and he spoke to me. He went into my character, my talents, who he thought I was. It was moving to have someone understand you so well, flaws and all, and still appreciate you. We were connected.

He reached out for my hand and held it and asked if we could meet. It was as if the situation had taken over and I was no longer in charge of my body or voice. Of course it was yes. I went home and started to straighten everything. Scotch - check, port - I think check... glasses clean - check.  I was 18, my life was starting. I felt very prepared and very excited.

Then it seemed we were going to go on a bit of an outing. I was in the south of Europe some where, a bit hot, a bit serene. We walked over a hill to find a lake. One I had never heard of as if it was almost unknown to most. It thought of who I should share this with and decided maybe it was best kept a secret. There were some Italians there, some I knew. The water was beautiful, he was beautiful. 

freedom

I dreamt that I had two boys, 2 and 4 years old.  I had a partner that I wanted nothing to do with... It actually felt worse than a prison, because I had made the choice to begin it all.  I felt obligated to my choice. But I felt like I would rather have death than be in that relationship. The person wasn't so horrible, but I couldn't be there anymore. Then there were the children... I initially felt like he  couldn't take them.. they should be mine.  I didn't want to live without them, I loved them so much. But I didn't want his influence on them ...  Then I recognized the life I would have, visitation, decisions, coordinating and I felt angst and trapped. I didn't want this life. I didn't want to have to be tied to him, to schedules, to ...   My mother had me over to talk about things... I knew where it was going... a list of everything I "should" do... I didn't want any of it. It was a nightmare. 

delivery

I dreamt that I was going to do a skit type thing with friend. She asked what kind of hair she thought we should have in these roles. I told her that I saw her character with straight hair brown hair and straight bangs.  She said she had to use her own hair so, it would have to just be good enough. But her hair was straight with the bangs, but black when I was thinking something a little more dowdy.
My character was to be blond with a similar cut. We had uniforms like catholic school but the skirts were a bit more flouncy. What was the film we were doing? The film guy came in and we were to practice our parts. I don't remember much but at one point she had her clothes off and she was standing near a rack of clothes on the wall as if at a nice boutique. He felt a bit creepy to me. I felt unease as if I had just put myself in a not so safe situation.

Then I had a delivery. It was a box wrapped in brown paper. It had the address 3030 on it. I bicycled down by this almost all black building. I looked down at the address on the box and was impressed that I could hold such a large box while riding. I coasted my bike to the side of the building. There were three Asian guys sitting on the grass with their bikes. I went to knock on a door as if it was the one, although there were no addresses near any of the doors. The guys looked at me and said "No one will open the doors," as if my exercise of knocking was futile. "And besides.... that one is 1515." I knew it was as I had delivered there sometime in the past. I asked them if they knew were 3030 was, and they pointed in a direction to the front of the building. The building went in and out with more doors and I followed along... I saw more of the absence of addresses. At one point I just knew somehow that I had walked by 6060, and if I kept going I would find 3030. I was drawn to its entrance. I wanted to walk away maybe, but they saw me and I felt drawn in. I thought at least they could help me. They were a couple of ladies, maybe in their 50's or older, or maybe not. They didn't take care of their appearances which made them look a bit more worn.

I told them about my package for 3030 and they looked at each other and then looked at me. A look of should we tell her? They also said that no one would open the doors. We were in a room that was a bit large.. kind of like a ballroom, but more like a grange hall with old linoleum, paneled walls, and fluorescent lighting. The place was a mess with folding tables topped with open boxes and piles here and there. They offered for me to sit down. I saw there were quite a few people in the room that were milling about. It seems the two women were in charge at that moment, but who were the other people? I noticed two men that were in what looked like giant black bags made out of plastic tarp fabric reinforced with a weave of threads. I saw another man with googly eyes kind of milling about with no direction and then it hit... this was some sort of "home" for mentally ill. The ladies confirmed. I asked about the men in bags and they said that they had committed murders or had violent tendencies.

The ladies had been talking about needing entertainment or a movie for someone. I said that I had a film on my phone they could watch, the skit we just had performed. I then paused and told them about the naked scene, explaining it wasn't meant to be sexy, but maybe too much in this environment.  They agreed. They asked me instead if I would like to volunteer with something for their group, as if I wanted to do something for them?? She started running off ideas and I heard sorting and stuffing envelopes so I volunteered for that one. It sounded mindless and easy. I walked with her to the room's entrance and she told me to wait there. I sat in a chair facing the room right next to the opening in a hard chair upholstered with brown vinyl. A man in one of those bags was sitting right next to me and another was standing in front of me facing me swaying from foot to foot trying to get eye contact. I knee jerkily avoided his eyes, but part of me really wanted to look. Part of me wanted to get to know all of them. What made them tick, was there anything left? I was more drawn to the ones in the bags. They hadn't checked out yet. They were still intense and alive.

4 headed poodle

I dreamt that I was trying to use a camera. This camera was a little different thought. It was semi-transparent white plastic, maybe 4x6x.5.  There was one bit that stuck out at the top which looked like a clear lens where you look through to frame your photo.  I noticed when I looked through it, it was all blurry. Maybe I was looking through the wrong side, so I turned it around, but that felt off and still blurry.  Maybe I didn't know how to use it, or maybe it was broken.

I looked to my friends who looked at me with faces of "umm no it works..."  So I tried my left eye and I could see much more clearly. It wasn't the camera, it was my vision. I had never had my eyes checked in my adult life. I had always had good vision.  I guess it was time for an eye check.

I knew where was a well touted place called Visage. It was expensive, the owner was a bit snooty maybe, but I would be happy. There was also another place owned by a woman with short black hair, middle aged, a bit not nice.  I just happened be standing right next to that one.

It seems my impatience won over my love for  satisfaction and I went to inquire about an exam. I wa in a showroom of glass frames and I saw her come out of an office. She seemed pleasant enough and I told her my situation. She stated the obvious, that it would be an good idea for a checkup. I looked past her to her office and saw that she had dogs. She said "oh yes, they come with me every day."  There was a 4 headed poodle and a couple of other older dogs. She said "They are frail-ish but nice. Sometimes my patients get uneasy, especially during surgery.  It would be a tragedy if a dog barked and caused a patient to move or for me to jump. But it hasn't happened."   (Yet... I"m thinking... )

date

I dreamt that I was going to have a date with DavidM. I went to his home and met some people... roommates? relatives? They were pleasant and greeted me. I was all dressed up in a gauzy dress and felt a little stupid. It looked like a prom dress.. I think I was excited for the date and wanted to treat it special.  I had pants on under though just in case.

I came in and sat down. D said the date wasn't tonight.. It was supposed to be on Friday.. but would I like to stay and watch a movie? We sat on the sofa and they had me balance a projector on my lap so that it was high enough for all to see. D wanted to lay his head in my lap. He looked at the projector and grimaced. He looked around the room and saw a box, picked it up, plopped it on the coffee table and moved the projector.. Then snuggled up to my lap.

teeth

I dreamt that I wanted my teeth fixed. I was in an old house type place, or just an more classic wood paneled office and TMB said she could do them for me. She had worked for a dentist and knew how to do it.  She started working on them and they all fell out. I oddly wasn't panicked. I knew that the office was insured and this just meant that the dentist would fix them, do a better job and now for free because they created the issue in the first place.

I left there and walked through the building. It turned out to be a very old hotel ... lots of wood, lots of green, dim lighting. It had a nice feeling. I was walking through rooms and down halls and noticed someone had some old things out. There were trinkets, pendants, old pins... then there were old war medals and pins as well. They felt like treasures.

journey

I dreamt that I was in a deserted area. I was walking through some barren areas, gravel, hills, torn down fences... I noticed a couple of people behind me.. I could feel they were either younger or less experienced than I. Either way they were looking for help and guidance. I let them come with me. This would mean more to take care of,  but seemed better some how.

We kept walking and I saw in the distance what looked like a city, possibly civilization.  I was about to descend the hill I was on, excited to speed up and get to this city. Then I found myself on the ground, as if I just woke up. We had decided to make camp there and start out the next morning. I didn't feel like it was by choice. It was still dark, and I could hear the others sleeping next to me. Then I felt something on my neck. Was it my hair being moved by the breeze?  Then I felt it again. It was a small animal... a mouse? no, a rat.. it was larger. I was in that groggy state of first awakening and couldn't seem to move. I could barely make a noise, but imagined being able to swipe it away,  but I couldn't. 

zombie

I dreamt I was in the midst of zombies.  I was in a barn and the way to kill them seemed to be hitting them with bats until they died, which took about 2 to 3 hits.

There were two stages to becoming a zombie. The first stage, you still had some sensibilities about you, but you were somewhat clumsy and maybe a bit more gullible. Then after a bit of time you become a full fledged zombie. I would try and talk demi-zombies into killing the other zombies.  I would make them think they were not zombies yet and/or that if they killed them, it would somehow help themselves. It worked for the most part. 

easily impressed

I dreamt that I was hanging out with Mick Jagger. We were practicing American accents. His was a bit on the nasal side.. but I was trying to think.. maybe they do sound that way. It was fun, light hearted... kicking around and sounding funny.

Then we were in some gymnasium but it was also kind of a bar, also kind of a entertainment venue??

This girl showed up, I guess she was kind of with us, Isla Fisher. She started going around the floor, pointing her toes as she walked stylistically across the room. Then it seemed as though she was doing flips in the air, when I noticed she was on a trapeze. She kept on doing flips, cartwheels, sliding across furniture... Mick was entranced. This petite little red head was dancing around as if a three year old performing for her parents... and he loved every bit of it. Thought she was the most amazing thing.

Was I jealous?  I don't think so?? I just was in aw that someone could be so impressed with so little.  Maybe also how impressed she was with herself, although innocently so.

Then she walked over to a beige leather chiropractic or ?? medical table... going head first she decided to slide down to the feet, but landed wrong. She hurt herself pretty badly. It thought maybe she couldn't move, but proceeded to walk into the hall... stumbled and then fell on her back.

A female service worker noticed and ran to her. I felt she wanted to help and then spread papers all over the ground. Insurance type things, to make sure she would be covered and cared for. The manager of the building initially walked right over the woman, but then noticed the potential for lawsuit.

ledge

I dreamt that I was walking up a grassy man made hill that was in between a major road way and a high rise. I was up pretty high and climbing over railings and feeling pretty adventurous. The goal was to climb over and jump to a ledge on the building. I was to the top railing and looked over the edge and fear set in. It really wasn't that far of a jump, but the thought of everything that could go wrong .. stopped me.  My friend BlW showed up and he wanted to help me, encourage me. He went out to the ledge jumped off to show me that even if I did fall, the risk was little.

It didn't seem to help, although I appreciated his efforts. Then I saw a security guard walk up the hill... he was coming to say that I couldn't jump, it wasn't legal. I felt he was doing it so I had an out. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. 

aisle

I dreamt that I was around a stack of boxes... they kind of made a corridor and I was at the dead end. I was standing with a guy and we were looking through a stack of books on one of the boxes. I felt like there were treasures hidden in the books. He gave me a couple of things out of them. A friend of his gave me a small bag of chips to snack on while we looked.

Then I guess we were done. He left and I went to follow, but I was a bit behind. I walked through the back end of a grocery store that was like a maze. It was like a tiny version of Ikea, where you were kind of forced to walk by every product and couldn't just escape to the end. It was nicely set up, enjoyable to look at. I noticed some red peppers. I wanted some. They sounded fresh and thirst quenching. The farther you walked through the store, the less tiny it became.

I reached the end at the check out and noticed they had a coffee counter.  I felt I was about to go on a trip.

flying

I dreamt that I could fly. I was flying around town with my friend SD. We flew around town, up hills, through back yards.

It seems the city had been rebuilt. There were man made hills to prevent weather conditions from affecting certain areas. All of the homes had been wiped out except for houses at the top and at the valley.

I flew around more and showed my friend a place I had lived (only really had lived there in a previous dream).. It was a huge place I remembered.. but was thinking I hadn't lived there long and that it was a built false to say that I had lived there at all.

Then it felt as though she needed my assistance to fly.. when she grabbed my hand... we would both fall I kept telling her to let go. That her doing that kept us both from flying due to doubt in our own abilities.

I finally flew on my own. I flew way out into the coutry side ... I saw my little dog sophie.. I swooped down and picked her up and then we were flying and it was great.

Sophie was no longer alive in reality ... in my dream,  I wondered if this was a sign... was I going to die  or was I already dead?

I kept flying and noticed there were electric wires in the sky.  I was going too fast and coudln't go below or above.. so went right between wires.... closing my eyes.. I was sure that I would hit them, but we made it.

jail

I dreamt of jail... a women's jail. I would say I dreamt that I was in jail, but I felt more like an observer.. although I would pop in someone's mind/body for a second and take that perspective.

All of the inmates wore pale yellow. The clothing felt more like pajamas... light and not meant for outside conditions. Three women... sometimes "we" were in a cell. None of us wanted to be there of course, but we were not too focused on it. I didn't really know why any of them where there... the thought would pop in here and there... well, more of a feeling of "oh yeah... I did that horrible thing" but it would pop out before the details would show up. The women were getting moved. There was a female guard that was quite husky and and a more slight male. I think he was a doctor though. He felt much more kind, sensitive and caring.

One of the inmates was pregnant. I would pop into her mind and body. She felt a little naive, simple and a bit of ignorance is bliss. They led us down the hallway of white walls and shiny white tile floors. It didn't seem too bad. If this was jail, it didn't feel like punishment. We didn't have to think, organize, plan, reason.... just follow.  There was no real stress. We arrived at our destination... it was a nice sized room with a wall of windows that faced an garden. The she guard handed the pregnant inmate (me) what looked like a yellow plastic pitcher, but it was meant to be a toilet. I guess it was due to the condition of the body, and it would be easier than getting up in the night. I wasn't sure how it would work, but I figured they knew what they were doing. I set it down by what was to be my bed. The other women didn't seem as pleased as the pregnant me. I listed out all the reasons we should be happy and it seemed to bring some levity.

Then it was if I woke from this dream and there was a fat little puppy on my knees. I startled it and it fell to the ground with a little yelp. Not far, just enough to shock it and make it whine a bit. Was awfully cute. 

more

I dreamt that I was going somewhere with a group of people. We were walking as if we were tourists, walking on an intended path... although we had never been there before, we just knew where we were coming from and the destination. That there was some space we had to traverse to get from a to b.

I wasn't paying much attention as I was just trusting we would get there. It was enough that I knew we all wanted the same thing and that someone with us was moving us forward.

We arrived at a location. Our guide looked at me with wide eyed expectantly. He was like a cat that just brought me a dead mouse. I took a deep breath as I took in the view. It was a vast golden stairway leading down to water... across from it was a wall of golden bricks. On the bricks were various sculptures, some just round faces and some abstract. The guide... my friend, took my camera and pointed it to focus on one of the sculptures. It was beautiful with the light perfectly casting shadows to make the details more precise. I took the camera in my hand and quickly went to focus on another sculpture... then another... they were blurry and I couldn't make out the details. I realized he showed me the best vision on the wall and I took it for granted and shortened the experience by needing to find my own vision. I wanted to find the one he showed me again, but I couldn't seem to locate it. I felt a little stupid... but had I another chance, I probably would have done the same thing. Not knowing it was the best, I went to seek out more.

We traversed the water and he left me at his home. It was beautiful, although a bit over run with books, items, old papers... It was messy, but that almost made it more interesting and cozy.

I looked around a bit and starting feeling like it was my own. I'm not sure if hours, days or months passed... but the group was coming back to retrieve me. It was enough time to not want them there, in what now seemed mine and my friend's place.