split cross

I dreamt that I was at a retreat thing. There were different activities you had to do.... meditation? A post where you went and said things? or maybe gave a message or?? and a dark room ? and finally an end ceremony thing where you cover yourself in a white mud?? I was near the mud, but I hadn't done the rest of the activities, so I had to sign up and come back.. It had to be done at the end

I saw a large cross that split down the middle.. they say when this happens it is good. It was like a rare thing and an omen. Someone said it symbolizes the splitting of the penis which symbolizes manhood or masculinity? Not sure what they meant. I asked if there is a girl version of this (it being a women's retreat) or if it meant something for a woman? is the penis splitting universal?  Then I helped a lady at the post.. well she cut in first and I bumped her shoulder to let her know she took cuts. She noticed what she was doing and said ..oh you go first... I immediately felt better. All I needed was the acknowledgment. I let her go first.

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I dreamt that I was at a place downtown... I was living there or looking for a living space. I think I rented a trailor on the street (which was kind of normal in the dream).  I thought it was a decent location (safe), large enough for me, close to a grocery store, so it was good. Other people were doing similar and/or my place might even be better. I think I went grocery shopping. I felt like a girl in college, when you get your first feeling of independance. It felt fun and freeing. The whole world is your oyster sort of thing. Then I was on a date? It was almost as if I was reliving an old time.. Either watching someone else's story or getting another chance at mine.

There was a guy... a Richie Cunningham type. Very sweet... we were getting along great. He was flirty. In the dream it was as if I was rooting for the girl... but the girl was me...or not me not sure..and she had something open, an application and was filling it out hoping he would see that her info was there and it would spur him to ask for her number. He realize he has to go and then never asked... It felt like they wouldn't meet again.

Then I'm at my mom's.  We are trying to have a nice time. I brought over a movie, a nice happy feel good one. We are watching and things are going good. Then she mentions something... a thing she doesn't need to, that she knows bothers me, that she knows I've asked her several times not to, that she does on purpose to bother me.  I flip out. I take the movie out of the dvd player, put it in the case, walk to the fridge (was I living there?), started packing up my food... all of it that is mine. She is upset that I'm leaving and I just don't care anymore. I pack up some cottage cheese, but the cats seem to want it, so I leave it for them. I pack up tuna cans, which she seemed to have hidden in the back. She picks up lemons that I had... she looks at them as if they are bad and put them in the fridge. I look at them.. I said there is nothing wrong with them. Why would I not want my lemons??? She was trying to take what she might have wanted. There was a box of cream cheese. I toss it thinking... I don't need it anyway.. then thought.. what if i do? and took that too..I was infuriated. I didn't want things to turn out like this, but I also couldn't take it anymore.