through the door

I dreamt that I was reading a book. Then I was invited or coerced through a door by a clown and someone else I knew. The clown was creepy looking,  but I knew him and the person. I knew what ever was behind the door, I would not like. I had already been down a road with them before. The door opened and it was more of the same. A group full of scary people and scared people. I walked through anyway, knowing I didn't want it, knowing I would feel stuck, knowing a door would shut behind me and not knowing when it would open again.

The clown left and shut the door. The door was sort of a portal. You wouldn't return to where you were before by going back through it. I decided to check the door and it opened. I had a feeling that in leaving the room, I would be facing I feared. But I couldn't be in this room anymore.

I walked through the door. I noticed I was dressed like a clown. I wast at a rodeo. Maybe my scary thing to face would be that I was a rodeo clown and have to face bulls. I'm thinking maybe I can go through with it. It was better than living the same life in the room. I walk around. I see cages with tigers. I hear a little girl... "Look mommy, it's a girl clown." I feel good that I can do something good even if it is only entertainment.
There is a kid in the cage the tiger is rubbing up against him. People watching think it is sweet, and it is a bit. But I'm waiting for the tiger to turn on the kid, then it won't be so sweet. I decide to go over and pick the boy up. He had taken off his boots and his feet were all muddy.  I did't care about his dirty feet getting all over my costume. Something about doing what felt right trumped anything else.

My mom was there. We were walking around and I see some riding boots to try on. They are unique, part gray wool and part leather and they were a good deal. I try on the boots and not sure I like them.
There is a message to me about a four prong bulb.. it ends up meaning a four sided bulb (like an old flash for a camera).  I need to get one for something that is coming up in my life. The maintenance guy from work shows up. He said there is a package for me. He asks my friend AG if I have been cleared to be here at this rodeo. He says he will ignore the clearance for me, but I just need to get out there and go get that package, it is important.

My mom was going to buy boots for me, I took them off and decided against them. She pulled out her money. It was US money, but it was pretty, pastel colors,  gold designs woven through and then a particular note that the president signs with blood. It seemed honorable in the dream instead of twisted. The people in the booth with the boots start helping me with ideas on how to get the bulb.

keeping roots

I dreamt that my mom was bleaching my hair. I didn't want it done. I wanted to go dark. My old ex boyfriend JBDSA was there and she was going to dye his hair as well. She sang out... J is going gray.....

It was strange but nice to see him. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn't think I would get a chance.

chocolate molds

I dreamt that I was driving in a strip mall parking lot. I was a bit lost and on my way somewhere. I had made a wrong turn that I had thought was a shortcut, but it was into a fast food joint. It wasn't a huge problem, I could just turn around, but it just was a delay.

I arrived at a school or? I went inside and it felt a bit like a mall, maybe due to the common area, a cafe in that area and so on. I went into a room. It was scattered with art supplies and was a bit of a mess. I think I was looking for my own things for a class. I sat down and saw that I had been given a kit of sorts. It was a model of locker or closet. It had food, bags, personal items. I guess I was supposed to play detective and find out what happened to the person that went missing by studying their items. I was kind of confused, but kind of excited to solve the puzzle. As I was hunting and pecking through the stuff, one of the instructors came in. He was the British fella from The Mindy Project. He had molds in his hands and he said to anyone who was listening to pick out two molds as we would be learning how to make chocolate and use molds today. I thought that might be fun as well. I liked creating things and using my hands.

purring kitten

I dreamt that I was with some people, involved but an outsider. I was cooking a nice meal for them. They all were impressed. I didn't think it was much as I just made it from a cookbook. As I was thinking this a guy looked up to me with a smile in his eye and then his finger to his lips to shhh me about the cookbook. He was going to give it as a gift and didn't want him to know it was used. I went into the kitchen and there were many small shelves. They had kittens on them... live ones.. pretty cute. I picked one up and pet it and it purred. For some reason this disturbed me. I was questioning why this was an enjoyable experience normally. Why should I get enjoyment out of a cat purring? The cat didn't really like me per say... it was just enjoying being pet. So I was being of service to a cat who couldn't care less about me and listening to it enjoy itself. Kind of not cool to me all of a sudden.

I put the cat back on the shelf.

Then I went into the bathroom for a shower. The bath rug was soaking wet. I rolled it up so it my feet wouldn't slosh on it. I decided to pass on the shower for now until I found a dry rug.

I went into the living room. Pharrell Williams was outside the door. He wasn't so classy though. He was dressed hoodlummy and was asking a roommate for money. I whispered to her to not tell him I was there. I didn't want to deal with that right now. I just wanted a shower. I just wanted my space back.

bent knifes

I dreamt that I was supposed to help my dad move. I was away in some farm country and he was at the coast. I needed to ride my bike out there, which was very far, but it was the only means I had and it was best not to think about it and just get on my bike and go. I rode up to the river, which would guide me all of the way there. I hadn't ever been there with a bike, only a car, so I wasn't familiar with the best way to get on the road that I needed to be on. I was in a transit type tunnel, but could see out the window to the roads and exits. I figured I would just try one and if it was wrong, try another. Even though I was trying not to be stressed about the length of my trip and how I was getting there, I was on a time limit. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it there on time, but I wasn't not going to try.

Then I was at a dinner. My aunt was there and distant cousins. Was I at the coast helping move already? not sure. We were all sitting to eat. I brought a vegetarian dish, not because I was a vegetarian, I just liked the dish. My distant cousin SM thanked me, as she was one. I accepted the thanks. We were trying to cut through some of the vegetables. Things that should be easy enough to cut through, cooked asparagus etc., but the normal knives were not doing the job. I happened to have a set of knives from home. They were special I guess. I've always liked nice design etc, but these were bent at a 30 degree angle. You would have to hold the knife handle off of the side of the table to make the blade reach the plate or what was on the plate. Even then, if you had a dish with a sloped edge, it would be almost impossible to use them. Very awkward and I didn't like the style. I wasn't sure why I had them. 

shadow dying

I dreamt that I was dying. A few people in my family already had died. It was some strange sickness. It wasn't painful or scary. It just started overtaking your body, like a dark shadow. You pretty much knew when you had it and how much time you had left. My dad had already had it and the shadow had already taken half of my body. The other half of the phase went quicker, so I was telling my brother good bye. I wanted to give him a hug or something symbolic of .. hey this is it... see ya. He was preoccupied. So I figured this was it... on my way out and uneventful. I was a little disappointed... like a major milestone birthday being forgotten.

lost dog

I dreamt I was with a friend, SK. I felt like we were in somewhat of a small town. The town was edged by fields which were now yellow for the season. We both needed to get somewhere and it was through one of two paths in the fields. I started out ahead. I felt like I was in a hurry... possibly more in a hurry so I could walk alone. I heard her call behind me to wait, but my fast walk turned into a jog and I jumped through the field to get to the other path. I'm not sure if it would get me to the same place, but I didn't care.

A car drove by on the dirt road next to the path. It was hot and dusty. I kept walking and found a dog next to a pile of things. It was a hound dog. I looked through the pile and in a backpack to see if I could find information on the owner. It seems the owner was an actor, some of his pages of lines were in there and some headshots. The dog was talking to me in a way, telling me that he lost his owner.

coat store

I dreamt that I went into a coat store. It seemed as though the staff was hustling and bustling, but the store was not officially open yet. It was clean, well planned and some very nice coats were in there. Actually, that is all they sold, except for a couple of items at the counter. A well groomed and slightly portly middle aged man was the manager there. He was very on top of his store and seemed to be a perfect fit for this role. Instead of letting me know that the store was not open, he instead showed me around the store, gave me his card and let me know that as soon as more items came in, that he would contact me and would be happy to help me with whatever I needed. I left with a very good feeling, wanting to come back.

work elevator

I dreamt that I had left for work. It seemed as though I was in the distant future, and I worked in a very large hospital. I had to park in the parking structure initially, which was a large dark building with many floors, connected to the hospital. I drove up a few floors and I thought one person was leaving, but they were taking their time, so I decided to move on. I kept driving and found an empty floor. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be there, as the floor was very dark. The floors of the hospital were many stories high and many stories below ground. The elevators seemed to go horizontally as well as up and down. Some nice employees were on the elevator. I wasn't sure which way to go or which button to push, so I told them to go ahead and push where they needed to go and I would figure it out on the way.

brass tilly

I dreamt that I was in an older Dutch lady's house. She was very proper but very nice. She wanted something fixed... wanted something called a tilly, but what she meant was a screw. In this country they didn't have traditional screws. I looked and looked through the drawers in the garage connected to the house.  I was looking for what a tilly might look like. I went back to a cabinet and other furniture to see what connected them. What I saw was brass flat things. They looked like just a flat piece of brass with prongs like a stud you might put on clothing. That didn't seem like what she was looking for. I felt the brass things was more like something to hide the top of a screw. I looked some more to see what tools might be used on a tilly and found a compressed paper tool that looked like a screw driver, but I knew that would crumble apart if it was used. I think I ended up finding something and went back into the house. The house was dark and the furniture was dark. I was thinking of the lady and if she was coming home soon, but I was running late for work, so I would get back to this later.

fisherman man

I dreamt that I was at someone's home. It felt a bit festive. I was with some strangers that were fun. I didn't know many of them, but we were all there for similar reasons it felt. It was rainy outside, so it felt cozy and fun to be indoors. There was a man that had come in with crazy brown hair and a beard. There was something about him that was attractive. He was there for a bit and left. I spoke to an older lady there. Someone that felt grandmotherly and seasoned. I guess I had told her that I had a crush on the man. The rest of us became busy with this and that and time had passed, possibly a day had gone by. Then the man returned... the bearded one I had a crush on. He was wearing a yellow raincoat and hat, as if he was an old fisherman. The older lady was letting him know about my crush and I could tell he was happy about the news.  While this was happening, I took another look at him. He didn't look the same... his nose was large and red as if he liked his drink. His demeanor wasn't quite the same. I had a feeling of panic. Did I like him??? What had I been thinking?  Then I calmed myself. Why not just see ... he can't be all bad.

photoshop camel

I dreamt that I was watching a video of a camel. There was this new software program that worked like PhotoShop, but you could alter images as they were moving. So a person selected the camels head and was making it larger as the video was going. It was pretty amazing and looked very easy to use.

slitting throats

I dreamt that I was in a room with some women. It was fine but then a couple of them started attacking, as in going to kill me attacking. I had a knife in my hand and I was going to use it if necessary. I ended up having to slit their throats if they got close to me. I felt I had no choice. It was me or them. It sort of felt as though each of these women were not humans.. but representatives of behaviors in me. And if I didn't kill the behavior, it would kill me.

seal swimming

I dreamt that I was sitting at a high table in a nice restaurant. It seems I was done with what I came there for, except I was waiting for my mother to show up. She did and she brought me some items. Things she wanted to get rid of that I might want, chotchkies and such. I must have liked something and it was a nice visit. I left feeling good. But I left just to another table in the restaurant across the way. It was a lower table. My friend sat on the bench against the wall and I chose a chair across from him. Food had already been served and it didn't seem like much. I was going through my purse and my mother had put some to-go sushi in there. I took it out quickly hoping none of the contents spilled out. I emptied the dish onto a plate and put the plastic container to the side, more to dispose of it as I wasn't going to eat it. Then I realized how bad that would look to a restaurant that I had brought my own food. I didn't have to explain to anyone and my friend and I were ready to leave. I went through the door and I was in a very different place. There was a water area, which was a pool of sorts. It was grand, long but not too wide.  People walked around he edges and carried on by observing, seeing and being seen, small parties here and there. It felt other worldly, as in a life that most don't get to live. I went right into the pool and started swimming towards the opposite end. I had my purse, which was now just a small flat one, in one had and was swimming along. A corner of it bumped into a man and I apologized, but he didn't seem to hear me over the noise and splashes of water. In a few moments he turned around to me. He had white blond curly hair, a constant smile in his eyes, and an air of confidence. He said, "You didn't have to go about it that way." I thought he was about to complain about me bumping him, but now I wasn't sure what he meant. Then he started flirting and I realized he thought I had bumped him on purpose because I liked him. I corrected him, but I don't think his ego heard it.

I kept swimming and I realized I was surrounded by gray seals. They were swimming with me and around me and it was sweet and fun. Then I swam to the edge. It oddly seemed to end at a sandy beach. I could look down to the coast and it was evening. I went to go put my hair up and I realized I had forgotten my hair clip. It was my go-to, my favorite and spendy... I didn't want to lose it. I swam back and now at the other end of the pool was a store. It was a small and nice and had unique beautiful items. I looked around, for some reason expecting to find my clip. I seemed to have found it and kept looking. The place felt like a fairy tale. I heard the bell on the door as it opened. I looked up and my friend KM came in. She was full of life as usual and was chatting and telling some story and laughing. We all looked around at this and that and were now up to the front where you could see through the windowed door. She saw that her sister was coming in with a group of friends and it was her birthday on this day. She quickly grabbed a banner and I grabbed the other end and we stretched the happy birthday across the entry way. KM(sister) opened the door and she was surprised.... 

bicycle grease

I dreamt that it was evening and a bit of another life. Although the same people as my current life. It was dark, my step mom was there. There was something about chocolates. Making sure they were packaged right, kind of like you would treat leftovers, checking for the fresh ones and tossing the others and finding the appropriate container for what is left. She hadn't had her chocolates yet and was glad to see that there were some left. I felt like there were chocolates with an apricot center. I asked if there was anything else I need to take. It seems I was going to a house and taking a stocking cap, and?? to my aunt, uncle and my dad. We were to leave in the dark hours of the morning and it seemed we needed to be timely about it. I liked having something constructive to do ... kept me out of my head.

Then I was on a bike with someone. A guy, I think a friend from Ohio (DM). We were riding our bikes and then stopped at a sort of mechanic shop. I think we meant to climb the fence and get past them but they saw us. We needed to act as if we came to see them and not just to cut through their property. They were an odd bunch, not quite right in the head. One was creepy and standing close to me, I could see that DM had his eye on everything, so I didn't feel too scared. He wouldn't have let anything happen to me. He was an old man with greasy gray hair, and you could feel the thick air around him as if he hadn't showered for days and held his own unkempt weather system. He was saying crewed things to me, trying to push my buttons... but he was unsuccessful. My opinion of him was a non-thing.. just something to step over to get on my way. A few more things were said and DM was able to find the right words to let us leave them and we moved on.

old peach

I dreamt that I was cutting a peach. I was happy to have finally found a peach that was ripe. My grandparent's had a fruit orchard and the peaches were amazing. Since then, I only find peaches that are hard as rocks on the grocery stores. This one had the right color, the right smell and I knew it would have flavor. As I cut into the skin, I was a little disappointed. The skin didn't break like a fresh peach, it was not so firm, so it went with the knife in for a bit before the knife could poke through. It was an older peach. It would still taste ok, but not the same.

broken scanner

I dreamt that I was at work, but the office was different. It was an open space with two levels. One level open to the next. I was going to leave with some friends but then came back. I had forgotten something. There was a man there threatening to kill us. I was trying to figure out a way to escape. I somehow was using the scanner not working as an excuse. It was as though it was legitimate for him to let me work on the scanner because it was an important thing to do. More important than his neurosis. 

falling walls

I dreamt that I was in a house. It seemed maybe lacking in something. It was in a place that I thought it should be more interesting, but the inside was plain and lacking personality. A man came in... he seemed like a Zeus type character. He had a long white beard, curly white hair, and he had a mighty feel about him. I liked him. He felt knowledgeable, and patient. He said you can't see what this house is and was. Then huge rectangular chunks of wall came down landing hard on the floor and shaking the house. Each one looked as though it was made of plaster. Each had a different color to it, and ornate trip at the tops and edges. They were beautiful and they were exciting to see. I imagined how beautiful this building must have been, what had gone on here.