I dreamt I was driving on a backroad with a friend (CK). It was dark and I felt out of control. Obstacles in the road kept popping up in my way that I couldn't see until we were close. We came to a dead end of sorts and I tried to stop the car, but the breaks were not working. I think she thought that I had been too tired to drive or on medication/alcohol. I wanted her to know that I wasn't. I just didn't have control of the car or my environment. For some reason there was a need to still move forward at a quick pace even though there were obstacles and things taht could ruin me. I don't know if it was a run away, or more of a need to "get done." Maybe the latter. We finally stopped by smashing into a car. It was on the edge of a hole, and we were on top of another car. If I leaned to my side we would fall in. If we leaned to her side, I thought would be better. She leaned to far and the car over turned. We got out and some guys that had pushed the car over were upset. One said we ran into his dad's car and would need to pay, he was going to call the police. I told him not to worry, I would pay with my insurance. I was afraid of him calling the police because now I was doubting myself on whether I had substances in me or not.
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Then I dreamt that I was at some sort of party, maybe a reunion. It felt like there were people there that were happy to see me, like a guy (WF) that had a crush on me through my school days. It felt like a warm and inviting place. There was a large buffet and I was hungry. I knew I wanted something healthy, but it seemed there was mainly things like cheese cake and other rich foods. People were leaving, I wanted to go home as well. I was supposed to go home with a friend (SK), but she didnt' want to rid ewith me. She thought that I had drank. I don't think I had, but again was doubting myself due to others. In both dreams I did have a feeling of lack of control, but it wasn't due to chemicals. It was again some pull to do something, to get something done, check off a list. I drove home and she was judgemental about it. At home, was actually a woman's home that was a friend of my mom's when I was young (SL). It always felt safe and nice. It still did, but it seemed people were coming up to the house that made it feel less so.
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Then I dreamt that I was at some sort of party, maybe a reunion. It felt like there were people there that were happy to see me, like a guy (WF) that had a crush on me through my school days. It felt like a warm and inviting place. There was a large buffet and I was hungry. I knew I wanted something healthy, but it seemed there was mainly things like cheese cake and other rich foods. People were leaving, I wanted to go home as well. I was supposed to go home with a friend (SK), but she didnt' want to rid ewith me. She thought that I had drank. I don't think I had, but again was doubting myself due to others. In both dreams I did have a feeling of lack of control, but it wasn't due to chemicals. It was again some pull to do something, to get something done, check off a list. I drove home and she was judgemental about it. At home, was actually a woman's home that was a friend of my mom's when I was young (SL). It always felt safe and nice. It still did, but it seemed people were coming up to the house that made it feel less so.
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