I dreamt that I was going to a fancy event. I was with a foreign group though. Not foreign as in from another country, but people with different activities, ideas, values, history. These were people maybe that I might judge. Possibly only because I don't understand them... or compare their life and values to my own, which is probably an impossible comparison.
I was wearing something out of my comfort zone, but was fitting for their group. It was a young dress, pink, short, a bit sheer and sparkly. It didn't feel, me, but it felt right enough for the occasion that I didn't feel uncomfortable. I was with a group of women, one that I knew and I guess would consider her a closer-than-acquaintance. Our date or guide was a young man from this life style. He knew what he was doing, where to go, who to talk to. I liked not having to think about what to do, but everything he did felt .... like a trade for something. He was polite here to move to the next square, flirty there to get a few more squares down the path.... like if he just kept doing what was needed, he could stop holding his breath finally at the end and breath. But what would he have at the end? would there be an end... ? would he spend his whole life knowing how to play the game and holding his breath? Whatever it was, it didn't make me feel good and I didn't trust him.
We were in an elevator in the magnificent house or building that we were in, and my acquaintance/friend invited me to the next event. His face tightened and he looked at her and said that he didn't think I had the appropriate attire for that event. I could tell he didn't want me to go, for whatever reason, not necessarily personal, and I didn't think I wanted to. I didn't think I wanted to be at this event. I could hear another person, DH making some drama. I felt I was in between two worlds and I didn't belong in either.
We reached the top of the building, there was music, lights, it was pretty... where you think you would like to be or experience if you saw photos, but no one really knew each other, cared about each other... and probably didn't even know why they were there, and wouldn't have fond memories to take with them.
I wanted to leave, there were glass stairs to get down. They were extremely slippery, as if they were covered in oil. There was a kitten on the stairs for some reason that was making it just fine. I put one foot on and kept another on sure grounding. Then decided I would sit my way down.
I was wearing something out of my comfort zone, but was fitting for their group. It was a young dress, pink, short, a bit sheer and sparkly. It didn't feel, me, but it felt right enough for the occasion that I didn't feel uncomfortable. I was with a group of women, one that I knew and I guess would consider her a closer-than-acquaintance. Our date or guide was a young man from this life style. He knew what he was doing, where to go, who to talk to. I liked not having to think about what to do, but everything he did felt .... like a trade for something. He was polite here to move to the next square, flirty there to get a few more squares down the path.... like if he just kept doing what was needed, he could stop holding his breath finally at the end and breath. But what would he have at the end? would there be an end... ? would he spend his whole life knowing how to play the game and holding his breath? Whatever it was, it didn't make me feel good and I didn't trust him.
We were in an elevator in the magnificent house or building that we were in, and my acquaintance/friend invited me to the next event. His face tightened and he looked at her and said that he didn't think I had the appropriate attire for that event. I could tell he didn't want me to go, for whatever reason, not necessarily personal, and I didn't think I wanted to. I didn't think I wanted to be at this event. I could hear another person, DH making some drama. I felt I was in between two worlds and I didn't belong in either.
We reached the top of the building, there was music, lights, it was pretty... where you think you would like to be or experience if you saw photos, but no one really knew each other, cared about each other... and probably didn't even know why they were there, and wouldn't have fond memories to take with them.
I wanted to leave, there were glass stairs to get down. They were extremely slippery, as if they were covered in oil. There was a kitten on the stairs for some reason that was making it just fine. I put one foot on and kept another on sure grounding. Then decided I would sit my way down.
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