instructor

I dreamt that I was in high school. I went to empty my locker. I had more than two file boxes worth of items to go through. How had I accumulated so much? It felt like I had been there for years and years, as I was looking through my things as if I hadn't seen them in a decade or more.  I found a pile of pee chees, each labeled by subject. I guess I had forgotten that I had organized things that way. Did I still need all of this or could I dump it. It felt heavy in weight and mind and I decided on the latter.

 It was the last day of school and I still had to take the final test before I could move on with my life. We all had to take a verbal test in front of the class. It felt a bit voluntary, either you spoke up or you didn't. Although I didn't feel like anyone would miss out on their chance. I saw a bunch of math equations on the board. I felt confident as I was very good at maths. The instructor sat in the back and observed. He was Alan Rickman.  Well, my instructor, not the actor. I took my shot and I guess I did well, although I felt as though it was a bit half-assed. I went to my seat in the back near him and he spoke to me. He went into my character, my talents, who he thought I was. It was moving to have someone understand you so well, flaws and all, and still appreciate you. We were connected.

He reached out for my hand and held it and asked if we could meet. It was as if the situation had taken over and I was no longer in charge of my body or voice. Of course it was yes. I went home and started to straighten everything. Scotch - check, port - I think check... glasses clean - check.  I was 18, my life was starting. I felt very prepared and very excited.

Then it seemed we were going to go on a bit of an outing. I was in the south of Europe some where, a bit hot, a bit serene. We walked over a hill to find a lake. One I had never heard of as if it was almost unknown to most. It thought of who I should share this with and decided maybe it was best kept a secret. There were some Italians there, some I knew. The water was beautiful, he was beautiful.