through the door

I dreamt that I was reading a book. Then I was invited or coerced through a door by a clown and someone else I knew. The clown was creepy looking,  but I knew him and the person. I knew what ever was behind the door, I would not like. I had already been down a road with them before. The door opened and it was more of the same. A group full of scary people and scared people. I walked through anyway, knowing I didn't want it, knowing I would feel stuck, knowing a door would shut behind me and not knowing when it would open again.

The clown left and shut the door. The door was sort of a portal. You wouldn't return to where you were before by going back through it. I decided to check the door and it opened. I had a feeling that in leaving the room, I would be facing I feared. But I couldn't be in this room anymore.

I walked through the door. I noticed I was dressed like a clown. I wast at a rodeo. Maybe my scary thing to face would be that I was a rodeo clown and have to face bulls. I'm thinking maybe I can go through with it. It was better than living the same life in the room. I walk around. I see cages with tigers. I hear a little girl... "Look mommy, it's a girl clown." I feel good that I can do something good even if it is only entertainment.
There is a kid in the cage the tiger is rubbing up against him. People watching think it is sweet, and it is a bit. But I'm waiting for the tiger to turn on the kid, then it won't be so sweet. I decide to go over and pick the boy up. He had taken off his boots and his feet were all muddy.  I did't care about his dirty feet getting all over my costume. Something about doing what felt right trumped anything else.

My mom was there. We were walking around and I see some riding boots to try on. They are unique, part gray wool and part leather and they were a good deal. I try on the boots and not sure I like them.
There is a message to me about a four prong bulb.. it ends up meaning a four sided bulb (like an old flash for a camera).  I need to get one for something that is coming up in my life. The maintenance guy from work shows up. He said there is a package for me. He asks my friend AG if I have been cleared to be here at this rodeo. He says he will ignore the clearance for me, but I just need to get out there and go get that package, it is important.

My mom was going to buy boots for me, I took them off and decided against them. She pulled out her money. It was US money, but it was pretty, pastel colors,  gold designs woven through and then a particular note that the president signs with blood. It seemed honorable in the dream instead of twisted. The people in the booth with the boots start helping me with ideas on how to get the bulb.