I dreamt an ex boyfriend BW, called and I think I was going to drop something off of his, or pick something up of mine. I went to his place and he wasn't home yet, which I was glad. The place was dark, and I went to go do what I was supposed to do, hoping to finish and leave. I think I noticed something, was thinking something that made me pause or was looking at a tv, to where I was in a mini trance for a moment. I was holding on to a door jam and just sitting there. Then I felt a warm hand touch mine. I looked over my shoulder and it was him. He held my hand for a bit and asked me to come over. I had a container in the other hand and said that I should take care of this first and would be over. I don't know if I was buying time to figure out what he wanted, how I wanted this to go, or just scared of closeness altogether. I went to move and I spilled some of the container. I told him it smelled like chicken stock and he said ... yes, it is chicken stock, but with a tone that it was much more. I got a towel to clean it up. He said he really wanted to talk about something. I think I asked what and he made a gesture... about this... meaning he and I and our last talk. I was excited he wanted to talk and at the same time a bit mistrusting, that it would just be him wanting to say why we were not together, or something else that meant we were not right.
Then I was driving. It seems I had finished there, but I'm not sure we talked. All that I knew was that I felt very woozy. I went to go park at a mall where I was going to run an errand. I got out of the car and was walking down a sidewalk in heels. I could barely stay up without checking my balance. A man was walking up. At first I thought it was my photography friend BM, he looked older and not as healthy, then I realized it was someone I didn't know. He saw that I was having some sort of trouble and he thought that I had wanted to go down some stairs before him. I told him no, but he insisted saying he would take the way through the store. I should have taken the way through the store... as it would have led me to where I wanted to go without stairs, but I felt it was too late to change direction, I didn't want to keep moving forward. I knew I could do it with concentration. I held on to the railing and started my first step down the stairs. They were metal and had a cut out pattern in them that you could see through, and get a heel stuck on. I was woozier than I thought. I was wishing I had just taken the way through the store now. It would have been simple, but i wanted to avoid him and something felt like cheating going that route. I held on tight and slid down to the step, heel to mid calf until I could feel the step. I carried on that way to the first landing. The second half of stairs had no railing, but it looked more solid. Cement steps instead of metal and I could see my destination, which made me feel more solid.
Then I was driving. It seems I had finished there, but I'm not sure we talked. All that I knew was that I felt very woozy. I went to go park at a mall where I was going to run an errand. I got out of the car and was walking down a sidewalk in heels. I could barely stay up without checking my balance. A man was walking up. At first I thought it was my photography friend BM, he looked older and not as healthy, then I realized it was someone I didn't know. He saw that I was having some sort of trouble and he thought that I had wanted to go down some stairs before him. I told him no, but he insisted saying he would take the way through the store. I should have taken the way through the store... as it would have led me to where I wanted to go without stairs, but I felt it was too late to change direction, I didn't want to keep moving forward. I knew I could do it with concentration. I held on to the railing and started my first step down the stairs. They were metal and had a cut out pattern in them that you could see through, and get a heel stuck on. I was woozier than I thought. I was wishing I had just taken the way through the store now. It would have been simple, but i wanted to avoid him and something felt like cheating going that route. I held on tight and slid down to the step, heel to mid calf until I could feel the step. I carried on that way to the first landing. The second half of stairs had no railing, but it looked more solid. Cement steps instead of metal and I could see my destination, which made me feel more solid.
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