cheerleader wars

I dreamt that I was walking down the hill to some school?  It was large, brick with many buildings. PC was with me and we were following some blond lady. She is an actress in a play we are going to see. PC knows her and seemed to revel in rubbing shoulders.  The blond woman says it will be in the basement of one of the buildings. PC is claustrophobic and is concerned. Then she is fine with it. We keep going through rooms and halls and finally get there. Then we leave and I'm helping someone who is lost, maybe weak... On the way, we notice a bunch of school girls (more like 18 year old strong girls), in different uniforms than ours. They are on some sort of jungle gym with some teen guys. They look privileged and like trouble. I can feel that they are about to do something not so nice and I tell the girl with me to run, but then they start attacking each other.  We ran back to our dorm.

In the dorm, we are with our own team of girls in the same uniform. I was happy because we could help each other. They have long poles with odd blades at the end that are shaped a bit like one side of a yin/yang, with the blade being on the outer curve. They started attacking each other with the blades. One is more powerful than the rest and she kills each one of them with only myself left.  She comes after me throws me a weapon. Does she want me to kill her? She starts attacking me and could kill me but it is like she wants me to attack her. I don't want to hurt her, but I stab her a little in the arm, more to keep her away. I feel I don't have the power to do it in one shot.. I try again and again and realize I am just causing her pain which I don't want.. I finally stab her in the head and she dies. I'm relieved... not that I wanted to kill but... I didn't want more pain.

beach pie

At the beach with some good friends. It seems like a summer vacation, the kind where you really don't have to do anything and you get to spend a month or more at one place.

We walk back to the beach house. An older lady is there, someone's mother? Not sure. We are making pie. I didn't feel like family, maybe a friend of a child or something, but welcome just the same. I had that feeling of politeness and obligation that comes with being a guest.

The apple pie didn't seem to come out ok. It was detaching from the crust, although I followed the instructions. Oh well... next was cherry. I was out in the sunroom pitting cherries. They were blanched for some reason first, so a bit warm. A guy comes in to say hello ... nice feelings

italian cake

I was dropping a lady off at a place she was going to work, a new job. We had to go through a gate and through the front door. The building was older feeling, uptight feeling, but rooted.. been doing the same thing, in the same way, for years. As we walked in I was kind of holding her hand, metaphorically. She didn't seem to know what to do and seemed bumbley.  The lady was middle aged, kind of a 1970s version of middle aged, older hair style, set in her ways, and a bit not with it. The kind of person who probably keeps a job forever and is happy with it, or at least doesn't expect for more. I was telling people what she was there for, made sure she was handing them the correct papers, and so on. I realized I had worked there before a long time ago, maybe  temp job...

The building was odd... built on the side of a steep hill.  There were no windows on one side, which curved along with the hill. It was narrow and had off levels and nooks and crannies. I said hello to some of the people although it had been years since I had worked there. I don't think anyone really recognized me.  It felt stuffy to me now, although when I was younger (in my dream).. it felt new and exciting, not having had much experience. I left her there, hoping she would be ok and partly just wanting to get the heck out of there... I had done my part.

I walked back through an iron gate, passed some more people. I was glad that part of my life was over.

Then I was on some grassy area. Were people watching a concert? was there an event? I'm not sure now, but the feeling was festive. I had walked up to some sort of snack bar, which seemed to be more of a coffee shop, to bring back some things for my friends. I saw a special Italian cake... a little less sweet, but kind of buttery and good with dried fruits. Nothing they would choose on purpose, but they had never tasted it and thought it might be nice. There were three wedges left and I asked for them all. A friend of mine was running the place (AL survmonk) and was making sure I got what I needed. He seemed full of energy, as usual and seemed to be successful with this business. I envied his togetherness and his suredness.

Then a dog showed up... not sure at this point what was happening, ...

very very

I dreamt that I was at a strip mall. There were two levels and I was on the upper waiting for someone. I was sitting on a small futon sofa that was mine. A man, looked like a security guard was walking up to me and I thought he was going to ask me to pay to sit there.. Then I was in the parking lot. I seemed to be selling some of my things like a tiny garage sale, just a few items. There was also a woman there that was selling decorated sheet cakes. They seemed to be selling well. One woman came up all worried that they were sold out, but I pointed out another stack of them behind some things. Then the little enterprise seemed to take up a larger area of the parking lot. There was a large white tent and tables with lots of sheet cakes. It seemed like there were about 6 of these ladies, some getting people's attention at the road side and others at the tables. They were making really good money. They said they would cook these in their bakery building one day a week and then rent the place out the other hours. So the cakes were all cash and they were making money on the building. Pretty good. They seemed very active, very sure, very together and very happy.

We left the place as they were done for the day. We were all walking down to the Pearl (the nicer part of downtown Portland). I was heading to where I worked for some reason, maybe for my car?? We all seemed good.

pigs head

I dreamt that I lived in a small neighborhood and maybe in the 40s or 50s. Not due to the actual date, or clothing, but it felt like a nicer time. Neighbors knew each other, you helped each other out, you knew the name of the clerks at the market and they knew you. It felt really nice and at ease.

There was a meat market down the street and I think I and a friend were supposed to work there to help out. Or maybe he was helping us out. It was something to do. I had a big round of sausage that was more like the size of a wheel of cheese, it was warm and I knew I shouldn't have taken it out for so long.. not sure why I had it. I brought it back to the market and stacked it on top of the other sausage rounds. The market man turned from an older balding Italian looking fellow, to a rounder, pale, small nosed fella. He was showing me his new idea for advertising. He was standing behind the counter at his shop and posed for a second, then I could see a blank space to the left of him, as if it was hanging in mid air.. a rectangle that was green and another smaller one on his right. It blanked out what was going on behind the counter, but still was framed with hanging meats. I said oh yes... good idea. You can use those space for writing anything you need for a new ad and can use it over and over. I'm not sure if he heard all of my positive reinforcement of his idea, but I knew he was happy and that is all that mattered.

I was looking at his counter... my friend and I both agreed that he needed a pigs head at the end to make it look festive.

My friend and I continued on to a large flea type market. It was kind of a large Goodwill but different. It had some new clothes, some vintage and all very organized, yet more warehouse-like. I saw all of these little boy's parkas and I thought my friend should come and look.. but thought again.

Then there was a bunch of golden colored military clothing hanging. All of it was in good condition. I was showing my friend. He didn't seem interested and then said I wouldn't wear anything like that. I thought it was a pity. It was a nice design.

Then I was sitting with my  mom. We were going through old photos. There was one of a boxer dog. We looked at it as if it was one of ours a long time back, how sweet, etc. etc.

Then some of my grandpa and I. We were having a good time in these photos. They were not flattering pics, but the feeling behind them, the great conversation, the smiles, they were happy pics. It was almost as if it was a small film, each photo was like that of the next frame, and you could see on our faces that we were recognizing that someone was taking the photos although we still were facing each other. The last photo we were both facing the camera as if to surprise the photo taker. My mom and I both laughed and it was as if everything was healed.

Then I was on a bed.. laying on my stomach... was I still with the same friend? not sure. We were both laying there.. he was doing his tech work... I was??  bored.

two kittens

I dreamt that I was pregnant. I looked down and I had a tight mound of a belly.  I didn't know whose it was, and it seemed to be getting too late to do anything about it, my stomach protruded out too far. How could this have happened?  How could I have let it go so carelessly?  I wanted to throw up. It seemed to get larger quickly and I realized I could feel the baby kick. I wanted him?? the him that was the father to feel it. For a moment, I knew who the father was and excitedly told him the news. Then I realized I could feel wear the head was. It felt like a real being now. I could almost caress its face as thought it was out. I had a very motherly and loving feeling about it and suddenly nothing else mattered. Then I was following a kitten. I wanted to make sure it wouldn't get hurt or get out of the house. It was very cold outside and there were many places it could escape. I thought.. it has a knowing... I will just let it figure it out, but then part of me wanted to test both ways, one where I watch over and one where I let it be 100%. The kitten walked out on a 2x4 where we were remodeling. I then saw two kittens. I realized I was carrying on the experiment simultaneously. The kitten that I was ignoring was about to fall... I wanted to go catch it, but just then, it fell on to sticks and died. It was as if I could hit ctrl z on a keyboard and reset the experiment and the kitten was back alive.

cat cake

I dreamt that this guy I had gone to high school with was now a graphic designer or worked in a print shop. He had a large stack of posters, although they seemed to be all glued together, back to front. He was peeling them off one by one to separate them.

I then dreamt that I had to get my #12 tooth fixed and something about 8 dollar mule that was some sort of tincture. Someone was serving cake for a birthday... it had a cat's head on it as decoration, for a child.
A guy was helping with the serving and there was ice cream too. An old woman gave her serving back, as she only wanted cake.

Then I was in a neighborhood that I seemed to have just moved to. I was walking around a circle and admiring the homes and the stars in the night. It seems many of the neighbors took nightly strolls. I walked up some stairs to the peak of the hill and I saw K, a guy I used to work with.

demolishing oblivious

I dreamt that I was in my house. I was looking out enjoying the great view I had. How did I get a house with a view of the ocean, how lucky.  I looked up at a building... it was a building I used to work in that was on top of a hill, but now it was at the edge of the ocean. There were buildings before it ... new ones... and then some old things. I saw a huge cloud of smoke. Was something on fire? The smoke seemed to be moving fast and out in all directions. It seemed more like it was a bomb. I looked again and it seemed that they were demolishing some buildings. First some decent ones, then the older ones were going... and then an explosion hit a building that was the furthest from my view. I had worked there (although in reality it was on top of a hill). There was a library in the building and people. A whole corner of a floor was blown away and I was wondering if the whole building could fall.

I somehow saw some friends in the window. I was trying to get their attention but they did not see me. I ran to the building and up some stairs. TM and her mother in law and children were there looking at books and art. I kept calling to them and they were too preoccupied. I was putting so much effort into helping people that were oblivious.

blue chairs

I dreamt that I was hungry and wanted to get a bite to eat out. I must have been in a new environment. There was a hole in the wall place, white walls, big blue chairs, etc. I had been there once before. It seemed to have been set up for last nights movie though and it didn't look like it was prepared to serve lunch. Also, the place looked way better in the dark. Now it just looked cheap? maybe the food wouldn't be good, but I knew that it was good before.

I was with MT, my ex. We sat in some of the big blue chairs and I looked for a black round table to move in front of us. We were sitting by the window, as if in the waiting area. It felt like we were in love, the comfortable kind after the honeymoon period. It felt nice and odd. I questioned it at first, but it was real.
I ordered tofu and?? he wondered why? He realized he didn't have enough money in the bank and asked if I would transfer money to his account. I said I would transfer it to him. He said the bank was over there? As in away from this place. I wondered why he wanted to go... I said I could do it on the phone, and he was ok with that. and happier.  I did not have my account number but I did have my card. I guess I could use that.

We sat and chatted, laughed, snuggled. Then the room started getting full. I was there now with other people, PC, TB, PS, etc. and the place transformed. There was some kind of acting thing going on..There was a guy in a blond wig.. loooked like someone I had gone to school with. T and P came back to where I was sitting asking why I hadn't told them that I knew them... I didn't think it mattered. Someone changed the subject and they forgot. I got up and walked about the room, all full of actors now and some event. I was enjoying the posters, the books and then kind of felt out of place and wanted to leave.

tiny alligator

I dreamt of a loving extended family feeling. I was getting a photo with someone. I was with my step mother's extended family, but just the women. One of the younger ones that just had a baby was getting a photo session. She is kind of an alpha personality.

I dreamt that one of the women that married into the family, a step aunt M, was a psychic. There was going to be a movie done about her. I had no idea she was one.

I started watching the "idea" of the movie. A woman was coming out to the country to meet with her. When she had made the appointment, she thought that M, in regards to light meant something else... maybe electricity. M meant the light in you. The woman was going to leave after she had realized what the appointment would be about. M had rented a barn space, a sort of shed for this appointment so they would have full privacy. Before the woman had left, M thought quickly and said she would do the appointment for free for an hour. The woman thought why not. So they went into the shed. The wood was gray and weathered, but looked pleasant enough. Immediately things starting moving in the shed.. like spirits were communicating. I was thinking was this really M, did this really happen?  Or did they add it for dramatic affect for the movie?

Then I was in the main kitchen space again with extended family. Some people there were nice. LW, an old boss was there, smiley as always. I was going to put something in the microwave and there was a tiny alligator in there. I in a way, I was treating it like a bug and just slammed it shut (it was in the crease), hoping that it would die and disappear. Although it didn't die. It kept showing up in the fridge or on a counter. I finally talked to a woman and said...I'm not sure that our kitchen would pass health code. I told her about the alligator. I clarified it wasn't a little lizard or a salamander... it was an actual tiny alligator and maybe we should find a home for it. I said it needed to be glass, or he would get out. So we got one... and sand etc. I wondered if he was still alive. His eyes were closed. Then she started petting him with her finger. I was wondering if he would like it or not. I saw his eyes open and then close in that nice feeling eyes look that dogs and cats get.  It made me feel better.

many skirts

I dreamt I was walking through some little shops. It was as though they were in little sheds, with gravel paths between them, but they were nice shops. I was there with my mom, looking for solutions, looking for better clothing that I needed for work, but wasn't find them. I remembered I had worn a skirt once that was affordable, comfortable, nice enough... Why don't I just get 10 of those in different colors.. that would do it.

Then I was sitting in a chair watching something in a lobby. I should have been working. I guy saw me. I felt the need to get up and go back to work.

bitter apple

I dreamt that I was going on a trip with my friend SK. We were walking or driving up a gravel road with a lot of other folks. We all seemed to be going on a similar trip, like it was an organized thing that we paid for, but with strangers. This was old hat to SK. She is kind of a rugged girl and she was telling me things about the area, which seemed to be up a mountain, with a lake and so on. She said she would be giving me a tour of the lake.  I asked her what lake it was, what was special about it?  I guess part of me got a sinking feeling of expected boredom. Not that I don't appreciate nature, but I have been to certain lakes often that you can't swim in or do anything in but a tour, and that doesn't interest me. I looked over at the lake and it seemed to be near a damn... also didn't interest me. She sighed and said we didn't have to go on the tour, but I quickly said no no, I want to see... just curious. I did appreciate that she was being my tour guide.

I was getting nervous as we were going up. The big several day tour was going to be via motorcycle and I wasn't that experienced in poor weather conditions. It was raining there and a bit snowy. I was thinking... should I be in the back as to not get in anyone's way? Or should I be at the front so that I didn't get left behind?  We went to go see her parents that happened to live up on those hills for part of the year. They looked as they did in the mid-80s or even younger. They were staying in a very small place. Everything was in one room, the kitchen, dining table, sofa and bed. I sat on the bed as it seemed they were using it as a sofa as well. Both SK and myself were not feeling great. We were not sick, but we both felt puffy and uncomfortable. Her mother said matter of factually, you know.. your bodies are alkaline, I think... M....? malox? (something man made) would be ok for you, for now, but bitter apple would be good for you. She then looked around for a bottle.

Her dad came and sat down by me. He had just taken a shower. I felt uncomfortable as he was nude, but he was just comfortable that way. I looked at his skin and noticed again how young it was. I wondered where his tattoos had gone ... didn't he have any? (in reality no), then they started to appear the more that I had focused. He was taking tape and pressing it on his skin and taking it off... as if he was trying to delint himself. Each time he took the tape away... his skin looked whiter in a strip.