small broom

I dreamt that I was in a large room. I forget a huge portion of the beginning of this dream. There was a girl there I grew up with (SM). It was as if we were prepping for an event. The room was a large cube. Probably two story high ceilings or more. There was a large rectangular part of the floor that was taken out, large enough to fit a couple of cars in. There was broke up branches and log all over one part of the floor. We were supposed to be dressed a certain way and there were a pile of costumes at the opening of one side of the building. I had one shoe and couldn't find the other. I found a small broom and tried to start cleaning up the wood bits.  Then SM came with a larger more efficient one. I felt threatened, missing one shoe, wanting to be of help but feeling like even if I had an idea, it would be taken, if I tried, someone had better tools. I kept sweeping.

help hurts

I dreamt that I found myself in my exboyfriend's apartment. It has been years since I have seen him, around 10 years... He wasn't there, but I had vague memories of the evening before. Did I get drunk and visit? I didn't know where he lived, so he had to have asked me over. I didn't even know his number. I was a bit in a panic. I was looking for my phone so I could leave the scene.  I remembered something from the night before or very early that morning, him looking for his wallet. I started scrambling through blankets, counter tops, piles for my shoes, keys, phone and found nothing. I was exhausted and didn't feel well, so I went back to sleep, waking up here and there, but too groggy to do anything. Finally it was evening and I woke up with a jolt. I remembered I had wanted to get out of there before he returned. I started looking again and found my keys. I thought maybe I had left my phone in my car. I went out into the parking lot and started clicking my unlock button hoping to hear the beep beep of my car. Nothing... then I thought I had heard something but then saw people were coming so went and hid in the bushes. I didn't find my car and rand back into his place and his wife was already there and two children. I was stuck. I had put on a large hoodie of MT's and just sat there with an uncomfortable guilty face. She greeted me with a warm smile and said hello. I said how happy I was for them. And then MT came behind me and was pleading with me to let them help me. I don't know why I needed help, but in the dream I was lacking something. I was refusing.. help hurt somehow. It said I was bad, not good, not capable... He was crying and pleading now... almost manic as if he was trying to reason with a crazy person ... me... to let them help me.   

which reality

I dreamt that I ran into a friend in passing in the airport. She was excited because business was going well. She had also just received a special flower out of luck, although she knew that she was in a good groove and that had to be the reason why. She was happy but one thing was bothering her. There was someone she had been trying to make a connection with, and it should have been so easy. She was going over all of the times that were missed and how odd it was. Then I said something like..."you've painted yourself into a corner. You keep on focussing what isn't happening instead of what is. So simple... stop."

dancing to ...

I dreamt that I was in a classroom. I'm not sure if I was in school, or if it was a reunion, or I worked there. I almost felt like I worked in corporate and this was some how part of it. It felt like evening and some of us were there working late, but felt festive about it because the hours were unusual and the formality didn't seem to be necessary. It felt good. Someone was there that I had a crush on in middle school (AH). He was kind of like a big teddy bear. He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to dance. Sort of a tango, sort of not ... It felt nice. I said ..." isn't this nice?" meaning just dancing for fun... I could tell I would be disappointed. Not that he didn't think it was nice. But I could have danced all night for the joy of dancing... where he was hoping dancing would lead somewhere else...

cracker metaphor

I dreamt that I was home (a home I had 14 years ago). There was a ton of sunlight in the place and it felt cheery. I was doing things around the home and then my?? I guess he was my boyfriend, but it was George Clooney.  He was not in the best mood, but it was normal for him. Kind of was always in a half gloomy state. He took something, a pill. Then all of a sudden he was happy and playful and winked as if to say... now is your time if you want to ... wink wink. I thought... why do you think I'm interested? I don't want this with you?  (so maybe he wasn't my boyfriend).  I felt empathetic for him, but for about one second. He needed to understand that the world wasn't altering to his changing moods as they happened.

I asked if he would like breakfast to change the subject... oatmeal?

Then there was an old woman in his place. The bedroom had changed to a sitting room, still sunny.  There was another woman in the room, tall, thin, dark hair. She wasn't the most pretty, but she was happy. I could tell she was focused on other things. The old woman had given her a birthday gift. The woman was very appreciative and wanted to open it in front of her, but the old woman didn't want to be there. As if it wouldn't be the true gift it was, if the receiver felt the need to act appreciative in front of the giver. So she left.

The woman and I were talking. She had a job she loved. It was doing research and giving her intuitive advice. She said it was wonderful, that it wasn't like producing something with money in, money out. The value was in being in the right space, time, perspective. Taking the time, being human and when the idea was ready... it was ready, not rushed. It sounded wonderful. I told her that I would love that idea but with getting people back on track and clarity. Some friends came in just then with gifts. RP came in and gave her a rectangular felt cloth that had square soda crackers attached to fill it. I guess she said it was supposed to be a metaphor. She also gave her scones from the Scone Society of ?? They were small and odd looking. She said.. "what do you expect? they are from the scone society??"  Then MG gave her a pastrami sandwich from the East Coat.

cabin away

I dreamt that I was visiting a cabin somewhere. I'm not sure if it was at the coast or in the woods. It felt nice though maybe like an escape from things, but more like something new to visit.  It was green and easy. I had thought I was going to be there alone, but I think my dad was there. I told him about an antiques store up the road and that they had guitars there. I thought he would shrug his shoulders and not care, but he told my cousin's daughter, "I know this isn't something you all would be interested in, but there are some antique guitars there, so we are going to go take a look."

Then I was at a picnic table. We were either under the canopy of the trees or it was a bit overcast. A guy I used to work with was there but he was actually a mix of two people I know. One that is sweet as can be and positive. The other that is single and humdrum and seems to focus on the not so good. I was seeing the face of the positive one. He was glowing. He had come here with his new girlfriend and I was really happy for him. They started talking about that they had trimmed a bush near the cabin so there was an easier path to the ocean. They said "now you can take the truck down there since it is sand dollar season." But it seems the owner of the cabin didn't quite care for it, so took all of the trimmings and put them in the trail.

Then I was in the cabin, also very dark. I think I was waiting for my dad but not sure. I sat in an easy chair for a bit and was flipping channels. There wasn't much on. My dad was there and a friend sitting in chairs too... although these people changed to other people. I was looking at the menu of things I could watch coming up, but I guess if you had watched them before, they stayed downloaded in your system so you didn't have to wait for the new time. My dad made a comment on what I had watch. I said that I really just had it on for noise. I purchased a ticket to San Diego. Not sure why... maybe something I could do there. I As the two men were talking... now an ex coworker (DL) and another guy, I decided to cancel. The guys were talking about a construction project. (DL) had been managing it for other guy's company. I piped up about at first the construction guys wouldn't let us through without ID. DL grimaced knowing they were just tossing their power around. It was better now. DL could see what I was doing. I said I wanted to cancel. I wanted to go somewhere different than San Diego. He asked where I would like to go. Was I going to go to the same old place I'd been over and over?  I knew I was able to see friends there, but I did want to see something. I said Norway. I've always wanted to see the fjords.

They left and I got up. The couple was there again and now talking about how you could hear through the wood stove's pipes. They had told the owner but he hadn't seemed to care. They said something about the microwave working in their and then I quit listening.  

unworthy fuss

I dreamt of TG. He passed away this year. In my dream he looked as he did when he was young. I was looking up ways to help his health, what to eat, and so on. He looked at me with eyes that looked a bit pleading and said.. "Can't you just let me eat, maybe I'll gain 10 lbs or ?? but... " I don't remember the rest of the words, but the feeling was .... I just want to live, to breath, to enjoy..... instead of all of this fussing.

holiday lights

I dreamt that I was in New Orleans and it felt like fall. The air and the lighting felt cozy. I was near an old shopping mall and each year an elderly black couple took it upon themselves to cover the mall in lights for the holidays. They would plug them in at dusk and unplug them in the morning. The man seemed to be widowed now and had to move a few block farther away from the mall. Before the wire had reached a light pole outside his home where there was an outlet. He could go outside in his robe and slippers in the mornings and turn it on. Now he was a little sad as he wasn't as agile as he used to be and couldn't make it to the light pole from his new home.  Then, like a rumor in my head, I knew his son was going to resolve this for him and bring the wire out to the front of his new home.

clear eyes

I dreamt that I was working in a supermarket. I saw someone and their eyes were all one color, saw them again later they were normal. A coworker said the same thing,and  then it happened to a coworker. We didn't know if it was the same person or two people but we knew it was happening.Aliens?

For some reason we had to discuss at length what the eyes actually looked like, were they all one color? were they like a purey (clear marble), were they, were they, where they ... etc. I finally said, "can't we all agree this isn't normal?? and that we are kind of describing the same thing??"  Then I had a vision of sorts and built a model... it showed different structures/buildings and I could created them down to the minute detail.  This other girl was in her dark all one colored eye phase. She was making something too. I knew some of the things went with the building or were parts. It was as if we were all getting the same messages, just some more clearly than others. I recreated an even smaller model so when her eyes came back, she would understand and think that the had created the small model.I could have just pointed out mine ,but I think that would have scared her and she would have rejected it. The others all came in the room and she woke up. Her parts were not actually part of the model, but they belonged with the idea. They were parts to robots and when we put them together, they created an odd spider robot about 2.5 feet tall. They were like babies though in that they needed to learn still. They were equipped with everything but experience. Helen Mirren was there and she started teaching the baby spider robots how to walk. She must have felt motherly towards them. They were very wobbly, but they were following her instructions.

Out of nowhere a large stomp, and it was what we feared finally coming. I am not sure if they were aliens, but they were not us. One had seen the spiders and knew it was their and was so tall, it could just step on the metal fence and take it down. I was pleading with everyone to run. A explosion of sorts went off and I could see many of the people in the now outside fenced area, were all dead. I went ahead and ran to a house next to us. It had a large garden, an open air shop and more. One of the people who followed me was not taking any of it seriously. I said didn't see that those people died? He said.. Oh, I guess I'll turn the volume off my phone then and laughed. I ran and didn't see a good escape route or hiding place and they had already found the people that were in the open hair shop. They were so close, all I saw was an ornamental bush. I thought maybe I would be lucky and they wouldn't be interested in the plants around the house. I was wearing a bright yellow coat and holding something bright red and was very visible. They got out of their vehicles and were walking around when one noticed me. One that wasn't so bright. He thought I was a doll, so I put on my absolute best performance. They shook the bush and I held myself in my sitting position. Now more than ever, I was happy that I worked out my abs regularly. They kept pushing until my doll pose fell on its side and I rolled back and forth a bit on the ground as a hard object would do. They finally were bored and left.

I went on and looked for what to do. I ended up in a half circle of buildings with many people. I looked at the structure and it was the model I had created. This was the message. I walked around the place and noticed everyone had a double, and every double had a guide of sorts. I saw to young black men in uniform with a much much older black man in uniform. He nodded and smiled at me as if to say, yes... just in a days work, watching over the doubles. I could hear people talking about the buildings as if they were historians. "Oh yes... back in the day, the buildings were created for boy girl, but they had to be on opposite sides of the hall, quite a good idea really."  From what I understood, the doubles lived separately in different buildings, but across the hall from a female which was also a double and the other would live across from the same double.

I felt more at ease now, everyone was comfortable and this seemed the way it was supposed to be. I walked over to an older white building. It was a nice restaurant with fresh white paint, it just had been there for ages. The sounds of the restaurant cheered me up. Happy conversations, clinks of glasses, wait staff milling about and nice sun light pouring in. I was going to relax for a second and get something to eat. But then I saw them. They were the ones outside of the house that thought I was a doll. If everything was as it should be, these people still didn't feel right to me. I was looking for a room or closet to hide in. Every little door I found was a false cabinet meant for a very small item.  I looked up and found another short door and climbed in. A coworker (reality one) saw me running and thought I didn't need to hide, but she followed me in as she wanted to make a private call  I decided to leave there too. I saw another little door that went to the roof. I climbed up quickly and waited on the roof. I was careful as I didn't know if this little nook was built to support weight.  Then from this point I could see the actual president of my company. He was rehearsing for a meeting the next day that would include all workers. He seemed a bit cautious and said that he wouldn't be able to use the lathe in the meeting. Someone else had to do it as he had moved last weekend and his arms felt a bit weak. I felt like it wasn't the reason.

run away

I dreamt that I was in a large hotel that had event spaces and ballrooms. There seemed to be something big going on that required security and a team of technology people and equipment. It felt like it was less audio/visual and more security related. I was going to one of the rooms, not sure why, but I felt like I had an aim. I was in one room to take a shower and was getting ready when an Indian man in a dark suit came in. He was all smiles and pleasant and I was to follow him somewhere. We had met before and I had assumed he was someone I had to watch out for, but he turned out being nice and he kind of liked me. We walked down the hall and into one of the security centers. There were FBI types milling around, all looking tense and busy. The Indian fellow put his arms around me and walked in sync with my walk. I was a bit uncomfortable about how this might look to his coworkers and so quickly left the room. I ran down the hall back to my room and it was filled with people. I knew I had to hurry and get my things because something not good was about to go down. I ran to the back bathroom which was huge, I had been staying in some sort of superior suite with a spa. They had a massage table set up and they were asking if I was ready for my full day of pampering... something that came with the room. In my dream it was the second time I was able to stay in a place like that and missed the use of the spa both times. They said that they would comp me a massage and they stamped the palm of my hand with a red inked coupon. This wouldn't stay... oh well.

I finished stuffing a small back pack with my things and then a made was complaining to me. I forget about what but that I accused her of something and now she was in trouble at work. I knew I hadn't done anything offensive and told her so as she was getting forms filled out about the situation. In my mind she shouldn't be a maid. She had a handsome face that could do modeling as senior and I told her so, but then the woman's face morphed into a few other faces and I stopped talking. I got my backpack and ran back down to the security room. There was something I was given that was to be hidden and I knew I couldn't be caught with it.

The hallway down to the room was packed with people. I ran into a friend (who happened to be Gerard Butler.. handy), and he was the only one I knew to trust in the group. He told me to run and get out now. People were coming that were going to try to shut us down and it was dangerous. I ran and saw the people he was talking about. The hotel was now some sort of large mall with escalators. I saw patrons running and they were not interested in them. I looked like a patron as well, but I couldn't take a risk and lept over a glass wall onto an escalator and slid down the railing and then just kept running. I had escaped and was running down a street in the night. My mind was running as well.... I have escaped ... now what? Do I feel good about this? He is back there still... will he be hurt? does he need my help?  Does feeling free feel better or is it better to be in the muck, as long as you care about someone? I didn't have an answer...

running refugee

I dreamt that myself and another woman were trying to escape our country. We also had a young boy with us. Escaping didn't mean so much of a better life though. In the next country we had to hide who we were, or they would send us back. We were lucky that we didn't look or sound any different than the neighboring country, but we still had a different culture, so we had to be careful. There was one last border we had to cross. It was a dangerous one with a fence on one side... a fast moving man made canal that was bordered by cement walls on either side. If you were to jump to the other side, you had to make it through barbed wire and it was the only thing you could grab hold of at the end of the jump. First the girl went and made it fine. I could hear her saying something to the boy... to jump, but then she said in order to make it, he had to swim to the bottom and it would be easier. She was basically asking him to drown himself. He followed her orders and he never came back up. I was in shock that she would do such a thing, but I knew she felt he would hold  us back. I couldn't deal with this now. Right now we had to make it across and then try to blend in before curfew.  I made it across and we went towards the town. The streets were busy with people needing to get to this place or that, with only a couple of carts selling things on the street. You weren't allowed to just stroll...all citizens had to work.  I saw a heavy man, a guard or police man and he noticed me. I don't know where the girl went and I didn't care.  I just knew I had to do some fast talking to not be put away.  

kayak genes

I dreamt that I was kayaking with my friend SA. We were each in our own kayak and were going down a dark river. We were coming to a bridge and realized it was boarded up on the other side, so we couldn't go through. I wasn't doing that well with my paddling and felt a little out of control and apologetic.

When we were under the bridge, others started showing up on rafts and another boat. They were young and seemed that they wanted to cause trouble. SA seemed calm though. I wanted to leave but he just went about his business. We climbed up on a ledge under the bridge. The people started talking to me and showing me things, weird food items etc. They were talking about mutating genes intentionally with this food and how they could change the world with it.

I had a gut feeling that SA new them. I turned to him and asked. He had brought us here on purpose. I had remembered him bringing something up about the genes before and me scoffing... He wanted me to believe in it and be part of the movement.