Indian man, new apartment

From yesterday


I dreamt I was in a cab. I had just paid the man but then dropped a pendant in the back seat. I was reaching down for it and in the mean time found lots of change and kept handing it to the man feeling like.. aren't you excited? look at all this money you didn't know you had.... He thought it was odd I was taking the time to do this. Then I left the cab and I was in a house laying on a couch covered with a blanket half awake. In the dream I was thought I was feeling the back of the couch against my legs and back but I was half-wishing it was this Indian man behind me. Then it was and I wasn't wishing it so much anymore. Kind of a 'careful of what you wish for' feeling. He was behind me adn being sweet and cuddly, but I wanted to get away, but had to be nice back. His son, a teen of about 17, came in and was talking. I guess this man and I were in a relationship. Something about it felt secure, nice, I had nothing to worry about whatsoever. But it felt like I gave up my heart and self for a feeling of security. I was clothes-less at one point and I felt the guy I was really excited about was about to walk through the door. I wanted to do anything I could to detach myself from the current situation to be with him. I didn't care if we were poor, or in a disaster, I just wanted to be with him. 


I dreamt a friend of mine's twins. the girl, who is only two.. knew how to tell jokes and be witty...


I dreamt about a friend of mine in Denmark. I got a job there and he said, sorry.. I have a girlfriend. I didn't care either way and didn't know why he thought I did. I just said.. well good for you....


Then the dream went to me getting an apartment. I was in a new place and wasn't sure of my finances at the moment, so I got a very cheap place. The walls were all unfinished. They were like brown paper with a bunch of nails or tack points sticking out from the walls. The floors were somewhat wooden but in other places like the walls with tacks or nails poking out. I was thinking, I need to get my money back.. this place is in shambles... but then the floor was smooth wood again and the walls didn't bother me so much. And the place was really huge and a great layout. I started dancing all over the floor in a full skirt that swung around when I would spin while ghost dancing with someone. I was thinking I should really have a party before I get furniture. It felt so open and nice. Then I walked into the next room and it was huge and beautiful. Dark wood doors and moldings, wood floors, large built in closet and two bathrooms. Then I had a roommate and realized penny was my roommate while I was in the first room and Kirsten was my roommate when I was in the second.

bits and pieces

This was actually two nights ago...

Event at a place. I was running it sort of.

Someone mentioned too the cleaning lady that she wasn't so grumpy. And she said that she is grumpy during the week but not on the weekend

Girl from class was the ? model at the event. She put on glittery powder all over to get ready.

repeating the dream

Night before:
I dreamt the other night that something was coming to end the world. Like we knew we were going to die, it was only time..... A friend of mine was going on a special mission.... he thought ... to try out an ?? antidote...like something that would keep us alive. I went up to him and his wife, she was giving him snacks. He was going to fly out in this black ball thing. And I said.. you know.. this isn't an antidote, they are giving you a drug to see if it will help you die easier without pain.... He just looked at me like... don't tell me this!  My brother was there too.. not sure of his role.

Tonight
I dreamt I saw an old bf from hmm little under 20 years ago. But we were good friends. We were walking and talking in a park in Portland. It was nice to see him etc.. but then he was wanting to be physical. He is married. It made me feel like then he had no respect for me... or his wife and so I wanted him to go. Then I was walking with my brother and just started to tell him the dream I had in the previous post, but then I saw my friends Kirk and Hong who were in the dream too... so I waved them over and was telling him the dream. I said the antidote funny by accident (with a southern accent almost) and then corrected myself. His friend said no harm in funny pronunciations... then I continued telling the dream and Kirk, again was upset hearing it.  

tiny doors

 there was a part before this, I think it involved getting from one place to another by car or?? A blond friend of mine that lives in Australia (but Dutch) was in it... helping me or asking me to go with him? I just remember his curly blond longish hair. ;)

I'm with some coworkers. We are on the way to a ? convention or the airport or something and we end up driving through this old apartment complex. I said.. Oh I know where we are! It was a place I had lived before. I saw lots of men outside walking their little dogs. I was telling my coworkers all about the place saying how it is one of the few places that are pet friendly, one of the men heard me and said.. "ooooh... isn't it greeeat??? I just looove this place."  I smiled and agreed, but then was telling my coworkers how nice the place used to be. It was beautiful. It was built by the architect to be part of the area, which before was an evergreen forest. There were trees all through it, wetlands around it and so on. Everything used to be lush and green and the apartments were short and tall towers to have the feel of the trees. It was so sad to see that it hadn't been taken care of by the right people. I also told them about this trail a friend of mine and I used to take (which was actually a memory from another dream).  Then at some point I got out and went through an opening and I was in this other house... that I used to live in. It was a mansion type house (side note:  It is interesting for me.. I have my highschool, my house I grew up in and this mansion house in my dreams often... all places I felt uncomfortable or restricted) ... anyhoo....
so I go in this house and there is a party that is about to happen, it feels like people are preparing etc. It is more of a summer bbq that feels like a bridal shower, than a party party. I live there too... and we are also moving. I'm trying to sort my things but the people coming in and saying hello and hugs are making it so I can't get it done. I go in the dining room and close the door.. partly for quiet and partly so the people coming in don't get the white carpet dirty... so we don't have to clean it again before the move. I go back to packing my things.. a couple of people come in.. nice ones.. checking on me. I see one of the roommates of the house. She is? a bit of a frazzled person, addictive type, always seems out of it, a little dim, gets with the wrong guys and so on. She is getting her stuff together too. She wants me to see something in her room and I tell her in a minute. Another friend goes with her.  I am looking really quick for some photo that I wanted to give her. It would mean something to her, a handy parting gift.. and it meant nothing to me. I think I find it.. or not. I go upstairs... I look at the bathrooms for some reason. There are three large bathrooms. One is just a giant room with a shower head and a bench and sink etc. The other has a huge jacuzzi tub .. anyhoo, they are all nice and big and made me think.. why would they do this and have them all so close together?  So I go to her room. The door is tiny. Like you would have to lay on your side.. and wiggle in to get through it tiny. I tell her.. you know.. I just can't go through one more of those doors today. I'm tired, and it is exhausting. Just thinking about it now makes me feel tired and constricted and claustrophobic. A lot of work to get somewhere I don't want to be. She is rambling on half out of it ... about her packing, getting things done.. and then she said.. Oh I wanted to ask you.... and she walked over to some colored glass tiles that were on the wall (projecting from the wall, not cemented to it). She had taken some off for herself and put them around her neck. She said.. I was thinking... like when I wanted to go to the clubs and there is a long line... I could use these to get in. Do you think it would work? Like instead of money?   .... I looked at her  and thought.. just humor her. I said .. maybe.. but really, you just need to go to the front of the line and flirt (she was really pretty), a friend of mine did this in ny all the time and she got in....

comic movie and sandra bullock

So I'm in a room with these two guys and one is the creator of some ?film or comic book. He is needing help drawing large versions of his characters because the local mall is going to have them in the middle 'aisle' on the floor, He has this big big guy in there doing the drawings. He looks kind of lacking in the brain department, but he ends up turning out great drawings and fast. The only problem is that he drew the duck character with the fuzzy hat with a load full of machine guns and he did the same with the other characters. The other guy is so stressed the he is checked out and he just says it will be fine. The big guy is walking over and I look at the author fella and he has a big squish of mucas on his face... I'm not sure what to tell him, but just as I might, the big guy comes over and he has a comic book version of a really fat yellow with brown spots slug (so of course it is cute with big eyes and eyelashes) on his face in the same spot. So I tell him he has something on his face instead.. which in turn he tells the other guy that he has something on his face and I'm freed of the responsibility. We go outside and the author says...ok.. we're meeting at Q bar. I'm racking my brain... one, didn't know we were going to go out, and two where is Q bar/grill/??  Then it came to me... oh yeah.. that place.... over there... so I got in my car ...

---

I was in Sandra Bullock's apartment. I may have just woken up and was there for some reason. She had a roommate, David Carradine. Sandra was very full of energy and a little all over the place (which I learned in my dream was normal). It kind of made it hard to communicate with her, although you did know some communication was happening, even if you didn't get the eye contact and her mind was on 500 things at the same time. I had on a bathrobe and some platform flip flops and she wanted to do karate. She was bouncing up and down landing in different poses, high on coffee... I was groggy, stumbling in my platforms and getting my legs tangled in my robe and said 'ok.'   I tried and I said.."I just need to take these flip flops off.. I think they are hindering my movement." Then I looked over at her feet and she had flip flops on... although not as platformy. I blocked a move, but she was moving so fast I just decided the 'on fire' technique was best so I stopped dropped and rolled. I was all wrapped up in my robe now up against the side of the sofa and was having a hard time getting up. She had moved on to something else and was in the kitchen with David. He was in a robe like me. He was calmly cooking breakfast and talking nicely to me as if Sandra wasn't there. He was talking about how active (in the head) she is and so on and that you really had to focus to talk to her. Sandra's head was completely in the cupboard andb was scramling for these little white things and rambling on about something to see. She threw on out on the counter. It looked like a plastic ? well a white tiny flat plastic rectangle a little wider than a thumb. There was sharpi markings on it and they were titles of a movie or something. So I guess they were litte dvd type things. I was trying to read them and was saying .. sure.. I could watch while having a conversation to them about Kung Fu and did they used to watch it as kids. Sandra was saying.... oh that was probably too new for us (inferring that they were older and were into different things).. I said.. nooooooo I know you have seen it .. it has that guy in it... Daniel? David?  Carradine?? (in my dream David wasn't David).  Although he looked and smiled...

hot air balloon and long dining table...

First I was with an Italian friend of mine. There was a hot air balloon and we needed to use it for some reason. My friend was not very happy about this because he either didn't like the fire contraption in the balloon, or heights ... or both.We both got in and made sure everything was secure and then went up... if I'm remembering right, it was very nice.

...

Fell back asleep. I was arriving at a friend's house (but at the same time it was a French friend of mine's family's house)... So I met the brother's ... who were initially my French friend's brothers and I was in awe of how lack luster and untalented they were in comparison to their brother, but then they turned into my friend's brothers and sister and they were intelligent and caring. I was looking around my friend's home (who is Dutch ...I just need to throw in a Polish person and we have a joke). It was very "Dutch," well.. as far as the furniture went. Very clean lines, light wood and so on. He had a kitchen that took up one full wall of the main living area with windows all around. I guess imagine a large just off being square room. There were windows along every wall, one wall was kitchen with a large table or island in front of it and pots and things hanging from the ceiling.. the far left part of that wall was for a little nook that stuck out a bit from the off-square, then he seemed to have lots of chairs. About 20 were stacked up on top of a table. They were a blond wood and matched a looooong skinny table at the right end of the kitchen that ran along the wall perpendicular to it. It was only wide enough to have maybe two plates across... but not too large of plates. Most likely people would have had to have sat zigzagged down the table and no serving platters allowed. There was a fire place just down from the end of the table making it to the corner of the next wall of the off-square.. (making that the front of the house.. with maybe a couch etc.... and a rug... and a porch....

The brothers and sisters came right down to talking to me while their brother (now my Dutch friend) cooked. They pointed out the window past the dining table... see over there?  Yes... I saw many people milling about... maybe 2-3 guys.. the rest were women. They said.... we are worried about him (Dutch friend)... he spends a lot of nights drinking and it is because of those two mainly... and they pointed to two red headed women. One actually looked like trouble, but the kind you could avoid because it was blatant... the other was an innocent beautiful, but she had something powerful about her... they said that was the main one that was causing their worrying. She had a hook on him and was keeping him from himself..  I decided to get away from the gossip.. there wasn't anything I could do about it and thought I should probably keep my nose out. I had my little dog (I used to have) with me.. we were walking along the water behind his house (he lived on the ocean/sea/?), we walked past the docks/boats and then there was one place that still had a little sandy beach left (the tide was in). I was excited to take my dog (Sophie) down to the water ... she ran and jumped in immediately. It was really deep and clear right there...I saw her swimming so felt ok... but then I saw her sink... I ran to go dive in, but then she turned and looked right at me.. kind of floating mid-water almost saying... I'm ok... just wait... I'll float back up to the top in time.

hill of lights and driving

First... I woke up saying... "thanks new skin stuff"... hmm

My last dream, I about to drive a small truck home in the snow. It was evening and I was near the outskirts of a town. A place maybe where they had started building homes in the 80s for a new suburb that didn't quite take off and they were now just starting to prep for building again. I was driving down where they had new streets, curbs and street lamps, but the rest of it was yellow grass and frozen dirt. I tried the truck... it started and then sputtered and died. I thought maybe I just didn't do it right, tried again, this time it didn't even turn over... tried again while it was rolling and it started (thank god... nothing like being stuck in the middle of the road at night in an empty neighborhood). I was driving along and now I might be getting sections mixed. I stopped at this ?? outdoor/indoor cement warehouse thing. There were two women there and I guess I had come to volunteer. They were moving precious rocks. Either someone died or they found them?? and they were going to sell them to raise money for their nonprofit. Some of the rocks/stones where a deep emerald green, another looked like lemon meringue pie... (then it ended up being lemon meringue pie)...

Then at some point I was in the truck again, I was driving around the empty neighborhood and then up a hill and then... aaaaah.. it was really pretty... all of these pretty homes with pretty lights. At first there were some trailers, an empty lot, a poorly built home... couple more empty lots but then as you went up the hill you saw the neighborhood that was initially intended. In my dream some guy that owned most of the property liked me and wanted me to buy there. I thought it was funny that I would be buying a home here... my friend Matt "loved" it and I had wanted to live where he bought.. but you just never know...

rabbit tv

If I didn't own a tv, I would say that I'm sure I saw this on television. I dreamt about people and their pets. There was a rabbit and it was soft and cuddly and wanted to be with its owner. Then it was showing other less interested pets (but I would say a rabbit is that way)...  So.. anyhoo.. was a cute rabbit and could swear that I saw it on a television program...

Then another dream where I was locked in a bathroom. I couldn't get away because every time I would struggle, I would fall asleep. Then I remember screaming to get someone's attention... and they were screaming wondering where I was...

Mary and Mr. Grant

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There is a bit of dream before this, but at one point I'm living in a house with these people. Either that or I am watching these people's children.  Someone is out of the house (that sometimes feels like a large boat) getting some food. Then I'm in a shower. A large shower that is the size of a small room. I'm looking for my shampoo (several people live here, so everyone has there own shampoo stashed in there). I see that my shampoo has been moved and used.. I'm a little not happy and I know who used it. I'm in there with a young blond girl and Ed Asner (Mr. Grant). In the dream this is just normal, not weird. I'm facing the shower head, just because I'm shy in general and we all chat. Then it is like I can see through the wall. I see Mary sitting on a bench and then a blond girl (who is her daughter? or ..) and then another woman that is me and not me. She is telling Mary that she will die soon. I cringe while watching because it wasn't put too softly... but everyone seems to be taking it ok. It is almost as if the blond girl came to tell her this news, but is just the messenger. Like she is going to be her little tour guide out.

chubby man

I had a dream last night (during an accidental nap) that I was dating this larger fella that I met in a Kolsch bar a few weeks back. I don't mean to be mean in his description, but just so you get a feel.. he was round, bald, and he was the kind of heavy where the back of the head melds into the back (as in gains wait in the neck area where there is usually a scoop of space).  I'm not putting him down.... just describing. He was actually very friendly and charming from what I could tell. He was in the dream too. We had just begun dating (as in .. familiar enough to expect another date would be on the horizon). His appearance didn't bother me at all, I just knew I liked him and wanted to spend time with him. It was nice.. We were sitting in a livingroom by a fire and talking and he had made plans for a weekend of "mine."  This is where my feelings started to change. I felt like I was being controlled because I had already had plans for that weekend and he didn't ask. My plans were to do absolutely nothing, but they were still my plans.... I wasn't hugely upset with him, but I took it as a clue of things to come...

back to school

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I was in the parking lot of my high school needing to go in but for someone else. A friend of mine I met through work had flown in and I was taxiing her around. I had dropped her off and she was going to take care of somethings. Before, she was staying with me and the usual, unpacking, where are my things etc. was happening. Then I picked up a girl from school that I never knew that well (shelly). She needed to go somewhere too, so I was dealing with her... and then lost track of my other friend... I needed to go back and pick her up. The feeling wasn't too stressful, just juggling friends and duties. I think my friend Matt was in this somewhere too. He was telling me about what was going on in his life. It was a nice familiar feeling.

Then at some point, we all went to a party of sorts. First it was because Annie needed to go, then I needed to go... etc... An exboyfriend was there. We were just talking. Some old nice feelings came up, but nothing singlehood threatening. Then another exboyfriend of mine showed up (more singlehood threatening) and he sat down by me. I didn't want their to be uncomfort between the two and the 2nd one that showed up could read it on my face... so he got up and acted casual and asked questions about the house etc. I followed him. We were chatting and then someone threw a kitten (more like teenage cat) over the house.. I was soooooo mad. I wanted to find the idiot. I could hear them say...oh.. cats can take care of themselves... I kind of half-woke up at this point, but was still angry and somehow got back into my dream... punched the guy in the neck (just watched Sherlock Holmes yesterday) and then in the diaphragm etc. And then rattled on by saying, if the cat knew what was coming... it could have taken care of itself and ran... just like you could have.  Funny enough, I woke up in a nice mood.

two days ago, a day ago, last night...

Yesterday I remembered I had another dream two days ago. I mainly remember what it looked like and some feelings. but not the "story."  I was on a hill in the country. It felt like something familiar, but in just that I was from that area, but I had never been to that street before.... and not in that area in so long, that I felt like an outsider. I was on a road.. it partly felt like the only road in that area... or the only one with residences on it. The homes were far apart with a lot of land for each, large old trees (broadleaf) and well worn barns and sheds around the homes. I walked from one end to the other. At the other end I think the home was for sale and I was looking at it. I was looking in a barn or green house type building. It was dusty and old but had lots of possibilities and I wanted it and then when I would "wake up" and realize that this road was it... I would un-want it.. back and forth. Someone came in while I was looking around. I think I liked him from before I was gone... it was nice to see him.

Hmm now yesterday's dreams are foggy... I know they left an impression, but now not sure what...

Las night  Ugh... forgetting these too... I'll have to see if they come back.

scary clown...

again I had a few dreams, but the one, or the pieces that stuck with me from last night was one with a jagged tooth clown and other scary characters.... like heartless business higher up ... theif .... and so on

I would walk by a counter that had shiny tile... and in the reflective surface i would see the clown snarling at me, or I would walk by a piece of metal and in it could see the thief or the cold business guy and so on. I just wanted to run through rooms and close my eyes..

As soon as I woke up I was relieved until I recounted my dream to myself and thought of what a psychologist might say of someone who every time they looked in a reflective surface, they saw a monster....

running

I really should have written this in the morning.

So... bits of this and that happen... then I'm on the run in a city with a guy. We are searching for some info before some "bad guys" can get it. We were in a helicopter and then jump out and run down a street. Two black helicopters are chasing us from the sky.. we dip into a corridor and have lost them. My friend leads me to this old beat up truck. He is riffling through things and he finds the info we need. As we go to leave I ask if I should lock the door.. he says now.. the old man (a man early in the dream that looks like a homeless drunk) is my dad... I leave it open for him.  

then I wake up.

motorcycles and christmas

Ok.... I have 3 days of dreams that are getting foggier by the minute...

3 days ago

Something ghosty... I was telling someone about this toy car and showing it to them. I told them to watch... it moves on its own and follows me around. I was describing it as if it was cute and neat, but in reality it scared me.

2 days ago

I dreamt I was in this house. I'm not sure if I was with friends... I think I was.... it was a familiar feeling, comfortable. There was a party or something going on in one house.... and then my brother and I went into the house next door. I think I wanted to show it to him or something like that and they were having an "open house." I think my friend Matt might have been in this dream too. It felt festive, fun, and partly that .. not wanting to get caught feeling, but in a fun way. Then the dream progressed and I was at my dad's dad's house. My pops.... who has been dead since I was about 12. In my dream he was still alive but just "away..." (and in reality this wasn't his house). I was checking on things... maybe getting his mail etc. and then saw he had a new motorcycle. And it was still new because he wasn't allowed to and would never drive it. It was shiny, pretty and sea green. I couldn't help myself, so I got on it and road up and down the street. The street... it was warm... a morning warm and quiet that I don't know if i have experienced since I was a little kid. When the dew is still on the ground, you can smell maybe coffee, pancakes and bacon in the air.... , no lawn mowers have started yet, no cars on the streets.... That wonderful warm quiet type of morning that you don't really get in a city. Anyhoo.. back to the riding of the motorcycle. What was amazing for me in this dream... is that I had control of my driving. Whenever I have motorcycle dreams, they are sooo scary because I am usually out of control.. the speed is too fast, I am unable to steer or something. So this was enjoyable, almost like riding a bicycle. My brother saw me and I was reassuring him I will put it back and won't ride it too much.... and that was that.

Last night

Something in a big old house... almost a cabin in the mountains... but almost an estate of sorts. I lived there? but I 'served' there... I was making tea for one of the ladies. I remember needing to make sure I had the right tea pot, sea green with a gold rim; and tea cup to match. There was another woman with the same activity to do and she was making a mess of things. I kind of bulldozed around her so I could be done and away. Then ... I think my brother was there. It was Christmas, there were pine bows everywhere and a tree and a warm feeling. I was putting things in Christmas stockings for people. Some were just cards, some little presents.. then I saw that I had a little present from my brother and his wife. ...it had a reindeer on it and hmm forgot what it said.

puppy birds

There is more before this ...

I'm in this park garden place...maybe working? maybe looking for work? maybe shopping...

I'm walking around looking at things. It is green and beautiful. Everything is positive... not because it is perfect, but because it is beautifully how it should be.... or at least it is accepted without resistance. I'm looking around for a bathroom. I find it and another person is using it. He comes out (in reality I think I drank a little too much water before bed) and I take his place. It is a bit of an outdoor bathroom, but with a door and a toilet... again pretty. It is situated next to a tree and you can see the sky. The blond guy gets his hair (it is longish) stuck in the hinge of the door. I help him get it out... he holds the door open for me... closes it and waits. He must know when I'm about to sit down because he hands me a board to sit on as well... I guess the toilet opening is a little too big and he knows I'll need the board. He asks if I remember him... (in my dream we had met at a party a few days before, similar situation, but we had kissed... and it was nice.. and there were mutual nice feelings towards each other). He goes on to do his work... I sit there to do "mine." Then a woman sits by me to use the toilet next to me... also in open hair. She is pregnant and pretty. She does her thing.... we talk. Then I am done and I sit somewhere else... A baby bird type thing crawls out from around the tree. It looks weak, but still alive and kind of pink.. then it is a deep blue and larger with a new born puppy type head. It's wings are kind of rubbery and it is awkward like a new born. It come and crawls on me (in reality I think I would have avoided it, but in my dream it was sweet). It was cuddly and wanted attention... and then another one came and another.... A big truck showed up and they all scattered away. The woman getting out of the truck was kind of rough around the edges and worked at this ?? garden, store, place. I told her about the birds. I was concerned they had lost their mother and needed watching. She knew exactly what they were and she said that they were fine. The mother leaves during the day to hunt and the babies socialize. She said they are safe there. I felt better.... there is more at this end of the dream too, but I don't remember.

teeth in the rocks

Much more to the dream.... something with looking for a horse, but there was only this odd looking one that looked like an ancient drawing, something about to rings.. I was wanting to try one on and then I bent it completely... was my mother's or something and she came in and saw that I ruined it.... and then

looking for a friend and I'm on a scooter/bicycle. I'm riding to her house to pick up my homework (she borrowed it). It is in Cornelius (small town next to my home town). I'm riding and there are lots of pot holes, but i miss each one. I'm having a hard time riding and I'm wondering why I didn't just put it on scooter mode. A girl rides up next to me. Francess Ferguson (girl from junior high). She is trying to be helpful and nice. She asks where I am going etc. and I tell her and say that I can't exactly remember where to go. I then realize I passed it. Then I am hungry and I am with two other girls that are. We are in a grocery store and we not the produce man. He is a nice middle aged Mexican man. We look around for food. There is mainly fruit (a huge variety) and baked goods that look too good. I am tempted by the baked goods, but pick up some rasberries, a grapefruit and I think an apple. The other girls while shopping dropped three apples. I ran over to pick them up... while doing this the Mexican guy said... ok girls, there are new rules. If you are shopping now... once you have touched something you have to buy it. So try to observe first and see what you want before just grabbing things. He was being nice about it. I saw he already rung me up and the bill was $21 plus change. I said real money? I was looking through my wallet and only had dollars, no euros. and then realized I was in the U.S. I pulled out one note or money?? I asked if anyone had seen anything like this. And the girls both knew what it was. They said, you can use that on anything.... it is an open check. They are afraid and did something wrong, so they gave you that open check. I was partly excited but also figured there had to be some sort of catch. My mind was spinning with what I could use it for (bills mainly). We were kind of in another room now in a house we know. Everything was pink, fuzzy.... a bit of a feeling of home or a school. I was walking and all of a sudden my tooth fell out. Then another... and another. I grabbed them all, checking to see if there were roots or what happened. They looked completely healthy and fine. I think one or two were caps and not the whole tooth (I don't have any caps). I grabbed them and thought I had better find a dentist. Then I was talking to my mom ... looking in the mirror and realized my hairline was receding like a guy. I couldn't believe it and then realized why maybe I was having a hard time fixing my hair. I went to walk back to the building and there was a place outside where people worked on cars. An old coworker asked me where a girl (best friend in first grade) could get her VW fixed. I said really... Jake in Forest Grove, you can take it to these two other guys, but it won't be as good. Then I realized I dropped one of my teeth in the gravel. I went searching all over for it, and in doing so, found all these other treasures in the gravel. Instead of having pavement, this place just kept putting new gravel on over the years... I said to the mechanic, it would be fun to excavate this ... I'll bet we would find lots of stuff. I'm not sure I ever found my tooth, but in my mind I was thinking.. I need to make a dentist appointment, -had I visited the dentist regularly this wouldn't have happened, had i maybe been having a more balanced and variety of food, my hairline might be ok ... and so on. I went back inside and there were these big black an fuchsia colored cats. There were very soft, big and nice. I was still looking for something and while at the gravel, had put all of the teeth in my mouth so I would lose them. This guy came over to me and was hitting on me and wanted to kiss. I wanted to explain that I had a mouthful of teeth, but my mouth was full of saliva due to the teeth... awkward.

airplanes, cars, wrong ways....

Hmm I think I was in a jungle of some sort... and my exboyfriend's family was there with his extended family. I really wish I would quit dreaming about them. I saw his brother, who is always chipper and nice and he was not so nice. He had gained weight and looked grumpy. Not happy to see me at all. There was a face in the jungle... I saw it and it was frightening... disfigured, longer than normal and I quickly turned away. It was too scary to look at.

I don't remember much more ...

Another dream I was some place warm.... south america? mexico? africa? I was waiting for my plane with a guy. At first I think it was a guy that I was with and were in love, then he turned into a co-worker and we were just traveling together, but he was watching out for me. We had waited a long time, so were comped first class tickets. He got on the plane and I was sitting in my own row. Then a noisy family got on... and the asian (not sure why, but it stuck out) attendant said I needed to move to normal class. I got mad and said no (not very like me because they didn't "owe" me first class....), but I stood my ground and she said, ok... and took me aside. She gave me vouchers for a hotel and dinner and I would get the next first class flight out. I was ok with her now but I was sad to leave my coworker. I walked around looking for something edible in the courtyard outside the small airport (although it was the nicest, highest tech airport I had seen, it was next to an old old building etc. The stand outside had bins with snacks by the pound (crackers, chips, tortillas) and bread bread everywhere...Nothing I wanted.

Next... something else went on first ,but I don't remember.... then I was driving down the road, I kept taking the wrong turn, so this time I wanted to make it right and I didn't. I saw at least that I could turn around in a parking lot. I turned into a doughnut or mcdonalds or something, but the arrows were all pointing one way, so I had to keep going until I found another way. I ended up seeing a friend of mine. Her car was parked in the middle so no one could get by really. I went out to talk to her. She had piles of stuff outside of her car. I wasn't sure what she was doing. Boxes of greeting cards and stationary etc. Then a woman came by and was mad she couldn't get by. I initially acted like we had engine problem, so she would not get mad. but then I helped by moving her boxes out of the way and showing her there was plenty of room. The lady was then being nice. I asked Tessa (my friend) if she was going to get rid of this stuff, she said no, she was just moving it. She forgot she had it and it was at a friends. At first she thought I was talking about two box of cookies, and I meant all of it. (I think in reality I was hungry... two dreams looking for food)...

Class and fishman

I was with a couple in a house near the beach. She was pregnant and I think he was going to marry her. She had a couple of smaller children as well. We were walking down to the beach to relax and then he told her do dig in the sand a bit. The sand had fallen away and shown a cave. It had been used before and had some storage items in it, boxes, beach toys and so on. It made me nervous to see her almost in cave that looked like it would collapse. He walked up the hill a few steps and I could her him on the phone saying he had it all covered.... as we was placing a knife in the sand. I didn't do or say anything. Then we were all (an old exboss, their friends, family) getting ready for the wedding. Food was being put out, and drinks. People were dressed nice and buzzing around putting flowers places. I think I was in charge of something, but I can't remember what. It was getting closer to the wedding time and the happy couple had not shown yet. I decided I was going to tell my boss what I had seen earlier. I ran around looking for her and changing my mind several times on the way. I didn't want to be wrong about what I had heard and ruin someone's wedding, but I didn't want to be right and not say something. So I told her... , she said she would take care of it and then someone spilled some cake on my shirt. I went to the main building and they said we couldn't use their bathrooms. They were for the rollerskating rink. I glared at them and said we are using their facilities and went upstairs. The rollerskating rink was having a "ladies' night." As I looked around I realized it wasn't just any ladies night. It was Lesbian ladies'night. They were dressed in all different kind of costumes for some kind of pageant. I just wanted to clean my shirt and get out of their. Part of me wanted to see all of the costumes though. One was dressed like ?? superhero/pro-wrestler. She had her face all painted and even her tongue. Another was a couple that was dressed in Jack and Jill type clothes, but the girl had a man face mask. The bathroom counter was covered in makeup things to get ready. I rinsed off my shirt and ran back down the stair and back to the wedding....

Next I was in a class with about 4 or 5 other people. It was some sort of metaphysical class. I am not sure what she was teaching exactly. We each sat on a bad against the wall in a row and she was in front of us. This one guy on the end kept interrupting her while she was trying to tell me something. He was talking to me and I would look back and forth between the two trying to capture what they were both saying. He finally won over and she quit talking to go get something. He was born with some sort of fish thing. His arms wer e fused together in front of him, but he could still use his hands... the rest of him seemed normal. He felt some sort of connection to me and continued talking. I moved over to his bed and we talked under the covers. He said ... do you think we can finally get together and cook? I asked if we had met before? I dont' remember.... He said yes we had. Then he was showing me photos of his arms and how they will fix it, but it had to go through many stages first. I didn't mind. He kissed me and then I remembered he had told the class he had a forked tongue. It was very strange and made me laugh because it tickled. When pulling back and looking at it, it was more strange. It had a kind of black plant growing on the end with little heart shaped leaves, but the plant wasn't more than a strand on each "fork" about 1/2" long.

Then instructor came over again then to start explaining things some more about our connection and I moved back to my bed.

In waking up I have a new found appreciation for our tongues being exactly how they are.

trees, hmm...

Right before completely coming awake... knowing I was just to the point of opening my eyes, I knew all of the dreams I had perfectly. Then I woke up and poof!

I know one had to do with shopping..... one with classes....

One myself and students were working on an art project/presentation. Everyone did their own theme and had to get up in front of class to present a marketing idea for joining something or why something was good. One student was in front of class dressed as a singing bug (a cute singing bug). I liked the idea and everyone was enjoying it, but he got nixed by the teacher for not following one of the instructions.

Then it was like I was in the house I grew up (but it wasn't) and all of these girls/women (not my type... kind of the girls that were the rich ones, superficial, the ones I could never really connect to and didn't understand why were popular ... we were all working on a project. I had already added my part to the project, which was outside in front of the house next door. I walked out there to act like I was still involved and to see their progress, but really I was getting ready to leave to my dad's for the weekend. They were all outside doing their thing?? and there was a tree near the street. An old tall pine tree. I pet it and the whole tree shook a happy shake. It was kind of nice... then I'm not sure if there were thoughts or discussions regarding the trees and how they know everything, watch everything, see everything.

I knew this already... so walked back to the house with my backpack to fill it up with the rest of my things and gummi candy, which is strange to me, because I don't really eat gummi candy.. and they were flavors that are not my favorite in color or taste... lime, orange and lemon. I was being secretive about it and just wanted out of there. I really don't think there was a reason to be secretive though.

One girl was talking. She was in crutches and had hurt her foot and her cat was with her in a box. People were saying how she looked like a lost little boy and everyone was offering her money when she walked down the street. It didn't make sense to me.

I had a bit of a dream before this. Something about looking for a toilet. My least favorite dream... and I would say maybe one of my few repeating ones. It is looking for one in a public place and each one is horribly beyond use. This one was at a school... another girl was with me and neither of us would use any of them.

Maybe the other dreams will come back??

jobs, home, black & white birds...

I had several dreams... more of the feeling is left now.

The feelings are hmmm... love, but not in love..., happy for opportunities, but more for ease - not excited ..., social uncomfort... but not pained from it.

In one dream I am cozy with a student in my class. Not sexual, just co-comfort. It felt like he was sad and wanted comfort and so we spent time together.

Then in another dream I was in a part of town at home I wouldn't normally be. Some people I normally wouldn't be with were smiling and telling me of an 800k home that was for sale. In my mind I was thinking... why are they pushing me to buy this... I don't have a job, so there is no way I could purchase it. They kept going on about how well they knew I would fix it up and it would be a perfect project for me... and then how close it was to my new job. So a home where I wouldn't choose to live, a job I wouldn't choose to have and people I wouldn't choose to spend time with. But I didn't feel tortured. I was there with some people that felt like family. The kind that are nice and bubbly, but you don't connect on any level besides social kindness. A guy I have never met in person was there with me. I guess we were a couple. We were going to a restaurant I wouldn't normally go to.... (a large chain... more like disneyland where they create an atmosphere - this one was a log cabin atmosphere). We walked arm and arm to the place. He was happy. Happy to be living, happy to be going there, happy to be with me. I was observing... , what was I doing? why did we choose this place? did we really like each other? I went into the bathroom when I was there and I think I was doing my hair. I couldn't really see what I was doing. I left the bathroom and paid for something. And then we were in the lobby of the restaurant. Two large birds, taller than me...., one black and one white walked towards me... they grabbed my by the back of my coat and wouldn't let me go. I was scared and then someone finally helped me free. I walked back with the guy I have never met in person. He was laughing and glad to have me safe. I was wondering why the birds, why am I in this big jacket, why is my hair all big and curly and I look like an idiot? In the end.. I was enjoying being with him... I was curious about this new job, I was looking forward to making some money and having a home again. Hmm maybe the black bird and white bird were all of the "thinking" the yeses and nos that can keep you from an experience when you can just accept where you are and enjoy it for what it is... hmmmm

friends

Lots of dream about friends lately, but not remembering them all...

Other night had a dream about a friend I just met from Amsterdam. Not remembering a whole lot, only that he was organizing and planning things and something with food??

Then I had a dream about my friend Penny... ??

Then a dream about an old best friend that lives in LA now. She was at my grandparents' house and we were outside. They were harvesting apples at the time, but the weather was more like summer. Kirsten (my friend) had gone all spiritual. She was telling me about new techniques she had learned for all kinds of things... chi gong (sp?), intuition, and so on. It was kind of funny and frustrating at the same time I think.

I also dreamt I was openning a lot of mail and I thought they were bills, but it was all money coming in.... this one needs to come true.

aunt, carmel dessert, ??

I had a dream I was visiting my mom in the house I grew up in. I was going to stay for just a bit. She had other people living there in the backroom. Guys mostly, living there in trade for help with her house. I was looking in the fridge for some yogurt and there was only this single serving carmel dessert. I was trying to read the ingredients to see what it was and finally decided to just try it. When you pulled the plastic back it had a tiny ritter sport on the inside as a sample.

She had an aunt visiting or that moved in. In the dream she was Betty White. She couldn't stand the clutter in my mom's house. She was in the kitchen and said.. "I really think these magnets need to be put away." So she took them and stuck them to the inside of the fridge etc. She said "she won't notice and there just needs to be more clear visual space." She had an issue with her memory. She wasn't quite sure what day it was, what she was doing there, but she knew her history. She said she used to be in (a line of work I don't remember - she said a certain word, and I think it meant analysis, integration - and for teraxxx, art..., nutri...). I asked her what exactly it meant and I woke up before she told me.

no sleep

I went to bed about 10... then woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn't sleep. I started just counting my breath at about 4:30 hoping I'd fall asleep. I did.. and dreamt that I was giving away all my stuff to this friend. Her brother who was gay was all excited for me to give up my coat that had fur on it.. so he was jumping around saying.. I get the coat! Then I said to him... that I was a little sad ... I was giving away so much etc. He asked "is there any thing inparticular that you will miss the most?" I said "well.... " then I lost my voice and we both started laughing so hard that we fell over. Which then I woke to myself up snorting. :-s

snails/coworkers/job

Ok... had this dream I was staying at a friend's while he was out of town. He lives in Hamburg now. I was walking along and then looked inside a furniture shop. I was thinking maybe I needed some. It was some Italian leather couch place. I went in and picked up a black couch and walked out with it. I was a bit out of my own control. Then I took it to the apartment and looked for where I would sleep and something to eat. I fell asleep on the couch and then I heard some noise and it was some girl that he said might be there too. It was a bit uncomfortable. Then she left. Then I was sitting there and some older woman came. She looked down and saw a shell. I think she was going to pick it up to throw it away, but then she said.. These are the cutest little things. I thought it was empty but there is one inside. It was a cat squirrel thing. It lived coiled up in a shell like a snail, but it was furry, had the small head like a squirrel and hands it could use, but kind of like a cat too in that it was more flexible etc. It was pretty cute.

Then I was on some sort of business trip with coworkers. There were some men and women, all seemed to be from different countries. On of them and I were snuggling in the back of the car... then when he was talking to another guy... one of the other guys kissed me without asking. Then the first guy saw it, I felt horrible and there was nothing I could do. I remember us all getting out of the car and me sitting buy some small river/creek....

Then I got a new job (yeah!). This nice woman was telling me my duties and where to find things etc. Then I purchased stuff from her for my job. Then I was walking away with my bag of things, including some alcohol for some reason. I ran into some friends of mine and they were going my way to my new apartment and noticed what I had purchased.... that is about it

old house and death

Hmm had a dream I was at some sort of camp... just finding out where to live and be etc. I didn't feel safe there or like I could trust anyone.

Another dream. I was visiting a friend, maybe even going to live with her for a bit. It wasn't the best feeling. I felt out of place. She and her husband had bought my mom's house that I grew up in for most of my childhood. I felt funny parking outside and I didn't have full control of the car. Then I went inside and they were showing me where to put things and so on. They had done a lot of remodeling and added on to the house, but I could still see some parts of the old house. At one point it made me cry. I'm not sure if I was happy or sad. It just made me emotional. Then I was laying back somewhere... lots of other people lived there.... and I sort of was sleeping or thinking with my eyes closed. I could see black and then a light wave and I felt high or dizzy. Later I came to and the skinny Italian that lived there said.. you die twice. So I guess I was thinking, well his English is bad, maybe he meant I passed out twice. But then it was that I wasn't breathing and was "dead" twice and then revived. Strange.

Caves and Giant meat

Hmmm....

So the first dream I was in some cave.. it was all men, I was a man. There was some guy yelling at the front, but I knew he was asking all of us if we had ?? a certain something he wanted. I went back to my little nook in the cave an brought out a long piece of meat. I was going to give it to him if it would calm him down. He got what he needed before I brought the meat to him so I quickly turned around. I had actually wanted it for my meal. I went to back to my area and started cooking it on my little fire. I had a little dog (maybe a puppy) hidden there by the fire. I had to keep it close to it because it was the only area that was hidden by stone and I didn't want the other men to kill it. It was really sweet and I liked it but I don't think I realized how much the fire was too hot for him.

Then I was in a more present time, but not in a way. The clothing etc. was in the present time, but we lived by old society standards. I lived in a large home where there were ?? not sure if kings/queens, but they were something important. We (my mother and I) were relatives, but on a lower level. We lived with them and nicely enough, but you always felt the need to do as you were told, to stay out of the way and not to ask for much. It was very frustrating for me. I could see the others my age running around being brats. They really were not good for much. My mother had blamed ourselves for something that had gone wrong so we gave up a gift we were recently given to the family. It infuriated me. I was trying to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. They barely noticed the gift or the sentiment, so why waste one of our few treasures? She was busy cooking and I was outside looking about and noticed a giant and I mean GIANT pan had landed over out outdoor table, balanced by some trees and part of the roof. No one else seemed to care, so I went up and looked inside. It was full of meat. Again, GIANT slabs of cooked ham, sausages and so on. Giant meaning larger in circumference than a car. I was very excited like we had found hidden treasure. I wanted to quickly wrap it up and put it in the cellar to keep cool. Again, no one seemed to care. So I busied myself with getting paper to wrap it and cut it down to size... the other young ones were studying, looking for something to eat and so on. Not sure of the rest.. their father was involved somehow and I had some connection with the boy relative.

film like

Hmm I'm not remembering much. I know that I was watching and was at the same time this woman, very dainty with dark brown hair. I felt I was in the past but at the same time way in the future. Maybe kind of a post apocalypse type thing... where you start from square one. I felt like I was doing ok and knew my way around the ways of things but then all of a sudden I was captured and tied up, high in a town square, in my rags. It was cold, dark and rainy.. and then the colors were like it was being filmed like the movie 300. And the "camera" moved up... closer and closer to me but through my legs ( I was spread eagle) and closer than what a normal person could see..... odd

cowboy theme....

I had some dreams... just don't remember them (I slept in)

I remember one of them though... I was with a cowboy type and he was driving a carriage very fast..... through the night. He had figured a way to break the carriage in half and continue on with the horses to lose the people chasing us. .... that's about it.

germany

Ok.... I had a dream before this...

driving with someone to somewhere..... large vehicle...? ... some stressed involved

some people and I had been taking a class. The class was ?? not sure, but there was a next level. Everyone was asking me if I had bought the book yet and kind of without even thinking, I was looking to buy the book, a little stressed about it and so on. I realized I could have bought the book in the U.S. for much cheaper and here it would be expensive and hard to find. I was reading up in my book, looking at emails and other literature I had bought since in some advanced teachings. In all of the fuss and busyness of looking for the book... I realized that I didn't stop to think if I really wanted to even take the class. I didn't... so I stopped.

Then it went into me talking to other people that I knew back home that had tried to live in Germany. This gay couple I know.... they are super positive, try anything people. They came here and said... no, we wanted to go back home. It just wasn't a happy place for them. Then another friend he tried it. He works in the construction biz but in the dream in architecture.. he said... hmm it is too much for him. He said they are very strict with everything, which is good. He said you have good rules, which make things easier, but he said that it goes into your life. That if you joke about an architect etc.. or are lazy in your home life, and they find out, they said it reflects in your work reputation, and then if that happens, good architects won't want to work with you and if that happens, then you don't get to move up because you are always at the same level and never challenged by good architects.

Then I watched this tiny short woman. She was trying to make it in Germany. She is meeting people, getting out and so on. I think she is a hair dresser. She tries so hard, too hard. But she doesn't care. I am not sure what her original focus was, but now it has come down to just winning. It is not a good feeling to be around her. At one point there is a song playing and she is dancing with a couple she knows. A girl and her Swedish boyfriend. In the song there are words.. "take my hand" the woman puts her hand out to the swedish guy... she is wanting to go to Sweden.

hmmm.... less visuals in this one... more feelings...

next one in germany

ever

Buhdda boy

Last night I dreamt about a friend of mine that went off to a Buddhist monastery for a break in life. In my dream I was walking back to my high school (which is something I seem to have in dreams sometimes). I was initially looking for a parking spot. For some reason I didn't want to drive far. I found a spot, got out, was walking towards the front of the school and there was my friend. He looked much older.... lines on his face, crepe-ing skin, and he was wearing draped clothing and seemed to have a bit of a scraggly white beard. He had his kind of smile on his face... more with his eyes than with his mouth. He looked exhausted, happy, and sad all at the same time. I said "you're back!" I was really happy to see him... and really happy to see him happy. He took me to show me his room he was creating. While at the monastery, he (and maybe them) made a wooden alter of sorts...very nice but plain. He was humble about it and said it had been through a lot, so at one time looked better. A coworker of ours was there and kind of controlling... wanting to label what "this" was... his experience, the room he was creating, the reasons, what he should do next, and so on... I wanted her gone (mind you in reality, a very sweet person).

A previous dream... hmmm I was walking.. but seemed like I walked there before in the dream. I was trying to get home I think, which was a long walk. I was happy, because I was going to get to walk through this mountain area with rock formations. I hadn't been there in a long time. I walked through and the beautiful rock formations were all painted. Not by graffiti artists, but by a land developer. The entire rock was covered in orange and blue shapes and the land around it had new housing that was in between mobile homes and a house. Poor quality... gave me a sick feeling. I walked down the hill and then was with a girlfriend. I wasn't sure where to go.. and I don't think I had any money with me. We walked onto this car wash thing. It was part carnival ride, part car wash. Big and colorful. It was next to this restaurant, more of a fast food type place, so we slid down and went in. There were two men in there who we ended up knowing. One was Hugh Jackman (there is a wolverine poster on the way to my apartment ;)) and I'm not sure who the other one was. They were fighting, verbal and a bit... hmm not with fists but more with their feelings and anger. Hugh then somehow was my boyfriend. So I was waiting for him to be done so we could leave, but there was a nice feeling of not having to worry about anything because he was there watching out for me.

Rozen

Hmm in one dream I was repeating in my head... Rozen Plantz (in which a voice would say "kitty") Doesn't like plantz (and a voice would say Katze)...

I had another dream, I was in place/house/yard living with people. I was in the backyard, I think we were planning to do something illegal. My purse washed away and it had all of my money in it. I asked for someone to catcht it as it was flowing down the mud and they were not quick enough. I ran to the edge of the land where it had fallen and there was a steep jump into water. I was willing to do it, but then my dad said, watch out for the aligator! I looked and there was a huge alligator fighting with a gorilla. It had actually finally killed the gorilla that was down there. I decided not to jump. Then I was walking with my dad and stepmom. They were planning their wedding. We were looking at the places to do it and Charlotte was liking this one place. My dad said.. but I thought you liked the white house. She said.. oh I do.. we'll do it there. There was a party, people were drinking , eating, dancing... I was doing something and my mom was rude to me. I asked her to apologize and she wouldn't and other people thought it was mean of me to ask her to apologize.

Then someone was talking about this girl.. she wanted a different guy and was trying to woo him... they said it from of a guy who thought that the girl liked him. He was hurt... etc. The guy she really liked was hiding behind a couch.

Xmas themes

I think sometime last night after the 3rd or 4th wake up... I realized I would be moving out of this apartment on Dec. 22... so I would need to move right before Christmas... so why the dreams.

First I had a wee one where I was looking in one of the flower stores in germany for a small christmas tree. I was deciding if it was a good idea or not... I guess I decided not because the dream ended.

Then I had a dream... first it was in current times. It was more like I was observing a story between these people, not sure which but there were lovers, friends, relatives... then something happens and I'm walking through the snow... I'm am back in time and there is a cabin in the woods and the people are getting together for Christmas. The skinny Italian character in the present showed up last in this one, and with a british accent, with long hair and a leather daniel boone type jacket, and now with a southern accent. I, as the observer, could only stand at the door to peer in to what they were doing. There was a fire crackling, fur rug on the floor, people cozy in seats around the fire, food against one wall.. I looked at some of it and was hungry, so grabbed a couple of flakes of bread that had fallen off when the bread was cut. (In actuality my stomach had been waking me up all night with noises). An old man saw me and then offered me the bread crumbs. The people were gone now and I came in. I think I was going to sleep there or something but then I looked outside. I said.. Look at the moon! Oh my god, it is huge! He looked and agreed. It also had a picture on it. I was looking for something to put on... bras? I realized they were not mine, although pretty... and decided I was fine in what I was wearing, and went outside. The thing I thought was the moon, ended up being a large purple gray flying saucer type thing but it looked like a raft. Then the actual moon was still huge and very bright with some teen pop stars picture on it.

Another shorter dream... not xmas related... was I was just finishing up at the gym and changing. I saw that I had dropped my running jacket and picked it up and picked up two. The other was not mine, but very nice. I put it on the bench in my dressing room, now feeling guilty that I picked it up. Then I went to try on mine... and it wasn't mine either. :(

nuns, baby penquins and pigs

Ok.. misc. dreams last night

One I was with a friend.... we were at a fancy auction of sorts. Her in-laws have money. So someone was holding up this platter. It looked like trash to me but she exclaimed... "Oh it is a alkdjf!" and walked over to it saying how much she loved that artist. I could see she was getting approval from the in-laws for this, so I was happy they were getting along. I walked over to the next table and there were a couple of nun dolls. I thought.. I'll put my card on these. My step mom collects them and I could get these for her.. Then I picked one up and the nuns habit fell off... I put it back on and I saw the doll was only $2. I was relieved and at the same time confused why the doll was there. A nun and her little nun friend walked by while I was holding the doll. She looked at me as though I shouldn't be holding it, let alone be interested. I explained that my step mom used to be a nun and that now she isn't but she collects the dolls (in reality she was not a nun, just catholic). The alpha nun said with her head up as if she was wearing a neck brace, "she couldn't keep the focus (or something like that) huh?" I said "No, she really wanted to be a nun, but she didn't know herself well enough. And when she knew herself, she realized she wasn't one." and I walked away... Then I was at a work type place. We were in a building but one wall opened to the street. It was someone's birthday and everyone was supposed to go to this new trendy place for lunch. We went and the gimmick was that it was kind of a dessert swap. Every seating had two desserts. Mine were two gooey chocolate doughnuts. Then you were supposed to take one bite.. and then everyone moved to the right... and you take another bite and so on... I wasn't craving sweets and so I sat to the side where kids could sit and looked at the coloring books.

Then I had another dream. I was walking along a neighborhood street, but I think I was in Sweden (no idea what these look like). I was going to look for people that would let me walk their dogs so i could make some money. I was walking along and I saw up some stairs to a house, 2 baby penguins. They didn't look like baby penguins look. They were to balls of feather with yellow beaks sticking out. They seemed to give off an air that they knew what they were doing, but with the door cracked open and how they fumbled down the stairs, I could tell they escaped. I picked them both up and looked through the door... a middle aged couple (the new middle aged... late-ish 40s, early 50s) was inside. He was short and roundish with dark hair and a pleasant demeanor, she was tall and thin with short auburn hair, still pretty, but with more formality than her hubby. They looked over and saw I had the penguins and said oooh bring them in .. (as if it wasn't a big deal they escaped, but they were still thankful). The man looked out the door and tiny kittens were coming up too. He was saying how nice his cats were. Then one hairless was crawling up. I said.... are those tattoos???? The cat was covered in them. He said, no... I have a friend airbrush those on. S0, somehow I knew them in the past and they invited me in.. said I could stay, gave me a bed to sleep in and so on.. I went to go sleep in the bed and an exboyfriend was there. He crawled into bed with me and started to snuggle.. then I realized the bed was full of his computer, books, and so on.... I said .. these need to go or I go. So they went. Then I snuggled up to him and he said.. no. he doesn't like that... So I turned around and he snuggled up to me anyway.

Then I left the bed.. I was in the house but it somehow grew, had more people in it a couple I know, two little kids I don't, etc. The boyfriend of the couple was playing with that blow up clay.

Making little bombs etc... lighting things on fire. Then he would keep putting one by me to watch me run... he would laugh .. and then he would pull the wires out in the end. This last one he didn't get to in time and it blew a slash across his face. I said..it might not be bad but we need to get to the ER. Mind you.. the whole house of people had been milling around and the whole time it was a nice loving atmosphere. So we all start heading for the cars and I walk down some stairs and inside the house is an outside... a huge outside... it is a marsh area with a creak of sorts... The sun was just coming up and it was beautiful so I went to get my camera real quick to take a photo... then I could see the little kids in the water and the light reflecting on them , so wanted a nice pic, not that I could hold the camera still for the photo... it kept getting blurry (and when I looked at the screen I was taking a photo of someone with a white background adn they were wearing a white shirt with black suspenders and black pants... still blurry). Then the kids were running and saying I needed to run. I looked up and all I saw were deer in the creek... I was trying to take photos of them but they ran (I thought due to me). But then all these pigs were coming... I thought.. well then I will just take photos of the pigs.... Then water buffalo, ... so I would just take pictures of them.. they were cute.. Then they started charging at me.. so I ran to where the pigs were.. but they attacked me... full on biting me. One bit down on my arm and wouldn't let go so I ran and hit it and its head fell off and its body was in pieces. I didn't realize pigs disassembled so easily.. .

Cell phone soap pumps...

I had lots of dreams last night...

One I was in a new town. I thought I knew the streets better than I did.. I was walking around at night and then went into a grocery store for something to do... then it was a restaurant and I was trying to find the exit. I ended up in a blue truck with a mexican guy who worked at the restaurant. Apparently I had too much to drink at one point and gave him the idea that I liked him. Oops. So then I was asking him to take me home etc.. and it kind of faded from there.

Then I was at another restaurant in a different dream. I was going to meet this woman I had met in a class. We were going to discuss figuring out your mind versus your gut. I was excited to talk about this with her, but then she said she had plans with someone else and I would have to meet with her later.

Then another dream I was living with my brother and his friend (I lived with both of them about 19 years ago)... The one guy was getting frustrated with his cell phone. I asked him to show it to me and at first it was tiny and metallic pink. Then it seemed to grow into something that looked like a children's toy spaceship (still pink) with a clear pump on top. He said..."yeah... it reminds me of a soap pump." Then he started pumping it as if it was a soap dispenser and I started laughing at how ridiculous the phone looked and then I started laughing at my own laugh because it didn't sound like me.

hair dresser, surgery and mini horses

My last dream, I was at a hopital. I was there to get some sort of odd surgery on my heart, although there was nothing wrong with my heart. It was more of a preemptive surgery. I was pretty calm about it. I went in and my doctor was the one I had when I was little, Schluderman. When I was young he was very straight, very serious, never broke a smile. A slim blond man with a colorless face that smelled like soap. In this dream he was a little more "creative." He still didn't smile, but he was into "alternative" medicine. He and his nurse were telling me what to expect pre-surgery, giving me a little plastic device and telling me what to do with it and at what time. Then they were off behind the curtain to another patient. They told me the information so quickly that I didn't remember half of it. I looked down at the plastic device they gave me and I was thinking... I think they wanted me to pee in this... but today or tomorrow at 9? So I went through the hospital looking for him. I found him and my old boss in a room. She was getting the surgery first. I was trying to ask her what I should do next, but she was already gone on whatever they gave her to kill the pain. She was saying "those XX really worked.... I wasn't stressed at all!" etc. Then I looked around and there was a big spider on something I brushed off. Schluderman made a face. Then some baby pigs walked in the room, chickens, gray monkeys... I looked over to my friend Penny and she said..."oh... don't you remember. He works with animals, it is a new thing. It worked so great with me." The animals were supposed to be part of the treatment and heal you. I was like... "oooh... " really hoping that wasn't any part of my surgury. A nurse came over to me knowing what I wanted and said.. yes.. you should pee in that now.. your surgury isn't for another couple hours, but it is ok. Then she openned it to find that device was much much smaller than it looked and I had no idea how I was going to accomplish it. I decided to go back to the hotel where I was staying to complete the task. I had time. As I was leaving the room I could hear a little old lady talking about the cute little mice. She came through the door and had a little mouse in her hand (that actually looked like a little poodle). She swung back a curtain and put the poodle mouse back in its cage. I saw other little animals inside. They were all "dressed" like poodles. There was a tiny horse too... think the size of a plastic horse. I took that one for my walk back to the hotel. Since that is what the animals were there for, comforting. Then as I walked back.. I was outside and it looked like nyc, with the large sidewalks and tall buildings. Then I woke up...

Before that I dreamt that I was in some sort of school. A hairdresser I used to have was teaching a class there, but on photography. I was barely in the class or doing any of the work, so I wasn't feeling like I would pass. All of the other people were looking on some wall. It looked like the old report cards I would get in junior high before the official one came out... with hand written grades and observations. I looked for my name and I had an A. I went back to find the instructor (Scott).. and he was in bed in the classroom. I got in with him and took a nap. Then he had to go and I went to get my pants and he had left all of his clothes there... I was folding them up to take to him and .....

Solitary Man

woke up to Neil Diamond's "solitary man"..... I'm really not needing that as my motto this morning.

Dreamt... will have to see if it comes back to me .... I think there may have been a dog or some friendly animal that could think... that is about it.

Neil Gaiman... Killer dream

Ok.. I usually don't dream about torture or murder, but I read a short story by Neil Gaiman last night... "Queen of Knives" and I had a dream where I was the killer's "helper."

I was in a larger two story apartment (kind of posh) and there was a man in the place. I knew of him as a "boss." I needed to follow orders and stay on his good side. Part of me felt that this was all until I found a way to escape, so it wasn't that I was loyal to this person. I was following orders out of fear.

I was in the living area and organizing his things (he was a bit messy). Putting the remote controls in a line, moving papers in piles, tossing old receipts. There was movement of two people and conversation going up the stairs. Either this was an aquaintance, in which case it was better for me to be not seen or heard, or it was his next "project." If the latter, I needed to be at his side handing him what ever materials he needed. He yelled for me to come up... it was the latter. Dutifully, I went upstairs to see what he needed. Before me was my superior, kneeling on the floor putting tubes together. He looked like an ordinary man organizing wires to set up his new stereo. I looked beyond him and there was a blondish man in about his mid 40s. He was on his side, hands tied in front of him, feet tied in back.. but no gag. It was if he didn't realize what was happening to him because he didn't put up a fight. He just continued conversation, maybe explaining some better ways of putting him down besides Draino through a tube. My stomach turned.. what a horrible way to go. How could I be here...? My superior gave him a handful of pink chalky disks... The man ate them... I think it was to keep the acids down so he would continue to take the liquid. His mouth was foaming as he ate the pink disks...

Then I woke up.

marriage, hotels and undies

I know it was longer but I remember it starting here... it was like I woke up and I was married to this guy. We had just gotten married actually, and were with a group of people at his folks house I'm thinking. The group of people were either co-workers, from a class project, or something similar. We were finishing up a project and deciding how to divy up the duties until we met up next time. Someone had openned chips and chocolates... I asked someone to take it with them because it would go bad before we met up next time. This hispanic woman and myself decided to create a sign up sheet for next time as well. So we would have to have long discussions about who was doing what. She wanted to have it because she wanted dibs on cleaning the floors. So back the marriage thing. I was asking myself ... how did this happen?? I'm sure he is nice, but am not in love with him, I don't think it was physically possible to "consumate" the marriage due to his large overhanging belly. I was sick to my stomach and wondering either if I should a) go through with my decision and just buck up, or b) find the quickest way out. I didn't have to figure it out because I woke up to my next dream. I was in a hotel with an ex co-worker of mine, Danny (a male). He was staying at this hotel where it was just one room, the beds all against the wall, everyone had their own bathroom and there was a continental breakfast in the morning and computers with internet access lined up along the window in the room. He said he loved this hotel and wished more were like it. In the dream I partly thought it was strange, but then partly thought.... why not have all the beds in one room. You are sleeping anyway, so it made sense. I happened to be in sheer pink undies with black lace trim, a black bra and no shoes. I felt a little underdressed. I went to the computers to look something up, but the wires kept getting intermingled with other people's wires... I got up to go for a walk. I felt uncomfortable and a bit sleezy walking down the nice cafe laden street in my underwear... I was telling this to my friend Jason who was walking with me. I said.. you know what would work.. If I had perfectly fitting white oxfords on and my hair was just so.... then it wouldn't look so bad.

traveling dreaming

Had a ton of dreams while traveling, but didnät write them down.

last night a dream that included some sort of video game. I was at a big?? farm-wedding thing and one room had really big video game contraptions that felt really real, but then we ended up doing some reality activity that was partly dangerous? Then I was in a theater with someone new that I just started to like... and then I think I woke up...

Oh and had a dream that Sascha was right outside my door where I was sleeping... lightly saying my name to ask a question.. and trying and trying to wake up.... finally did to realize it was just a dream. But then checked my clock and he was just awake.

old dreams (spring 09)

Found this one on scratch paper.

Dreamt I overwatered my plants... my favorite plant that had lived the longest came out without its roots.

Then met this guy, work related, chubby, nice. I picked up my friend from Chicago in a small white car with the top down. We were driving downtown at night in it. Something about a concierge... Her luggage barely fit in my car. She complimented my luggage to the chubby guy. He was ready to compliment me on everything.

3/13/09
Woke up with the song Auld Lang Syne in my head. Looked it up.. had no idea it was Scottish.

I dreampt about working and being able to see a parade from the office window. Everyone was celebrating. I was leaving for lunch and was going to find some nice or special place to go. Then this quieter woman in the office got my attention. A small older black woman. She said the sandwiches in this shop are nice. I cringed on the inside because it looked like a cheap little corner market, but I went inside because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. There were all kinds of white bread sandwiches cut on the diagnal so you could see what kind they were. Ham, turkey, chicken salad etc. but they all seemed to have red jello in them. Then I spotted and egg salad with no jello. I found myself excited to eat it, having forgotten how much I liked egg salad. And then I thought ... what a nice, simple and affordable thing to like.

Then I had a dream ... I remember a dad ... a young girl I was helping.. and walking down stairs..

3/17/09
Had a dream about Sascha (friend from germany). He and I traveling. We saw Daryl Hannah with her mother. I was pointing her out to Sascha. Another about an ex's Dad.. he was smoking pot... Another I was working in a company. Mechanic?... Felt nice... family like
3/23/09
Dreamt that I was in some tiny car on a rail. Almost like a ride or old coal mine. I was with a child and we were heading straight for a wall... very fast. There was nothing we could do. I put my arms around the child to protect it as much as I could and at least to hide its eyes. Just at impact, we rolled some other way, we were fine. I started crying out of being scared/shocked and happy.

3/25/09
Dreamt that Michele (Italian guy) was an Oak Tree and I could felt close to him as a tree and love him. Also had a dream this curly haired blond guy was trying to get me to do yoga saying it was important or things would not go well. And then spiders (2) came after us. Then when I woke up, I looked at my white wall and saw a dark shadow about the sie of a small apple crawl up the wall. FREAKED me out!

4/3/09
Dreamt that I saw Peter (old friend of mine's husband) and was "ok" but funny feelings. And Dan, a guy that worked at Rodgers. I was topping by to say hi and they were looking at me like "get over it"..."move on" ... "We have." (this was after I had been going through a box of old letters and cards)
6/12/09
Dreamt this friend from NYC (d.j. anthony), was trying to get cozy with me and I didn't want to - so he thought I wasn't interested... Another ... was given a blue bird and it was so sweet. It was round and fluffy and snuggled right under my chin. I was looking for a place to put it but there was just a cage with a parakeet and the parakeet was mean. I thought they would fight, but the parakeet became sweet when it was around that bird. ... Another ... some unknown thing was pulling my blankets away but then grabbed me - wrapped me in the blankets and was moving me from one room to the next. I tried screaming and no sound came and then finallyh it did and I woke up. Rare that I can scream in my dreams.

Paintings, play and new sun hat

I think my dream started in some sort of class... but I know there was?? some guy there too.

Then I was walking on the beach at night, flipping through a painting book (like a book you would paint in or something...). I was looking at paintings of scenes in the rain, people in the rain... it was a bit abstract/stylized. I was thinking .. did I paint these??? Then I was meeting my brother and his wife just off the beach to go to a play. These young, hip Japanese people were outside saying... "great play, you should really go..." So we went inside to buy a ticket. I was wondering if I looked ok since I was walking on the beach and in my dream I was unaware of what I was wearing. I looked in a reflection and saw I was in a nice dark plaid wool coat and a wool cap and my hair actually look stylish. Then we went in the building and we were looking for the actual ticket counter since part of the building was a library and part was a museum. The book of paintings turned into a newspaper and I was looking around for where I could rcycle them, but couldn't find a place.

At the end I was with Tessa and I was all excited because I was wearing my new sun hat. It was white and actually fit. It was almost loose... but.. fit. ;) (I just bought one online last night... I have a big head). ;)

Baby food

Dreamt I was moving and my brother was at the same time, somehow from the same place. He wanted to pack stuff in my moving trucks because he didn't plan ahead and get one. I was like..."no, mine's packed." It wasn't but it was getting there. And I was a little irked that I should have to give up a convenience that I worked/planned for when Mr. Grasshopper didn't. My mom was with us and doing some ..."remember this?... and remember that?..." Then I was at the ocean with my dad and step mom. It was very steep to get to the actual water, but it looked so nice and I was excited to be in it. There was one section that the water came up higher in a safeish area, so I went over there to dip my feet in. There were things that would get stuck in these posts that were stuck in the ground. Some old swim suit catalog etc. Then I was with my aunt and she wanted me to help feed this baby (who I guess was my cousin's baby). So my aunt took hot water off the oven and poured it over an adult flake cereal and mixed lettuce. She also had some over ripe apricots cut up... in case the baby wouldn't eat it. And then a bowl of a left over mexican chili bowl, if the baby didn't eat those. Was horrible. The baby wouldn't eat it. I dumped it all in the garbage and was going to make at least just mushy flakes for the baby. I went upstairs to do something... came back down.... and it was like the house was a bit of an office (almost police/fbi). The agents were all over. I worked for them in a way since I worked in the house. My aunt saw me and said she was amazed that I got the baby to eat. I decided to zip my lip. The baby would make it known when she was hungry later. I left on my way... Which ended up being some sort of office in a big building. I shared an office with a couple other guys. T-shirt and shorts wearing, not focussed on work, kind of guys. I was about to leave for lunch or something and one of them followed me. I could tell he wanted to ask me out, which made me want to walk faster down the stair well.... he put me in a headlock and half dangled me over the edge of the stairs and then asked me out. Hmm... I was very stern and said "not funny!" And didn't talk to him the rest of the way down. And was a bit happy inside now that I had the perfect excuse to say no to him. On the way down the stairwell, there were locks on each rung of stairs. They were made by artisans at a local college. We were unlocking each one as we went down. Some girl came down behind us all annoyed. "Do we have to do that now?? I haven't unlocked locks here in 20 years." Then I was even happier and just ran down the stairs to the floor where my car was parked and... woke up.

Shed, bulls and mini-scalp

My first dream ... I saw a group of people (like 4 or 5) all huddled together and they were being pushed together by bulls. The bulls completely surrounded them... A bull from a distance was getting ready to charge the group which would kill them all.. All of the bulls had large horns (that no real bull would ever have). They had the lines of a ram and they encompassed the top part of the head. So the bull starts charging and then a different bull comes up just before he is about to hit, and jumps on top of the group, protecting it and rams the bull away... the people are so squeezed in... one woman comes out of the group from under the bull... and squeeezes out. Almost seems like childbirth... And it is a nice feeling to be free but at the same time a painful one.

Next one, I'm in a town, it is darkish. I group of men are walking down the main street (dirt road). All of the people in the town have already been killed. These men all wore black, long hair, and appeared to be native american... but some sort of dark group/gang. I knew if I stayed where I was behind a building... they would be able to easily catch me and kill me. So I needed to go out across the street and up this hill. In doing that, I would be seen. So I ran across the street...and I could sort of think myself up and fly a bit. So I did this awkwardly up the hill until I reached the top and ran into a house. The main guy was already up there and had me cornered. I knew I was going to die, so we walked towards each other. He was very tall.. I came up to his chest. He pulled out a large knife and said "I apologize that I have to do this" and he took the knife towards my head and cut off a piece of skin and hair... It was all bloody. He had done this to save me.. make it looke like he killed me. Then it was like we (he and I) moved into another world where we traveld together, went to some old market. I was looking at beads and kept rechoosing. Talked to some other people and they were talking about schooling etc. I don't remember much... but it felt like just living ...

The last one was of my highschool boyfriend. I was going out to meet him. I was in his house and he wasn't there... he was outside and knocked on the window for me to visit him in his workshop. I walked in and he had this large workshop... and within it a little raised shed of sorts with sliding glass doors on both sides (almost taking up the whole wall) and windows on either end. He would sit in there and talk to friend, work on little projects.... hide away

misc. boys

I dreamt I was in some sort of cafeteria. It seemed a bit hosipital/retirement home-esque. There was a guy there I was having a bit to eat with. (In reality I have never met this person, but he is some guy that requested to be on my facebook... who I haven't accepted yet....).

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Had another dream I ran across a guy I haven't talked to for about a year (for good reason). When I saw him though I really wanted to say hello and see how he was doing. I didn't get a chance to though.

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Dreamt that a friend of mine (who in reality recently met the man of her dreams)'s boyfriend was seeing another woman behind her back. I was looking for a mutual friend of ours to tell her and see what we should do...

satellite moon

I dreamt that I found out the moon isn't what we think it is. It was a round satellite that was sent out a looooooong time ago... made of metal, hollow.... etc. The surface has collected dirt and so on over the thousands, if not millions of years. It was originally sent out to reflect the sun for our evenings, but before the moon, we had only stars. It was kind of a sad thought for me in the dream. I hadn't realized how romantic and beautiful I thought it was until I found out it was a satellite.

You look way older ......

bits of my dream are left, but towards the end I went to some fancy new dessert place with some friends. They were selling a ? "find grind" gourmet rice crispy type thing. It was like they crushed the crispies first... flavored them.. then did a thin layer on the bottom of one flavor, then the top was another flavor and they cut them in long narrow rectangular shapes. Everyone seemed to like them.. they gave you special spoons etc. I walked over to the counter for some reason and the girl behind the corner and I were talking. We realized we were the same age and she goes "you are?!?!?!???" I was thinking she thought I looked so young for my age and then she said.... "you look soooo much older than me!" Hmph Then she went back in the kitchen because she was embarrassed... and started talking to the blond bearded chef .. and he said.. "say you mean to say younger etc..." And I told them... sorry... heard it, no problem.. and laughed...Then I went out of the place to the rest of the ?? mall ?? or and shopped at a nice store for a suit. I tried it one and it fit so good..... , but then when I went by some reflection it looked like my body changed. I left and went to put the clothes back and leave and then I woke up.

hairdresser and ratios

The night before last I dreamt that I went back to a hairdresser I used to go to. I wanted him to cut my hair. I sat in his chair as we chatted and he stood about a foot or more away from the chair and kept twirling it and would touch and fluff and spray my hair as I spun. It was like I was a lump of clay on a pottery wheel. When he was done I noticed he didn't cut anything... He said he thought it needed to grow.

...

Last night I dreamt that I was with my Spanish friend Tomas. We were going on a picnic of sorts. He was driving an older station wagon, something that felt practical but good, and we stopped in the country somewhere. Some open field, grass etc. Then three guys came buy... a blondish guy who was Italian, an older Italian man and then a taller man with dark hair, cut very close but he didn't say much. I only saw his back. The blond guy wanted me to come with them. He was saying we should be together, get married etc., the older man just wanted to talk... , sit, relax, eat and talk some more. I told the blond guy that I wouldnt' go with him. I was here today to have a picnic with my friend. He was disappointed but then left with the tall guy. The older man sat down with us and talked about a discovery. He was talking about the numbers 666 and how all this time we had confused these numbers for something they were not. He kept saying .. they are a ratio... like three dimensional (or something like it) ratio of sorts and that it has a lot of power. He said.. I broke a dish and used 666 to ?? capture/use the power of the breakage...

then I woke up.

Guns and ??

I dreamt that I was in some war zone in another country... it was where life was still happening while the war went on around us. I was in the wrong area... the ones being attacked ... or the ones not in the lead at least. I was trying to spy and find out where the weapons were, what kind and so on... I had photos.. one was of a pistol from WW II. (I had watched a video about a month ago on guns....). This old man (enemy).. took my photos... I tried to play dumb saying my dad would love to see a picture of this old gun etc... so I could get the photos back. Then they started showing me that the cost of the war was mainly due to bullet production.. guns were significant etc... but they ran through bullets like they were a renewable resource... and they would claim that you needed different bullets etc.. for different things... anyhoo....

The other dream now is just about gone... hmm.. was related to .... hmm was at a friends house uninvited. They were waking up and started making breakfast. Then some of their relatives came over... I felt in the way. I left with an unrelated friend to some culdesac to see some garage sale. I picked up some glasses and put them on my head... then walked around and they had some amazing items.. then I realized that this woman was an estates person and held auctions frequently... some items were pretty nice, but I felt in the way there too, so left.... don't remember much else...