stop thinking

I dreamt that I was dreaming... and in my dream I consciously quit thinking about solving a problem, and also remembered not thinking about solving a problem, and when I did that, answers would come, and then I woke up and remembered that yes, to quit thinking of solutions... because it took me away from the answers. So the idea was let it go and the answers will come....

Then I dreamt that my ex BW, said I looked haggy... like a hag.  He wasn't being horrible... and I didn't take it horrible, but I didn't want to be there either.

knees & whooping

I dreamt I had a sore knee. I looked down and it looked like a bug bite. I pushed on it as though it was a soap dispenser and stuff came out.. to the point I had to use a tissue to hold over top. I felt I was helping it heal though, although it actually started looking like a dispenser.

Then I dreamt that someone at work had whooping cough and everyone in the office was getting it.

zimbone

I dreamt that I was at the coast or ?? somewhere familiar that I visit often, but don't live there. I was staying in a hotel for something that others I knew were attending as well. It was time to return and I was going to go get my car. TB was also going home, but needed a ride with some group of people. It was a crowded car, so I suggested she go with me, which actually meant she drive another car and I drive a car, or the group drove a car and she came with me. I went to go get my car, which was newish to me. When I went to pick it up I was surprised that the back had only one wheel, as in being a one wheeled car. At first I was concerned and then the guy goes ... "no... it is a zimbone. Very unique etc. and good for the environment etc. etc."  I took the meaning that it was rare, at the time very ahead of its time being environmental, and so on. My assurance had been restored and I was excited to drive the car home. Although then they said something about that it had been previously owned by the "tea party" and that a certain stigma or tax or something odd would always be stuck with this car, no matter who owned it. I didn't like that what ever it was tagged to the car, even though I think it was a savings of some sort. I didn't like that kind of string.

I realized I didn't pack up everything at the hotel and went back to pack the rest. MT, an ex bf was helping with advice about the car. He looked different. His hair was longer a bit and blond. His new wife had bleached it. He said that his neighbors called him a hippy, but he didn't mind. He looked happy. I thought it was silly for him to be helping me, he should be with his wife.

synch, passage, costume

I dreamt that I was on an airplane but needed to get somewhere else. Two older executive ladies walked by saying they are going where I needed to go.  I thought how wonderfully synchronistic. I rant to catch up and talk to them. They helped me and said they would help me get on their plane.

----

I dreamt that I was witnessing a right of passage of some people. They were young, but had facial hair. Part of the ritual included pigs ... I'm not sure if they killed the pigs, but I knew they were part of the ritual. Some other native men were taking large pieces of aloe plants and scraping their insides. Others were sharpening knives. The handles were made of bone or horns maybe. The ritual included scraping the boys faces from all of their hair, leaving their skin a bit raw, then coating it in the aloe.

----

I was with my friend MB. Several of us needed to be in costumes for some reason. MB and I needed to go prepare. We were driving in the snow and I had to park on a hill. I was hoping my car would be ok and turned the wheel so the car would roll to the curb. MB and I got out to go look for and apply make up, but he needed to use the bathroom first. I was not happy that I had to wait again...

TB was dressed as a fairy, a black man was dressed as a shaman...  We were at an outdoor theater stage. It was all of a sudden filled with dancers and colors.

gold bow bomb, pillow ring

I dreamt that I found a gold bow tie. It felt more rigid than it should and I realized it had a bomb or a trigger for a bomb in it. It looked like a bow that I had from childhood that my parents used as uniforms for their restaurant staff. I knew timing was important... this had just been left and the person was departing the building. I decided to click the trigger. I wanted to stop the person from continuing and I wanted this taken care of once and for all, no more tip toeing, no more red tape, let's just do this. I pushed it and nothing happened. I was partly relieved... glad that no one was hurt, no catastrophe happened; partly confused what was this thing that looked like a bomb? I knew it was one, why didn't it go off? was it the wrong timing? did the person escape? I was working with a team of people that were going to find out. It felt good to belong to this team. We relied on each other and believed in each other...

------

I dreamt that RVB called me. I caught mid way through his sentence that he was looking at rings. He saw one that was a ?? something pillow ring. That it wasn't a diamond, but he things I would like it even more. It was unique, special and had meaning.

car memory

I dreamt that I was on a road trip with RVB. It was exciting to be with him but something made me feel doubts, not sure what exactly. We came to a small European town and were going to find a hotel. We parked. He went to go get keys and so on. I got in the car to move it closer and pushed the wrong button. They car had memory buttons and all of a sudden it started going in a direction. I knew it was to his family, his new baby. I wanted to stop it so it wouldn't go, and I wanted to confront him as he said it wasn't an issue and didn't exist anymore for him. My stomach sunk but at the same time I was glad to find the truth sooner rather than later.

folding

I dreamt that I was in a place with Irish people or maybe leprechauns. They were all normal seeming though and my size. We were gathering things to move, all going about our business, as if we were done with a show like a carnival, and now it was time to move on. Everyone was sweet and good mannered and helpful. I had a duvet cover that I was needing to return and if the item looked opened, you would receive a percentage less. I had opened it and was not happy with the way I had folded it. One of the little old men said he could do it easy. He undid my folding job and went to work on it, but it was much worse than what I had done. I appreciated his help but was stressing out. In the mean time 3 people walked by. It seemed as though they were people that were from my high school that I didn't know well, but I knew they would expect me to say hello. I didn't feel like it.

death

I dreamt that I was with some friends. They were going to another's house for fun, I think we were all younger and still living at home. The friend we were visiting had asked for some specific sports glove that I guess was unique. We went to the guy's house to have fun and somehow someone had shot him and he died. We were all scared and worried, not just due to shooting a friend or murder and jail, but the father of this person was very scary. The one who shot him ran to escape and we all ran. I was worried for him. He probably could have been free of being caught, but he kept on the glove that was the friend's and had been seen with it.

Then it melded to another story, but I was still running and escaping something. I was running through peoples' backyards and gardens and would run into a house, and everyone would already be dead. I knew what made them dead was following my path, although I don't think initially it was following me, I was just in the path. It wasn't personal and I wasn't a target. I wanted to get to a home where they people were still alive so I could warn them and/or have them help me stop this thing. I ran up the stairs of one house and it was a Mexican family.  The thing was coming up the stairs behind me. It looked like a man's physique and like a man, but it wasn't. It's face was dry and it was as if his skull was hollow and dry as well. It spoke words as it came up the stairs as if it was a witch. And the people would start dying with his words. He didn't really have to do anything graphic or awful visually, but it felt awful and evil.

I ran from this home and to the next. I was at Oprah's house of all things. I started making breakfast and though I would stop for a bit and eat. But then I didn't want him to catch me or for me to have to run and then leaving her kitchen a mess, so I started cleaning it. Then I had run again. This time he had cornered me. I picked him up by his legs and banged him against the railing of the stairs, the walls, the furniture... nothing affected him, so I kept running.

I know was in a business district and saw a large one story bank with lots of windows and people. I somehow knew he was headed there. I ran to warn the people as well as hoping they would help somehow to stop him. He was right behind me and as I was warning them he put his hand to a monitor screen... somehow that allowed him access to the whole building through electricity. He started with his chant and I thought it was too late. I ran to the end of the building to another exit and as I did I turned to a customer service guy that was sitting at his computer kiosk and smiling. I tilted my head sideways to him and he looked at me and held up an answer. It was a caricature of him, the kind with the very large head and the small body. The drawing had his jaw show as extremely large so that his lower jaw protruded out past the rest of him. In his mouth were all sorts of things that one shouldn't eat - poisons, toxins, batteries, nails and so on, but he had a big grin. The idea being that he could eat anything and not be harmed by it.  He then took a cord from the computer and put it in his mouth, this all while the evil thing was trying to get to everyone via the currents. He was able to stop him and didn't die and the thing lost its power.

coffee time

I dreamt that I was going to get some coffee and read a book. I was sitting in my car and noticed that a friend of mine was in the building next door (FE). He was doing something with his music equipment maybe??  I didn't expect to see him and it kind of made me want to leave or hide for some reason. I looked in my rear view mirror of my car and put on some mascara... tried not to be obvious to him or passers by. I felt a little foolish. Then I went into the coffee place and sat and started reading. The interior was an older building with what seemed like raw wood that had been aged. A little brown, a little black and a little gray with possibly even some white that had been pain that had been stripped. The floors and the walls were all of this wood and it gave it kind of a cozy and quaint feel, but artsy at the same time. I was the only one in there. My desire to avoid him turned into half anxiety and half excitement. Maybe I did want to see him. I noticed the counter person and realized I needed to get some coffee to be sitting there. She didn't mind. 

robots

I dreamt that I was in a building. It felt partly like a home as the insides were a bit cluttered and casual and the people seemed to treat each other warmly. It seems we were packing to move to another building or something along those lines. I went into a back room that held miscellaneous supplies and computer parts. As I was rustling around, I noticed something move. It was computer bits and wires, they were rebuilding themselves. I thought we had destroyed that program long ago, but it seems they had their own mind now and were going to recreate themselves and then destroy us.  I didn't want it to see that I noticed it, so I walked out casually to the others. I had to go outside and turn up some music, as I was afraid they had devices that would pick up on our conversations. Their thoughts were to run, mine was to destroy the building and everything in it. We had to obliterate it and everything we had in there to ensure this couldn't happen. 

song - this little...

Woke up to this song in my head

This little (light) heart of mine, I'm going to let it shine...   (didn't know the words)

not ready

I dreamt that I was possibly traveling. It is hard to say. I know that I was in an inbetween place on the way to somewhere, and needed to keep my things together. It wasn't a place to unpack and it wasn't a place to do anything in particular. I was there with RVB. He and I were on a trip together. He was very enthused and I was wanting to be enthused. His enthusiasm almost felt like it was only for enthusiasm sake and not for the reasons he would give me (which were he and I being together). Or maybe he believed it, but he didn't know the reality, so that is what made me less than enthused. It didn't feel real. I needed to go to the ladies, so I walked away from him to this room. A friend of mine AS (from a class) was there. She always seemed like such a strong willed personality. Gr was there too (from work). We were taking care of things in our suitcases and milling around. I felt like I was the only one that didn't belong. I was milling for milling's sake. I didn't have something I really wanted to look at, but looked to look busy. I didn't really have a reason to be there, but wanted to see what it is I was "supposed" to be doing like a normal person. I think AS could feel it or was disturbed by what she saw wasn't fitting what she felt. I asked her if she was doing to do anything with her Esthetician's license.  She said yes. I was shocked. She hated it. She said that her son was uncomfortable one day, and so she touched a place on his face, his neck and so on and he felt better. She wanted to use it for healing. I had a uncomfortable feeling in my gut. I wasn't upset with her, I was upset with me. It wasn't jealousy, but in a way some form of it.. more that it was mad at myself for not knowing. Why wasn't I "sure" like other people. How could I not know what I want and like like other people?  Gre and AS and I were standing around a table. Organizing our things back in our bags. There was a soft ball type thing in the middle that had lost earrings stuck in it. And then one beautiful square cut crystal was dangling off a string. I wondered why it was there.

RVB came to our room. He was chatting, being completely agreeable, completely enthusiastic, energetic and so on. Why did this annoy me? Maybe it felt like pressure.. I wasn't there and I didn't want to feel like I had to be. But it makes one feel like "what is wrong with me that I am not?"  We had to go. Part of me had wanted to leave much sooner, the other part didn't feel ready.

sesame street - song

Woke up to this song in my head this morning. I don't think I ever knew the words.

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street...

wolf control

I dreamt that someone had a wolf. Hmmm,  it was weird in that this very large wolf was not just someone's dog, it was attached to their soul? or power? or ego?   or???? I'm not sure or maybe it was attached to mine.  They had control over it and I wanted it back because it felt like it was doing things to me that were fear based that I didn't like. So I faced it, not to kill it, but to win it over.

Then later I dreamt that some woman tied up these people horizontally. Like they were on a clothes line but one above the other with space in between. She was torturing them... more like carving out pieces of them.  She was doing it to prove a point to someone else that wasn't being tortured, not to physically hurt them (although she was hurting them). But in the end... it was as though she never really hurt any of them, but one. This person she cooked over a fire. She took the head (again more to hurt another person) and put it on the table and took a knife and sawed through the middle.  The bones were brittle and dry since it had been cooked so long, and you could hear them crack and crunch under the knife. Then she split it in half and served it up to that person.