butt of the ...

 I dreamt I was riding my bike and I needed a light for my bike. I saw a store owner that I knew casually. She was walking out of the store and I knew I was probably too early. I was right, the store was closed and she was on her way out to run some errands. I was playing with some of the lights that were hanking from a display. I didn't really want that kind anyway and so I moved along.

Then I was at some sort of pub. I think it was a chain, like a sports bar. I was there with some coworkers (one being Caitlin from wagged). There were two groups of us. One was more of a fun group, the other a little more competitive and critical. I was with the first group and I guess I had an iPad in my lap. There was some spoof web site that included some new movie or event and a couple of sponsor companies with fun stuff on their site. I was shocked to find a company I worked for was on there (WE). Our game in that room was done, so some of the group left and the rest went in to continue to play some game in the other room. The game was taking a chalk board eraser type thing and sliding it down the table, trying to hit a point on the wall. It was my turn next, but I was at a disadvantaged spot at the table. I was at a bend in an L and there was a sitting body between my "eraser" and my target. I said I needed a new spot and as I got up, I felt a little tipsy and not level. I then realized I was probably also talking a little loud and would probably do a poor job at aiming. I sat down and Caitlin made some snide comment about how much beer I had that night. I shrugged sat down and took my shot and I hit the spot dead on with a quick clip. Everyone gasped and I felt I gained a little, but decided to be done with the game.

Then I was in a room with friends. KU and her husband, baby and some siblings. The siblings seemed as though they were in their early teens and I kind of felt the same age. There was a baby and a roundy old man there too. I had some purchases in a bag on the coffee table. I knew there was a glass vase in there. It was from the bike store from earlier... almost like something they gave me because I couldn't get what I wanted. The kids were kind of giving me a hard time, either with games, poking fun or?? They were not being mean per say, they just acted a little holier than though. I wasn't really enjoying them. The baby was crawling around on the floor being cute. At first she had a head full of curly blond locks and then she had a shaved head. Still lively and cute, just not that adorable girly look. She was crawling around diaperless and then the old fella started crawling around in the same outfit. I felt a little weird seeing the two's full backside views like I shouldn't look, but at the same time it felt natural and ok. I went to see where the bag where my vase was. I didn't want it on the floor with the baby there. I went to get it and heard a clink. It was broken. I poured the broken glass in my mouth so that it wouldn't fall on the ground and get lost in the carpet. One piece did drop and one of the tweens picked it up. I took the piece and put it in my mouth. As I got up to go to the kitchen to empty my mouth, KU came out laughing. I hadn't realized but she had been behind me when I was kneeling on the floor and tucked something in my underwear so that it was sticking out when I got up. I was like... ok.... a joke, I appreciate your fun, but I need to get this glass out.

bare feet

I dreamt that I was on my way to someone's home. It was a man (RVB) that I was going to visit, had thought I wanted to visit and had put some effort into visiting. It was night time and I had taken a bus to a mid point. I wasn't sure which bust to take next. I didn't have much money, I didn't have shoes, I didn't have the right map or the right address. I walked bare footed on the gravel. It was fine up until then and I knew I could keep going even thought it hurt, but then I decided against the journey to his home. It would have taken a while, I wasn't sure of him, I wouldn't have seen him long, and then I would have a long journey home that maybe empty.  I decided to walk over to a terminal. When I arrived at the terminal there were other people there, all chummy and pleasant to be around, all going on their own journeys. There was a small stand there that sold bits of food, coffee and news papers and I was a bit ..?? hungry? maybe not, maybe just wanted something to occupy myself with. I decided against it. While I was turned around, a bus had shown up, the No. 8 and people were loading on to it. I could have ran, but still might have not have made it, my feet would have been raw and I wasn't even sure where it went. I knew two other buses would be coming that night and they may just be going in the right direction. I decided to pull out a map and a man was there (either FE, although in that dream he had a third name, or the angel fellow I saw at an intersection) eager to help me find my way. He was pleasant and I was glad that I had missed the bus.

-----

I dreamt that I was at BM's house. He was working on projects or something, the usual confusion surrounding him. I was there to help him with something and was feeling quite good about the information I had to share. We were chummy..... I don't quite remember the rest.

complacent

I dreamt that I was in a house with others having to do something. I think I had some of my own things there and my own are, but like in many dreams, I didn't feel part of the people or like it was my home. There were many other people there all sort of a family?? like we did belong together, but detached in some way. I think I was looking for some of  my things to hide away, they were in some old cigar box.

Then I was hearing a quote, as if I had dreamt it and was trying to recall it. It was something about complacency or complacent. I kept trying to recall it and it had something to do with it being the beginning of the end of the world. I went to go look up the word because I had lost the meaning. I went to a laptop and kept trying to type it in but it wasn't working. My dad was there and I was telling him about it. I wrote down what could be parts of the quote in quotes. He kept typing it into a search without the quotes and I had to explain why you needed them. It for some reason still wasn't working, so I went to the side of an RV. The whole side of it was a type of iPad, as in it worked just like the screen. I was trying to decrease the size of the screen and find the quotes I needed. It wasn't a full keyboard, so you had to go to different windows. As I was working on finding my dream quote, there were other people behind me. Some woman my exboyfriend was friends with, kind of  a matriarch type..... maybe a mother figure for him in reality. She was talking about which guy she uses to change her oil and which she uses to fix her engines.

"Complacency is the enemy of progress." - Dave Stutman

com·pla·cen·cy

   [kuhm-pley-suhn-see]  Show IPA

noun, plural com·pla·cen·cies.

1.

a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unawareof some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation,condition, etc.

faking death

I dreamt that I was in a department store. I was near the shopping carts and there was a bit of chaos of people in a hurry. Maybe not so much chaos as people milling around stressed for no reason causing more stress. For some reason I decided to fake my death. Not for attention, but just to check out for a bit without having to react, think, be any certain way, appropriate or not. So there I laid on the floor near all of the shopping carts. People would walk by, some stopped but didn't quite know what to do. I just listened to them trying to problem solve. It was nice to just sit there and not be the problem solver, not be the one who had to "know" or convince anyone.  It was nice and I didn't feel guilty. It was a nice break.

Then I was in a room with a bunch of my step aunts and cousins. They were all trying on old dresses for some function. They were old prom type dresses from way back. None of them were that pretty. They handed me a couple to choose from. At first I thought one of them might be nice, but I was wrong. It was royal blue, cinched at the waist, ballroom fluffy bottom half, long sleeved and sort of a white cloth from the decolette and shoulders to the neck. 

locks

I dreamt long locks of my hair were falling out. They were handfuls at a time. I gathered them all together and was amazed that I still had hair on my head. I gathered them up and went to show my mother, just to show her because I was in awe. She said... I can't help you with that I don't have the money.  I was immediately offended. Not that she wouldn't help me, but that she thought me telling her was asking for help. I asked her why she said that and what would she need money for? She didn't answer me and started talking about something else. I kept asking her, each time a little more angry and a little louder. She would speak as though I wasn't even asking the question. It was so frustrating.

---

I dreamt that I was at a large store and checking out at the register. There was a woman in front of me, that was trying to be helpful, but seemed to make things more complicated. The checkout guy was an older man, kind of quiet and calm. They were going through items that they were supposed to give away as samples to each customer. It was all sort of messy, although I was curious what the samples were.

veil

I dreamt of a long cat. They called it something... some nice name. It was long, like 15 feet long, with a tail that stretched out for another 10 to 15 feet. A couple was holding it like it was their baby. At first when it started to unfurl it looked like it had a bat's face. Not one of those cute ones, but the ones that look like they have an inside out nose. The fur was striped and fluffy. Later the face looked almost like a French cartoon cat, with extra large almond shaped eyes that took up most of the face and the face was shaped more like a pointed horizontal oval. The house I was in was modern and many openings on different levels to the rest of the house. I heard a doorbell and it seemed all of the people and cat that were there, no longer existed. I was sort of the cat but a human. I didn't want to answer because I felt not dressed appropriately. The front door was open and I didn't want them to see me, so I ran upstairs to see who it was and it was a man and a woman, both working in some design or magazine industry. I put a hat on that had a long black mesh veil. They came in and we talked. I spoke in a French accent it seemed to either be someone else, or so they would believe I was the cat thing that existed earlier. They seemed to believe me and were in sort of awe of my character. We went together to a function where we all (including other industry folks) would talk about ideas and design. It was a posh bar of sorts on the top floor of a building. Different items were sitting around for us to look at.. like new designs for Chanel and so on. Although I liked the quality of the materials, I wasn't too impressed with the designs. Coco Chanel was there.. she seemed to like me and my ideas. She was trying to see under my veil, but the hat and and veil covered just enough even though it kept on creeping up. I would just pull it down again from time to time. I liked having the veil. I feel I could totally be myself without risk.

Then I was in another office building. I think they were working on some print materials for us. My friends PS and her boyfriend CB were there. She ended up leaving and he walked me out the door. I went with another woman to go find our car. She needed to use the restroom and I was waiting outside, but then I decided to go in too to check my hat. The mirrors all made you look different. Either you would have a short face, bigger eyes and one made it look like you had pink glitter all over your face. They were kind of fun, but I really just wanted to see my face normally. A woman pointed me to the two normal mirrors in the place, but then my friend came out and we were on our way out. The door had a line up of men that wanted to come in. I didn't realize it was uni-sex. Then I realized it wasn't and told one fella that looked like a young Val Kilmer that the men's was in the other direction. But then, I found out that they needed to stand at this area to get to it. As we were walking down this incline to leave, there were waiters just coming out of the kitchen doors, each in a different costume, crouching or on pointed toes dancing to their tables. It was a theme restaurant.

turning ship

I was on a giant sailing ship. It was like the old ones but many many rooms and instead of old, it was all new and shiny. It was really beautiful. There were many types of people on it walking around, and the sun seemed to be shining outside. People were panicked though. The ship had been turning. Not in direction, but horizontally. We all knew it was going to come a little faster. Some people jimmied themselves in a corner and tided themselves to the ship. Some people just seemed to walk off the ship to end it all. Others were scrambling, and couldn't keep their head straight enough to make an plan. And still others were kind of oblivious... just meandered with their loved ones either clueless or letting things just happen. I think I wanted to live, but I wanted to find my right spot first.

spirit animal and doughnuts

I dreamt I was in a group meeting. There was a shaved headed lesbian woman there leading the talk regarding spirit animals. I told her I once had an experience while listening to some music that was supposed to put you in a meditative state. While listening I saw a cougar, but then a wolf climbed out of the cougar's mouth and then I actually saw through the wolf's eyes. It was fun. I was very "in the moment" because the wolf would run one direction, pick up a smell and go in another, see a mouse, run after that.... no worries, no thinking "where should I be right now?" ... just feeling the cold air, following what caught my eye next. I thought it was very exhilarating and fun. Then at the end I was an owl. She went on and on about how interesting and telling it was, but she didn't say what it told. Then the group was breaking up, half of the group had gone into another room and had been drinking or doing drugs. I wanted to go home but my friends were partying. I said I could take them home because I hadn't had anything and they didn't want to. I kept on bargaining, I was going to go home somehow.

---

I dreamt I was in a work environment. There was an office supply delivery that included cookies, doughnuts and peanut m&ms. Half of the office was empty and I needed to go look for someone, so I took an elevator down a floor or so. I don't think I found the guy or maybe I knew he would be coming up to the next floor. I went back to organize the food and put it away. It seems someone had put piles on different desks. I thought  this was odd. Why not keep it together in one container to keep it all fresh. Part of this was a controlling feeling too... what would happen with all of the items, who would take them, toss them, not put them in a container?  Why did I care, it wasn't my responsibility really.... I ended up just taking a jelly doughnut and going to a desk to work. It was someone else's desk and they had a pile of food there too. I put it in a box so it wouldn't get on the work. The girl that sat at the desk (RP) asked me what I had been up to. At that moment I couldn't tell her what work I had accomplished. I knew I had been feeling lethargic and uninterested in my work, and that since I was having a problem with my memory recall and suddenly was feeling guilty, maybe I hadn't been doing my work. I replied "not much." She was giving me the eye like I was worthless and lazy and should be gone. Then I started realizing I am not the type to sit and do nothing... I had other projects I had worked on that kept me from my normal work. I started feeling better again.

splitting paths

I dreamt I was in a room in a tree. It was a large tree, but still small for a body, as in I couldn't budge. I was feeling claustrophobic and feeling an anxiety type attack coming on. Then I saw a little dwarf guy. He wasn't so little, a bit pudgy, bald on top and older fella, but he could zip right through the tree and I felt better just watching him being able to get about. 

----

I dreamt I had a date with a guy. I was excited because I really thought he was sweet and handsome. He was taller than me, dark hair, a bit more round than svelte. He picked me up and had flowers, I think I was a little nervous because it was such an official date date. There was some sort of night time festival going on and we were going there to get a bite to eat. He asked if I wanted a beer. I really didn't. I hadn't eaten all day and I knew it would go straight to my head... but I also didn't want to appear like a no-fun type, so I said yes. Then I woke up in bed. My clothes were still on, but my button down was above my sweater instead of the other way around. I put my hands over my face worried about what I might have done the night before since I had blanked out from getting the beer until now. I got up to assess the damage and my roommates were up. It was about 9 a.m. and they said he was still downstairs asleep on the couch. I felt a little better. I went down to talk to him and he had to get to work. I had some place to go too, so we both walked for a bit in the city. There was some sort of construction going on and I had to make sure my bike made it over some grooves in the road. He had to split off and I went on. I had to get off my bike to get over an especially high curve. It had rusty wires and things up there, so I was trying to be careful of my tires. There were two nicely dressed men on the other side of the curb and they had a little girl with them. I told them to be careful of the rusty wires. I must have set my bike down on the other side of the curb as I talked to them, and lost track after because I kept on walking. Then I realized I had forgotten my bike and one of the men stole it. I was so upset. I had just sanded the bike down and painted it and I really didn't have money for another bike. I chased after him.

I dreamt I was in space. This was a normal thing as we all were in space. A group of us were returning from a mission. I think it felt good to be part of this group. We had succeeded at something and we were good fun people. Some of us split off before the return because they were due to join another team. I wasn't so happy about it, but I knew we had something else to look forward to. We docked at the main station and I had to get to a control device. I was in charge of deploying ships, ordering them on what to do and so on. I didn't feel like I was doing a good job. I wasn't familiar with the software I was using (it was all software based and not voice). I did deploy some first aid to some folks though and that seemed to work out all right. I left the control station and went to see how the people who had been hurt were doing. One blond woman was smiling, glad that she was ok. She had red marks all over her face, but it was going to heal. Then there was an alarm for another guy. He was the big fella on the show Weeds, Marvin. He was in a ship and felt like something was wrong. I knew bees were going to fly out of him. I ordered people to run and help, but they didn't seem to be either taking me seriously or going fast enough. A man was on his way in a space suit, when he saw the bees come out of his mouth, he put on an emergency bubble on. It was a clear bubble that would encompass him about a foot or two out in every direction. It was too late and the man's ship filled with bees. 

radio

I dreamt that I was working with a radio station. It was one of those low budget ones that play local community shows and have no advertising dollars. I was just helping on a project and really wasn't given any guidelines, project details, what I would be paid. I was supposed to getting that information soon. I was taken into another room, the place looked more like a movie set than a radio station, as if we were supposed to look at things as well as hear them. People were milling around and I felt kind of an excited buzz from being in a non-office situation, knowing I would be going from one location to another. I was sitting with a few people I would be working on a sofa. There was a lightish haired fella at the end. He looked kind of critical and entitled. I was supposed to be working with him. There was a social gal in-between us and a few other folks. We looked over our shoulder and heard a character name and saw a tall gangly guy (Darb) and we were all.. Is that the guy from the comic book story show? He looks just like the character! We had a laugh about that and then started getting down to business. Then social gal introduced me to the light haired guy. He asked me some questions and I wanted to let him know that I wasn't officially an employee yet, that I didn't know what I would be paid, when I was starting and so on. He looked at me as if I was stupid. Why would I not demand that information first. Didn't I think enough of myself??

second journey, stitches

I dreamt I was on a journey. I had already come a ways and it seemed I was at the mid-point. I felt as though I had a lot more freedoms on the first leg, as though I had gone it alone, but I knew that wasn't true. Maybe I just avoided my awareness of them. The preparation for the next half of the journey definitely involved people, rules, things... One was a blond man. He seemed very bookish, rules-y, uptight... I was a little impatient with it all. Couldn't we just go now?  We had a certain way of flying before that was with a mechanical type device that we held on to. At the current location though, there were many people milling about as if they were all working for us. I was thinking it must be some government thing or money making thing and we would have to give them money or sign our lives over, but no... they were just giving us technology and aid freely. They had this new technology for the next part of our journey. They said we could still use our mechanical device, it wouldn't hurt anything, but this new thing, a type of helium balloon, could take us faster, or we could use it if our device gave out. It sounded good to me. I just wanted to get going.

------
I dreamt was with a man, young Jeremy Irons looking type. Just previous, he was stabbed by a man from the middle east or south eastern Europe. We were walking speedily along a boardwalk near the ocean to get away and I could see him wince. I asked if he was ok and he pointed to his chest. I could see something coming out that was like a lung or something (although not possible). I had him sit down on a bench outside and I went to this small open air mini-mart. I was going to look for soap, needle and thread. There seemed to be lots of office supplies and soaps but not much else. I kept looking around and wasn't having luck. I looked in some drawers and found some gel like band-aids that would hold the skin together, then finally I saw a jar on top of a shelf that was full of odds and ends like safety pins. I saw a needle in there, although the eye of the needle had a red rubber type coating over it. I thought that it might be too large regarding piercing the skin, but  didn't have much choice. I knew I had to find a way to sterilize it and I was questioning the harshness of the soap, I just didn't have much time. While waiting in line I was thinking of what would be the best way to stitch him so it would have the least amount of stitches while still doing the trick.

mistakes

I dreamt I was in the streets for some festival. It was night time and possibly fall, as it felt a little cooler and the streets looked wet. There were fireworks going off and the embers were landing all over the crowd, not enough to hurt anyone, but enough to put a hole in some cloth. I was wearing a black dress and I had two lines of wholes going down the front. I think normally this would have made me angry, but for some reason I shrugged my shoulders and didn't seem to care. Then I went into a car with two friends. I think they were new friends. The girl was in the driver's seat, although maybe it was a UK car because I felt like I had the steering wheel and the guy was in the back. It was a fancy sports car that wasn't mine. I don't know if I was borrowing it or if it was stolen, but I knew I felt a bit nervous using the items in it. I showed them this phone thing where you could choose the music. It was all pretty fancy. Then I was in a movie theater. I was with a boyfriend (a guy I recently met in an Irish pub) and we were getting cozy and ready to watch the movie. There was a gal next to me (someone I know via biz) and she had a laptop open. I didn't care for her company much because she was trying to push her agenda on me. She was saying how her body in a bikini was much better and I just didn't agree (in the dream she was skinny to where you could see her bones). I typed a search on her laptop for Marilyn Monroe and was showing her how nice smooth skin looked. She agreed. Then I was in this bright white classroom. My friend (LN) was there and he was chatty as usual. The instructor was casually chatting as we were finding our places. I was looking through a booklet of calendars. It was a collection of old calendars that were mainly nice photographs. He asked if they were mine and I said yes and was showing him some of the photos. There was also one that had pin-ups, although they had been altered. So what you would normally see as a pin-up, you would see them nude but it was drawn like it was for a medical class. So you would see the nice face and limbs and outline of the torso, but the middle was organs set out in a text book way.  I saw that I had left a blazer in the room. It was green cotton and I decided to put it on. As everyone was chatting I realized I had put it on inside out. I started to fix it and LN gave me two plants that we were going to talk about that day. They were actually fungi, but very beautiful, almost orchid like. I successfully turned my blazer right side out and then noticed there was mold and small mushrooms all over the shoulders. I was a bit curious and kind of grossed out a bit too. I needed to get it cleaned if it was savable at all. As people continued to get settled, they were talking about how certain things propagate. I said, well such and such plant was obviously by seeds being blown by air (others plants we spoke of were orderly and grew in natural rows). Then I started day dreaming about the dandelion and thought it would be interesting to make a man made item that could carry a human and float like that, then I was wondering how you would control the movement and so on. Then the class started talking about a certain type of maple tree and how they wanted to make it extinct because it kind of took over everything. So then I started thinking of a man made version of those little helicopters that spin off of those trees. Then I heard a voice regarding the maple tree. It said it would be best to let it do as it pleases as we survive by our mistakes.

ginger cookies

I dreamt I was part of some baking event with my step mom's family. There were a ton of them there all baking and knowing what to do. I wanted to help, I liked to bake. It actually felt good to be around them, since normally I feel like an outsider. They were baking different kinds of cookies and pies. There was one recipe that was a chewy ginger cookie. I guess it was excellent, but they kept on trying to make it into a pie and it was failing. I went to touch the dough in the pie tin and each time you would push on it to spread it to the edge, it would retract to its cookie shape. I decided I had to use the bathroom and so I went out to the barn. All of the boy step cousins were out there doing barn/farm work. It felt like fall, it felt kind of nice but at the same time I wanted to be out of their way. There was something I didn't like about the man feeling that day, where normally I would have chipped in. I went up to the second story of the barn where there was a sort of out house. It was made of wood and there was hay on the ground, not glamorous at all, but the door shut tightly, so I was happy. I also wanted to hurry before I had anyone waiting outside the door. I was successful and went back out. My step mom and my dad were there. I felt as though I didn't want to be around them. I could feel their criticism and their inability to get me or care about my needs. It seemed some time had passed and for some reason I needed to use the outhouse again. I went up the ramp and shut the door when my dad came knocking on it and the door fell off. I wasn't very happy about it and just left. I had two phrases go through my head..." there is no rest for the wicked" and "the meek shall inherit the earth." This passed through my head throughout the dream and I thought... I think someone is trying to tell me I need to be patient. I went back to the house with the backing. They were still having the dilemma with the ginger cookie but otherwise the pies were all done. I looked at everything neatly boxed. I saw that one of my aunt's (D) had red velvet cakes all boxed. I think she may have store purchased those. There was also an apple pie on the table half eaten. I think the crust may not have turned out on that one. Then I started talking to this blond girl. She was a little airy fairy. I suggested that we just cook the rest of the ginger dough as cookies and she agreed. She was tasting one of the baked good and mentioning something like.... " hmm yes, the second story I think...." She was using the way the baked good came out as a symbol of what might be going on in your life. So say a pie fell in the middle, maybe that meant that you were missing some grounding or solidity in your person. I asked if this could be true for all cooked items, projects and so on, and she replied more or less .. of course.

Then I dreamt I was in an office building, a nice modern one. Everyone seemed pleasant to be around. A lot of femininity in the air as apposed to the usual male feel of an office. There was just a feeling of a lot of smiles, caring and sweetness. I, for the first time, didn't mind being in an office knowing I might work there. I was in charge of a couple of projects, but really wasn't part of any department, just helping out. People came by my office asking for this and that and I think I had some sort of information gathering that I was in charge of and so I knew I would have a lot of people by my office. I decided I had better put all of my favorite pens in a safe place so none of them would be accidentally pocketed. As I was doing this ladies were stopping by and giving me their information. I felt sort of ashamed that I would be so greedy with my pens when these people were so nice. I could get others, so I stopped. A security guy walked by a couple of times. He had a nice sweet smile on his face, kind of a grandpa type. He asked how I was doing and I replied good. Then a woman (JG) called me and asked about some HR sheet that she had expected to be done. I reminded her that I gave it back to her with my edits long ago and hadn't heard back from her. I realized I had better set up a status sheet for her projects and the other office projects to keep everyone on the same page. Some office fellow stopped by my office then to give me info. He was curious about me and why I was there and we started chatting. He was trying to be helpful and kind of hinting I should start a business. He said "you should like that (some nickname) lady, she was a smart noodle." Then he proceeded to show me her web site. It was regarding helping people with apartments, finding them, how to set up a lease, deal with issues, the law, and so on. Kind of a helpful hints thing for people who didn't want to do their own research. He said "She solves problems people need answers to."

Then I needed to leave. I was walking through corridors trying to find my way out. It was kind of a complicated floor plan and elevators didn't go to all floors. It also seems I was hiding from someone or trying to get out unnoticed so that no one had a chance to detain me for one more minute. I stopped and looked through one of my bags in a reception area maybe to look normal or to stop and think of my next plan of how to leave...

shadow

I dreamt that I cut myself open to find my "shadow." I reached in and pulled out a glossy black octopus like thing. It was large and maniacal, whipping its tentacles around. It was hard to catch a glimpse but part of me was avoiding it because it was just too frightening.  I couldn't let it free but I didn't want to put it back inside me. It seemed it would be self sabotage. I wasn't sure what was appropriate. I knew that you were supposed to embrace your shadow self so it doesn't affect you in adverse ways. An angel showed up behind me. I couldn't see his face, I just felt his presence, knew he was abnormally tall and had dark hair. He couldn't do anything to my shadow, but he could stand there and make me feel safe. I took the octopus thing and nailed it to a post. I didn't hurt it, it was as if it had a loop on the top of its head that I could hang it on the nail with. I still couldn't really look at it, but I noticed it wasn't flipping around anymore. While thinking what to do the angel put its wings around me, but didn't give me any hints of what to do, just that it would be there. I noticed a beak. It was coming out of something barren and dusty. Was it me? I kind of think it was... it was a crow and it came out and picked up the "shadow" and flew towards the sun. It kept going until it was close enough and it flung the octopus thing toward is and it burst into flames and disintegrated. The crow flew back and it was my new shadow now. It felt dark still, but more controlled. I looked inside to see if there was anything else I needed to take out. I saw a little girl running behind something. I was just able to catch her by the heel. She was a bratty little girl, the kind you don't appreciate. I wasn't sure what to do with her. I knew I needed to deal with her though. That saying that if you don't like someone... you more than likely have some of their traits. 

out of place

I dreamt that I was at my exboyfriend's home, although it was a different house. I was there with a couple of his friends an they were happy to see me. We were having a fun discussion and then he showed up. I felt a little uncomfortable but he was in a chipper mood and kind of acted like he was happy to see me. He had bleached his hair blond, shaved off his sideburns and his eyebrows and was wearing a new hat. It felt as though he had a makeover... not for self improvement, but to show me he was nothing like he was before and that he had moved on. I went in his room to hang my coat and I saw he had sheets. Were these the sheets I had bought him? Then I realized he had purchased 2 sets of new sheets that were nicer than what I had bought him. I guess I was happy for him that the had improved his life but sad that he had thrown away ours. We all sat back down in the living room and were looking over our left over Halloween candy. I was going to give them mine because I didn't want it. I decided to get up and socialize with other people, which ended up looking like a party. I didn't like being with someone I felt rejected around even if he was being nice. I walked down this stairway. It led to a large basement that had a pool table and odd furniture and then further on was a green house of sorts. It seemed like it was a private spot and that we were all needing to go back upstairs. I ran into people that seemed to have known me while coming back up the stairs. They seemed excited and happy to see me and I figured I must have met them at some past party where I had had a little too much to drink. I felt like being nice, but at the same time they were not going to meet the girl they had met before, so I just wanted to move along. Then I was up some stairs and there was lots of natural light. There were a lot of people there I just wouldn't hang around. They were more ?? dramatic, more needy of attention, more?? well, I just couldn't relate. I heard a girl scream in one of the rooms upstairs and then started to cry. I saw her mother leave the room with her eyes down and she looked very judgmental. I wanted to go help the girl as she obviously wasn't getting empathy from her mother. I walked in the room and two women were holding a small baby, obviously just born. It was covered in blood and it looked like it barely survived. I found soon after that, that another baby had been born (twins) and had died. They asked me to hold it and carry it out and I almost vomited. It made me ill to hold this sickly thing that had been born in this kind of a feeling and space. 

home

I dreamt I was without a home. Well, I was staying with people but, although they were kind to me, I was a burden and I could feel it. I also didn't like people in my business exactly although I was thankful for the space. I was staying at a friend's parents' house. Her room was still in tact and there was another daughter living there, friendly enough. I went into my friend's room and the floors were slanted to the middle. Like all of the sides of the room angled up to the walls, and then you slid down into the middle of the room making it hard to keep your balance. I wanted to be out, but I also knew it was a good deal especially with me being unemployed. I knew I would be house sitting for my brother soon, but I wasn't looking forward to that. His house was dark, there were cats (which I don't mind, besides the hair) and I just wasn't looking forward to it. Then I received a quick call from a friend. She said her home in Portland (which they sold) was empty and they really needed someone inside, and if I didn't mind.. could I rent it for $300. At first I said I would get back to her. I did this out of fear of committing and wanting to weight the pros and cons. Then I realized it was an amazing deal and I should jump on it. I was so excited to finally have a space of my own, with my own furniture. It felt great.

construction

I dreamt I was near a building. I think I worked there or was supposed to look up something there. It felt not welcoming, like I had to do this work, although it was sneaky and not right. I didn't like it. Then I was walking down a street. It seemed it was evening. I wasn't sure how to get back to where I needed to be. I walked down one path, but then I felt it was the wrong way, but I just kept going hoping I would find a shortcut to where I wanted to be. The further I walked, the more I felt like I wouldn't be able to get where I wanted to go. I don't understand why I kept going down that path.

Then I was outside a building. It seemed like construction workers or even firemen were doing something to the building. There were tall ladders and cranes, hard hats and roped off areas. My dad was there in a truck. We were waiting for something to be done. I didn't like being there, I didn't like having to take the "back seat," even though I knew I was more capable. But I just bit my lip and did what would make everyone else comfortable

no food

I dreamt I was working on a project in a mall. I think I was in a foreign country and my project started as the stores were closing. I was so hungry though. I looked over and a restaurant was just closing. I knew they had bread and specialties as well as chocolates at register. A little girl was sitting in the doorway. She was told to watch the door as they didn't want anymore patrons that evening. I went to ask her if there was anything I could buy. She said... "bread maybe... but that is downstairs and I can't go downstairs"... it was as if she was tempting me with things just a hands length away, but couldn't stop playing with her doll to help. I really didn't have a solution, but for some reason I couldn't stop searching through the window of the place for a possible something I could buy.

Then I was home and my mother was showing me all of these special treats she had purchased. All things she was saving for a special dinner and knew that I couldn't eat any of them because I was on a special diet. I think I thought the hell with it and opened the fridge to see the food I couldn't have thinking I could sneak something. All of it was carefully stacked and packaged. I couldn't touch anything. 

dead cousin message

I dreamt I was supposed to be getting ready for work, but I think I was going to just not go. My brother was in the house and being all proper and doing as he should, being professional and appropriate. I was feeling less than. I peeked out the window because I heard someone talking. It was my cousin that had past away a few years back. She was laying back in the car and talking kind of loudly. The kind that maybe makes you feel like you are confident and strong, but really is a tone of offensive defense. She was saying how yes... she was on acid, but not as much anymore and she handles this way better than others and so on. It made me take a look at my life and where I was using excuses and if I sounded like her when I talked about them. I was glad I over heard her.

I looked at her and he was thin again. I could see the stretch marks on her stomach, but the shape was nice. I was happy for her. I told my brother she was outside, so he went out to talk to her and invite her in. She had needed help with her hair, so I was thinking no problem, I could braid it for her until I wen to touch it. She had some sort of braid thing on top like corn rows, but it had felty fibers weaved into it like palm palms. Then the rest of the length down the middle back and heavy beads at the end making it hard to keep the hair separate. I finally got the hang of it and made a quick loose braid. It wasn't perfect, but it was done.

She also had these project she was working on. They were thick block tiles that were painted on each side, but they worked like a bead. She would put a string through each one and then another perpendicular so that they lined up horizontally and vertically to make a diamond. I thought sort of clever, I guess... it held them in place and I told her so. But then she looked at me and said "see?"  and started moving the tiles around in air, so that she could rotate the painted tiles in the design she wanted. I wanted to play with them too..

broken teeth

I dreamt that my front to teeth and broken in half horizontally. I went to inspect them and they continued to crumble in my hands. I was mortified yet somehow calm. I thought I just wouldn't smile big for a while and I would make an appointment with the dentist soon. I was more concerned on how did this happen. Was I treating myself poorly? Not eating right??

I've always heard about broken teeth or teeth falling out dreams. Supposed to mean stress etc. Hmm...