I dreamt that I was in a house. It felt like the farm house my dad had when I was little, but more modern. It was dark out and the house felt empty, not just of people, but of light, furniture, sheet rock, and so on. I could see a man in the back field. He was skinny, naked and old with a balding top and long white beard. It was what you might think father time would look like with a bit of a hunch back. He was coming towards the house, coming for something in the house. I don't know if it was for me, for money, for food, but it felt terrifying. The windows were just big square cut outs in the siding, so there was nothing I could do but run or hide. I was looking for where I could run to, but then it felt like another man was coming from the other side. This one was younger, 30s, and dressed in dark close. He also felt like not a good man.
When I think about the old man now, he felt like details, worries, like they are maggots that eat at your life. The house felt like something that we think can protect us, but is just an illusion.
The younger man, he felt like "now," maybe still dark or scary, but much easier to deal with.
------
I dreamt that I was on a train. It was strange, some part of the ride you are in tiny half beds. Half, meaning the length, not the width. So you were all curled up uncomfortably. Next I was able to sleep in a "normal" bed, normally it would be considered uncomfortable, but after the half bed, it felt so nice and like luxury. I felt they almost did this on purpose so that you would enjoy it more. I really didn't care, it just felt good.
The train felt like change, like a new world was about to reveal itself. The half bed felt like self imposed struggle and then the normal bed felt like letting go.
-----
I dreamt that I was out with some friends or something. It started that I was near my home I grew up in in FG. I lived a block away from a park. A friend of mine (ASh) and I were hungry, so we decided to order take-out Chinese. I thought I remembered where the place was, but didn't. We saw some guys, or they saw us, so one of us asked them where it was. They said they would take us, but I didn't have a good feeling about them. They felt like trouble makers. While she was talking to them, I looked up the address on my phone. I saw it mapped out and remembered where it was then and talked her into ignoring they guys.
Then I was at the house in FG. I was there house sitting or?? and with some other people that I didn't know. They were hipster/punk/?? types... and they wanted to go drive around. I took them over to a house. I think one of them lived there and needed something. It was a house where my exboyfriend (BW) was going to be. They went in... got some things, we talked to some of the people we hadn't seen. It actually felt nice, but then we had to go. I guess my friends took the car, so I went with my ex and his house mates and friend in a big Scooby Doo style van. I had to sit kind of squished up against my ex. It was a little awkward at first because we hadn't seen each other in a while, but then he was nice. It felt nice. I missed him. I realized that I really needed to get back to the house in FG before people came back so that I could make sure it was ok.
My friend (ASh) felt like doubt or the need to attach to someone or something to make it... training wheels, when you don't need them. Taking you where you might not want to go and awkwardly.
The Chinese food activity felt like something to do... something to fill time, so not to feel like I'm missing something.
They guys felt like where I didn't want to go, the evidence of not trusting my gut.
The house in FG felt like old attachments, old ways, old responsibilities that keep my mind tied down.
The friends felt like...nice... they felt like something I would normally not do, but when I let go and did spend time with them, it was positive, nice, ....living.
The other house felt scary.... heart scary, facing something that is uncomfortable.
Then BW, he felt like the thing scary to face, but the fear was all in me, not real, and then was nice when I let go.
When I think about the old man now, he felt like details, worries, like they are maggots that eat at your life. The house felt like something that we think can protect us, but is just an illusion.
The younger man, he felt like "now," maybe still dark or scary, but much easier to deal with.
------
I dreamt that I was on a train. It was strange, some part of the ride you are in tiny half beds. Half, meaning the length, not the width. So you were all curled up uncomfortably. Next I was able to sleep in a "normal" bed, normally it would be considered uncomfortable, but after the half bed, it felt so nice and like luxury. I felt they almost did this on purpose so that you would enjoy it more. I really didn't care, it just felt good.
The train felt like change, like a new world was about to reveal itself. The half bed felt like self imposed struggle and then the normal bed felt like letting go.
-----
I dreamt that I was out with some friends or something. It started that I was near my home I grew up in in FG. I lived a block away from a park. A friend of mine (ASh) and I were hungry, so we decided to order take-out Chinese. I thought I remembered where the place was, but didn't. We saw some guys, or they saw us, so one of us asked them where it was. They said they would take us, but I didn't have a good feeling about them. They felt like trouble makers. While she was talking to them, I looked up the address on my phone. I saw it mapped out and remembered where it was then and talked her into ignoring they guys.
Then I was at the house in FG. I was there house sitting or?? and with some other people that I didn't know. They were hipster/punk/?? types... and they wanted to go drive around. I took them over to a house. I think one of them lived there and needed something. It was a house where my exboyfriend (BW) was going to be. They went in... got some things, we talked to some of the people we hadn't seen. It actually felt nice, but then we had to go. I guess my friends took the car, so I went with my ex and his house mates and friend in a big Scooby Doo style van. I had to sit kind of squished up against my ex. It was a little awkward at first because we hadn't seen each other in a while, but then he was nice. It felt nice. I missed him. I realized that I really needed to get back to the house in FG before people came back so that I could make sure it was ok.
My friend (ASh) felt like doubt or the need to attach to someone or something to make it... training wheels, when you don't need them. Taking you where you might not want to go and awkwardly.
The Chinese food activity felt like something to do... something to fill time, so not to feel like I'm missing something.
They guys felt like where I didn't want to go, the evidence of not trusting my gut.
The house in FG felt like old attachments, old ways, old responsibilities that keep my mind tied down.
The friends felt like...nice... they felt like something I would normally not do, but when I let go and did spend time with them, it was positive, nice, ....living.
The other house felt scary.... heart scary, facing something that is uncomfortable.
Then BW, he felt like the thing scary to face, but the fear was all in me, not real, and then was nice when I let go.
No comments:
Post a Comment