ID, new way

I was trying to get home. I was supposed to meet up with a friend of mine (BM). I was to use his ID to return a rental boat or something. I was nervous that I didn't have my own ID and felt strange using his. I should have my own, I didn't want to follow in his footsteps and I wanted to make my own way. Although him helping me was a very nice feeling. I was worried but decided to just go and show up and see what happened.

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There was a big car and a nice little car. My friend really liked the old big car and I said I liked both. In reality I liked the little car, but I appreciated why someone would like the big car, but I would never want it for myself.
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I had another dream where I met some friends in some cafe in Berlin. It was a casual meeting (I had thought) and was kind of late. They gave me gifts and I felt bad but then realized it was my birthday. One gave me a little gift bag that I would look through later and another gave me a small paper plate with a vegan meal on it, carrots and gravy that did not look appetizing.  I had put the plate on my left shoulder and walked to a movie theater. It was kind of like an art school and they were showing a movie that night. I fit in but didn't, mostly didn't. There were some chairs set up like a normal movie theater and then a flat open space right in front of the screen with a piano to the side. I decided to sit down there, so I found a chair and started putting my things down. I noticed the plate fell off of my shoulder, so I went to pick it up and to see if any gravy got on my clothes or my hair. I was glad it fell because I didn't want the meal, just felt like I should show appreciation for the gift. I felt there was someone there to be nice to me too... in the same manner or feeling of the dream with the boat, but I wasn't looking for them or not seeing them.

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I had another dream that I was helping to manage a stage theater. A band was there waiting to set up. They asked me which way the stage was. I was about to give them this long description knowing they would get lost with it, so I paused. It was a way I had always went but it was long, with many turns and seemed awkward. The main reason I took it was because it was a way I knew and the door was close. Just about 10 feet away was another door that some how took you straight to the stage by walking down a hallway, no turns and no way to get lost. I was thinking... why don't I take that way? Just because the door isn't in front of me? Because i'm not used to it?  I told them the new way.

shortcuts

I was in a foreign country. I think Germany maybe?  I was talking to some friends there that were from that country. They were commenting on "Americans" this and "Americans" that.... basically stereotyping all the thing that supposedly all Americans do or are like. I was listening to them partially agreeing with the tinges of truth with little bits of defensiveness,knowing it was more work than it was worth to explain the intricacies of such a large country.  I had to go meet some people and so I decided to take a short cut through a shopping mall. It was quite the shortcut as I realized that it took much longer by underground and walking than by going through a few stores. It felt nice to go through the mall. Something about it felt familiar and so less stressful to navigate.

Reminds me of the hiking dream.

beach detective

I dreamt I was at the coast. I had been staying in a cottage for some function a friend was holding and then needed to go to the next location. I could actually get home in one day, but for some reason thought it would be nice to stay another night in a town farther down the coast that was on the way home. I checked into another little cottage, more of a motel really. It was simple and old, but warm and dry. I left to go to some diner. I was in the lobbyesque area where there are two glass doors at opposite ends before you reach the main entry. There was a man that I was meeting that was there to help me. I hadn't sought him out, but somehow he knew that I was up to something and knew that I would be in danger and needed help.  I had and was looking for information. This information would reveal something about someone. I felt like I had to hide what I knew at the same time look and ask for it. The man I met was more wise in the area of hunting down information, snooping and staying out of sight than I was. I was glad to have him around. He made me feel safe but at the same time held my activities to high standards. If I couldn't keep pace, he wasn't going to be dragged down by me.

club, 2 paths, fishing

I dreamt I was in a car with a guy. I know I didn't like him, that he wasn't my type (he was flashy, into money and showing off), that I didn't want to spend time with him, but I was still with him. We were headed to a late night club to meet a couple of my friends, who were not really my friends, who I was seeing to have someone to spend time with. It was late and the building was curved so you could park in a half circle around it. I saw close parking spots, but he kept going around to the back. I just wanted to get in and get out and actually not be seen.

 - - -

I had been on a hike with some friends and I think my brother. We left from a farm which felt like my grandparent's farm. It had a feeling of comfort, ease, and security. We packed up and went for a long hike through which seemed like red rock, the kind you might see in monument valley but smoother, and the path  was all next to a river. There were trees along the way, I remember eating cherries at one tree. It was a nice hike and I felt like I knew where I was going. We spent the night at one location and everyone had gone ahead. I knew this and or had agreed to it. It didn't feel bad or wrong. I was packing up my things but having a hard time concentrating. I would start packing, then clean up one section, then wonder if I should go to the bathroom, or if I should eat something, basically not getting any one thing done. It didn't feel good to be scattered. I also didn't know where I was going although I knew of some paths I could take. At one point I had a bird's eye view of the paths. One path was along the river and I could see it would take much longer. It wound back and forth and had water and trees which I like. The other path was very straight and through the canyon. It would be quick and direct to the destination. I wasn't sure which way to go.Although I knew I would enjoy the water, part of me liked the idea of speeding through. I didn't know which way to go.
- - - - - -
I dreamt that some friends were fishing. I really wasn't interested in fishing but felt like I was being a poor sport for not. I decided to go along with them, but not fish. We all went into an above ground pool and the guys had their gear on (wading boot/overalls) and my one friend brought his daughter with him and was going to teach her how to fish. They went into the pool and were casting their lines out into the grass. I didn't understand why they were doing this. This wasn't fishing. They daughter tried to cast, but the line would get caught at the edge of the pool or in the grass. I went to go help her untangle the line but I felt that there was no point. It was going to continue on being a mess and there was no opportunity to actually fish.

triplets

Hmm had another dream regarding names. It is foggy, but there were three men in suits with Beatles haircuts. They looked identical and there was something important about their names regarding who they were, would be and how it represented them. 

last name

I dreamt of a guy that looked sort of like Johnny Depp, sort of like a friend of mine from NY. He had the feel of both of them... kind of adventurous, artsy, following their gut. He was telling me his name (which I don't remember now). I said it really didn't suit him. His original last name was McKenzie or McKinnan and that seemed to work well with him and his career. But then his mother remarried and he adopted his step dad's last name which was Tattoo. He didn't like it either. It didn't fit with who he was becoming. 

bad shoes and barbie head

My dream started off with me having a birthday dinner with my family. For some reason it landed on Easter and so they took me out for an Easter brunch. It was my mom, her boyfriend, grandmother, brother, his wife and a German guy I met once in an Irish pub. We were sitting at a wooden table outside on the deck. I looked over to another table full of older ladies. One of them looked like an friend of mine's mother that I hadn't seen in years. I wanted to make sure then I could tell she was trying to figure out the same thing about me. So I waved, which as soon as I did, I realized it wasn't her and she didn't understand why I was waving. Another woman at the table kept looking at me too, but in kind of a ?? hmm... She wanted my attention.

So, the brunch was ending and my family paid. I felt bad for them paying but then realized it was for my birthday. I looked at the gift I was given. It was a pair of .. not so pretty shoes. They were very flat, very wide, very shapeless. I thought, well... I'm sure they are comfortable.. I should give them a try (or turn them in for something else). I  and my German friend were looking for the bathroom. I pointed them out to him and headed in the same direction. Then it went to me being in the upstairs of the building. It was almost like a youth hostel... casual, worn furniture, a pool table. I was sitting on the floor. My friend was there but then he was gone, so I continued to wait. Then I had my head in my hands... like detached from my body (although I was seeing out of the normal placement of my head and eyes). It was interesting to see my head from an outsider's perspective turning it this way and that. As I turned it around I realized I was trying to avoid looking at the eyes. It felt scary. I put the head down for a second and the eyes opened, clear and blue looking blankly at me. I quickly picked it up and turned it around to put it back on.

wedding exposure

At the beginning of the dream, I was helping set up for a wedding. It was for my step mom. When I was young, I always felt she was the bell of the ball, and she was here too. She seemed younger and everyone was doing this for her. I was all in raggy clothing after having been working on the set up. Her extended family was showing up in nice cars and clothing and I was needing to leave. They asked why and I was telling them I needed to dress nice too. Part of me felt less than, part of me felt out of place or not like the rest of them. As I was walking away, I walked by a blondish guy. He resembled a guy I had a crush on in first grade.... Patrick. Kind of a quiet guy that seemed thoughtful. He also seemed like a mix of another fellow I had a crush on when I was 18 and a mix of different blond characters that were always somewhat quiet, inwardly strong and I respected. Walking by him made me feel good.

Then it seemed the wedding was over, and I was in bed in a house I was sharing with some other wedding goers. I was getting flashbacks of the night before. Everyone was pretty drunk and silly, but for whatever reason, it was ok for them (in my mind) but not me. I felt exposed, stupid and so on. I realized I wasn't alone in bed. The guy I like had just walked in the house and I was panicked that him seeing that I was in bed with this other fellow would ruin things (although we had both been just sleeping because it was a place to sleep). When my friend showed up, a few people did cause a bit of a hubbub and the guy in bed left and others left. They fellow I liked just continued to do what he was doing, and asked if I was hungry and if anyone wanted to head over to subway to get something. I was a bit relieved. I knew that what we had was stronger than one experience blowing away what we had. As we were walking to the subway, people were asking each other what they would get. I had something in mind with pickles and turkey. Someone said... people who get that are ??? somethings. I think I was defensive at first and then it was ok to be a ??? something I decided.. it was what I was.

Then I was in some hotel. I was walking up the stairs to my room. We were all scantily clad and I was feeling exposed. It was a similar situation in that... although we were all in the same situation, I felt more out of place or in the wrong than the others. I walked to the very top of the stairs hoping to avoid being seen. I would peek out a bit here and there to see the others. Then for whatever reason I thought... guess what.. you have to do abc.. you need to get these things done for yourself, exposed or not. Go... (live)... and so I walked down through them and I felt relieved. 

two ships

I was in a friend's parents' boat in the front of their house. It needed some fixing inside, but I was going to be living in it for a while. They were kind and nice seeming. I had woken and was kind of in my own world regarding time and what I would be doing that day. He (kaz) went from the house down the stairs to another boat parked along the street. He called or texted me to come over. I said I can't, I need to take a shower and and and.... which was always my story with him. He was frustrated, but expected it and so didn't stop asking.

new language

I had an intense dream, although I am missing the details. I know I was speaking another language and working with a foreign government. A blond stern looking man was barking orders of what needed to happen. It wasn't a bad thing though. It felt exciting and like I was part of something. 

excuse

I had a dream about my family. I was home in the house we lived in and both my brother and myself were living there. I felt as though we were our current age and my mom was her current age. I was frustrated. I didn't feel like anyone understood the situation that I was going through. No one listened. And in having lived in that situation and possibly not being heard, it was my excuse to be less than and not live up to my potential. It was interesting to feel the strong feelings of struggle, loneliness in not being  understood and so on, but at the same time thinking what a waste of all of these years.

frog

The dream was part cartoon ... the frog. Myself and some people were swimming. We were having a good time I think...  and there was a frog in there with us. He was a cartoon, but you could tell he was having fun and happy too.... One of the women start not seeming happy. She was on the surface, but was angry or bitter, then another man was nervous... when these things happened the frog would get hurt or sink. I dove down to get the frog and brought him back to his floatie. He seemed to be doing ok again, but I was worried... but that didn't help him. The more these people were  unhappy, or we worried about him not being happy he would sink. The way to make him not sink, was to just be happy. The frog died. :(

punishment

being in a pub with a high school friend and?? and wanting to order... but possibly too late.... wanted one thing... fries sounded good but knew not good for me and everyone else ordered healthy. mike from uk ordered potato salad

then bartender asked us to write a list of the seats.... table 1 - seat 1,2,3  so 1-1, 1-2, etc. to estimate #of orders or something like that..... or check for mistakes. I found one, almost in a "found one!" sort of way and overheard the bartender saying that if he had enough issues, and his license is checked (he was in trouble for something in the past).... minor, and if they found out, his job would be gone, so I got rid of the information....

dreamt of WW (friend in the Netherlands) ... and crossing intersections... he said each time you cross one you have to pay.... I don't remember him paying so I was asking for clarification... maybe he meant something else?? I said we don't pay here..... he said of course you don't in america..... but blah blah etc... like it was a higher thing (in the way it is "higher" to live hard or live with less or no pain, no gain) to have to pay to get through something...

sophie, dresses, ex's

First I dreamt of my dog Sophie. I havent' had her since 2004 and she might have passed away by now. In my dream I was watching her for someone else in a house. She was being cute and playful as always. I was walking her around in town and she was about to dart out in the road, so I picked her up. I could feel how soft her fur was etc. (she was a lhasa apso). I said something like... maybe you should be my dog again... she agreed some how. It felt nice and right.

- - - -

I went to an exboyfriend's house. I had forgotten I had left some things. I had some little piece of furniture and then a pile of clothes I had forgotten about. Most of the clothes were new and they were dresses and some shoes. I was excited because I didn't feel I had enough clothes and they were also fun. When I am low on clothes, I tend to buy practical things. My exboyfriend was there with me and he was being very nice and helpful. I think we were past anything that was uncomfortable and remembering the nice things. His brother was there too. He was showing me a headboard he made for me. He said he had the idea before we broke up, but he had finally finished it and would like me to have it. It was different in that the back of the headboard had one corner touching the wall as normal and as you went to the other corner that supported the bed that  would normally be against the wall, it went out at about a 30 degree angle away from it. In the space between the bed and the wall was a flat surface and there was a small sink (In the dream my wall in my bedroom had plumbing there). I thought... I guess that could be handy...??  But it was very nice of him and it felt very nice. I went to my car to drive it closer to get my clothes, and when I came back, his mother (who wasn't my biggest fan) had sold my clothes in a garage sale she was having. I was kind of mad, but more I was wanting to hunt down the person and get the things back. I knew they had to be close. I was only gone a second. I had everyone looking for me and we finally found all of the clothes. The mother wanted to look through everything to make sure.. she was almost going to charge me for them... (and really, I didn't care... just wanted them). She saw one dress that wasn't mine. At this point she turned into a boss I had on the weekends when I was in high school. She was a bit of a know it all, a bit controlling. When she started talking I immediately tensed up and was on the defense. I had the feeling that she is someone who controls, tries to take your freedom away and so on. But my reaction was to defend even if there was nothing to defend against. But I got my things and was on my way...

- - - -

Not sure where this one started... but I had some complication going on between my exboyfriend from high school and some other students. It is like in high school when everyone gets involved with a relationship like it is an old village and they are all working together to make sure things go ok. Kind of sweet in a way looking back at it. But at some point I was in a store. I was about to go on vacation and didn't have many things, so I thought I should buy at least a couple of light tops. I was walking and found a nice light blue-green one that was not so much a t-shirt, so it could be worn for nicer things. At this point a clerk walked up to me that knew me. A guy classmate had come in and was looking for me. I told him thank you and that I would hide amongst the clothes for a while. I had been having a nice time leisurely shopping and didn't want to stop yet. I had a few things under my arm and wanted to try them on and then I ran into more classmates. They were saying that guy A was saying we went out, but what about guy B and so on. I said I hadn't seen anyone in a year, so they maybe have a good imagination. They were all being friendly and nice and mainly were concerned for my well being as much as their's. We sat near the registers. There were some steps and some displays near us with some small hand bags, belts and things. there was a silver frog that was standing with a large opening for his mouth. I kind of wanted to buy it for the office to hold my pencils. I was looking at these things as my friends were talking. One friend was saying that she had just lost some more weight (she was larger but now very small). She was all happy, but the friend next to her had gained and wasn't showing that she was super happy for her. The guy that had come looking for me was sitting by me. I had always had a crush on him in high school and he had always been nice.

- - - - - -

Then some dream I was working... having lunch or dinner at a restaurant. The woman was serving us in a speedy manner. She was apologizing for her manner in a way, saying "people think because I am fast, that I'm being rude, but I'm just trying to be efficient and get everything everyone needs." I told her I didn't mind. She didn't seem rude as much as not pleasant to be around. We were about to pay the bill and my friend and I were figuring out tip and cash or credit and so on... He had dropped some money and I had picked it up and then there was confusion about tip. He thought I would tip her too much and I had said no.... I just want to make sure she is tipped.

dalai lama

I dreamt I was part of this group of people. Not sure if it was a work group, a school, or???  I was asked to make a fan ? or a ??? for the dalai lama that was visiting. I had to make it out of red and orange tissue paper or cloth that was given to me. I had a second of a feeling of "how do I do this??" and "why me?" and "will my colleagues be upset I was chosen?" The second went quick. I had a task to perform, I was happy to perform it and I knew it would come to me on how to do it. I went into the room where he would speak. It was a small room with about 4 to 5 rows of tables covered in red cloth that were low to the ground. I went to the back row and started wrapping and twisting and had just about finished. I could hear people milling into the room. One of the head people was saying "why are we using orange and red together, that is just stupid." I wondered for a second if I should take the orange out of my project, but realized that is what the dalai lama was wearing."  A man came by me and wanted to sit by me, but I could also see he was checking the table. I looked up and had realized there were name cards on the tables as to where you should sit. The dalai lama was in the room at this time and was looking around pleased. I had one more thing to fasten on the thing I was making but thought I had better find my correct seat. I looked around and I was at the front. I saw that we had a notebook at each sitting and some supplies. I wondered if it was ok to use tape to finish. I decided to go ahead and use it. 

cake

I remember the end of the dream... my hair was horrible. The last person who covered for my hairdresser damaged it and I didn't feel like I could go out. My normal one was out for surgery. I went back into the salon hoping they could help me or cut it. I went in and they were milling about chatting. I think some event in the salon was going to happen. The women were the kind that are boisterous and laughed loud, but were sad and angry on the inside. The more sharp and loud their laugh, the more pain the were feeling. I thought I should first ask how my hairdresser was doing after surgery and I'm not sure I had an answer, but she was fine and then in the salon. I didn't feel like I could ask for my needs to be met because they seemed all busy with theirs. Due to her returning, they had a cake for her. It was a shallow sheet cake almost like a jelly roll pan and the frosting was designed in to squares with a dot of frosting in the middle of each. Easier to cut etc. As they left, I was eating the cake... first one piece, then two... then I realized I had a handful of pieces and it was noticeable. I'm not sure why I was eating it. I wanted to leave and I didn't care for cake so much. I heard someone walking up to the door and saying.. oh that "fill in name"  ... she has zero control over her eating. I felt stuck like I should hide the cake.

basement apartment

I was driving my car home realizing I had been back home 3 days and hadn't checked for an important letter. For some reason, I wasn't supposed to be driving. A police car was sticking its nose out of a mcdonalds driveway and so I saw him, panicked and then turned down the next street and parked in someone else's driveway and started to walk away thinking I would walk home. I realized that would defeat the "getting the important letter" purpose, so I turned around to walk back. I could hear a voice that sounded like my dad's. I looked up and saw that he was at some music equipment store across the street. I walked quickly and avoided his eyes. He saw me. I kept walking and went straight to my car. I knew he would be busy for a few more minutes. I walked back to my car and there was a man there... seemed homeless and he was talking to me loudly and I was trying to be invisible. It wasn't working and my dad came around the corner. I said I was in a hurry... had to pick someone up and I guess I took off. Although I really stayed there. Some women were showing me a basement apartment. It wasn't quite finished but it would due for the price and it had oddly high ceilings for being a basement. A young couple came in.. young woman that was french I think and very pretty and lithe and a young man that would bounce back and forth from being black or asian. She had come to see me because I was known (in the dream) for my design skills with clothing and 3D visual ability to solve problems with shapes. She sort of irritated me from the first moment. At first I thought... oh...maybe I'm just jealous because they are young, free spirited, attractive and following their hearts... why hadn't I? But then I realized it was more that she was trying to get by things.. not necessarily in an intentional way, but she herself wasn't aware of herself, her surroundings, how she affected other things and others. I was showing her a way of creating a pattern and was telling her to be very careful of the what looked like very thing but somewhat flexible mirror sheets. She barely listened to me and then broke one with a dumb look on her face and no hint of an intention to replace it or utter an apology... More like it was a natural disaster that couldn't be helped.

movie, fiesta ...???

I dreamt I was in a movie theater with friends and family. The movie was playing and it was dark. There was a control panel on the seat back in front of me and it was to watch previews of other movies. I pushed play and didn't realize it would be in a 3D hologram type thing. A man that seemed a little larger than a human popped out of the panel and leaned over me while other items came out the sides, but I didn't notice those so much. He was the main focus and telling the story of the movie. I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying because I was embarrassed that I pushed play during the movie and was disturbing other movie goers. The feeling of this 3D character was nice. Although I could see through him, he also seemed and felt (emotionally) real. I didn't want the projection to stop because it seemed like it was the only thing happening to me that was nice.  A boy walked by and was excited about the projection just as it stopped and he was asking how he could see it too. Then we left.. my mom was in it. Not a good feeling with her again.

We left here and were?? not sure where. I think there had been a Christmas of sorts or? There were present type things around. Some little dolls that when I was younger (in my dream)... had some meaning for me. Originally they were Christmas dolls and they had decided to make them in fall colors. Normally I think I would have liked the idea, but this time I didn't. It felt like hmm... like taking away from something... using another's idea... making for making's sake to make money without the original intent.

We were walking back to the apartment and then I think it was just me. I'm not sure what city I was living, but the area didn't seem so nice. A friend (MW) of a friend stopped over meaning to see my friend (MB). I was getting ready to go out (must have taken a shower at some point) and he was chit chatting. We were talking about exercise. I knew that (MB) had criticized him for doing Pilates, but I liked it... so I brought up that I liked it out of the blue and he was so happy to share with someone how good it was for him. I was then telling him about some I'm doing and so on. Then as I was leaving he asked me something about (MB) and if I knew blah blah... and I did know blah blah.... so we had something else shared.

I went outside and there were stacks and stacks of bread next to light poles. The bakeries would leave them there instead of throwing it out over night. I thought it was strange that people were not taking them (homeless, birds and so on). The neighbors in the small apartment were having a party for their daughter. They didn't speak English, but they were cooking and decorating and the mother was in good spirits and excited. We (it wasn't really my apartment... maybe MB's), shared a backyard and she was going into MB's fridge to get some supplies. Some friends were yelling at her to let her know it is not a community fridge, but she was only taking one quarter of a water melon and some strawberries. She was making a bit of a sculpture with it to be eaten later. 

yelling colors

Last night... horrible dream. I was at my mom's and I felt ?? enclosed? controlled? etc. I was trying to tell her things but she wouldn't believe me. I was screaming (the truth) at her and he just wouldn't listen... I woke up breathing super hard and fast. Was weird.

-----

Then I had a dream I was in school.. First I was in a playground and found some gloves.... first some leather, then I realized there were a few pairs, all black, all different and all new. Initially I thought I should take them to the lost and found, but then I kind of wanted to try them on... and also thought.. hmm... all of these new gloves that are random, probably someone stole them (more of an excuse to not turn them in). I thought I would go try them on first in the office and then turn them in. I was trying to but the a short haired blond woman asked if I had found some clothes.... I said no.... then later I said... well these gloves. I knew she had been involved in shady stuff and I just didn't want to be a part. Then I was looking in the school and everything was soft and colorful. They said it was a new design they were trying at our school. Bouncy floors and walls and strange things to climb. I thought this would all be nice as long as nothing would spill on it.

tomato sauce

I dreamt I was at this small restaurant. I knew some of the people that worked there. This Italian guy was the main chef and?? I was thinking of getting a part time job there as a waitress while I went back to school for ?? A friend of mine asked for an application for me. This little old Italian man worked there too. I was late there one night and the Italian guy was saying how busy he was. He had to work there all day and then at night made the tomato sauces. One spicy for pizza and one more mild for pasta. I think he was hinting that I could do that job. I liked the idea because I wasn't really into my schedule changing each week and being a waitress. I said I would do it. I was peeling and seeding tomatoes while we talked. The next day the old man came in to taste the sauces. I was feeling like they were not up to par because the tomatoes I used didn't have much flavor. I knew he thought so too, but also was expecting worse from my first try.

- - -

I was with a friend of mine from Chicago. She had an old brown station wagon and we were off doing some errands for her. She went into a store and I was getting bored waiting, so I went in too. I was a little concerned because I didn't lock the car with the little dog, but it was also a very small town. We left the store to find the wagon and the dog. She was saying... you want to watch a movie tonight? There is that movie done by the same guy as "the breakfast club."  I knew what she meant, but didn't really want to see it.

costume

I dreamt I was with schoolmates I've never met before. We were all to attend a costume party and I was supposed to go as someone from the Renaissance  .... white wig, large dress etc. I was running through my mind of where to find things. A little stressed... a little excited... I knew I had stockings... and I would make it happen. It was something too fun to mess up.  Then there was a car ... it ran out of gas... the whole dream felt like an out of luck, out of money student... scraping to get by to do fun things... but still in a stressful way. 

waiting room and Peter Jackson

I dreamt I walked into a waiting room. There was a couch with divided cushions and a wooden frame against the wall facing me and then the wall to the right seemed to be beyond my vision and the reception was to the left.

There were a few people in there, some I felt I knew, others felt like strangers. I immediately noticed a guitar case shaped thing on the floor and knew I wanted it. It seemed there was a sort of antiques or estate sale going on in the waiting room. I was rustling for dollars in my wallet as I walked up to it wanting to make my claim. For some reason I knew the item was $13.00 and I knew I had enough. It was a case like a guitar but it seemed larger, like a bass, but flat like a guitar case. The case itself was a warm brown color with blond stitching and the inside was a blond tweed look. The body of the case opened up to reveal a turn table, cassette players and a cd player. I took an old album out and tested it. It sounded amazing. I was so happy to have found it. It was two things that I liked... something old with a story and good quality. I went back to waiting room mode and an old high school mate walked in. I had recently seen him at a reunion, but this version of him was almost morphing him between his high school appearance and present time. He was excited and high spirited, half way between the past and the future and very unsure of who he was and was here for a change. He seemed to know he wanted it for sure and that he would get it.

Then the right wall that I couldn't see before was an opening to the outside. There seemed to be a large gathering ... like a reunion. Peter Jackson came up to me. He felt like an old friend. He was showing me this metal object in his hand. It was almost like a large egg shape on top but ornate and beautiful and then was larger on the bottom. I'm not sure what it was meant for. I commented on in and the said something like ... aaah... it comes with the job.. people giving you things like this... We got on a little scooter with a trailer hitched to the back. He was riding... We were driving through the grass on a small path and we tipped over slightly. It was easy to pick it up, as it was so small, but we decided a drive through an orchard on the soft ground might not be a good idea, so we turned back. We ended up back at the gathering... it was getting to be dusk and there were lights hanging in the trees. There was an outdoor bar, but I really didn't want a drink...

drought...

Hmm.. having a hard time remembering my dreams lately... which is odd for me.

I was checking out places with a friend.... not sure where or why...

I had a few dreams... about 3... and I think they all (including the above) felt like they had to do with testing, analyzing and choosing... Like I have pared things down to the last few choices, and with these I am to dig deeper, get clear and go ahead and make the choice. Not frenetically, but promptly.

blue bow

I had a dream of a friend of mine that is kind of outspoken and crass. Nice girl, just not always socially appropriate, but is completely authentic. In this dream she was unusually dressed for her style. She had almost drag queen like makeup on in royal blue, sparkles and glued on sequins. Her dress was also of royal blue and a bit over the top (think 80's Dynasty suit with broad shoulder pads) and she had a huge blue bow in her hair. I was looking at her and thinking... how does she do it? She dresses like this ... acts like that ... but she always seems to succeed, is admired and so on. Then I remembered that she is always true to herself, 

one tooth

I don't remember most of the dream. It started out pleasant... but then I was in a room and not giving this man what he needed ... a service? an object? or he was just at wit's end. He opened his mouth wide to where his face split in half and he screamed with frustration. His face was red as if he had just been scraped or burned and he had one tooth on his upper gums. 

underground train

I dreamt I was about to take a train. I was at the ticketing windows and was running late. I walked down a tunnel that was tiled in shiny grayish white tiles. I'm not sure if that was their color, the lighting or that they were old and dirty. The lights were a bit dim I think to save the eyes of late night travelors. The tunnel curved around and then you reached some stairs that would take you the platform. On the way down I thought I saw my exboyfriend. I just saw the side of his face and was trying to avoid him, so I wasn't sure. Then he ran up behind me and said hello, how've you been and so on. He was very nice and a bit apologetic. It was kind of nice to see him. Then I either missed my train or realized I had the wrong ticket and ran back up the stairs and through the tunnel to purchase another. This time on the way down... I ran an slid down the tunnel. I realized this is why it was curved. A man behind me in a suit holding a briefcase was doing the same. It was fast and kind of fun, but I was thinking... I probably am getting my skirt dirty.

freedom vs security

I dreamt I was with this family. Events happened before, but then I remember being with two women. One.. a matriarch ... maybe the mother, the other the daughter and I... not sure what I was. A sister? a daughter? a stranger?   A man came home and he was a controlling angry man. I think he was telling the women what to do and could sense my foreigness to what he was doing. He came up to me.. held one side of my head to keep it steady enough to punch with the other hand/fist with the goal of breaking my nose, as well as showing who was boss. He then asked/told myself and another girl ... the daughter, to go to the market for particular items. We left. As soon as we felt at a distance, I told her that we had to take this opportunity to leave and escape.  She rejected the idea although I know she wanted to not experience fear again. But she knew here life, her clothes were in a closet, the dishes were familiar, she knew her routine and how to react to her family. I was adamant...  there seemed to be a woman there.... counselor or? I said.. please.. we need to tell her why she needs to do this now.. or she needs to go back so she won't be in trouble for being late. But we need to rescue her.

I retold the dream in the morning to a friend.... I realized I was both myself and the girl. .. (if you ever have a strange or intense dream... repeat it aloud to someone. makes more sense.)

egyptian, babysitting

I dreamt I was in the desert. It was evening and a little cooler and everyone seemed to be in an excited mood. Something special was going to happen that night. It seemed that we were at a location where an important tomb or something was. They had tried several times in the past to make something happen there... either a door open, or a sacred event create some sort of special happening, but each time they failed. I and another women were very excited because we realized that we had to dress a certain way and welcome in what ever it was that needed to happen. We both had black wigs on that were cut blunt at the bangs and blunt at the shoulders, a white Egyptian dress of sorts with a  gold collar and black around the eyes as well as gold dust on our skin. It seems the full costume was important and the gold dust inparticularly. I'm not sure if it was because the gold reflected light that would attract something?? or it showed us to be one of them?? or??  Whatever it was, we knew it would work this time. A man in the group was commenting on how it made so much sense now... How the old houses in the south had a statue out front to welcome people in and so on.

We were all joyous and excited and laughing for this event.

 - - - - -


I saw a couple at a dinner place. I knew them as my friend's parents. I think I was dating this friend but not sure. They asked me back to their house and said he (GEdP) was waiting for me. They were going to go out that evening and left his little brother and sister for us to watch. After they left, I could hear him on the phone. He was talking to friends and making plans for that night. I was a little miffed because I thought we would have a nice night together with the kids. I acted like I didn't care and decided to focus on what activities the kids and I would do. The boy was playing with some board game that was my friend's and the little girl was playing with something more girl like.. My friend came in and was playing his own game until it was time for him to go. He saw his little brother wanting to play with his game and I knew my friend would be upset, so I told him nooo... you have this other game to play with and the pieces are too small and dangerous to swallow your lose.  I could tell my friend was glad I did it because he was about to yell at the boy.

old man

Dreamt that I was very tired. My friends and I had returned from something.... we lived in a small town with not much to do. There was this old man that kind of kept to himself. His house was not well kept, but it was orderly enough. I didn't have a place to stay, so he said I could rest on his easy chair if I liked. I felt uncomfortable, more so due to what my friends would say... This man was kind of different and scary... not due to his looks or actions, but more that no one really knew him well. I fell asleep quickly on his chair. When I woke up, I realized I needed to get going as I might be late to meet a friend of mine. I left the house without seeing the old man. I met my friend in time. He was in his backyard doing weeding and mowing. I was there to help him that day. It felt like we had a nice relationship and I was happy to be spending time with him.

JB heels

-----





I was in a big house. Some rich people owned it. I was looking at the floors with a designer. They were patterened but the design was not layed out correctly on purpose. The blond designer was tentatively liking it, but I didn't care for it. I felt bad if I made him feel worse. I went to go to bathroom in the "powder" bath but it ended up being a large and luxurious room. It had a bath tub and there were some fancy high heels in there... black snake skin, and a silver heel that was about 1 inch wide and a triangular shaped cylinder. For some reason I wrote JB inside the heel with a felt maker...when I wrote it the heel was snake skin, not silver. Then I tried to turn on the water to go to the bathroom (for some reason) and water poured everywhere from a showerhead installed above the toilet. I tried to sop it up with the large navy towels in the bathroom, but didn't do a very good job. I went to talk to this woman in the house... I think the owner, her name was Susan. She was part counselor part intuitive. We met years before and she asked how I was. It was amazing though because she remembered details of our first appointment. Then she mentioned the heels... and how horrible it was that someone wrote on them. I wouldn't confess, I didn't remember why I had done it and wasn't sure what to do. She was going on about how expensive they were, and I was trying to play it down, but it didn't work. I kept trying to act concerned and be in wonder about why someone would do such a thing and who it could be. I felt horrible. Then it was her husband sitting on the couch. I was complimenting his wife on her abilities.

team building

I was in a company and we were doing team building. My team was done and I was overhearing this other team finishing up. I saw something happen and them run around and then laughing. Then they told me... one guy was a fridge and he said "hey.. you opened my door and are letting energy out. Always close it unless say... a thermo nuclear reactor is down or".... then another guy puts out flat palm ... "no mouse"  There was suppose to be a mouse in his hand. They all panicked realizing they lost the mouse and were running around looking for it (what I had witnessed). Then we were all laughing at the story.

Christmas lights, candles, kittens

I dreamt that I was staying in a basement at my aunt's. She was trying to make it cozier for me so she was stringing up Christmas lights. These were not your typical little white lights. Over each light was an object, a white church, a little house with snow on the roof, a poinsetta, a snowman, etc. It was kind of over the top as each object that the light would show through was large, but it was nice of her and I was kind of interested in seeing what it all looked like when it was done.

- - - -
I was coming home from a restaurant with some friends. An Italian friend of mine (C.F.) and a guy from my German class(S.). It was dark and rainy outside and we were getting in or out of a car. Another friend of mine was there (B.M.), who is a photographer. They were all working on some project and they wanted me to be in it singing. I said really??? I'm not a singer. But for whatever reason, they still wanted it. I went into what seemed to be my apartment. It was cluttered, a bed on the floor, candles everywhere, flowers, draped fabric in reds and golds. I felt like there was something between S and I and it was nice. I fell asleep on the bed and when I woke up, I realized I was somewhat late, somewhat not feeling myself and worried that I had left the candles burning all night. I went around to each one blowing them out and the kittens were jumping up on tables following me around. I was worried they might catch on fire, and I felt lucky the place didn't catch on fire while I was sleeping. All of the candles were burned down to the ends. One candle was interesting.. it was large and hollowed out in the middle from burning all night, but there was a wick on each side of the hollow.. as if there were three places to burn a candle from. I left from there to go to a medical office. It was still evening and I took a cab.. I think I was a nurse or worked there.

glider

I dreamt of a guy I used to know. He was radioing me from a glider type thing that actually looked like a one person helicopter, but the size of one person. He wanted me to be part of some experiment he was doing. We were outside on a grassy hill with cherry blossoms around. It was pretty and pleasant and he was just about to land. When he landed I went to go find where he was and to see what was next. There was a strong sense of working together... there were other people there, young girls, a grandpa, ...? All with a sense of belonging.

construction supplies

I dreamt I was needing to purchase a product, but I needed to belong to a certain group in order to get in the store. The men that worked there all had dark green uniforms on. I snuck up to the yard office and took one of their coats so that I could go in unnoticed. I saw that an old man saw me and he was looking at me suspciously. I felt nervous so I got what I needed and then hung the coat back on a hook. When he came out to speak to me I said that I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. Then he was pleasant and nice and I realized I had nothing to fear. He just wanted to tell stories and have someone to talk to. Then I went from there in a big truck to someone's backyard. It was kind of like a farm, but I'm not sure what they were raising or growing. The back of the truck was full of wires and brush, so it was difficult to keep steady. There was a nice young guy there, (that I had in reality just met the night before) and he was very sweet telling me how things go, what needed to be done and so on. I looked in the back yard and realized that a huge rectangle had been cut out of the earth, with just enough space for the truck to fit in. And the truck was so full, that it just looked like it was a continuation of the yard.I thought it looked like a bad idea, and that they should fill it back in with dirt

detective, french actress

I dreamt I was supposed to be searching for something in a food warehouse. I was going down aisles that had open shelving of produce and I was to find certain floor tiles that had a bit of a nick in them. These were the tiles that were hollow underneath and I was supposed to look under them for something, although not sure what. I worked steadily looking for them trying not to be noticed. I was seen by either an owner or a clerk and they walked straight over to me. I quickly replaced a tile and they telling me this was only a place for restaurant owners and chefs etc. I ignored what she said and went on to say how I was unimpressed with the ?? some herb and what I was expecting to find. She immediatley assumed I was the right kind of customer and went on to show me other items in season, blueberries etc. Then I walked down an aisle and some friends of mine were sitting at a table, a French guy (JL) and another friend (PC). We were sitting to have a late lunch or dinner. The owner came over and she was chatting us up being a little overly friendly. She said ooooh... (looking at me) I remember now.... you were the one who openned up that great bottle of wine, (in my mind running through some of the nice wine I have had and which it could be)... then she said it was a ?? blanc. I was thinking white?? I openned up a great bottle of white wine??? Then she walked away, she was Cecil de France .

When she walked away. I told my friend... she is that woman in the movie we say .... blah blah blah... JL said..."I deedn't like zat feelm." and made a face.

smashed crab, cracked building

I dreamt I was walking into a shallow pool. I went in with a friend of mine. Then I noticed there was a giant crap... as in took up most of the bottom of the pool, below us. I noticed the crab was smashed in the back. It's shell was in pieces and it's ? meat? was sticking out. My friend when to pull on the shell and I cringed. I said you will hurt him. I could somehow feel the crab was hurting. It was awful.

- - - - -

Then I was looking out at a landscape. It was where a school was that I must have attended. There were beautiful green hills in the backdrop sloping down into a green valley. The only obstructions were poor building planning. Thought and or effort that did not go into the buildings and the construction. We were in the present but were able to look at how it was in the past. My friend was saying how this and that was horrible. I looked at one building that used to exist. It looked like a squattier version of Pisa but made with red brick. It was crumbling. I said the idea was still nice, they just needed to build it better and with nicer materials. Then there was a pile of ?? dirt and clay. It was a place the school would use for mock archaeological digs. I said I loved that idea. He thought it was atrocious.

dog fur

This one is kind of foggy... I know I was in a house either picking something up from a friend's? a bike? or? Seems as if there was possibly a garage sale going on?? or?? A friend of his came over and he had a HUGE dog...like ... between a horse and a great dane. It rubbed up against me and would leave tons of hair on me. As it would walk by, the hair would roll up together so I could pull it off in long strips the size of a cat's tail.

irish wedding and precious cats

I dreamt I was in Ireland. I was going there to see friends and go to a wedding. We were all staying in one old building and the bride had already been there, making lists of tasks that we would do for the wedding. She brought her three cats along and they had already made themselves at home in the apartment. I was happy to have a place to stay, as I didn't really plan well. We were in a room, some guys and girls and waiting for when we were supposed to leave for something. Our host said... isn't precious cute? (meaning one of her cats).. then one of the friends, an overweight black girl said... Precious?  I'm the one called Precious, you need to rename your cat.

ex friends, ex boyfriends...

I first dreamt of a girlfriend of mine that we split off in bad terms. I had written her to see if she had any photos of us. She sent me a box that had anything that had to do with our friendship in it and things that came from inspiration from our friendship. Was she done with it all? We talked and were cordial. It was strange and left a pit in my stomach. That feeling of guilt, regret, unknown feelings, ...

That went to running into my exboyfriend's group of friends and family. There was some event at a restaurant/hotel. I couldn't get away from them and part of me just wanted to face it and be done. The dream went on and on... gave me the same feeling as above but with a bit of relief in that I wasn't fighting it anymore...

Then I was sharing an apartment with my exbf. We had just bought a couch together. There was a cloth on top of it and when I would pull it up, the light would hit the couch and a dark spot would show itself... then be fizzed out (like a foamy cleaner) by the light. As each spot came up, the light would show and it would be "fizzed" and gone again. I was regretting moving in with him, regretting purchasing a couch with him.... and so thought... we could take it back now... the couch had something wrong with it and we can undo all of our commitments. Then a woman came in. Someone I used to work with. She was a classically beautiful person, but had a bit of a dorky countenance, so her pretty was slighted by her presence. In the dream she walked in and was elegant and beautiful. She had moved from being the awkward duckling to a princess. She pulled out two gowns she was to wear at some event.... My ex was basically drooling. He thought she was beautiful. She walked to look out the window wearing a teal satin gown with an exposed back. She looked so feminine, so beautiful.. I felt like there was no way I could compete, not that I had to. 

grass rug, concert and white rats

I dreamt that an african man gave me a rolled up grass "rug." It has a wooden pole at each end and then blond woven grass between. I found a place in a seating room to lay it down. He looked disappointed and insulted. This was not a rug, it was a wall hanging.

- - - - - - - - - - -
I dreamt our workgroup came back from a fieldtrip during a retreat. We came back to where we were staying and I was running up to the building to put things back at my bunk. A guy at work asked if I could print something for him, he had it in his hand, but he had dropped some water on it. I said sure, and then he changed his mind and said he would wait for his current copy to dry. Then there was going to be entertainment. A man was singing in the front. I recognized his music and was excited to be able to listen. I saw some guys get up and leave because it wasnt' their type of music. The man went from sitting in a chair playing guitar, to being dressed in a skirt and wig and was done up like a woman for shock value. He was singing and dancing and being gregarious. He walked over to a stone wall (we were in some sort of historic building or archaeological site). He was singing and walking up the wall hanging on to metal rings that were placed here and there. It was amazing how well he was doing beings it was his first time there and he hadn't practiced. I was way in the back, standing... almost as if I wasn't part of the people that should be entertained. He walked through the crowd straight to me, not taking his eyes off me while he sang. He told me I was beautiful, really beautiful and then he kissed me. It wasn't a come-on or sexual. I felt like I was noticed for the first time... like the real me, not superficial me. And the kiss was from his heart to my heart appreciating who I was. When he walked away I felt warm feelings.

Then I was in a room with some friends. They are married and were sitting and watching tv. I saw uncooked rice all over the ground. Then I thought I saw moving bugs in with the rice. I told them that we need to clean this up so the whole place isn't infested. Then the bugs were white rats.
concert - guy singing climbing on wall, dressed like woman... guys leaving, him kissing me etc

white limo, talent search

I was leaving from downtown to the west. I went with a friend of mine and he had a large white limo that we would be taking. The way from the city went through hills and country sides and then back to my home town. As we were going into my home town a street away from where I lived, the car peaked it's nose around the corner, almost as if I was acting through it. I didn't want anyone to see me in this white limo. I felt as if they would think I was bragging, being too good, and that I had to hide my success and well being. I did end up seeing two girls from my school. They were girls that were not really involved in anything like sports, acting, band, nor did they excel at scholastics or art and they did not stand out. They saw the limo and rolled their eyes, putting down the idea of the car, the idea of success, the idea of excelling.

 - - - -

I was in some sort of coastal town. I'm not sure if it was a camp, a school or?? but I found myself in a group that was to perform a play. I didn't feel comfortable in my role. I only had two lines.... same two words said twice, they would take maybe 5 seconds to say, but they didn't feel right. I couldn't see where the dialogue fit in with the rest, where the character fit in. It felt like a completely foreign item thrown in and it felt wrong, sounded wrong, and I didn't feel connected to the group, the play, the activity... I couldn't go through with it. It didn't help that each time I was supposed to say my lines, I forgot all two words.  The woman that was supposed to speak after me was Latin or Italian... VERY dramatic and I thought she could at least pull something off even if it didn't fit. Why doesn't she just take my part too?  I told them to at least let me see the old black and white movie that the play was from, so I could get an idea of how to do it. We moved into the next room and they wanted to take a group photo. It moved from a stressful mood, to a very friendly and loving mood. I was wearing light blue, actually took an ok shot, and that was that.

Then I was in a gymnasium of sorts. It was a large pleasant room, lots of sunlight, wood floors and so on. There was a woman in an office seeing people, one by one to review their talent. There were only a couple of people left, myself and two boys, that when you saw them closer, you knew they were men. I was wondering why I was there. What was I going to do for my talent? The two guys started playing their guitars while waiting. One had an acoustic and the other a black bass that he played on it's back and he would just tap his finger on a string and it would make an full beautiful sound. I accidentally dropped a nail file on the bleachers and one of them picked it up and gave it back to me and we started talking.  I asked them if they were playing George Jones?  They said yes... They were very nice and also very ??? one purposed. It seems they were there to play beautiful music and give off that feeling, no other intentions or goals. No tension in them. We all walked into the talent lady's office. She seemed orderly and stern, but still wanting to be pleasant. One of the guys walked to the window. Through it you could see a fence and large bunnies behind it. It seemed he reached through the glass and picked up the bunny. It seemed happy to be there on its back getting petted. The lady was impressed and ooh'd and aah'd about how good he was with animals.

spaceship, elizabeth taylor, house remodel

I dreamt that I had just crashed in a spaceship. It was a small one, about the size of two large helicopters. I was looking around where we crashed and as I looked, I saw several different versions of the crash, as if I was looking through different lives and different decisions. No matter what life I was in or decision I had made, the outcome was similar, my one friend would die (he was human in one life and died from the crash, red skinned with horns in another, dying from an attack from something on that planet with a large tusk protruding through his chest, and so on) and I would be there with the other people looking for what to do next. Elizabeth Taylor (not sure which life) was on my ship. She died in the crash as well. She had left no family, so her belongings were up for grabs. I was looking at her rings. She had a ring on each hand. Some were delicate and some were gaudy. I picked one and showed it to my mom and said I liked this one. It was small and had a pearl in the center with intricate metal work framing the edge. She didn't much care for it. Then I was looking through a box of Elizabeth's belongings. It had odds and ends and then there was a tiny, very old box. I opened it and it had a large diamond shaped like a heart. It was dangling from a purple ribbon. I recognized it as a precious jewel from the royal family that Elizabeth had acquired some how. I thought ... what a treasure and how lucky I am that it is mine. I immediately started searching my memory to make sure none of this should go to someone. I knew there was no more family, but what if she had left things to a friend? On the other hand, how would anyone know, and did we even know if we would ever return to our home planet? I decided to keep it but only to return it to the royal family. I felt guilty holding on to it in a finders keepers way. Then I left to check out the area. I knew it wasn't too safe to be out in the open and that I needed to get away from that area. I ran across a small one man helicopter. There was no shell really, nor motor. It ran by sitting on a plate and holding on to two bars that were connected to a propeller that was under you, not above. I also could see what I was wearing at this point, short short black shorts and black high heeled wedges. How Eon Flux of me.... Anyhoo... I kept trying to get up in the helicopter but realized it was chained to a dog house. Then someone came out of the dog house, either a woman or a long haired man.. I knew I needed to give up on the helicopter and move on....

---------

I dreamt my  mother was in the middle of a remodel. It seems she was focusing on the yard, the porch and a deck, but the house was demolished as well. The front yard was a mess, all torn up, although the stones from the front steps to the sidewalk were in place. She was hemming and hawing over it not being perfectly in line. I told her it didn't really matter because one side of the steps was at a right angle and the other side was swirly and ornate. She wasn't listening and kept talking to herself. I sat in the dirt and was under some sort of construction. There were little dogs playing in the yard. I wanted to pet them and there were small wrapped chocolates turned in to the dirt.
mom's house remodel, dogs, ....??

swamp monsters, robert de niro, Do-it-yourself Nip & Tuck

Drove to Seattle to get something. Not sure what. I was walking around some campus or gated neighborhood. There was a large pond in the middle that was full of vegetation like seaweed. It seemed dangerous like it could suck you up at any time. Then I saw a wolf. I wasn't sure if I was more scared of it or the pond. It seemed to be stuck out in the middle and although I didn't want to get bit, or swallowed by the pond, I couldn't just let it drown. I started walking through the long tendrils of green and slipping under the water. Although it was evening, underwater I could see figures swimming not to far away. They were not human, although I would see what looked like a human foot moving. Their heads were long, with their mouths protruding out past their nose and forehead.

They were scary and I was looking at how soon I would reach the wolf. I thought even if they got me and the wolf, I could live with that more than I could never having tried. I reached the wolf and took it back to shore. Then it had turned into more of a dog and had a collar. I looked to try and see where it belonged. I didn't want to chance it getting stuck in the pond again. I dark haired women saw me and let me in. I think it was her dog, but it was unclear. She just welcomed me in and fed me and gave me a room to stay in. It felt ok to be there, but I felt like I needed to go. I had a class back in Portland and it would be (in my dream) a 3-4 hour drive. I decided to sleep a bit then take a shower and get going. I arrived a bit late, but it would be fine. As I was walking through campus, I saw one of my instructors, Robert De Niro. He was a nice man and smart, but he wasn't one to let you get away with things... but also wasn't one for guilt. When I saw him I realized that I had forgotten my 4 other classes that I had signed up for that semester. I had attended the first class of each but then focused on the one so much that I lost track of the others. I explained it to him wanting him to understand that I wasn't being a flake. He seemed fine with it in a ... no babies died, sort of way.  Then I walked over to some friends. They were all having lunch on the grass under a tree. I sat with them and was making things out of the plants and grass. One girl and I were trying to tie something to a string with these long reeds of grass. She was half hazardly twisting things around.

- - - - - -

I had this do-it-yourself kit for eye lines. I think you were supposed to lightly slice with an exacto type blade, barely piercing the skin, and then with some ointment etc.., everything would heal tighter than before. I had not had a steady hand or didn't read the instructions because I had sliced all the way through. I could see the fat layers under my cheek. I for some reason took a pair of tweezers too it too thinking maybe I should take some fat out. I thought it would be difficult and I would only be able to get out small bits at a time but large pieces came out. I was nausious to think what I did to myself. I had a cut between my eye and my nose, horizontally across my forhead and under they eye. I needed to get to a professional. I showed a doctor what I had done and he was nonchalant about it. He said make an appointment. An appointment wouldn't be for two days. By then my face may stay like that or fall off! He said it would be ok.

Then I went to get my hair done. Somehow I had dark brown, almost black hair and it looked good. Mind you, it wasn't my face or my haircut. I couldn't decide if I should go ahead an go brunette or stay blond. No one seemed to be helpful in giving me feedback either. Going brunette felt like a change for change without a guarantee, but in a good way. Blond felt good, but like I was wimping out and not moving forward with my life.

moving, victorian, two faced

I was in a room that was very crowded. I was staying in someone's place, but her things were still there. Boxes of items in her closet, some clothes, and things around the room. I had decided not to go into work that day on a fluke and I was glad I had made that choice because a pile of women showed up in my room going through things. They were women who represented ...? popularity I suppose. People from high school and some previous jobs that had all been popular, the "in" crowd.  I saw that one of them had a tile about 6 inches by 6 inches that had neatly placed color swatches and a sketch of a room. I said "oh, I didn't know you were a designer?" awkwardly. She looked up and said yes in a "what's it to you?" sort of way. I was getting stressed. I didn't want to assume any authority in the place because I was staying at the kindness of a friend, but at the same time, I didn't want them messing with my things. I started just getting my items and moving over to my bed, or to a side of the closet and so on. I could see they seemed to know which items were hers and which were not.

Then I walked out of the house and decided to get some breakfast. The line was long and people didn't seem to mind as it was a good place. The building was an old victorian house that had been there for years. The outside was painted in red, black and white, and not well. You could tell it had been painted over several times as all of the edges were rounded and took on odd shapes. For some reason it still looked ok and even gave it more charm. A man looked at me. He looked middle eastern, but like a character in an old children's book. He had a very long face, tanned skin and the long skinny nose with the bump in the middle. He was making fun of how horrible the house looked and that they should tear it down. I was telling him that although it may not seem old in his country, it is a very old house in our area and a prize. I looked back at him and his face turned into a smiling black man with dreadlocks and he was holding his little girl. I was a little upset his face had changed because I wanted to study his face more. I decided to not have breakfast and walked down the stairs. 

secret agent

I dreamt I was in a large warehouse. It was at least two story and had those huge freight elevators in it. It almost felt like one of those old department stores with the lazy feel of canned music and not much going on. There were items stacked together in rows with enough room for a couple of people to walk through between them. It wasn't like they were in a pile of boxes. It was more like you were in someone's attic, looking at piles of possible treasures. There were a few "clerks" milling around, but not many, as the upstairs wasn't used as much. I was a secret agent and I had some items upstairs, but they were behind a special wall that no one new about besides myself and the agency that created it. I had a couple of people that were with me to help get my things, but they also were unaware of the wall. One of them was talking to me and I hushed him quiet. I told him that these clerks , at least some of them were undercover as well and watching our every move. 

PE teacher and tricycle

I was with some people from a school where I was a student. A man that was my PE teacher in grade school, who everyone had a crush on, was sitting and chatting with us. He seemed wise and like he was understanding of things, yet still had his own opinions. He was saying that I was one of those women who was high maintenance. He really didn't know me,but assumed by how I looked. I brought up several examples of why I wasn't. How I had lived a life not like that. Then in my mind I was thinking... why am I explaining myself to him, and what if I was ....? would that be such a bad thing?  I was walking away and he followed me and we continued talking. We had warm feeling toward each other. I then split off from him heading somewhere and I saw this little girl, about the age of 2 or 3. She was pedaling a little pink plastic tricycle. She had her little sister, who was about 6 months old in the back in a basket. I felt it looked safe enough. As she pedaled there was a little baby doll head affixed to the front of the tricycle. It was face down, sticking straight out the front and would turn from left to right as she pedaled. I thought, hmm they need to change that, it looks like the baby is saying no, no, no.... 

hot tub and giant

I dreamt I was at a friend's house. Not sure of the friend or the house. It was strange and messy. I felt a bit in the way and like I should be doing something. They had a hot tub in the nook off of the kitchen and a friend of mine was in there. There was a folding table in the room, bags of things, stuff on the floor, stacks of things on the counter... the place was very cluttered. It made me feel like I couldn't concentrate or rest. I was supposed to get into the hot tub, but I couldn't find my suit. I realized there were some bottoms I could wear. I found them and was starting to put them on. Then my friend got out and was going to go to bed for the evening. Just myself and one other person was downstairs. All of a sudden a giant man came in the back door. He was really tall and large. He looked like a cross between this blond guy I know and Macy Gray. He went from being a large black man, to a blond to a man with Macy's face and a bob like afro. I noticed his nose was very very small. I was thinking that he would make a pretty woman maybe... or that if he married someone with a large nose, it would be nice, because the children might take after him. He was looking for my friend and I could tell he wasn't going to be nice to her. I said I was unaware of where she was or how to get in touch with her. He sat on the floor, legs stretched out and he seemed to be tired. I was scared of him but at the same time he felt harmless. More bark than bite.

vodka, pregnant friend, and kittens

Dreamt I was preparing wine at work, but then I had this serving bowl  that I had accidentally put orange juice and vodka in. It was hard to carry and not spill it. I figured we would use a ladel and serve it that way. A coworker came in to see how I was and I explained the above and that we had options besides just  wine.

 - - - -

I had a dream a friend of mine was pregnant She wearing denim overalls and they had pleats at the chest and were very flattering somehow. Actually she looked that best I have ever seen. She was making food, and doing dishes. She was saying her husband was very busy and she was staying out of his way. He told her to while he was taking care of some case. 

-- - - - -- -  -

I had some catks, but then went to mall, there were dogs (white scotty, black shiba inu, white shiba inu) . They were very cute and I felt I needed to get them. So I bought them and rolled them up on a towel on my lap and drove and bought supplies. When I came home, they were kittens. I took them inside and they were inspected the house and some other cats I had. They were super cute but I was feeling of regret, buyer's remorse. What would I do with all of these cats. Now I was one of those cat ladies! I was thinking that I could sell them or give them to friends. I called my mom to tell her what I had done and  that they would probably have to go back to the store because my loan (as if they were cars) wouldn't go through anyway....so.

hocky sticks, burnt trunks and lunch order

My first dream was vague. I was with my mom and we were walking into some old building. I was going to show her where I went to school. It was after hours and we were not supposed to be in there, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to give her a quick peek. The building had beautiful wood work and an impressive curved staircase that seemed to go up forever. We went under the staircase to get to another room and I heard noises. We looked through a crevice in the wall and saw a team of men grabbing for hockey sticks. It seems they were going to practice in the building.

- - - - -

I was at a friend's house. They are a married couple and have a little Irish friend. He was sitting next to me on the couch and we were chatting, random light conversation. I looked down at our feet. I was embarrassed because my feet were larger than his. Then I looked at his feet and he lad really long toes. Like he could clasp his feet together like one does with their hands with every other finger from the opposite hand. I started feeling less self conscious about my feet. Then I was in the kitchen and there was some sort of mess. My friends were mad at me for not taking care of it and then the Irish guy was yelling at me. Apparently I had baked cookies and while the cookie sheet was still hot from the oven, had set it and the cookies in the trunk of my car, which caught some tissue paper on fire and then the whole trunk was ruined. He was saying.. you just can't do things like that. I was feeling horrible and wanted to curl up and disappear, but then he curled up behind me and said it was ok (as in, I'm still loved) but you just can't do those things. When he curled up behind me, he was like a Lego piece with the protruding bit snapping in through my back into my heart with a warm loving feeling. I immediately felt better.

 - - - -

I was supposed to order lunch for a meeting for a group of people. I thought the meeting was in two days, but it ended up being today. I was feeling the "oh crap!" and rushing to see what I could do. The conference or meeting was in a big grassy area. It was like everyone was laying out on blankets for picnicking or to watch a concert. I saw this woman that was kind of hippy, wild like with red hair. She was the one holding the meeting and that was going to give a speech. She had been in the bathrooms and was using my hairdryer. I told her that I would need it back. She was smiling and happy to go get it. I was feeling better about lunches, I just need to see what people wanted. My friends were laying on some blankets that were mine. After ordering the lunch, I would be leaving, so I asked for my blanket back. They were folding it up to give it to me. Then I went back to some building that seemed almost like a large school or?? It had rooms for classes but also rooms that people lived in. I went to one place to gather some more things. Friends were in that one too and I was gathering my blankets from them as well. There was a girl there from my junior high. She looked just like she did back then, but even back then she had an adult feel to her. She was also looking through a magazine. I said, I need to get that too. As she was flicking through the pages, I saw beautiful photos of things I wanted to make (it was a food magazine). I remember some pancakes dusted with powdered sugar and what looked like pumpkin seed brittle, but the brittle part was clear like hard candy and shiny.

 -  -- - -

Then I had a barely there dream... There were no visuals, but it said Good Morning Carrie, then a woman's name (knowing it was a writer) and something? Random Kinetic Form...

white convertible camero

I dreamt I was parking my car and running late. I stopped around the corner of the house and parked. My friend parked his white convertible camero in the driveway. He walked inside and we were talking about the house decor and what needed to be changed. He is an designer. He didn't look like he felt well and he was walking around, getting a glass of water to drink, looking through papers and then he went in the front yard and peed next to a tree. I said "what are you doing?!?  You can't just do that!" He looked at me like I was being silly. Like I was holding up some old rule that didn't exist anymore. He came inside and then went back out and did it again. I asked him if he thought maybe he should get a doctor checkup. I thought either his brain was malfunctioning or he had something wrong with his urinary tract. Then we went outside and he was extremely upset. He was talking to this guy saying that he ruined his car. Apparently he had ran into his white car. My friend was also complaining that he ruined his chances at some old rare car. It was his one and only chance to get it and the guy messed up the deal and then to make matters worse, he ran into the one car he did have.

with these women.... finding why we feel we know each other.... one woman gives me a warm feeling, the other a blue cool feeling. So the warm one is someone in my past. Then a girl I know, I feel like she was i my past too, but it is something different. either her type is in my past or? I can't figure it out...

parade and grapes

I was in a bedroom upstairs in a house. It was a large house, lots of light, lots of nice feeling, lots of fluffy blankets in my bed. I was trying to get some sleep in and a friend of mine asked if he could sleep in the same room on the floor. While I was sleeping he tried to get into bed with me. I immediately woke up and told him where to go...

Then I was in another room looking out on the porch and eating grapes. There were these really big ones that were sweet, but then these dainty ones, almost like champagne grapes but light green and they were nice and tasted flowery.   Then I was leaving the house. I was in a Portland, OR and in the SW part of the city up a hill. There were crowds all through the city lined up on the sidewalks leaving the roads bare for an expected parade. I don't know what the parade was supposed to be for, but myself and some others were floating down the street (not sure what on) on the route. Everyone was cheering, not for us, but for the upcoming event. It was more like we were invisible or known not to be important. Kind of like the police that check the route to make sure it is clear before a parade.

drift wood and party decor

I went to the coast. It was the Oregon coast, so it was gray and misty. A friend of mine had taken some drift wood, not the kind that has fallen from a tree and been tumbled smooth, but pieces of wood that have come from an old building or boat, turned gray and the grain has separated and the wood is rough with dark grooves of charcoal. She was laying it in a frame shape and placing white shells as decoration at the corners. It was going to be her latest style with new creativity. I was going to compliment her, but she seemed busy and the effort to talk loud over the wind didn't seem worth it.

 - - - -

I was in some .. hmm was almost like an outside warehouse. We had walked up there on a dirt   road that was a bit wet. The warehouse had a wall or fence around it made of plastic and odds n ends. When we came to the entrance there were all kinds of things in the alleys. There were boxes of cratepaper, pinatas, plants, and so on.

wedding restaurant

I dreamt that I was getting ready to see some friends who were getting married. They had just came into town. Some other town in the US, but not sure where. Somewhere picturesque, hilly, etc. They were still looking for venues for their wedding and restaurants. I was confused because they were supposed to get married in Berlin. They said noo.... they were going to get married in the US and then have the reception in Berlin. I just felt lucky that I happened to be able to go to both. The bride was a little stressed and not happy. One of the women in our German class was going to be in the wedding. She is Spanish with dark hair, but in the dream she was blond. She was also a little stressed. I was showing her parents a restaurant that was a possibility and getting them the menues to look over. It was on a hill and had a nice sunny view of the valley and the town.  The overall feeling was that people were stressed and I didn't want to be the cause of it, and I wasn't, but some how I still felt like I was.

dog hair

I dreamt I was with this guy. We were being intimate and was getting up to move and he got a phone call. He answered and I could hear a woman's voice and knew what she was talking about. I had shared a video with him that was from my place of work that was confidential. He had shared it with her and other people and they were planning on spreading it on the net. I could hear her laughing and him laughing and I was so angry. I took the dvd case and was telling him to get off the phone and to stop what was happening. I hit him on the shoulder with the dvd case which was as affective as hitting a table with a feather. I was so frustrated and felt so out of control of the situation. Then I was leaving and was calmer. I went to my car and his dog (a yellow lab, although he doesn't own one).. jumped in the car. The car had black interior and the dog was shedding horribly. I'm also allergic to dogs... He was trying to get the dog out, but then the dog was scared and peed all over inside the car. He tried to clean it but it was all in and through the carpeting.

Argh... happy birthday to me. :-s

roommate

I should have written this one down sooner. Funny... I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and repeated it several times in my head thinking it would stick. Then I woke up about every hour and did the same thing...

Now all I can remember of my dream is something about a middle aged gay roommate.  Hmph... need to keep a notebook by the bed.

baby clothes

I was going on some trip. I had just arrived in my car. It was kind of a beachy type place, but not hot and summery. Everyone was staying in some rental house. There were families there all unpacking and their kids were running around. I had arrived with just a wallet. I figured I could get what I needed in the town. There was one night where I had to where something niceish and I already knew a couple of stores to go to. A couple of the other women had to do this too so we all left together. I felt separate from these people. I knew we were all friends of some sort, but I was faking it. I went through the motions to appear like a "normal" person, but did not feel connected to these people. We were in the stores and a woman came out saying pretty much everything had sold out and the woman didn't have new inventory yet. I walked in anyway. She had just a few tops hanging and the rest was empty. I turned to leave because I knew of another store. Some of the group was there and shopping too. I used some of their lingo and their mannerisms and smiled and told them my plans to be friendly and then went off to the next place.

Then I was in my current boss's house. I was washing dishes. I was an employee for him in his home that week. He had a lady friend over and she had a baby. I was seeing that he or his lady friend had some clothes that she wanted to take back that were children's clothes. Some her child had grown out of, others were gifts. I was separating the clothes. There was one on a unique hanger. A little blue gingham button down shirt for a boy with shorts under. I took the shirt off and the shorts were held on by two "pins." They were either magnetic, but then as I pulled on them on the sides, it was as if the hanger had cork on either end and you could put a stick pin in to hold the sides of the pants up. I thought... if they throw this away, I will take it to my friend who has twins. Then there seemed to be a pile of clothes as if someone just brought in laundry and a pile of children to go with it. They were all in another room watching some cartoon as I finished dishes and laundry. A woman walked in, she was one of the mothers that was at the cabin. Now she was "above" me and knew I was a servant of sorts. I said how cute her daughter looked (just being nice) and that her outfit was cute. She nodded in a .."of course she looks cute, it cost a mint and she always looks cute and who are you to be commenting" sort of way (quite the complicated nod). I shrugged and sighed internally and went on with my business. She mentioned she heard that I had lost my wallet (at the beginning of the dream I brought my wallet, but it changed into that not only did I not pack, I lost my wallet as well). I said yeah... I think I put it down when I was looking at something, etc. She was making comments on how irresponsible that was. Then I saw she was sitting on the floor with a child's outfit hanging on the wall in front of her. She was doing needle work. It was a gift for someone and the stitches somehow had to do with what the father did for a living.

Then I was back near the stores. I was walking along and ran into a friend that I haven't seemed to have returned her calls. She was asking me how I was and what I was up to. I found a piece of chocolate in my purse that was crunchy (had some crunchy mint thing inside... then later turned into a pretzel with chocolate inside) and I was crunching on it I think just due to my nerves, not my hunger. I saw her looking at me and I gave it up to her. She took it and made some comment on that it was bitten on already. ...

travel size products

I was leaving school. I don't know if I was supposed to leave or not. Something felt like I was hiding my leaving. It felt like it was time to go, so maybe I was hiding my leaving so someone wouldn't catch me as I left for one more thing to do. I was following someone else up some stairs. They were through the woods, but the stairs were black carpeting. I saw something on the ground and picked it up. Someone had dropped a travel or sample size of some lip gloss... I left it there in case the person came back. Then I kept seeing more travel sized items. Some hair gel, face wash, and so on, but placed, not dropped. I was thinking. .hmm maybe the person stole the items and didn't want to keep them on their person, or maybe they just wanted to see what someone would do when they found them. When I came to the last ones I saw, I decided... why not and picked them up. Just as I did it a man was walking up and I felt caught. I felt like I shouldn't have been picking up these items that were not mine.

shallow sea and back-combing

I was on the ocean or sea. As in floating on top of it. If I had not been floating, it would be a few inches down to the bottom. It was very calm, a slight breeze, and easy to float on. I felt like I wish everyone could feel this ease and calmness. There was much more to it, but it faded...

---

Another dream where Reese Witherspoon was telling me how I should do my hair. She was speaking with a souther accent and telling me that for more volume, I need to back comb. Now she had just complimented me on my hair, and I never back comb, but she felt I should be doing it as if it is by some miracle that I have gone this far in life without doing it. As she started to do it I just could feel all of my hair snapping and breaking... it  was a point of no return. Even though part of me felt like Luke Skywalker dangling in space with one hand missing agonzing .... another part of me just shrugged and thought, this too will pass and it is making her feel good.

movie...

Short dream that a friend of mine was in a movie and we were watching it as if it wasn't him.

casket, naked race and kayaks

busy night.... I didn't even eat ice cream before bed

...
I think it all started with a wedding. I saw my friend who is going to get married in Berlin. The feeling was a bit tense. Things didn't seem to be going right and she was annoyed. Then I was at the reception. It was part inside, part out. Lots of people chatting, dressed nice, milling about. My mother was there somewhere. I overheard her say something about a casket outside. I thought...I knew that was my name! I ran back out there to double check and it was a little marble box with my name chiseled on top. I opened the box and there was a body inside... mine as a baby. There was a card and a spiral notebook on top. It was my mother's hand writing. It read that she had killed me and felt regretful. I had been from another man she had met and she couldn't let anyone know..., it would have been a disaster, so she killed me before I matured so it wouldn't be obvious where I came from. (sheesh)....
....
Then from around the same area, I was in a race. I think the same people were attending. It was a naked race though. I was cheating a bit in that I had cotton undies on (like the kind you wore as a little girl) and I was holding my chest. My excuse was that my hands were busy supporting my upper half so I wasn't able to take the undies off. I was not going to run naked. As we were getting closer to the finish line, there were supporters cheering us on. I ran into an ex-coworker and said hello to her, and then kept going. I was near the lead, and was kind of proud that I was more in shape than I expected. The race ended inside the building where the reception was being held and there was a cash prize of some sort.
...
So.... a man was on the side of the road. I'm not sure if I could see this or just knew it. Like he had crashed, but was under water? Something like that. Some men in kayaks went out to save him and I was with them. They rolled the man over into a kayak that had a lid that would cover it. It was more of a "trailer" for kayaks. They told me to get in with him and I said, no, I was claustrophobic (seems I've always been pronouncing that word wrong). They said..."you are not claustrophobic" but then I kept pushing the point. I didn't want to be in there with that man... nor in something I couldn't wield in a river. Then I actually started feeling claustrophobic thinking about it and I said "See!?!" So, I jumped out and got in my own kayak and went out ahead of them to get away. They were not happy and trying to come after me. I was going at a much quicker pace to where I couldn't see them behind me anymore. Then I was kayaking on the road. More like sledding down the hill. I would have to put my hands out and grasp the asphalt in order to make turns. I was thinking ... at some point this will not be downhill and then what will I do? Then I was hoping that I wasn't in the way of traffic. I didn't want to cause an accident and just as I thought it, a huge pile up happened in an intersection. But I somehow had an aerial view (pretty gruesome) and I could see I wasn't at fault.

dream interpreting life

Ok, so I dreamt my mother was showing a guy friend of mine her old wedding ring and offering it to him as a hint to ask me to marry him. I was furious and embarrassed because we are no way in that kind of a relationship. She left and then I heard a noise. One that you don't want to make in public... I tried to cover it up by making noise with some paper and it happened again. He looked at me and said.. did you just....? and I said.. umm.... and then it happened again. I was mortified. I was saying... I don't know how it could be me... because I don't feel it in my body... (as I was saying this it happened several more times).  He was kind of disgusted and left to go to the next room... then I barely woke from the dream and I heard the noise again! When I finally woke up I realized the whole time he had been snoring really loud and it must have inspired the above dream... :-s

Laughing, eyeshadow and planning

I woke up laughing in the middle of the night although I don't remember the dream.

- - - - -

I dreamt that Natalie Portman was telling me how I was supposed to wear eye shadow. Not just as a helpful tip, but that it was almost a law, a social norm that I wasn't practicing but should.

 - - - -

I dreamt I was planning work travel and had forgotten several things.