samples catalog

Someone was setting up for a party for children. It was to be outside and I could see they had hot dog buns and things for a bbq. I asked if they had any vegetarian items just in case. One of the women realized they didn't so that they should go check. I said I could help. Then she went on to say that the reason they had all of this meat is that they just butchered a ?pig or cow? and needed to use it up. They also had a whole bird and a fawn :(. I told them I would put both of those items back in a cold place or freezer and see if there was any vegetarian sausages in the back or barn. The fawn and the bird were both wrapped in green transparent plastic bags. I put the fawn on my shoulder and held the bird with one hand. As I was walking back to the bark I saw a couple of people I knew (in the dream). The man was tall and blond and the woman was shorter. He was walking a dog. The dog kept jumping for the bird and I was holding it up as high as I could. I asked the man to please keep walking and take the dog away, but he kept complaining about the meat and the fawn and not paying any attention to the struggle. Then a white rabbit hopped over and I again begged the man to please leave as I didn't want the rabbit to get hurt, but he didn't seem to hear me or notice and the dog bit the rabbit. I ran over to go push the dog away but then the rabbit bit the dog. I think I stopped and was a bit puzzled but then felt the rabbit could take care of itself.

- - - - -

Then I dreamt I was staying at a house. It seemed like the house I grew up in a bit. An old friend of mine (R, DS's bf) was there. He was cheery and laughing. They were going to sleep in my old room on the floor. It seemed to be the next day and they were talking about the scary something in the corner and laughing about how they had reacted through the evening. I said, oh I know.. I have it all here. I told them that there was an old something/something camera in there from days gone by. The camera would photograph if things moved and could also capture what someone said and put it into text. So I was reading a print out of what they had said that evening and had photos that were greenish like night vision, with their eyes glowing, from the evening. The thing they were scared of was a plastic owl that had been in the corner of the room. It was kind of fun and funny. Then I was looking through some sort of a catalog while R continued to ramble on and giggle. It was a fabric samples or clothing samples catalog of sorts. When I would turn a page, there would be a glossy shot of a sweater top and then a smaller version actually bound in the catalog, but only half of it.. and the other half would be a of another sweater. Or they would have the whole sweater, but just one sleeve missing. I thought some of these might make an interesting sweater for a little girl, and some even I could wear. Then I came to a large brown envelope. It seemed almost like leather, with large white-ish stitches, but I think it was heave paper that was waxed and made to look this way. Either way, very nice and very sturdy. I opened it and there were a pile of sweaters, compressed down. The one on top was a fine gauge red polo type sweater with long sleeves. It looked like a men's. If it was, I was going to give it to R. He was already peeking over my shoulder and saying ... "I'll take that one!".. then there were a couple more that I was able to see... a light gray one with ruffles at the bottom and a light sea green one. It was lots of fun to look through.

race cars

First I dreamt about a coworker (SJB). She and I were supposed to do something that evening. First we were at some building. It looked almost just like the steel framework of a building, but done for artistic reasons. There was some art event there and people were leaving and or going to some other event somewhere else. We were left... and a woman that was older, maybe in her late 50s, artsy and wise to the world. Then we went back to SJB's to get ready for the other half of the evening. We both kind of needed to change, but then some friends were coming over. My Scottish friend (SS) came over. I was excited to see him and we hugged and started talking on the couch.

---

Then I dreamt I was a guy who worked on cars. I was him and at times was just observing. He had been rebuilding cars for a long time and was really good at it. He was working on a friend's car (or his) that was going to be in a big race. They always seemed to race against the large ?? company or this man that had a lot of money that would fund certain cars. This man was working on sabotaging me/him. He messed up one of the cars, was towing the other one away, was ruining relationships... Finally I/him stopped fighting against it and just said please... I won't race against you anymore... just let me do what I'm good at. That is all I want to do.

electric

I dreamt I was in a laboratory of some sort. It was loft like, 2-story and we were on the bottom floor. We were learning secretly about information about something that was happening to food to cause people to get sick. At first it seemed like we were talking about a man made organism, but then it turned into all electrical appliances. Either it was the magnetic fields in certain appliances that make a motor run, or just the pull of electricity, it would change the food as well as us in a negative way. A friend of mine was there (KM). She was telling me about some fun things she has been doing and her boyfriend was there too. They were both nice and both happy.

kittens

I dreamt I was living in a home that wasn't mine. I was living with a wealthy couple that had a son. They were laid back and very giving. I was at home by myself and was in a bedroom that was off of the kitchen. I saw a kitten come in... then a mouse, then another kitten. I thought the door must have been left open to the garage. I went to check and it was and their two dogs, large standard poodles were running around. I gathered the kittens and put them back in the garage. Then I walked into the kitchen and it was a mess. I didn't remember making it, but it looked like I had cooked the night before. Then I walked into the next room and was looking through the mail to see if there was anything there for me. There were just a couple of magazines, The Economist and some mail and a paper. Just as I was looking through them, the couple came home. I went straight back to the kitchen to clean things up the best I could without them noticing. They walked in and it was the last thing on their minds. They thought it was normal and continued to chat. Was I just overly careful? I thought for sure they would be upset. But for them it was ok that I lived normally like it was my home too.

should I tell?

There was a man trying to do something bad... He ha microorganisms or something that will control people or?? He had me running errands for him and threatened to kill people if I told anyone about it. One other coworker (BLG) knew about this. He was stressed about his job and was more focused on that than worrying about this man that might kill everyone. BLG was doing something a bit shady, but he was innocent in a way. Simply doing what felt right bouncing back and forth between fears and desires. I enjoyed his company and glad that he was with me on these errands. I was in a house running one of the errands and there were other people there I worked with (in reality have never met). I was thinking... just tell everyone, it would be freeing, you would have more people who knew who could either save themselves or might have a solution as well. The other half of me was thinking.. but with just a couple of us knowing, at least we could maneuver in and out of places, gathering tools and information without causing a mass panic and maybe stop this man on our own...

- - -

I had another dream I was a stewardess on a very nice plane. There were people on the plane from my past. I was making sure I was ready for when passengers arrived. There was lots of space on the plane, nice amenities and so on. The space was lit nicely and I was serving people full sized items in glass bottles and nice food. We had some special rooms to the side that looked like conference rooms. I noticed a person from my high school (JL) in one of the nice rooms, and then some more guys from high school (JimmyK, RichardP, Matt O, Wayne F) in another room. They were not allowed to talk to anyone as they were arrested for a white collar crime. They had created some sort of computer program. I walked in and looked at them all and said..."Now you can write a book!" in a cheery voice, thinking that they could make lemonade out of their sitiation. I was going to go tell JL that I saw them, but decided against it. Then I was talking to a woman I worked with 20 years ago (PL). She was talking about her freckles and how they bothered her. I thought they were cute. I said I really don't have any besides a couple at my temples. She was very nice to be around. Then we walked to a man who was a senator at one point. I was checking if he needed breakfast or any toiletries and he said that he was fine. He also said.. you are one of them that doesn't eat bread.. It felt like a statement of? like he was just saying.. oh, you play the violin? or you were born in America... like it was a fact and not a choice.

hot mustard

I dreamt I was an event at a hotel. I was there with lots of people I knew, like it was a family function. The hotel was away from the city, near the ocean, although I couldn't see it. It was just dark there like a story ocean side might be. The cars were pulling up in the courtyard of the hotel. The courtyard had pounded dirt ground and some mechanical thing in the middle. I went to find my room and drop off my things. Then I was told I needed to change rooms. The room I moved to was very luxurious feeling. Someone had left their suitcase in there. I was talking to a friend or my mother? and said... that must be Shawn's suitcase (a cousin, but in the dream was Gwyneth Paltrow). We were not sure, but when I opened the suitcase, it had Louis Vuitton lining and the outside of the suitcase was charcoal gray cashmere and wool, so I knew it was Shawn's/Gwyneth's. I left the room to go see what the thing was in the middle of the courtard. It was like a scientific set, but the machine was based on some ancient Asian way of doing things. There were cranks, pulleys and so on moving to time. There were these huge glass containers, one stacked on top of the other. The top one was filled with cabbage and chilies and other vegetables. The next, chickens and spices and the last, some dark green leaf vegetables. The crank would take the first one and tip it in a large pot in the middle.. it was making a soup and it knew just when to put in the next vegetables. The other side, they were making some special food for the festivities. This old Asian lady said it was traditional to make this next item. They would make it look like pastry, but pastry was bad luck. This would make people not eat it, but the people that knew the truth, could safely eat it and have enough food. The part that looked like dough was a mixture of hot mustard and brown sugar. It was made into a paste and shaped to look like a face on top of the concoction of meat and other items.

---

Then I dreamt I was in a store. I was supposed to work there, but it seemed no one was coming in. It was a holiday like the 4th of July. Two other workers were inside. They were sitting on a couch and not working either. I was sitting outside to watch if anyone came in. I fell asleep while watching. One woman timidly stepped through the door. I told her it was ok, we were still open. The people inside said to leave, we are not selling anything today. She left. I felt a little bad for her. I went inside and asked why they didn't let her in. They said they would close. I told them I hoped I didn't snore while I was asleep outside.

book

I dreamt a friend of mine (RVB) was just leaving for a trip (which he did today) and that he was telling me he bought the book I was reading and was excited to start it. I was thinking Noooooo.... I didn't want him to make assumptions about me from the book's content. I didn't tell him not to read it. I figured it was too late and if I said something it would make a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be.

Baker Street

Woke up to this song in my head...



Winding your way down on Baker Street
Light in your head, and dead on your feet
Well another crazy day
You drink the night away
And forget about everything
This city desert makes you feel so cold,
Its got so many people but its got no soul
And it's taken you so long to find out you were wrong
When you thought it held everything

You used to think that it was so easy
You used to say that it was so easy
But you're tryin', you're tryin' now
Another year and then you'd be happy
Just one more year and then you'd be happy
But you're cryin', you're cryin' now

Way down the street there's a light in his place
He opens the door
He's got that look on his face
And he asks you where you've been
You tell him who you've seen
And you talk about anything
He's got this dream about buyin' some land
He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands
And then he'll settle down
It's a quiet little town
And forget about everything
But you know he'll always keep movin'
You know he's never gonna stop movin'
'Cause he's rollin'
He's the rolling stone
And when you wake up it's a new mornin'
The sun is shining it's a new mornin'
And you're going, you're going home

3 little piggies

I had a weird dream or two. I had a dream I went to this wedding of this guy that I dated a few times (I just found out last night via facebook he was married)... It was HUGE, fancy, he had a "program" for the wedding that was a book of the "making of the wedding" I was sat by a couple of people I knew. and some old people. I went to go get in the line for food. I got in just when most of the stuff was gone. Just trying to get up from where I was sitting.. my dress kept getting stuck on some carpet staples and a guy tried to help me, but I helped myself before he could.. then I got in line and this other guy that was trying to help gave me his card, asked how I was getting home etc..., then I got in the food line and tried to find something edible. They had salads in teeny sauce cups, so barely worth picking up, the main food was gone, so I finally found some items I could put on my plate, but as I was going to sit down, my plate got stuck on something and everything fell. So I thought... heck with it and I was going to go on this train ride w/ the old people from the wedding. It went by different places in Portland. There was a 3 Little Piggies house (and I was thinking... I need to show my friend (MB) that!)... and some really reallly nice antique stores (treasure-city). I walked through one and picked up a glass frosted head of a greek man. It was neat but my hand had black oil on it, so I rubbed it over the whole head (looked kinda neat) but didn't have enough oil to cover the whole thing so set it down in a different part of the store.

I had another dream that this gal I talked to (woo whoo that talks to your guides)..was frustrated that I wasn't listening to her advice. She told me that I was going to come up with an idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I would be so sure about it that I would even start on it. Then as I was starting on it, I would find the real thing I wanted to do with my life and would switch to it....

lost cafe ..... home town

german guy soldier dressed like woman.... etc...
then in cafe... man walked by I thought I recognized.. he looked at me and shook his head no..

a fat downsyndrome girl in  achair saying... our day is coming up...

??

walking down a street at an intersection..I set my phone, hair clip and a drink on a car... it started to drive away..,. I took down the license plate plate  something VIK V1T or something... so I could find my phone later???

I walked further to a mall. There was a nice store, I think it was Nordstroms. Before going in the store you neither needed to register at a kiosk or have a member card and register at one of counters before even going through the entrance. I walked up to a woman and realized I didn't have my information out... so I turned around and turned back.

I walked by an information desk. A really nice lady with short dark hair was behind it. Little petite lady. I think I was getting help about my phone. She let me borrow the desk's cell phone and I was making some calls. I also asked her where to get a haircut. She wasn't allowed to give suggestions because it would be considered favoring a store, so she was smiling and opened up a catalog and pointed to a name... It was Nordstrom's and then she said Frank. She said even better that it is this late. He likes late appointments. She then booked an appointment for me there and gave me my confirmation. I thanked her and then realized I had an hour to kill, so walked around. I walked into a lighting store and then I realized I still had the phone. I was listening and it was a friend of mine from Italy. He was telling me where he wants to go in California and why. This place because it is sunny, that place because there is something to do etc.... I think I was listening to a message though because I couldn't talk to him. Then somehow I was hearing a call of him looking for me. He had been trying to get a hold of me but my phone was still gone. He was saying.. "my wife" etc.etc.etc... but we weren't married, I think he was saying this so that people would listen to him about finding me.

Forest grove.. in old house. A friend of mine had bought it. I was a little sad. I wanted it back. I looked across the street to the other houses. Things looked the same.. but then in the dream, the house across the street was stucko and I thought was an old apartment building, but they were turning it into a house/hostel. There was a cafe out front called Fairy. Inside I saw a woman, maybe in her 40s. She looked like maybe she was in a costume from the night before (it was morning and people were getting breakfast). She had red lipstick, blond hair all done up in an up do and was dressed in the period of the 40s. A guy in an army officer coat and kilt asked her out. She said yes and was happy about it. I was surprised. He had long hair on one side and the other side shaved off. He was also in his 40s.

eyes and ears

I dreamt a Scottish friend (SS) of mine came to visit with his daughter. I was excited to see him. I was to see him at one place, but then he ended up coming over to a friend's house (or...it seemed like a friend's, then my brother's then??). My brother had games out for a party. One of the games had these little gummy army men that moved. My friend SS said he was sorry that he couldn't spend more time visiting. His daughter was there and was a teenager going on 21. She was spoiled and making messes, saying rude things and trying to drink. I verbally let her have it. While I was doing that, my mind was saying.. "not your place really"... so it felt bad and appropriate at the same time. Another friend of mine (SK) was there and she was kind of a calm presence, abnormally wise and calm and in contrast, made me look like a nutter.

Then I was going on a trip.I had just arrived in Italy and a friend of mine from England (HK) showed up to show me where my hotel was. I felt as if I didn't plan well with him there, like he had taken care of something I had forgotten about. Although I felt like I would have been fine, I also felt glad he was there. This wasn't a normal terrain for Italy though. It was steep rocky hills of white rock with pathways carved out in them. They paths wound around and there were deep cliffs with clear blue water at the bottom. It was beautiful. I was so excited to be there. My friend was walking pretty fast ahead of me, but there was no other path, so I wasn't worried about losing him. I reached a hotel spot where I saw others with bags. I assumed that was the place. My friend wasn't there though and I felt like he went on past it. I remembered I was close to a friend there (who actually lives in Argentina (LSJ)), so I called him. At first I had a hard time getting connection, but I finally got him. He said he was sorry, but had I remembered that he would be in Ohio for a conference. I was sad we would not meet each other, but then went on with figuring out where I would check in. there were many people trying to check in and all nice. I sat down at a table with some soldiers. They were either Swedish or German. One fellow was tall and blond and we chatted. He flirted a bit and I back. He offered me a pencil that later was a fountain pen. He said it was a ??? army edition and I could have it as a gift and then he asked for my information. So I wrote with what was now a fountain pen. I told him it was nice although it seemed to scratch the paper with the metal at one moment and then write smoothly the next. Then I saw a family with boys. I followed them and then was in a Nathan Fillion's house. I had planned to rent a room there and found that a father and his son had also planned to do this. The father kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't feel comfortable around him, but his kid seemed nice enough. Nathan went to show me where I would sleep. It was in a very small hallway with a low ceiling. I felt claustrophobic and didn't want to be there.I saw the son and father would sleep right across from me as well. I looked around the house, which was quite large, and found a living room. I thought I could sleep on the couch. But then just past the living room was a room that had what looked to be a trampoline, then it seemed as though there were two.. but then it was really a place to dry sweaters. I asked if it would be ok if I just slept there. He didn't seem to use them and they were comfortable. I think the thought that was ok.

Then I was back on a boat floating over the beautiful blue water again. It was almost as if it was lit from below. I was with a friend from the east coast (MG) and she was happy and laughing. We were having a good time on the boat. Then we paused to pick up more passengers and I saw a woman I thought she had worked with. and mentioned it. The woman came aboard. She was a tiny older lady, but with a younger physique and had a cute little dress on. I admired how energetic and happy she was. She was talking about something and I said.. well.. with eyes in the back of your head I can see why... She actually did have to slits with eye under her hair in the back of her head... and then she lifted the side hair and showed me 3 more ears of various sizes.

convertible

I was in something and was supposed to change. I was with some people at a party and I seemed to have the wrong dress on, then was in the wrong room, then was at the wrong time ... but I felt "right."

I was going to sleep at my friends and he had a nice place, all white and clean. He had a convertible in there though and the roof was dirty with little dried flowers from a tree. It wasn't like him, he is a very clean person.

toilet paper

I dreamt I was at a friend's house. In reality, I don't know any of the people, but it seemed I went there often. They were earthy types and always had big feasts, casual atmosphere and had people over. I had usually brought some wine to add to the functions and would stay over from time to time. Everyone was getting ready to leave. I was the last in the shower and to get ready. They were heading out the door and I was looking for something, so they were waiting on me. I felt uncomfortable about it. I could either hear them or knew what they were thinking... that I always stay over and "use" their place and eat their food. I was shocked a bit. Why would they think something like that. I always had brought things... had been invited.  I found my keys and told them I would drive myself. They took off in a green van... old one. I went around the street looking for my car. It was an area that hadn't been finished. No sidewalks, cars parked on the sides of roads. I couldn't find my car. I clicked the alarm thing to see if I would hear it beep or see the lights come on. Nothing... I kept walking and was in a used lot of cars. I clicked the thing again and saw lights flashed, but there were so many cars I didn't see which one it was. I did it again and the same. One more time and I found it. The car that lit up was an older black Porsche. This was not my car. I told the dealer what had happened and he grimaced. He said that he had bought some spare parts this morning and they must have been stolen... so my car had been stripped and they used the alarm chip in this Porsche. :(

Then I was trying to sell a car, I'm not sure if it was the Porsche or mine. I met a guy that seemed like a NYC Italian fella. He was a little rough around the edges, but had a good heart. We met at a diner and my mom came along with me. We exchanged papers and the deal was done. It was so easy. Felt nice that something could be easy for once.

Then I was working in an office. My desk was in front of a wall that had a window cut out with no glass. I was getting situated, it seemed like either a new job or a new desk. As I sat down I saw there were two desks on the other side of the window. A woman that was really loud came over. I was thinking oh no.... and I was right. It was a woman that didn't care too much for me... or at least wasn't so nice to me. She was moving her desk right across from me. I figured it would all work out in the end...

Then I was needed downstairs for some event. I had a skirt on but it was all wrinkled. My boss said... no no .. you look fine, really (and she meant it). I brought out a soft long skirt and a feminine top and put it on. I told her I thought this would be better (although counter intuitive because it didn't look professional at all). She said ok.. what ever I liked. Then I went downstairs which seemed to be in a field. I went to a booth of sorts where I was supposed to be stationed for the day. A friend of mine (RH) brought me toilet paper and I was supposed to stack it under my booth. Most of it was old and cheap, but one set was printed on with brown and gold stargazer lilies. Not my thing, but I thought a friend of mine might like them (PC). I was supposed to put the metal thing inside each one. There were pieces missing and and I didn't have enough. I thought... why don't some people take care of their things?? Then an older Asian lady came by and she was sweeping. I was trying to talk to her and be friendly, but she seemed to be busy.
tessa, others....
leaving, finding keys... wanted to drive self
said I always eat their food etc...
they elft.. I went to find car.. couldn't find it... on used lot.. pushed button.. porsche lighted up.... guy said he bought the parts this morning.. must have been stolen... still couldnt find car

going to sell a car.. had to meet a guy... cafe.... mom was there... he was like a nyc italian type... but nice.... bough car...

at work... had a desk with a cut out window to anotehr biz.. a gal started workin on the other side... wasn't sure I liked her..

getting dressed for work or?? had a skirt on was wrinkled... top was ok... asked the boss for help... she said it was ok, might want to iron it.. I showed her a differet outfit.. long skirt that might be better... she said ok

was at a thing?? in my booth... roberto brought by tp for me.. I was putting the inside thing in them... pieces were missing.... why were pieces always missing... why would people do that?  some of the toilet papers was cheap... soem fancy with a stargazer lily pattern in brown and gold... lady came by ... asian.... worked the event

memory

I dreamt that I was with a group of colleagues. I call them that because they were not really friends, but we all had something in common. We were part of a group of people with certain skills or talents. We were together that day to perform mental exercises and take tests. It didn't feel stressful, so I don't think the tests were to weed anyone out, but just to continue to stretch ourselves. We had been hanging out in a house of sorts, very open. There were snacks and things all over the room for us to "play" with. Our next test would be to remember how to put something together. It was a pile of metal objects, many looking almost identical, but with slight differences. We needed to know how to put them back in order. I had remembered a memory exercise from a book "Moonwalking with Einstein" so I used this for the first metal part. It had Dakane stamped on the metal. I imagined a rich young man by the name of Dak standing at the front door of the house I grew up in and he was holding a tube of ointment (something ending in -ane). I guess it worked. I felt like I was a little behind everyone else.. or that I hadn't worked as hard. There was a blond fellow there that looked like a young Leonardo Di Caprio .. he seemed very serious and was putting his all into it.  I felt as though maybe I was being lazy and not working hard enough, but I also knew that I never had to... I was just able to do it naturally. 

soda bags

First I dreamt about work and our web sites. We were to create videos for each site and I was managing them. I asked each one of the stakeholders to look at each piece of content on our site and to ask themselves... would this make you interested in our service? If not, it needed to go.

Then I dreamt I was in a village. It was like going back in time a bit, a simpler time, but also a bit futuristic. The streets were dirt and a bit dusty. There was an old town store. An old man was outside with a cart cutting up chickens. It was almost as if it was half real and half for show. I wasn't sure. I purchased a pop but instead of being in a bottle, it was in a baggy that was shaped like a bottle. You would tear the top off and drink it that way and then the bag was biodegradable. I was sipping my pop and sitting behind the man. I didn't want to see the chickens getting chopped. He made me feel uncomfortable so I left. Then I went into a building. A man was there that was giving massages. He was really nice and handsome. He was my friend's masseuse and he was offering me a free massage. I accepted and he sat me in a chair and then he would use these dials on the side to move this table like thing in front of me. It was like a school desk. The idea was to get it to right under your armpits so that your arms would not hang at all and then he would massage your arms and shoulders from the front while they were immobilized by the desk type thing. Before he completed he asked if I wanted chips. I said sure.. (as if he was asking if I needed some water first). He was gone a while and my friend came in. I wasn't sure if she liked the fact that I was going to her masseuse. I said "he sure is taking his time getting the chips." She gave me a hard time because she said.. well he has to go to the store first to get them. He came back and finished securing my arms. 

on the move

I was driving down the highway and a friend of mine was behind me. I saw this antique love seat/chair on the side of the road, then another, then another... I decided to pull over and my friend followed. It was a queen anne styled love seat that had white legs and wood work and a light blue velvet cushion. You could see the paint had chipped a few times and the white had been painted over it without them sanding the chips smooth. I thought they were nice and that we should pick them up. We looked further down the road and it seemed there was some sort of outdoor bazaar going on. We thought antique show?  I was excited to see more unique furniture, but when we arrived we saw many antique chairs on highway.... stopping to see
roadside antique show? Instead of antiques, there seemed to be many sarcophagus from different times. They were not all Egyptian. Some were Celtic, some were newer and in a classical style, some were Victorian, some were lacking in good artisanship. Many were made of red marble mixed with a gray stone. I told my friend that I preferred the classical style ones. We were wondering why they were out there. It seemed they had been found a long time ago, but they lacked the funds for a museum, so put them out for the people to see.

Then I dreamt I was going to give a friend of mine (KS) something. She was on a vacation with her boyfriend and when I finally reached them, they were staying in a huge tent. It looked like a play tent for kids. It had an air filled bottom that was bouncy and it looked either like a fake castle or a carousel on the outside. I could seem them inside and they were having a nice time.

Then I dreamt I was in an office working. I had an office that was very private, and I didn't really see anyone all day. Normally this would be something I liked, autonomy, but I didn't. A coworker moved out of her office which was surrounded by windows and in the middle of where people walked in and out. I moved in there. I was looking forward to seeing people during the day and interacting. Although I knew it wouldn't be for long because I was planning on leaving the company. 

bad foundation

I dreamt my house was being redone. I looked under the house and it was wet with mud, a stream passing nearby and just bare timbers holding it up. Although it felt a mess, it did feel cleared enough for a new foundation to be put in. Some guys rode by in dirt bikes. They looked like trouble, but I knew they wouldn't bother me. At one time I would have been scared though.

Then I went into the basement. It was a daylight basement with windows. The window panes were made of wood and not sealed well. It looked like they were lightly brushed with black paint, but you could still see the wood grain and it would soak up water easily. There were clear tarps hanging from the ceiling here and there. It was hard to see across the room, but it was light from the outside.

The upstairs was more done. Although it didn't feel right. It wasn't my style really. I guess I had left it that was because it was there..  A neighbor man came by saying good night. I felt uncomfortable about how the interaction felt and I ran upstairs and saw him trying to break in from the top window. I yelled at him and rand towards the window to shut it and he left.

Then I was just waiting for people to get home... I was making food, but really didn't have any food there that I could eat. I seemed to be allergic to it all.

sleeping arrangements

I dreamt that I was at some convention of sorts. There were two Frenchmen that were stylists. One was trying to sell me a curling iron. It was very large in diameter and had air that would blow through it. I was kind of excited that it existed and was about to buy it when the other man showed me their gadget which looked like two black bristled broom heads that faced each other and you would brush your hair straight somehow. It looked too awkward, and not what I needed...

Then I dreamt I was walking up to this bungalo near the ocean. It was up a hill that was peppered with sea grass. There were women in the house. I almost felt like I was sneaking. Like I was going to borrow the house for a bit if it had been empty.

Then I was sleeping on the floor with some friends. Each of us had a different sleeping arrangement. One on a pad which was on top of a folded blanket, I was on just a pad, another straight on the floor with no pillow and so on. I was happy that each of us had a different arrangement because we would all be able to share a different experience with each other and learn which was best. When we woke, I talked to my friend who was sleeping on the floor. He wanted to talk to me about some things I had said. I didn't know what he was talking about..... I guess in my sleep I had said some bad things to him. I felt horrible and out of control. Not at that moment, but that my ?? body would do things against my will.

square steak

I was in an area near the river. It was populated but felt dark. I dream of this area often although I don't know it.

Then I dreamt of the president of the company where I work. He was talking about his son and what he should do for a living. I was remembering about myself, while he was talking, that I thought it would be the perfect balance for half of my day to be physical and the other half being mental. Why had I forgotten that?
While the conversations were going, I was cooking myself a steak. The steak was a perfect square about 12" x 12" and about 2 inches or more thick. I noticed on the side that it had the cross section of an organ in it. It was moving as though it was breathing. I asked my coworker (SB) if she thought it was an organ as well. She said yes. I was thinking it wasn't so good for me to eat. I hung the steak up on a clothes line with clothes pins and the organ was still breathing. Then a hole opened and it was black inside and it was pushing air in and out through that hole. It didn't scare me but I was very curious and wanted to figure out what it meant. Then I was distracted by what else was cooking. She was cooking fish and we had too much. Some white fish, some salmon and we figured we should freeze some of it. The white fish which was sort of ready to eat, wasn't cooked all the way.

Then I was waiting for a friend (TB) and her kids. She was taking so long and I was hungry, so I started looking through a menu. I saw pasta and so took a fork and was basically eating it from the menu. I hadn't had pasta in a long time and was looking forward to it but it really didn't taste like much. I was disappointed.
She was finally ready to leave but I had just started eating, but I had to go...

Then I was in a bar with some friends (although I didnt' know any of them). The bar manager, a pretty woman in her 40s, that looked more like a stiff business woman, came over and clamped one of my friends arms. I say clamped because she had a large heavy duty plastic ... almost robotic sleeve/glove over her arm that made her strong as well as protected her arm. It allowed her to grip the girl strongly and protected her in case the woman defended herself. She was accusing my friend of stealing. I felt strange. I knew my friend hadn't stolen anything, I knew this woman was overreacting, I knew I could defend my friend and be successful, but I was neutral to it all. I wasn't stressed, I wasn't mad at the woman. It was as if I knew none of this was my business, my responsibility, and so on and it would work itself out. I didn't need to give my attention to it. It was kind of peaceful.

Then a large Samoan guy came over to me. I guess we were dating? He wanted to lovey dovey and I wasnt' interested. 

Then I was looking out on the patio... and someone created a mobile. It was two asian styled rectangle frame things, one inside the other and could spin independently, and a photo/drawing inside of a woman who had?? talents or powers. I thought it was pretty and I wanted one or to make one, but the woman there said she stole the photo so wasn't sure if it was ok for anyone to have. 

pregnant guest

I was in a mall with a friend shopping for something. I felt a little lost in the mall, annoyed by the situation, by my friend whom I felt like she was an interruption in my efficiency. I was still able to carry on, but felt a bit dragged down.
Then I was in an apartment building and moving. It was a strange place in that it felt somewhat like a hotel, somewhat like a dorm and somewhat like barracks. Residents items where in the hallway and this was normal. Everyone seemed to know and/or trust each other there and it was a very busy and social place with contant change. I seemed to be moving. My clothes were on a rack in the hallway. I think they were things I was going to get rid of and I was just needing to find someone or some place that would take them. While walking to my place, I saw an apartment open with a strange girl in there. She was very blond, pale and pregnant. I knew she was using the place without permission, but it didn't bother me. She wasn't hurting anything and the tenant wouldn't know she had been there. I was with a couple of girlfriends who were keeping me company during the move. I was telling them to check out the clothes to see if there was anything that fit them and giving back clothes to one of them who had recently lost weight.
I bumped into a green upholstered chair and remembered I needed to give it to a guy friend of mine (GH). who lived down the hall.

I was walking through my kitchen and there was a bathroom off of it. The door was half open and the pregnant blond girl was in there. She looked a bit nervous that I caught her. I told her not to worry. She could stay as long as she needed and if she needed some clothes, to help herself.

dress up

I was in a room at my friend's house. I was actually living there and she was in the other room getting ready. I sat on the floor and seemed like I was just waking up, but the room was rearranged. Had I done that? I wanted to explain to her what I had done, why I had done it and that I could change it back. I was just experimenting... but I didn't want it to make her feel uneasy or that I was trying to take over her space.  Then a friend came over. Someone in reality I don't know. She had short blond hair and I complimented her because I thought she looked so much better than.. before?  She was nice and happy. It was nice to be around her. My other friend was still in the next room, but playing dress up with Keira Knightley. She was in some 17th century getup and they were laughing and having fun. I said "see! costumes can be fun!" but my friend said.. still not for me.. just for other people. Then while sitting on the floor and the blond girl sitting in an orange upholstered chair, I through a pen to try and make it land inside an open cabinet door. Instead it stuck like a dart in the side of the chair. We both started laughing. I was slightly worried that some of the ink would stain the chair, but it somehow landed in a grommet that I hadn't noticed. Then my friend was about to leave for work and I was alone there but with her daughter (which she doesn't have). She was a mischievous little girl and I didn't like the idea of having to watch her. I also had to take a shower and was wondering if my things would be ok around her. I had journals and was quickly trying to remember if any of the content was inappropriate for her or something that I wanted to keep private.

rabbit suit

I dreamt of a rabbit suit... a person in it. It felt empty and nonsensical. Then the man inside took the head off and he was wearing a pin stripe business suit. Hair all coiffed perfectly, straight back... He felt a bit appropriate, but almost like all the energy in him was put into that suit or his shell. Then I saw a guy from work... he felt like he represented being in the "cool" group, the in crowd, the one who is "in" on things... Then they all felt like something like... a chip that you can crumble in one hand and turns to dust. So not real... they didn't carry any weight or life

apology

There are bits before in this dream that I don't remember. I'm driving along 101 on the coast line. It is a beautiful day, breezy and I'm looking out across the ocean. All of a sudden I see a guy riding a scooter? or a motorcycle , what ever it was, it seemed small and so was he. He had red hair, a red helmet and glasses. I could only see the back of the woman, who had long brown hair tied back in a low pony tail and she was riding in front of him on a bike. I hadn't hit them but they startled me and since I hadn't been aware of them, I thought I would roll down my window and say sorry in case I crossed in front of their path at all. The red headed man was from a workshop I attended recently who was having some challenges. When I apologized, he snapped back at me. I was a bit insulted, and frustrated that he reacted that way. I was being nice, let alone I hadn't really done anything to them. I tried again to explain, having to keep to his speed with my car, he softened.... and again... and finally a smile. I only felt better in that he felt better, but the effort for the response I'm not sure was worth it. Did I really need this stranger to smile or understand the situation if  I was ok with it?

Then I was driving through a tunnel and a new friend of mine (RvB) was with me. It was a beautiful tunnel. It was rock that was carved out by nature and so when driving through it, windows of sea could be seen from one side and a river and trees on the other. I parked on the side. I told him... "see? it really is pretty here!" I don't feel like I convinced  him. He then asked if we could get to the beach from this spot. In my mind I was thinking not, but I wasn't sure. Before I could answer, a man that had been traveling behind us, was bouncing out across the sand through one of the windows of the tunnel. There was a dip in my feelings... I'm not sure if it was due to not knowing the answer?  or that I was just here to get my friend this far... and then he would go on his own to his next discoveries 

next to the ropes

I dreamt was at a pub initially with some friends, but then I was alone. The pub was a bit sparse, but people were there for an event and it was about to get crouded. It looked like an Irish pub, wood floors, a bit worn, cozy and lots of character. I had paid for a ticket I guess to watch a boxing match. My brother showed up and I told him what was going on. We were early enough that they hadn't tied off the area where the boxing would be (old school, no the floor in the middle of the bar). He said, I'll leave and go buy a ticket and I was trying to convince him to stay. If he left, he would lose a great spot next to the ropes and I knew it was fine with the owner.

easy chair

I dreamt that I was at my brother's house. It looked like the place in my previous dream. A bit of disarray, stressful feeling trying to be covered up by colorful decorations and antics. I wanted to get out, I wanted to feel better. My brother suggested that we all (there were a number of people there) get into the Jacuzzi. I looked over to this brown leather easy chair. The Jacuzzi was inside of it. It was kind of a new trend that you could keep your Jacuzzi in your house without it take up too much space. I flipped the seat cushion forward, snapped the arms out to the sides and the back outward and folded it in half and voila, there was the water. It was half full and kind of dirty. I told my brother he needed to clean it before anyone could get in. He flushed the water out and turned something on to fill it. The water that came out was dark, almost black. I looked and walked away knowing that I wouldn't enter.

- - -

Then a small dream that I was in a nice relationship with a guy. He looked at me and said.. " you do know you will have to lose this  ... " pointing to my sides etc. meaning I needed to lose weight ".... if we are going to stay together.



??

Focus

I was with some people in a room. I'm not sure if we lived together, but we were going to be there a while together. The room was kind of dark, kind of hodgepodge. An oriental rug here, a leather chair there, some modest decor. It didn't look well or feel well. It felt  strained, scattered, not focused. Something like someone was thinking about either being positive or being critical about something... but in not choosing, only critical cold win.   We were together for some ... reason, some purpose, some goal. I felt like we were putting our minds together to create some major world change. The change to be made would be experienced by all, but not made in a physical way. We seemed to be changing ourselves... and "strongly"  for lack of a better word. Changed so  much that it would affect the world in a ripple effect sort of way. 

I dreamt that a guy I know kept begging me for something... I think it was something like going to dinner or paying for something or ??. Something trivial. I was frustrated. Why couldn't he take no for an answer? Also, I could tell that it was all that he wanted from me.So that was extra annoying. Having someone consciously use you.

bird house

I was coming up to a small house. It was on a grassy hill, but still in the neighborhood. I think it looked like it was on a hill because the house was so small in comparison to the yard and it was raised up from the street. The house was yellow. At first I thought it was just a pretend house... something someone made for people to look at, but as I walked closer, you could see it was meant to live in. It was built like a bird house, an A frame roof that went out to the houses farthest point and then the walls of the house angled in a bit to the foundation. The bottom part of the house was painted a high gloss yellow and the upper half a matte yellow. At that point it turned from a curiosity to that I had an appointment to look at the house to purchase. I walked in and it was very tiny. The Kitchen and dining room made for one half of the house the bathroom and all purpose room for the rest. I thought how could they sell such a small house and why would they build such a thing? I took a second look and backed down from that idea. I thought I could live here actually, easily and simply. I was thinking back to how many square feet my first house was and this was supposed to be close, but I couldn't see how.  I looked at the fridge and saw a sheet of paper stuck on the freezer. As I walked closer I saw a few photos of some men. It was a warning that these men are in the neighborhood and have done and are capable of doing some bad things. It was a bit scary. I was wondering if this location was a good idea, but somehow I thought .. yes, it would be fine. I looked out the kitchen window to my car wondering if I had locked it. I knew I had a radio in the back seat and a new pair of boots... maybe a coat and possibly the rest of my life (documents, clothes and so on). I could see I probably hadn't while reassuring myself that it would be fine. As I walked out the front door, my car was gone. I could hear the engine sound trailing off down the street. There is no way I could have caught it. It felt horrible. Granted... I could live without these things, insurance would replace the car, but... I think I almost felt worse that it felt like my fault. Had I only not left it unlocked, had I only not left pricey items in view.... Had I only not been lazy...

Two nice older couples came up to me to see if I was alright. They saw what happened and wanted to help. They were asking if they could follow the car for me, help me look for it or drive me somewhere. I knew they had an agenda that day... it was sunny and a weekend. I told them thank you, that is nice, but I'll be fine.
One of the men was driving a cube van. It was white and the license said he was from the north, although my gut said he was from the south.

I walked down around the neighborhood hoping to find some clues. In some way or other I ended up being pulled somewhere by this couple. I think the old man or someone helpful was with me (maybe Josh Foer? author of the book I'm reading).  They were the couple who stole my car. They were both fair haired and looked like nice people, but they were threatening. They were asking for money in trade for my car. I felt trapped and didn't want to put up with it. I took the girl by the neck and forced her to the ground having some supposed handhold on her neck that was life threatening (although I had no plans to cause any harm). I told him to let us go or she would get hurt. He was beyond reasoning. He was anger, cement, a negative charge, spit and fire all rolled up into one. I wasn't sure any of it would work. I didn't want to scare the girl, but I knew I had to leave.

---

I was going to wash some dishes. There was no sink, so I went to wash them in the bath tub. A friend (LN) told me not to. He said when the tub was made, they didn't make them for this like they do now. Which now they advertise them like "even a man can wash things now"  in a bathtub.. I was trying to learn a foreign language at the same time.

children

I don't remember much of this dream but just the presence of children. Not doing anything in particular, but just there, being children, but sort of adult as well. The feeling was they were more mature and wise than adults under the guise of being playful. And adults were more immature and ran their life from their ego , under the guise of being serious.

ID, new way

I was trying to get home. I was supposed to meet up with a friend of mine (BM). I was to use his ID to return a rental boat or something. I was nervous that I didn't have my own ID and felt strange using his. I should have my own, I didn't want to follow in his footsteps and I wanted to make my own way. Although him helping me was a very nice feeling. I was worried but decided to just go and show up and see what happened.

----
There was a big car and a nice little car. My friend really liked the old big car and I said I liked both. In reality I liked the little car, but I appreciated why someone would like the big car, but I would never want it for myself.
-------------------
I had another dream where I met some friends in some cafe in Berlin. It was a casual meeting (I had thought) and was kind of late. They gave me gifts and I felt bad but then realized it was my birthday. One gave me a little gift bag that I would look through later and another gave me a small paper plate with a vegan meal on it, carrots and gravy that did not look appetizing.  I had put the plate on my left shoulder and walked to a movie theater. It was kind of like an art school and they were showing a movie that night. I fit in but didn't, mostly didn't. There were some chairs set up like a normal movie theater and then a flat open space right in front of the screen with a piano to the side. I decided to sit down there, so I found a chair and started putting my things down. I noticed the plate fell off of my shoulder, so I went to pick it up and to see if any gravy got on my clothes or my hair. I was glad it fell because I didn't want the meal, just felt like I should show appreciation for the gift. I felt there was someone there to be nice to me too... in the same manner or feeling of the dream with the boat, but I wasn't looking for them or not seeing them.

------

I had another dream that I was helping to manage a stage theater. A band was there waiting to set up. They asked me which way the stage was. I was about to give them this long description knowing they would get lost with it, so I paused. It was a way I had always went but it was long, with many turns and seemed awkward. The main reason I took it was because it was a way I knew and the door was close. Just about 10 feet away was another door that some how took you straight to the stage by walking down a hallway, no turns and no way to get lost. I was thinking... why don't I take that way? Just because the door isn't in front of me? Because i'm not used to it?  I told them the new way.

shortcuts

I was in a foreign country. I think Germany maybe?  I was talking to some friends there that were from that country. They were commenting on "Americans" this and "Americans" that.... basically stereotyping all the thing that supposedly all Americans do or are like. I was listening to them partially agreeing with the tinges of truth with little bits of defensiveness,knowing it was more work than it was worth to explain the intricacies of such a large country.  I had to go meet some people and so I decided to take a short cut through a shopping mall. It was quite the shortcut as I realized that it took much longer by underground and walking than by going through a few stores. It felt nice to go through the mall. Something about it felt familiar and so less stressful to navigate.

Reminds me of the hiking dream.

beach detective

I dreamt I was at the coast. I had been staying in a cottage for some function a friend was holding and then needed to go to the next location. I could actually get home in one day, but for some reason thought it would be nice to stay another night in a town farther down the coast that was on the way home. I checked into another little cottage, more of a motel really. It was simple and old, but warm and dry. I left to go to some diner. I was in the lobbyesque area where there are two glass doors at opposite ends before you reach the main entry. There was a man that I was meeting that was there to help me. I hadn't sought him out, but somehow he knew that I was up to something and knew that I would be in danger and needed help.  I had and was looking for information. This information would reveal something about someone. I felt like I had to hide what I knew at the same time look and ask for it. The man I met was more wise in the area of hunting down information, snooping and staying out of sight than I was. I was glad to have him around. He made me feel safe but at the same time held my activities to high standards. If I couldn't keep pace, he wasn't going to be dragged down by me.

club, 2 paths, fishing

I dreamt I was in a car with a guy. I know I didn't like him, that he wasn't my type (he was flashy, into money and showing off), that I didn't want to spend time with him, but I was still with him. We were headed to a late night club to meet a couple of my friends, who were not really my friends, who I was seeing to have someone to spend time with. It was late and the building was curved so you could park in a half circle around it. I saw close parking spots, but he kept going around to the back. I just wanted to get in and get out and actually not be seen.

 - - -

I had been on a hike with some friends and I think my brother. We left from a farm which felt like my grandparent's farm. It had a feeling of comfort, ease, and security. We packed up and went for a long hike through which seemed like red rock, the kind you might see in monument valley but smoother, and the path  was all next to a river. There were trees along the way, I remember eating cherries at one tree. It was a nice hike and I felt like I knew where I was going. We spent the night at one location and everyone had gone ahead. I knew this and or had agreed to it. It didn't feel bad or wrong. I was packing up my things but having a hard time concentrating. I would start packing, then clean up one section, then wonder if I should go to the bathroom, or if I should eat something, basically not getting any one thing done. It didn't feel good to be scattered. I also didn't know where I was going although I knew of some paths I could take. At one point I had a bird's eye view of the paths. One path was along the river and I could see it would take much longer. It wound back and forth and had water and trees which I like. The other path was very straight and through the canyon. It would be quick and direct to the destination. I wasn't sure which way to go.Although I knew I would enjoy the water, part of me liked the idea of speeding through. I didn't know which way to go.
- - - - - -
I dreamt that some friends were fishing. I really wasn't interested in fishing but felt like I was being a poor sport for not. I decided to go along with them, but not fish. We all went into an above ground pool and the guys had their gear on (wading boot/overalls) and my one friend brought his daughter with him and was going to teach her how to fish. They went into the pool and were casting their lines out into the grass. I didn't understand why they were doing this. This wasn't fishing. They daughter tried to cast, but the line would get caught at the edge of the pool or in the grass. I went to go help her untangle the line but I felt that there was no point. It was going to continue on being a mess and there was no opportunity to actually fish.

triplets

Hmm had another dream regarding names. It is foggy, but there were three men in suits with Beatles haircuts. They looked identical and there was something important about their names regarding who they were, would be and how it represented them. 

last name

I dreamt of a guy that looked sort of like Johnny Depp, sort of like a friend of mine from NY. He had the feel of both of them... kind of adventurous, artsy, following their gut. He was telling me his name (which I don't remember now). I said it really didn't suit him. His original last name was McKenzie or McKinnan and that seemed to work well with him and his career. But then his mother remarried and he adopted his step dad's last name which was Tattoo. He didn't like it either. It didn't fit with who he was becoming. 

bad shoes and barbie head

My dream started off with me having a birthday dinner with my family. For some reason it landed on Easter and so they took me out for an Easter brunch. It was my mom, her boyfriend, grandmother, brother, his wife and a German guy I met once in an Irish pub. We were sitting at a wooden table outside on the deck. I looked over to another table full of older ladies. One of them looked like an friend of mine's mother that I hadn't seen in years. I wanted to make sure then I could tell she was trying to figure out the same thing about me. So I waved, which as soon as I did, I realized it wasn't her and she didn't understand why I was waving. Another woman at the table kept looking at me too, but in kind of a ?? hmm... She wanted my attention.

So, the brunch was ending and my family paid. I felt bad for them paying but then realized it was for my birthday. I looked at the gift I was given. It was a pair of .. not so pretty shoes. They were very flat, very wide, very shapeless. I thought, well... I'm sure they are comfortable.. I should give them a try (or turn them in for something else). I  and my German friend were looking for the bathroom. I pointed them out to him and headed in the same direction. Then it went to me being in the upstairs of the building. It was almost like a youth hostel... casual, worn furniture, a pool table. I was sitting on the floor. My friend was there but then he was gone, so I continued to wait. Then I had my head in my hands... like detached from my body (although I was seeing out of the normal placement of my head and eyes). It was interesting to see my head from an outsider's perspective turning it this way and that. As I turned it around I realized I was trying to avoid looking at the eyes. It felt scary. I put the head down for a second and the eyes opened, clear and blue looking blankly at me. I quickly picked it up and turned it around to put it back on.

wedding exposure

At the beginning of the dream, I was helping set up for a wedding. It was for my step mom. When I was young, I always felt she was the bell of the ball, and she was here too. She seemed younger and everyone was doing this for her. I was all in raggy clothing after having been working on the set up. Her extended family was showing up in nice cars and clothing and I was needing to leave. They asked why and I was telling them I needed to dress nice too. Part of me felt less than, part of me felt out of place or not like the rest of them. As I was walking away, I walked by a blondish guy. He resembled a guy I had a crush on in first grade.... Patrick. Kind of a quiet guy that seemed thoughtful. He also seemed like a mix of another fellow I had a crush on when I was 18 and a mix of different blond characters that were always somewhat quiet, inwardly strong and I respected. Walking by him made me feel good.

Then it seemed the wedding was over, and I was in bed in a house I was sharing with some other wedding goers. I was getting flashbacks of the night before. Everyone was pretty drunk and silly, but for whatever reason, it was ok for them (in my mind) but not me. I felt exposed, stupid and so on. I realized I wasn't alone in bed. The guy I like had just walked in the house and I was panicked that him seeing that I was in bed with this other fellow would ruin things (although we had both been just sleeping because it was a place to sleep). When my friend showed up, a few people did cause a bit of a hubbub and the guy in bed left and others left. They fellow I liked just continued to do what he was doing, and asked if I was hungry and if anyone wanted to head over to subway to get something. I was a bit relieved. I knew that what we had was stronger than one experience blowing away what we had. As we were walking to the subway, people were asking each other what they would get. I had something in mind with pickles and turkey. Someone said... people who get that are ??? somethings. I think I was defensive at first and then it was ok to be a ??? something I decided.. it was what I was.

Then I was in some hotel. I was walking up the stairs to my room. We were all scantily clad and I was feeling exposed. It was a similar situation in that... although we were all in the same situation, I felt more out of place or in the wrong than the others. I walked to the very top of the stairs hoping to avoid being seen. I would peek out a bit here and there to see the others. Then for whatever reason I thought... guess what.. you have to do abc.. you need to get these things done for yourself, exposed or not. Go... (live)... and so I walked down through them and I felt relieved. 

two ships

I was in a friend's parents' boat in the front of their house. It needed some fixing inside, but I was going to be living in it for a while. They were kind and nice seeming. I had woken and was kind of in my own world regarding time and what I would be doing that day. He (kaz) went from the house down the stairs to another boat parked along the street. He called or texted me to come over. I said I can't, I need to take a shower and and and.... which was always my story with him. He was frustrated, but expected it and so didn't stop asking.

new language

I had an intense dream, although I am missing the details. I know I was speaking another language and working with a foreign government. A blond stern looking man was barking orders of what needed to happen. It wasn't a bad thing though. It felt exciting and like I was part of something. 

excuse

I had a dream about my family. I was home in the house we lived in and both my brother and myself were living there. I felt as though we were our current age and my mom was her current age. I was frustrated. I didn't feel like anyone understood the situation that I was going through. No one listened. And in having lived in that situation and possibly not being heard, it was my excuse to be less than and not live up to my potential. It was interesting to feel the strong feelings of struggle, loneliness in not being  understood and so on, but at the same time thinking what a waste of all of these years.

frog

The dream was part cartoon ... the frog. Myself and some people were swimming. We were having a good time I think...  and there was a frog in there with us. He was a cartoon, but you could tell he was having fun and happy too.... One of the women start not seeming happy. She was on the surface, but was angry or bitter, then another man was nervous... when these things happened the frog would get hurt or sink. I dove down to get the frog and brought him back to his floatie. He seemed to be doing ok again, but I was worried... but that didn't help him. The more these people were  unhappy, or we worried about him not being happy he would sink. The way to make him not sink, was to just be happy. The frog died. :(

punishment

being in a pub with a high school friend and?? and wanting to order... but possibly too late.... wanted one thing... fries sounded good but knew not good for me and everyone else ordered healthy. mike from uk ordered potato salad

then bartender asked us to write a list of the seats.... table 1 - seat 1,2,3  so 1-1, 1-2, etc. to estimate #of orders or something like that..... or check for mistakes. I found one, almost in a "found one!" sort of way and overheard the bartender saying that if he had enough issues, and his license is checked (he was in trouble for something in the past).... minor, and if they found out, his job would be gone, so I got rid of the information....

dreamt of WW (friend in the Netherlands) ... and crossing intersections... he said each time you cross one you have to pay.... I don't remember him paying so I was asking for clarification... maybe he meant something else?? I said we don't pay here..... he said of course you don't in america..... but blah blah etc... like it was a higher thing (in the way it is "higher" to live hard or live with less or no pain, no gain) to have to pay to get through something...

sophie, dresses, ex's

First I dreamt of my dog Sophie. I havent' had her since 2004 and she might have passed away by now. In my dream I was watching her for someone else in a house. She was being cute and playful as always. I was walking her around in town and she was about to dart out in the road, so I picked her up. I could feel how soft her fur was etc. (she was a lhasa apso). I said something like... maybe you should be my dog again... she agreed some how. It felt nice and right.

- - - -

I went to an exboyfriend's house. I had forgotten I had left some things. I had some little piece of furniture and then a pile of clothes I had forgotten about. Most of the clothes were new and they were dresses and some shoes. I was excited because I didn't feel I had enough clothes and they were also fun. When I am low on clothes, I tend to buy practical things. My exboyfriend was there with me and he was being very nice and helpful. I think we were past anything that was uncomfortable and remembering the nice things. His brother was there too. He was showing me a headboard he made for me. He said he had the idea before we broke up, but he had finally finished it and would like me to have it. It was different in that the back of the headboard had one corner touching the wall as normal and as you went to the other corner that supported the bed that  would normally be against the wall, it went out at about a 30 degree angle away from it. In the space between the bed and the wall was a flat surface and there was a small sink (In the dream my wall in my bedroom had plumbing there). I thought... I guess that could be handy...??  But it was very nice of him and it felt very nice. I went to my car to drive it closer to get my clothes, and when I came back, his mother (who wasn't my biggest fan) had sold my clothes in a garage sale she was having. I was kind of mad, but more I was wanting to hunt down the person and get the things back. I knew they had to be close. I was only gone a second. I had everyone looking for me and we finally found all of the clothes. The mother wanted to look through everything to make sure.. she was almost going to charge me for them... (and really, I didn't care... just wanted them). She saw one dress that wasn't mine. At this point she turned into a boss I had on the weekends when I was in high school. She was a bit of a know it all, a bit controlling. When she started talking I immediately tensed up and was on the defense. I had the feeling that she is someone who controls, tries to take your freedom away and so on. But my reaction was to defend even if there was nothing to defend against. But I got my things and was on my way...

- - - -

Not sure where this one started... but I had some complication going on between my exboyfriend from high school and some other students. It is like in high school when everyone gets involved with a relationship like it is an old village and they are all working together to make sure things go ok. Kind of sweet in a way looking back at it. But at some point I was in a store. I was about to go on vacation and didn't have many things, so I thought I should buy at least a couple of light tops. I was walking and found a nice light blue-green one that was not so much a t-shirt, so it could be worn for nicer things. At this point a clerk walked up to me that knew me. A guy classmate had come in and was looking for me. I told him thank you and that I would hide amongst the clothes for a while. I had been having a nice time leisurely shopping and didn't want to stop yet. I had a few things under my arm and wanted to try them on and then I ran into more classmates. They were saying that guy A was saying we went out, but what about guy B and so on. I said I hadn't seen anyone in a year, so they maybe have a good imagination. They were all being friendly and nice and mainly were concerned for my well being as much as their's. We sat near the registers. There were some steps and some displays near us with some small hand bags, belts and things. there was a silver frog that was standing with a large opening for his mouth. I kind of wanted to buy it for the office to hold my pencils. I was looking at these things as my friends were talking. One friend was saying that she had just lost some more weight (she was larger but now very small). She was all happy, but the friend next to her had gained and wasn't showing that she was super happy for her. The guy that had come looking for me was sitting by me. I had always had a crush on him in high school and he had always been nice.

- - - - - -

Then some dream I was working... having lunch or dinner at a restaurant. The woman was serving us in a speedy manner. She was apologizing for her manner in a way, saying "people think because I am fast, that I'm being rude, but I'm just trying to be efficient and get everything everyone needs." I told her I didn't mind. She didn't seem rude as much as not pleasant to be around. We were about to pay the bill and my friend and I were figuring out tip and cash or credit and so on... He had dropped some money and I had picked it up and then there was confusion about tip. He thought I would tip her too much and I had said no.... I just want to make sure she is tipped.

dalai lama

I dreamt I was part of this group of people. Not sure if it was a work group, a school, or???  I was asked to make a fan ? or a ??? for the dalai lama that was visiting. I had to make it out of red and orange tissue paper or cloth that was given to me. I had a second of a feeling of "how do I do this??" and "why me?" and "will my colleagues be upset I was chosen?" The second went quick. I had a task to perform, I was happy to perform it and I knew it would come to me on how to do it. I went into the room where he would speak. It was a small room with about 4 to 5 rows of tables covered in red cloth that were low to the ground. I went to the back row and started wrapping and twisting and had just about finished. I could hear people milling into the room. One of the head people was saying "why are we using orange and red together, that is just stupid." I wondered for a second if I should take the orange out of my project, but realized that is what the dalai lama was wearing."  A man came by me and wanted to sit by me, but I could also see he was checking the table. I looked up and had realized there were name cards on the tables as to where you should sit. The dalai lama was in the room at this time and was looking around pleased. I had one more thing to fasten on the thing I was making but thought I had better find my correct seat. I looked around and I was at the front. I saw that we had a notebook at each sitting and some supplies. I wondered if it was ok to use tape to finish. I decided to go ahead and use it. 

cake

I remember the end of the dream... my hair was horrible. The last person who covered for my hairdresser damaged it and I didn't feel like I could go out. My normal one was out for surgery. I went back into the salon hoping they could help me or cut it. I went in and they were milling about chatting. I think some event in the salon was going to happen. The women were the kind that are boisterous and laughed loud, but were sad and angry on the inside. The more sharp and loud their laugh, the more pain the were feeling. I thought I should first ask how my hairdresser was doing after surgery and I'm not sure I had an answer, but she was fine and then in the salon. I didn't feel like I could ask for my needs to be met because they seemed all busy with theirs. Due to her returning, they had a cake for her. It was a shallow sheet cake almost like a jelly roll pan and the frosting was designed in to squares with a dot of frosting in the middle of each. Easier to cut etc. As they left, I was eating the cake... first one piece, then two... then I realized I had a handful of pieces and it was noticeable. I'm not sure why I was eating it. I wanted to leave and I didn't care for cake so much. I heard someone walking up to the door and saying.. oh that "fill in name"  ... she has zero control over her eating. I felt stuck like I should hide the cake.

basement apartment

I was driving my car home realizing I had been back home 3 days and hadn't checked for an important letter. For some reason, I wasn't supposed to be driving. A police car was sticking its nose out of a mcdonalds driveway and so I saw him, panicked and then turned down the next street and parked in someone else's driveway and started to walk away thinking I would walk home. I realized that would defeat the "getting the important letter" purpose, so I turned around to walk back. I could hear a voice that sounded like my dad's. I looked up and saw that he was at some music equipment store across the street. I walked quickly and avoided his eyes. He saw me. I kept walking and went straight to my car. I knew he would be busy for a few more minutes. I walked back to my car and there was a man there... seemed homeless and he was talking to me loudly and I was trying to be invisible. It wasn't working and my dad came around the corner. I said I was in a hurry... had to pick someone up and I guess I took off. Although I really stayed there. Some women were showing me a basement apartment. It wasn't quite finished but it would due for the price and it had oddly high ceilings for being a basement. A young couple came in.. young woman that was french I think and very pretty and lithe and a young man that would bounce back and forth from being black or asian. She had come to see me because I was known (in the dream) for my design skills with clothing and 3D visual ability to solve problems with shapes. She sort of irritated me from the first moment. At first I thought... oh...maybe I'm just jealous because they are young, free spirited, attractive and following their hearts... why hadn't I? But then I realized it was more that she was trying to get by things.. not necessarily in an intentional way, but she herself wasn't aware of herself, her surroundings, how she affected other things and others. I was showing her a way of creating a pattern and was telling her to be very careful of the what looked like very thing but somewhat flexible mirror sheets. She barely listened to me and then broke one with a dumb look on her face and no hint of an intention to replace it or utter an apology... More like it was a natural disaster that couldn't be helped.

movie, fiesta ...???

I dreamt I was in a movie theater with friends and family. The movie was playing and it was dark. There was a control panel on the seat back in front of me and it was to watch previews of other movies. I pushed play and didn't realize it would be in a 3D hologram type thing. A man that seemed a little larger than a human popped out of the panel and leaned over me while other items came out the sides, but I didn't notice those so much. He was the main focus and telling the story of the movie. I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying because I was embarrassed that I pushed play during the movie and was disturbing other movie goers. The feeling of this 3D character was nice. Although I could see through him, he also seemed and felt (emotionally) real. I didn't want the projection to stop because it seemed like it was the only thing happening to me that was nice.  A boy walked by and was excited about the projection just as it stopped and he was asking how he could see it too. Then we left.. my mom was in it. Not a good feeling with her again.

We left here and were?? not sure where. I think there had been a Christmas of sorts or? There were present type things around. Some little dolls that when I was younger (in my dream)... had some meaning for me. Originally they were Christmas dolls and they had decided to make them in fall colors. Normally I think I would have liked the idea, but this time I didn't. It felt like hmm... like taking away from something... using another's idea... making for making's sake to make money without the original intent.

We were walking back to the apartment and then I think it was just me. I'm not sure what city I was living, but the area didn't seem so nice. A friend (MW) of a friend stopped over meaning to see my friend (MB). I was getting ready to go out (must have taken a shower at some point) and he was chit chatting. We were talking about exercise. I knew that (MB) had criticized him for doing Pilates, but I liked it... so I brought up that I liked it out of the blue and he was so happy to share with someone how good it was for him. I was then telling him about some I'm doing and so on. Then as I was leaving he asked me something about (MB) and if I knew blah blah... and I did know blah blah.... so we had something else shared.

I went outside and there were stacks and stacks of bread next to light poles. The bakeries would leave them there instead of throwing it out over night. I thought it was strange that people were not taking them (homeless, birds and so on). The neighbors in the small apartment were having a party for their daughter. They didn't speak English, but they were cooking and decorating and the mother was in good spirits and excited. We (it wasn't really my apartment... maybe MB's), shared a backyard and she was going into MB's fridge to get some supplies. Some friends were yelling at her to let her know it is not a community fridge, but she was only taking one quarter of a water melon and some strawberries. She was making a bit of a sculpture with it to be eaten later. 

yelling colors

Last night... horrible dream. I was at my mom's and I felt ?? enclosed? controlled? etc. I was trying to tell her things but she wouldn't believe me. I was screaming (the truth) at her and he just wouldn't listen... I woke up breathing super hard and fast. Was weird.

-----

Then I had a dream I was in school.. First I was in a playground and found some gloves.... first some leather, then I realized there were a few pairs, all black, all different and all new. Initially I thought I should take them to the lost and found, but then I kind of wanted to try them on... and also thought.. hmm... all of these new gloves that are random, probably someone stole them (more of an excuse to not turn them in). I thought I would go try them on first in the office and then turn them in. I was trying to but the a short haired blond woman asked if I had found some clothes.... I said no.... then later I said... well these gloves. I knew she had been involved in shady stuff and I just didn't want to be a part. Then I was looking in the school and everything was soft and colorful. They said it was a new design they were trying at our school. Bouncy floors and walls and strange things to climb. I thought this would all be nice as long as nothing would spill on it.

tomato sauce

I dreamt I was at this small restaurant. I knew some of the people that worked there. This Italian guy was the main chef and?? I was thinking of getting a part time job there as a waitress while I went back to school for ?? A friend of mine asked for an application for me. This little old Italian man worked there too. I was late there one night and the Italian guy was saying how busy he was. He had to work there all day and then at night made the tomato sauces. One spicy for pizza and one more mild for pasta. I think he was hinting that I could do that job. I liked the idea because I wasn't really into my schedule changing each week and being a waitress. I said I would do it. I was peeling and seeding tomatoes while we talked. The next day the old man came in to taste the sauces. I was feeling like they were not up to par because the tomatoes I used didn't have much flavor. I knew he thought so too, but also was expecting worse from my first try.

- - -

I was with a friend of mine from Chicago. She had an old brown station wagon and we were off doing some errands for her. She went into a store and I was getting bored waiting, so I went in too. I was a little concerned because I didn't lock the car with the little dog, but it was also a very small town. We left the store to find the wagon and the dog. She was saying... you want to watch a movie tonight? There is that movie done by the same guy as "the breakfast club."  I knew what she meant, but didn't really want to see it.

costume

I dreamt I was with schoolmates I've never met before. We were all to attend a costume party and I was supposed to go as someone from the Renaissance  .... white wig, large dress etc. I was running through my mind of where to find things. A little stressed... a little excited... I knew I had stockings... and I would make it happen. It was something too fun to mess up.  Then there was a car ... it ran out of gas... the whole dream felt like an out of luck, out of money student... scraping to get by to do fun things... but still in a stressful way. 

waiting room and Peter Jackson

I dreamt I walked into a waiting room. There was a couch with divided cushions and a wooden frame against the wall facing me and then the wall to the right seemed to be beyond my vision and the reception was to the left.

There were a few people in there, some I felt I knew, others felt like strangers. I immediately noticed a guitar case shaped thing on the floor and knew I wanted it. It seemed there was a sort of antiques or estate sale going on in the waiting room. I was rustling for dollars in my wallet as I walked up to it wanting to make my claim. For some reason I knew the item was $13.00 and I knew I had enough. It was a case like a guitar but it seemed larger, like a bass, but flat like a guitar case. The case itself was a warm brown color with blond stitching and the inside was a blond tweed look. The body of the case opened up to reveal a turn table, cassette players and a cd player. I took an old album out and tested it. It sounded amazing. I was so happy to have found it. It was two things that I liked... something old with a story and good quality. I went back to waiting room mode and an old high school mate walked in. I had recently seen him at a reunion, but this version of him was almost morphing him between his high school appearance and present time. He was excited and high spirited, half way between the past and the future and very unsure of who he was and was here for a change. He seemed to know he wanted it for sure and that he would get it.

Then the right wall that I couldn't see before was an opening to the outside. There seemed to be a large gathering ... like a reunion. Peter Jackson came up to me. He felt like an old friend. He was showing me this metal object in his hand. It was almost like a large egg shape on top but ornate and beautiful and then was larger on the bottom. I'm not sure what it was meant for. I commented on in and the said something like ... aaah... it comes with the job.. people giving you things like this... We got on a little scooter with a trailer hitched to the back. He was riding... We were driving through the grass on a small path and we tipped over slightly. It was easy to pick it up, as it was so small, but we decided a drive through an orchard on the soft ground might not be a good idea, so we turned back. We ended up back at the gathering... it was getting to be dusk and there were lights hanging in the trees. There was an outdoor bar, but I really didn't want a drink...

drought...

Hmm.. having a hard time remembering my dreams lately... which is odd for me.

I was checking out places with a friend.... not sure where or why...

I had a few dreams... about 3... and I think they all (including the above) felt like they had to do with testing, analyzing and choosing... Like I have pared things down to the last few choices, and with these I am to dig deeper, get clear and go ahead and make the choice. Not frenetically, but promptly.