suitcase

I had a dream this guy from highschool that I have honestly not thought, seen or heard of since high school, was working at this place and I saw him there. Then this girl gives me this gorgeous antique suitcase as a gift (from him) and flowers from him. I open the suitcase and on one side were many new beautiful shoes and the othe rside were some nice new clothes and fancy lingerie etc. I was excited about the gift and wanted to be completely, but then felt guilt... the girl was like.. ummm you are not going to keep it are you... (like.. why would you keep a gift from this guy you barely know, and he likes you, so you keeping it is saying you like him back... and are you ready for that?).. But it was so nice and fairy tale like.Then he came down the hallway. I ran to hide behind a door but he needed something behind that door and as he moved it I said boo and laughed like it was my plan... Then it gets blurry.  I did have a job in the dream. :) That was nice.

house crumbling

I dreamt of the house I grew up in. I was house sitting. A main living room picture window was busted. I was there while it was getting fixed. Then I was outside talking to someone about it getting fixed. Some people were sitting in the dining room and the wall started to crumble and the floor was rotted and fell apart. Then some guy started shooting in the house.  I think I kind of gave up


Then I was in a prison of sorts. It was a small square room. Prisoners were being brought in and each had a stall no larger than the person. The room was dark. I realized I wasn't a prisoner as much as I was someone there to make sure the prisoners didn't live long. They couldn't see me because their eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet. Myself and another girl would partner up and kill the new prisoners. It didn't feel bad though. It felt like we were keeping things clean and taken care of.

misc...

dream I had many shoes ... was looking for one particular pair to go to an appointment. People were waiting on me yet I was not going to give up on finding this one pair. I finally put on the one pair that I didn't want to wear.. and took an armful of shoes with me just in case I could find them on the way. They felt like the drug me down... all of these choices but I still wasn't willing to give them up... just in case.

- - - - - -

I had a dream there was a baby... pale... sickly looking kind of .. the kind you can see through their skin. Her limbs were like strings. I was kind of worried and said... we need to build some muscles in these. She spoke to me saying... I wasn't very interesting. I said.. You can talk? She said we are all born with the ability to communicate.

- - - - - -

porsche, road trip...

Ok.. I had a dream I was driving a car then realized it was my car.. then realized it was a very nice car and then was kind of coming to reality that my life has changed.

 - - - - -

I was driving back from ?? somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean I guess, because next stop was NY driving west from the road. I had driven this trip several times (in the dream)... and was remembering I part enjoyed it... and was partly dreading how long it was. Then I tried to stop that thought and thought... just focus on each moment and enjoy it. Then I went off the path a bit adn there were all these tree branches etc. I thought.. the car can't make it down here, I must not go this way normally. I explored a little. There were these strange orchids that had pod feet that you could stick to any surface and they would grow. They were quite pretty. Then some strange alligators and man eating fish that were about the size of an oblong Frisbee. I turned to leave. Then I was in a house and clearing out the rest of my stuff. Odds n Ends like at the end of a move, but it was where someone else lived as well. I found some things I thought I had lost. I could tell the person was anxious for me to get my stuff finally and get moving. I told him about the fish and he shrugged and said.. those things are everywhere.

space ship, acorn hunting, train and song...

I was in the area where all of the spaceships were.. (little fighter ones)... I realized the bad guys had secretly infiltrated out troops as our troops.. I knew I had to run into one of the ships and start blowing up all of our ships. Normally I think I would have checked in with people... , gotten their backup, feedback, support, confirmation etc... but I knew I had to just do it and deal with the ramifications. So I got in the ship and started spinning it in circles and shooting everything.

- - - -

I was shopping with my friend Matt for my friend Penny's birthday. I saw an acorn that was sparkly and white and wanted to get her that one.. then I saw a bronze one .. then some christmas decor. My friend Matt saw what I picked out and he wanted to give her the white one.. he was upset that I had picked it out.. I shrugged and said well there is also the bronze one and the xmas decor?? But you can have the white one if you like..

 - - -

I was on the train with a lot of people on some journey... It was kind of an open train. Not much seating, big windows and open air in some places. Also a bar along the windows so you can stand there. We went by a train going in the opposite direction. There was a circus/carnival type group on it and the cars had no walls... they saw us coming so as we rode by each other, they performed for us. We all yelled out thank you soooo much...

  - - - -

woke up with this Styx song today

Lady lyrics

Lady, when you’re with me I’m smiling
Give me all your love
Your hands build me up when I’m sinking
Just touch me and my troubles all fade
Lady, from the moment I saw you
Standing all alone
You gave all the love that I needed
So shy, like a child who has grown

You’re my lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my lady

Lady, turns me on when I’m lonely
Show me all your charm
Evenings when she lays down beside me
Just take me gently into your arms

Your my lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my lady

Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my ... lady

french toast ear muffs

working at a job
gym
wrong gym.. couldn't find cardio.. although had just been doing lunges on a treadmill, but there was supposed to be another floor. Left the gym and was in a large complex of white buildings with bridges to each other and was looking for the other gym floor (maybe to change clothes or something).

I had some baby twins (not mine). We were walking by this cartoony looking building. I think it was supposed to be an advertisement for milk etc. There was some person looking out a window dressed in a plush cow costume. I had already got the twins some free plush cows. Then there was some large lady with french toast ear muffs. I said... could they get some of those? She was all rhyming with her answer, but more or less saying no. But she gave me some other things. The twins were holding on to them and we had to get back. Then these other little kids and mother started coming after us. They wanted our goods. Now, instead of a building, we were outside. I was running down narrow trails with sticklery branches trying to get myself and the twins away from these little monsters (no real monsters... the kids). So I saw we were running on ice, so I ran and jumped on my hind end to see if we could slide faster down the trail. Then we were in a big line of people. It was like I was in some sort of game, but a real life one. We all had to go through these trials and tests to get out. I was with someone else. I guess he was part of our group. He did this really hard test. Jumping from one pipe to another... having to disarm anther pipe by hitting it with a rock. and then he was gone. I thought he did that for our "team.".... I was thinking... am I supposed to do this while carrying twins??? NO way. I then saw him running in the line to meet up with someone he knew (I was far away but could see him I guess for the story's sake). He ran to find his buddy in line who was submerged in mud. They all were... in the line to leave. He was excited saying he got out. His buddy said "and where are the rest of them?" He replied, "Still back there." He yelled at him saying we were supposed to do it together etc. Then all of a sudden (no joke) That dog from that movie (can't remember) but very large dog that could fly... realized the news and was angry.. was in the air... he looked much older now and scraggly. I think he was coming to get mad at the guy... but then to come save us. And I felt better. ;)

learning to read...

Initially there was a dream with a woman in it. It seemed to be the early 1900s...

Then I was with an exbf. We were in bed talking. I had a wine glass in my hand that had held grapefruit juice. He was telling me someone was coming over.. I was thinking... shouldn't you leave? you are married. I sneezed and the glass shook. The liquid had formed a pattern that was kind of interested. I was looking at it and wanted him to see it. Then I said.. isn't it strange how this grapefruit juice almost looks like milk? It was milky pink. He said.. It's the resin.

Then I was in a room with some guys. We were working on some project or something? One (a guy I went to highschool with) was all worried about learning to read or learn a language or something. He picked a subject that he wasn't fond of to learn with and he was struggling. I said....I think it would be helpful if you picked something you were excited or passionate about to learn what you need to learn. You would be more enthused to learn the words etc.

shoppping and scary loft and mands

I was shopping with my family at some special warehouse sale. My step mom wanted to buy a game. it was a dvd that was a historical movie but it was a game. You had to look for clues in the movie... could be the words, could be pictures... or could be if images would create a symbol .. (like if you blurred your eyes... you would see that the people in the film created the shape of a cross or something although not meaning to for the story).....

---

then had a dream that my friend sascha wanted to video cam.... he turned it on ,but forgot.. so I saw him and his girlfriend in ways I shouldn't... her flirting and so on.... I felt very uncomfortable... then I saw where I was living... a loft in an old building but there were skeletons etc.. carved out of wood as the beams of the roof.. was very scary. I needed to concentrate on other things...

---

I was sitting with a guy I went to highschool with... He had thought I was having a conversation with someone regarding how well a guy is endowed. The guy had a small frame and tiny hands. I wanted to dispute the idea of the size of the hands vs.... etc.  So he said... Mands (man's hands put together) really can be all sizes and so on... I just thought it was funny his use of the word "mands."  Then I was recalling a dream in the dream. I had been kissing someone and it felt sooo real. Was strange. Then I went into my bfs (this guy I have no idea who he is)... room. I noticed he had video taped me while dreaming and I was  actually making faces like I was kissing someone :-s... and then I noticed he had copied my journals and notes and so on and went through all of my things. I think I was so upset and disappointed that I was beyond getting mad somehow. It was as if my feelings just went to not being upset to feeling empathy for him wondering how he must feel to do such a thing.

France and Metal bugs

First I was in France but with a schoolmate that was from first grade. She was all grown up now and had lived in France a while and was kind of showing me the ropes. We were in a college and then a cafeteria, then taking a bus and then off the bus again jumping off (the buses would only slow down, not stop). And then and then and then...

Then I was asked to be in a movie or something. I was with a crew of people. We were on location outside. There were cameras, costumes, etc. I really don't know what character I was, just that they pulled me in. I think there was something secret I knew... oh... This guy was dieing. He was the old king or something.... one big eye, one small, yellowed and browned teeth that were long like an old rabbit's, bald, a hunch back... etc.. but he was the power. He just died and the mother is frantic, telling her son he is the power now, but the only way he can do it is to fake being the father. So she has an elaborate costume for him to wear.... It felt horrible because he would be spending his life being this hideous creature.... just for power. Then I was late to the meeting of sorts and all of the other actors were sitting there. I took out my notes (it was kind of like a class) and was hoping I had everything. It seems I did, and was ahead of the class and doing fine. I looked across the room and there was the son walking by, as the father. There were interactions with the other students, friendly ones and then we had to go. Then I was in the agency office. They said my work was done now. I'm not sure I really did anything. I felt like they decided they didn't like me. They said their top stylist was going to cut my hair. I was kind of excited. She would lift my hair up.. and as it fell, cut. Somehow it would fall perfectly cut and then dry and curl ... pretty nice.

Then I had a dream I was watching this story on a man getting old.... written by his son (last night I was browsing a site like this). Then if I went backwards in the photos, it showed the son from youth. I then saw him as a baby and black and white photos of him being born out of the earth (the parents were creatives). They had shown him coming out of some soil, feet first on gravel. I thought... how funny, that must have been way back when, when they thought babies came out head first, but then... why would they say that if they knew better??  Then the baby was alive and I was holding it (kind of a chunk) and I was taking care of two other children. :-s The baby and I were playing though... I dusted off the pebbles but then I realized they would crawl back on. They pebbles were insects, but the insects where metal letters from an old typewriter ball. They were crawling at his face and I was quicky brushing them off. Then we walked away and then this little bird thing jumped on my skin and dug in. But it wasn't a bird thing, it was a little metal thing clamping on to my skin. I took it off and tried to kill it. Then it came back on to the baby. I did it again and it was gone. Then we went to go see the other children. They were there (thank god) and playing with other kids. I had looked at the a baby and it had pock marks. I thought.. interested, since as an adult he has pock marks too.

swimming in the river and old wise-ish man

My first dream is vague-ish, but going along the theme of a guy in my dream. I think initially I was driving a motorcycle up some muddy path. Myself and some friends were heading to some docks. Before this we were "opening" easter baskets or something like it. There were little kids etc. and checking to see who was happy with what. I think I remember some sort of stickers or something...??? Back to the muddy path... we got to the water , just my guy friend and we were trying to choose which boat or raft to go in, and I was so eager to get in, I just jumped in the water. It felt so good too. It was the perfect temperature. He and I could almost float down the river on our own, with nothing underneath us and it went pretty fast. It was fun. Then we ended up with everyone else. My dad and step-mom were there and her extended family (which is huge). They were all deciding when to get in the water, what to do, lots of talking and not a lot of decision making.

I was in this room and sitting at a table. First I was going through papers. I think I was working and stamping them with dates. The woman in front of me was doing the same thing, but she was a bit slower. She was also not recycling the envelopes and so on. So I took her pile and finished it too. Then I realized with a gasp that I had been using the wrong stamp. It said complete. I was panicked, I wasn't sure if they were completed or not. Then at one point it felt ok and I moved on. Then I was in the same room at a larger table. People were working on some sort of project. It was an assignment of sorts and it seems there was a "right" way to do it, but it was a creative assignment. There were beads, shells, glue, images, other little pieces of this and that and we were all supposed to make a sculpture of sorts on a board. There was an old man there... long white hair, long white beard, old, you could tell he was supposed to be wise. But in my dream I didn't agree with where he was going with the project. I thought sure, at one time that was the truth... but my gut was telling me that the truth has altered now and although I could have done the project exactly how he wanted to play nice nice and appease, I just couldn't do it. So I took my things and started making it how I thought it should be. It felt better. He saw what I was doing and tried to talk to me about it. I knew part of him was disappointed, but part also knew he had to let go and he was moving on. My feeling about what I was doing wasn't complete though. I knew it shouldn't be what was expected, but I only could feel pieces of how it should be. He came over to inspect what I was doing and I just wanted to hide everything. I felt exposed and frustrated that I couldn't explain with words what I was feeling and trying to accomplish. At this point the subject of the project was no longer a board only, but a video and way of living. I started crying saying.... I just can't do all of this. I feel I have to be so perfect and eat organic and know how to live perfectly and I can't eat only organic and live only the good way (huh? ) etc. etc.... and he told me... it is ok, because it isn't time for that yet. I don't have to be that person yet...

water torture and roommates

One dream I was living with two other people. One guy had his own room with a door, the other girl and I were in the next section. We both had bunk beds. I tried to angle mine so I could have more space and she angled her's for more privacy....

Then I had a dream that these prisoners were about to be tortured. There was a large helicopter ... the men were tied to some posts next to it. Then I guy would through a large bucket of water on the blades while they where going. I could see the water coming off of the blades in slow motion ... they looked like bbs. They would hit the men and their skin would be bruised and would break.

game show and magic box

I had a dream I was watching a game show... it was called "What I did while in the waiting room..." The hosts or questioners were prostitutes and they would ask questions to the men on what they were thinking/doing while waiting for their turn. Kind of odd....

Then I had a dream I was supposed to go to another?? dimension.. I was thinking.. noooo that isn't possible, but then I realized if I thought that... then it for sure wouldn't be possible. This old man (long white hair etc.) said.... just get in the box... think of being there, feel like you are there. At that moment I could feel my legs tingling, less tingle and more vibratey... like I had a bunch of bees buzzing on my legs. I told him because I was excited.. then I get the kind of high feeling and then poof... I was in another dimension... I was back in time (or not), but there was a castle and horses and so on. Before I was in the other dimension he told me what my purpose was... can't remember now.

men, men and men

Maybe because it is spring??

Each night I have dream and it includes a guy... new guy each time... completely different look to each one and different style of person. And I don't know any of them.... all new faces...

one i was at a carnival .... visiting one of the workers in his trailer - kissed him (really felt like I was there).. dark short brown hair

another I was moving in to a very large loft with these women (very cool large loft)... and my?? guy was there... kind of a surfer type

another?? not sure of the circumstances... tall, black hair, almost shaved head etc...

another.. a guy in a stocking cap... youngish, large nose...

in each of these, they were my boyfriend type...  all pleasant dreams...

red rain

I have had misc. dreams but they are *poof* gone when I wake up....

Last night was dreaming me and some people were all packing up to leave. The land was going to be destroyed some how and we were heading for some islands. One woman was yelling saying that if we go to the islands we will be stuck due to limited resources and we should find another mainland to go to. I was packing my things and ... seems a lot of people were gone. I was taking care of the last minute items while others were moving. Outside it was raining tiny red gravel and it was very dusty. A guy came in to see if I needed help. He was nice but I told him to go help that lady... she needed it more. Then I saw people driving up to the house/building.... Some older guy wanted lumber. I had never worked the lumber area and looked at the others to see if this was ok.. they nodded 'go for it.' So I went to go help the guy but then something else happened or someone else took over.. as much as it was a catastrophic type dream, it kept feeling nice... people helping each other and looking out for each other.

photos, wedding, new office....

First a friend of mine was going to be taking photos in the city. I was there before he was and it had just rained, was all shiny and there were lots of buildings with windows and reflective surfaces, sparkling lights etc. I was excited for him because he likes this kind of photography and he would have so many good shots and I knew that they would be good.

* * *

I was getting ready for a friend's wedding. She had about 3 of us in it and her sister (the maid of honor) was going to be late. We all flew in to the country where she was getting married, so we were all in a festive fun mood. I was trying on the special slips that went under the dress, but the one I ordered was too big, so I needed to get another. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure where to find this kind of slip in this country with so little time left. We were all in a cab headed for where the bride was staying. They were having coffee in the kitchen and I remember a red toaster. She was in very good spirits. She had a strapless dress, in cream silk, that criss crossed at the bodice and then was somewhat full below with various folds.

* * *

I was back with an old company I used to work for. It started out that we were doing an event in a tropical country, but then it was that we were opening a new office there. I was in a huge suite at a very nice hotel. I was gone for a couple of days, and when I came back, all of these young kids (highschool to just in college) were in the place and had made a huge mess. They had heard it was going to be empty, so broke in. They had food all over the ground trailing to a back room in the suite. They all got up and started leaving... I said listen.. I don't have a job (reality popping in my dream), so it is not like I can afford this mess you created. Then I looked over at the liquor cabinet. It looked like a large nice china cabinet, glass encased, but bottles of very expensive liquor. They had opened most of the bottles and some were down to half empty. I would be charged for this too. Ugh...I grabbed one of them and said .. Give me your phone number! She was youngish, with long brown straight hair. She was scared and almost to tears. She gave me a number and then I said .. Now I'm going to test it. She looked even more scared... as if she gave me a false number. No one answered. Then I asked for her information. I let her know she wasn't going to get in trouble, I just needed someone to be witness that someone had broken in and that I wasn't responsible for the mess.  Then I realized the office was meeting in my room that morning. I started calling for a maid, but then I see someone else did and the suite was filled with workers, desks and so on. It felt awful. Being stuck with the pushy manage, the yes men office people, the ..... rest of the office types.  I so didn't fit. It was so much work to be around these people, that it took focus off of my work. I had to go for something outside of the room with some others. A class or a retreat or an errand?? We drove around the island. We were looking out over the edge of the road. It was pretty there, but we weren't going to be able to enjoy any of it. We had deadlines to meet, suits to wear, masks to put on for clients. Why did they all look like they were enjoying themselves? Like why would you want to go down to the water?  Isn't it great being a XX executive? We had to go back to the main office and we were wondering how. I knew it was going back half way around the island, but with the many people not being able to listen. We didn't get far...

movie, spaceship, flying late

Catching up.....
___________
I was walking to a movie. Others seemed to be too. I then was walking or riding a bicycle and a guy that I knew was next to me. He had dark short wavy hair and seemed funny and I liked him. On the walk I find out he likes me too. We go to the movie together and sit together, then the movie is over. As we walk out I get this urgency feeling. I need to go get this bag. It is in the lobby. Something feels sneaky about it. I either don't want anyone to know what I'm doing because I'm afraid they will take the contents, ask me questions about it, or maybe what I'm doing is wrong. I'm not sure. This bag ends up being a big plastic bag and it is between racks of resale clothing. I dig through it and see baseball cards. I think... Jack will like these, I will save them for Jack. I know there is something worth something in the bag, but never find out what it is because I am in such a rush and still trying to hide it at the same time. I think realize I left my black wool coat somewhere. I'm a little frantic because it has all of my money in it as well as my passport, keys and phone. At that point I'm more worried about how I will contact that guy again than I am the money or the keys. An old black man that is the janitor/security guy at the theater asks me if he can help. He finds my coat and I'm relieved, but then anxious again. Not for what I have but for my actions. I feel bad with my secrecy and this bag I'm holding. And that I almost lost something important (this guy I liked), due to this need for the bag.

* * *
I'm riding in a spaceship. There is a captain (an attractive strong black woman dressed in almost late 80s business attire) and her side guy. A tall young thin fella who is a little quirky but nice. We are flying fast over the earth (but close over the earth). Either through floor screens or maybe the floor is translucent in places, we can see the ground skimming fast below us. The captain has to leave and wants me to take over the "driving." I am new and need to get used to this. You fly it partly by hand control, but otherwise by clearing your mind and letting it flow. You sort of think of where you are going, but kind of as hard as you have to think when you are jogging, you just do it. We start flying over Holland... I just miss hitting some windmills (the modern kind that are very tall) and I'm feeling a little uneasy about my flying skills... Then we fly over Denmark (lots of water etc.) Then there is a large city with a low center. Kind of a park in the middle of the city, but it has a stadium, museums etc. with large flat green areas inbetween. The people are all gathering. I am not sure if something good is happening or something bad. We hover there for a bit and then we fly again. I'm told we are seeking out a the white dragon. In my mind of course I'm thinking... for real? you kidding?  but I know they mean it.

* * *
I am out with a friend. We are driving around. I think we are meeting friends for cocktails or something. Then we are at some sort of convention at a hotel. I have a boyfriend. A larger fella with short dark hair, casual business type attire. I really like him and visa versa. He is driving me now and we are in a flashy futuristic car. I think we are looking for some food to eat. Then my girlfriend and I are in a fast food place. I say I really want mexican food and she says.... hello! we are in taco bell!  I say.... Ohh... yeah.. but I want a mexi-pizza.... which in the dream is at some other fast food joint. They are ordering and I can't decide what I want. I say... you know, my problem is I don't eat and then wait until I'm really hungry and then can't make a decision or make poor decisions. Then all of a sudden I need to get to the airport. My boyfriend is someplace else and he bought me a ticket that leaves in two hours. The problem is, my suitcase is at my friend Penny's which is 30 minutes away. I say I really don't need the clothes, but I want my toiletries at least. We rush around, not sure if I really get the suitcase or toiletries but then I'm outside the nice hotel again. I'm anxious to go to the airport, but then a woman drives up with a white airplane. It is small, old-fashioned, yet modern. It is as if they took an old Bugatti and fashioned it into an airplane (really cute). An old man says he can fly me and not to worry so much about time. We'll get there faster without all of the check-in/security/etc. routine.  He is a nice old man and feels father or grandfather like. I relax.

circus queen

I was in some strange place. I felt like I was just finishing up with some biz related conference, but it had a circus feel and they were starting to tear down the tents. They were blow up tents and we walked on two tone blue blow up fields. The rows of the fields were alternating tubes of light and dark blue. I was walking towards one yellow tent that was still up and had lights on. When I went in, it was more like a circus and they were having a joust or mini ?? team fight of sorts. I was on one team and it felt kind of light, I had no fear and it was easy. I ended up killing the other team's queen or it was our's, I'm not sure. I was worried at first that everyone would be mad at me, but they all cheered me and I was the next queen.

little restaurant

I was getting flea bomb for my house. I went to one store... it was closing, then the next, it was closing. Then went to the last store to see if they had a flea bomb. I didn't see anything I was familiar with on this wall of dog shampoos etc. This girl I was with said Oh.. I always use this one. She was a coworker, nice friendly, and dressed in navy. I said I wasn't sure that was flea bomb... I'm used to the little can. Then a clerk came over and asked what I needed. I said... well, my dog is not at my place, so I thought it would be a good time to bomb the house. He said this is what we have... and showed me two options, and then said but I prefer this one. And he showed me this spray bottle that he would spray over something else that would make a mist. He said it is also better for the environment and the dog. I said I would take it. All of my friends were behind me either sitting or? It was almost like we were at a bar now. I went to the counter to pay. The clerk had reddish hair, a beard, a little scruffy, like a young urban hippy. He was very nice and laid back. He told me $6 something an I handed him some money. I saw that I accidentally gave him a $2 bill I wanted to keep and asked for it back politely and he said.. here ya go, and you might want to keep these too. He handed over a couple of slips of special paper. I forgot I had had them and had ignored them. I read the one saying it was a contest with the ability to win $100. I thought.. you are right... I'll keep these, thanks!... Then I read the next slip and it said I won $1. And I thought that was kind of a nice surprise. Then he said... oh and this one and he handed me another slip and I had one $500.  I was so happy about the nice surprise I got up on a stool so I could lean over the counter and kissed him and screamed to the whole room.  Later I was home and writing an email to a friend from DC. I was sitting on the floor with my laptop and it had a webcam. I started writing but then realized I needed to delete the auto pic it took because I had nothing on and he could see everything. When I double clicked it sent the mail. UGH. I went to see if it really sent... and then I immediately sent him an email apologizing and saying that it was an accident.. He said no worries and that was that. It didn't have to be a big deal.

Next dream
I was with some people and looked at this place.. it was all near the same area as the previous dream. This guy was saying this little restaurant was for sale. It was a little place I had always liked. It was tiny, with a little bar and in an older building. Actually most of it was bar with seating around the edges, but it seemed to always be packed. I ended up buying the place. I was a little nervous because of the risk. It was 15k, a great deal, so I thought... I should really give it a try. I came over to it although the deal wasn't formally closed yet. This friend of mine, old south american man (not a real guy in my life, but always someone I respected), was showing me the place. He walked me in... I looked around and then thought.. I should really stay outside until it is closed. I went out and there was a swimming pool. I sat at a table with my friend and talked. Maybe about that I was nervous, maybe him telling me things... It felt comforting what ever it was. Then I saw a guy walking up the way. He was a guy I had sat next to in 6th grade. I had a crush on him back then. He looked really old now and balding. I thought that I would get in the water and he could talk to my friend. I hadn't seen him since junior high. I was in the water along with a vw bug.. although it seemed to be more of a blow up car, but I guess it was mine and I wanted to hold on to it. They continued to talk and I was hoping he would recognize me or say something, but he didn't. I finally got out of the water and said hello, he still just wanted to talk to my friend. So I got dressed and finally my friend and I went into the restaurant. It was about to close and people were leaving. I guess they normally closed at 11p.m. As people trickled out I looked at the bar and equipment and immediately started thinking of what I would change... Do I want to get rid of the blended drinks so these old blenders are not taking up space... or are these some of the clients' favorites? I would have to see. I was excited to find out though. I saw some of the dishwasher's leave, and then an asian lady come to do the night cleaning. I went to put my things in a back room and thought I should change clothes to not get dirty, but all of my things felt tight. I hung them in this ?? not used closet that was really dirty and had a bag of chocolates. Was this why the clothes were tight? Then my friend came and said.. come see your kitchen and the back room, but don't hit your head, the ceilings are low. I said I should be fine... and with the restaurant too.. it has made it this long... and then he gave me a look of... don't be so sure... He was then in chefs clothes and I realized he had worked there and really knew the business. I was about to get mad at him and then he motioned for me to see the staff. The bar man that was sweet but probably couldn't get a job anywhere else, the little old chinese cleaning lady, the guys in the back... I could feel what he was saying with his hands. You are not taking on this business to make money, you are taking on this business to take care of this family here that started in this place. I then felt ashamed of myself for thinking of the the amount of $ .. Like $ would do anything for me, for my life... it was keeping these people together and safe that was more important.

baby cocoon

 I was in a home with these people I didn't know, but in a way they were my family. There was a baby and they had him in a box. I went to pick him up... it was like he was a hmm I don't know how I got this idea, but he was in a garment/blanket that was like a bag.. but had hmm think of a flower that droops.. so the stem is at the top of the flower.. and then flower hangs down... so he was in something like that.... opened the garment and he was saying too light.. I could see him wince every time some light got on him and so I covered him back up. He was a moth baby (not sure where that came from but it was in the dream).  I think moth's generally like light. ;)  So I asked him if he wanted to be hung (by the top of the bag thing he was in)... I did it for a while.. then he started talking and talking. We went over to a quiet place (HUGE house) and it was up some stairs but we could look down into a big white room. There was a lecture going on about some large art pieces in the room. I can't remember what they looked like now. The boy and I just kept having  a nice time (no longer a baby... he was small but could talk). I was thinking about him and wondered how he was doing now that he didn't have his cocoon around him. He seemed fine. We left that place and back to the main house. The family reminded me to get my boxes (I guess I received a present and it was in the boxes). I think I liked the boxes better than the present. They were black wood and very nice. So the boy and I kept talking. He was intelligent and I was thinking we had a special bond. He didn't open up to his family like this or anyone else and I enjoyed his company too. It was that feeling when you are totally comfortable around someone. 

a house

I was in a store with my exbf michael. I owed him some money or something. It was uncomfortable to be around him. He didn't want to be around me and didn't like me. He was picking out something I could buy him to replace the money I owed him. He was looking at a watch and then this special golfing glove. I only owed him about 20 and this would all cost 45 to 50. I wanted to say no due to the price, but then I felt cheap.

Then I am in a place and moving and packing. I was stuffing foam and bubble wrap in a bag to throw away, but then decided I might need it for packing. Then a friend stopped by (he is in Hamburg, but was living in portland). He was asking what was up and I told him moving. He had his computer and I think wanted to use my internet. I just wanted to get on with packing...
Then in this same house, I worked there. I would let these old ladies in for seminar type things. There were also children playing in the backyard. They ladies would come in and sit around the couch. I ordered catering and this horrible food came. It was all kind of blah and brown and white. I helped one old lady sit down and she scolded me for not helping her in the door last time. She said you just opened the door and left. I apologized, but also remembered it was a day when the phones were ringing off the hook. Someone else backed me on my story.

Then I was having a garage sale of sorts. First I was going through my closet and realized I had a lot of clothes I had forgot about and not even worn. One was a kelly green dress with black ribbon accents, the a yellow and white dress that was kind of fluffy and cute, and on and on... all seeming from the 50s or 40s, but new (anthropologie like)... I was kind of excited, like finding treasures. Then we were also selling things. Kind of having an indoor garage sale, but then later it felt like just moving stuff out of the house to clean or paint. People were walking through the house and this guy (looked like colin firth, but was dressed kind of young artsy). I saw him and thought he was cute, but I knew we were not each other's types. Not sure why I thought this. Maybe a gut reaction because if he was cute, it would be better if I thought we were not each other's types to save me the trouble of getting rejected. He walked through the house, finding nothing interesting and then left. I continued putting things out on the front lawn with my dad (who in my dream was homer simpson). Then Colin came walking back on his way back. He looked right to my eyes and tried to make eye contact and I looked away and then back up and then away. I walked in the house. The attention was too much for me to know what to do with. I started packing up other things and two boys (family friends or neighbor boys) came running in. He asked us to ask you if you would like to go to dinner. I was so excited and happy as well as making fun that he didn't ask me himself. Then I wrote on a paper yes. For some reason I couldn't write well, but I didn't care. So then we are together, this Colin person and I. We are happy, kissing, driving around and so on. At one point I'm driving this odd car and something happens, he is leaning to one side making it tilt or?? but the car gets dented up and I'm not happy about it.

Then I'm in a class, lots of people . art type class. We all really like each other and enjoy the class. We are supposed to take a test, and I am excited to take it. But everyone has a test but me. I find the instructor and they ask around for one, but can't find one. There is a huge copy machine and Im thinking.. can't you just copy someone else's test? But I figure she has a reason and her own solution, so let her wonder around and think of one. She finally decides that I should do the test with someone. She tells the story and asks who can take the test with me (mind you in this classroom, there are no desks, no chairs. Half the room is supplies, easels, large counter, piles of paper and so on... the rest, we are all sitting on the floor.  She is still asking around to people if someone could share a test with me. In the mean time I see this native american type girl that is also a teacher. I see Pattumma (my brother's wife) and she is the one that gave Pattumma a test and is getting her a job. She passed (she recently took a test). Then the first lady is talking to some immagrants from? they are black but speak some type of island language. They are telling a story.. showing the birth of a baby and then the little girl continues the story. She starts talking in a strong, very low voiced new zealand accent on how she was ugly and always wanted to commit suicide because she didn't fit in, she wasn't pretty and so on... then the mother is trying to tell the story but her in native language, she is crying because she is so happy about her daughter.. she was in a disco and found music.. and it made her daughter so happy she was dancing adn dancing and pretty didn't matter anymore.. and it was silly to want to die when she could have this