framing info....

I dreamt that a friend of mine was giving me information on matte/frame/photo dimensions for a project that I'm actually working on at work. In my dream he told me and then I forgot everything and he left. Today he sent it all in detail in email. Phwew!

chicken livers and swimming pools...

First I had a dream I was in ?? like maybe... major like with a guy... we were kissing and it felt good to feel that way. We were visiting some friends (a couple I know). They had a swimming pool in the backyard and family and friends were enjoying it. Their toddlers were in the pool too but in a special device that was a big black square that fit across part of the pool so that the toddlers could stand on it and still have their heads above water. Kind of nifty. Then I walked through the room of the house and the house turned in to a community college I went to a long time ago. Not an ideal feeling. I was walking through the commons and ran into my exboyfriend's mother (she wasn't a big fan of mine). I sort of wanted to avoid her, but she was actually being pleasant and was asking me for help regarding some information. I went to a computer to log in and a school worker said that they were only for students and so on. I tried to get him to bend, but he wouldn't.

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Then I dreamed about the same fella. He and I were in a country grocery store. I was about to babysit the toddlers that night, so was looking for something to buy for dinner. First we were in the meat section. They had cubes of meat with toothpicks in them for samples.. but they were not cooked. I was question if they did that on purpose? is there a place to cook it? or is it a delicacy? He was looking for chicken livers. He said that he had never tried them so would cook them that night. I decided to get a tv dinner so it would be easier with the kids.

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When I woke up I kept getting strange flashbacks. Like I had had a dream and was trying to remember it. But I know what that is like.. and I didn't remember these dreams. It was strange. It was more like I had watched a movie... and something in real life was reminding me of that movie.. only that movie wasn't a movie and had the guy from the other two dreams in it (someone I know).... hmmm

being chased, cucumber and trains under water

I was in the middle of being chased by two blond men who looked a lot alike and were very fit. I understood in the dream that there were people out there posed as normal humans, but they were not. It wasn't that they were another type of species, but their intent on life was different and they had always kept it secret from us. They were involved in our world but studying us and playing like they were the same. It only came about that some of us knew of these types, and when you knew... they knew... and they would come after you. They were much more adept and running than I was and I didn't feel I could get away. Then I saw some bushes and knew they were not capable of creative thinking. So  pulled myself through the bushes and somehow this would confuse their plan of just running after me.. Then I woke up...

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Then I dreamt I was asking god for help.. he/she/it showed me a picture of a cucumber... then a wagon wheel.

Hmm I was he/she/it suggesting I was a bloated, water logged vegetable with thick skin? and I need to move more towards a wheel... or movement? Hmm....

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Then I was on a train. It had been going through an underground tunnel, but then the land had cracked and ocean water was seeping in to the tunnel. We all assumed that would be it for us, but kept talking and comforting each other. After a while the train moved and we saw sunlight. I was so happy and looking around at the people thinking they would be too, but they just went from being so fearful they just wanted to live... to taking things for granted again...

belly dancing and ham

Hmmm I had a dream about ham, and different cuts and noticing some were perfect and some had too much fat.

Then a dream about a girl belly dancing. She was in turquoise. She was a friend, but at a party decided to break out and do some dancing. Hmm...

Time stopped

I just had a dream that time stopped. I had moved into a new city and had been there for a few months. I would walk a certain pathway to work every day. It was a busy area that wasn't a perfectly pretty one. There was small grocery and there was an olderish (50s) man, with black hair and a mustache who owned it. I had asked for a job when I had first moved to the city. I would usually say hello or give him a head nod every time I had walked by. His market was at the bottom of a building and was opened up to the outside. Right outside his store was a covered area, almost like under a city train, where there were vendors of cheap and novelty items. If you kept walking past that,  you started getting towards the touristy part of the city. It was almost like a vegas in that it was very flashy and lots of light, big streets and wide sidewalks. I had woken up that morning knowing that time had stopped. I woke up and got dressed like any day. I looked outside and everything seemed a bit still. Power/electricity must have been on an automatic system as well as cell phone, because it was all still working. I went outside and walked near the grocer. I went in to look for him. He looked a bit confident with underlying distress. I asked if I could work for him. I wouldn't need any money, I just needed some structure in some possible soon to be chaos. He apologized and said he was leaving the store. He had a place in the country. I asked if he was going to live off the land and he admitted it in an almost secret, sorry he was telling me way. I was sad he was leaving as he seemed to be my only solid thing in that city. I was looking at his store and it still looked in tact. I wanted to get some groceries, but I thought I would wait until he left town, it felt too weird. There wasn't much looting going on. I think people didn't know what to do with themselves. Some people took some large cost items, but for the most part people were walking through the city almost as if it was a nice sunny Sunday before the days of busyness and stress. But there was still a feeling of stress. I felt like something was just on the verge of happening that wasn't good, but wasn't sure what. I decided to walk back to my apartment and figure out what to do next. I had left my window open and some very large black crows had come in. It was as if they knew it was over for us humans. One was on my bed the others were all on the sill like they owned it. I went and yanked on my blanket to scare the one but he just hopped back on the bed. Then I finally scared most of them out and close the window on one. His feather stuck and he was cawing at me, so I lightly opened again to get him out. I figured I should call my brother. He had been off to the mountains camping with his wife and my dad and stepmom had gone to the coast. I wasn't sure if they knew about this. It was something that just happened, not something that was predicted. I called my brother and it rang threw. He was just coming back into town and new a bit of what was going on. We walked down the same street that the grocer was on and looked around again. Still same sleepy state people were in, with a few people randomly stealing high end items, but with no rush. No breaking of windows or burning buildings... just browsing, taking almost because they felt they should do something with this moment. My brother seemed a bit dead too. Didn't seem to care what was going on and wasn't reacting. I thought again about the grocery store and if I should buy something before it rots, and then what about when it does rot? and then?

airport flowers

I was heading somewhere. I think I had to go on two different planes. It was in the future and the airports were different. As soon as you headed off the plane your bags were sent through a screen before you could leave, but that was it. No other baggage claim area. There were three lines but most people didn't see the last one so I left the one line and popped over to the third. As I came up to the end, I realized I left my purse at the last one. So I ran back up the escalator and the woman was running my way too with my purse. Then I came back down in my lane. This guy behind me (an actor that was the old robocop, and just recently in Dexter), was making snide remarks about me being in front of him and making him wait etc... Not directly though. Then I was picked up. A group of us were going with a friend. It was this tiny blond. She was cute, active, lots of energy and I think a little famous. She brought me flowers at the airport. She said they were rare cuts etc. They looked like the purple flowers from a butterfly bush and orange lilies and a few others. In the car ride, they started turning brown. I had been handling them with care, it was just the heat or something. It felt like we were in Las Vegas, but for some reason it wasn't as dry. It felt more tropical. She drove to a place where she was going to look at an apartment and we waited outside. My mom was there too, but not sure she was my mom. She got out and started driving around in some electric cart. I was trying to stop her because we had to go.. then it was just weird.... messy...stress

Lost in another town

I was in some other town or country. I had been there before on a vacation with a friend, but this time I felt out of place and lost. I was trying to go back through the towns we had, in hopes of finding something familiar. I was riding a bike of sorts and wasn't quite in control of it. I had ridden under an old building that had been abandoned and was turning around. Another car was doing the same thing. It was a family on vacation and they looked as if they were from the 50s. They were asking me directions and I was trying to be helpful, although I ended up getting more information from them than they from me. I ended up finding a little town and walked along the front of the buildings. It was a tourist town and there were lots of little coffee shops, stores with treats and little odd n'ends to buy.

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Another dream I was working. Love those dreams. I was in a large building and dressed all businessy. I don't remember the specifics. I remember doing my job, running to different departments, being happy about my job although at times out of place.

victorian marriage, fights, werewolves...

Ok, first I was arguing with my mother. Not sure what about now, but I was fighting off me physically pushing her around.

Another night I had werewolves after me, but they looked like humansish... like in The Talented Mr. Fox.

Then it was the Victorian era and I was supposed to marry James McAvoy (although he was just some guy that was a son of someone my parents knew). We were in a bedroom together talking and kn;ew that something was off. Somehow it came out but it didn't that he wasn't into women, so we wanted to see how to end it. He felt trapped and like there was nothing he could do. He didn't want to displease his family. Then we heard someone walking down the hall. We were not supposed to be in a bedroom alone together, especially with the doors closed. I told him to quickly jump under the covers and play like he was sick and I would read a book to him. She came in and the situation was accepted. I then told her I couldn't marry him and would be leaving for my parents' home soon. The mother was actually happy, because she didn't care too much for me in the first place.

Then I had another physical fighting dream. Me trying to get away from something.

Then I had a dream that I was going to a carnival or circus with a friend of mine and his niece. He saw some girl that was flirting with him, so went on his way. The Niece and I decided to walk around the carnival. We got some food, looked at things etc. Then we were walking to leave because we couldn't find him and he saw us and was panicked because he thought we were leaving him.

Then I was still at a carnival but a different dream. I was supposed to ride a ferris wheel, but do acrobatics on it. It was part of some workshop or test that I had to go through. It moved fast, and as I came to the top, I had to twirl around a bar, but then I flew off of it and down into.. well almost one of those ponds you see in a golf course, but it was dark and kind of swampy. I was being coached by someone on the ferris wheel and then he came down to find me. He was helping me and not upset about my results. The important part was that I tried and kept moving forward. My job was not to judge or assess my choices or actions, past/present or future. He then took me to a room. I think we were going to be close. I don't mean sexual, I think just "be" together. It was a nice feeling.

Then I was at some northern coastal town. The cold, gray sandy kind where it is rainy and stormy. I was walking down the boardwalk, through old coffee shops, dark wooden restaurants etc., then through this retreat center. I had accidentally walked into some yoga? meditation class. They looked at me like I was supposed to be part of it. I said no, I am just walking through. They said..., but you should join, this is good. I said... sorry, can't afford it and kept walking through. Then I was in the locker room with lots of ladies. It was part spa and part bathroom. There were stalls, some big with whirlpools, foot massagers etc. and some that were just a toilet. I kind of wanted to use the large one just to see what was in there, but there was too much hustle and bustle and I had to leave. Then I was outside and needing to make a cake with a friend for a work thing. The cake didn't turn out quite right so we thought of mixing it with something to make it dense, shaping it and then frosting it.... We were working on it in a grocery store parking lot. She was kind of taking over the cake shaping and all of it really. I was just trying to give ideas at that point.

walking in the snow...

I had a dream I got a job. I was walking down a highway in the snow. The cars were all stopped either due to snow or traffic and I knew they were looking at me like I was crazy. It was a long road and no exits, so they knew I had been walking a long time. I think they felt that this walk was difficult and miserable and how horrible that this poor girl is walking so far in the cold. What they didn't realize is that I love snow, and I enjoyed the walk and the sound and the feel of the air and I felt luck to be outside walking in the snow.

dreams of plays and tension

I had a dream with my family. I don't remember the story of the dream but the feelings were that of rejection, not being ok as is, not being good enough and so on.

Then being part of a performance but not in it. I was around the edges being asked to do things last minute that I didn't know how to do. It made me uncomfortable, but even more uncomfortable when I was praised for things that I didn't intend to do.

got a job

I was hired at some big company. The big boss which at one point was a woman I worked with in a previous job and sometimes this sporty guy. She/he was showing me around the place and then was showing me some sports clothes and asked what I thought. I said nice and tres 90s. And she said good eye, and that was the new thing that was coming out this season. She picked out a handful of pieces and handed them to me and yelled to a person at a desk to put them on the account. They were welcome tokens for me to the company. Then we continued to walk around and they were showing me some of my duties and that even though some of them seemed scary or dangerous, I would get used to them. One was getting on my line and sliding across and down some equipment to check it and see if it is ok. The guy was showing me how to do this. I was partly excited to be working, to be working for such an exciting company and to be treated so well by the people, like was now the company. We took care of each other.

rewards

I had a dream I was at a crowded restaurant. I couldn't really turn around well, but could see people. I saw a friend from college and another fellow student and waved. They were both in their 60s.

Then my mind was spinning with ideas and I was stressing then the idea "Reward is my motivation" came into my head. And reward in my dream meant hmm... enlightenment/love. And it made all bad feelings go away and it was like it revved my internal "engine." Then all of these ideas popped in my head, designs of clothes, travel, pictures, all felt good, all happy all felt enlightened. Then I could grasp the idea of not having a body but just having that enlightenment feeling. In reality the idea of giving up humanness kind of disturbs me, but in this dream it felt ok and I was ready for it.

race track

I dreamed I was at some film location. They were in the midst of filming a scene. I didn't quite feel like I belonged there or that maybe I was supposed to be doing a job I didn't like so was skirting my duties. There was an open empty building, sheets or fabric hanging from the ceiling. Not sure if this was to make small rooms to work in or if it was part of the scene. I walked by the snack bar, the makeup station,etc. etc. I started talking to one of the stars. He was kind of a big guy, chubby and tall, with a nice face. He was chatting to me for a bit. I had a feeling of neat and then... he doesn't know who I am not... as in not really with the film. I thought if he knew, he wouldn't be chatting to me. Then I remember a bus or...??? Then I was at a track (as in track and field). I was dressed up in a cheerleader uniform, but not a cute one. It was wide and made out of unattractive fabric. I saw a reflection of us. There were three of us walking around the track doing our cheer. I looked horrible. They were cute and thin and I just looked big. I wanted to hide but then I thought... everyone has been seeing you like this. Just because it was a shock to you doesn't mean it is to everyone else. So I kept to my duty and cheered.

weight loss program, blue robots, and a tree house

I was in a room with a bunch of girls from highschool. The naturally thin, perfectly cute ones etc......
At first I thought I was just hanging out with them then I realized that I was being paid for a study to see if a product would work on me so I wouldn't be so fat and could look more like them (I'm not fat, but I think I always thought they were perfect at the time and because I wasn't thin... etc. etc.). They were the "control" in the study who would eat the same way I ate. I had to live with them etc. :P  They were all in bikinis looking perfect and I hadn't seen a real perfect body up that close before etc. I was just thinking...wow.. how nice to not have extra slabs of skin etc. A friend of mine was there, he was kind of like their Charlie (Charlie's Angels), and he was kind of shaking his head at me. He was saying ... yeah... she might be able to lose the weight, but she still won't be like you guys.... she'll still look big and he was taking his hands and blocking out my shoulders from his vision to see what I might look like if i wasn't so big. J Lo was the manager of the project.


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had another dream ... there were these small blue computer type chips. I was kidnapped by this motorcycle type guy (but sporty, blue and white bike and he was clean and not kidnapper type). He was working with this women. They were agents of sorts and they wanted something from me. I was surprised though because they put me in a room where I could easily get out. They also walked in and out of the room and talked to me as if a peer. There was a bowl on the table that had tiny blue stones, some with wires. I realized they were little robot things that could get under your skin. Eek.... Then I saw a woman.. she was Mrs. Coulter from Golden Compass. She was riding away on a motorcycle with a swami. I was thinking to yell for her but didn't understand why she was with the swami (in my dream the bad guy). She was a good guy initially in my dream. Then the kidnappers where saying... Yeah... I knew it... there she goes. So in actuality, they were saving me from her.... not kidnapping me. 


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another dream.. some sort of giant tree house, family there, some formal function, but it was sort of ornate and ?? fantasy version. Preparing in a room or something....?? isn't clear. 

two songs

Woke up with just one line from some old country or 50s/60s song

"are are we two...."  Can't think of the singer

Then

Try a Little Tenderness (The Commitments version)

stealing money and beer

I dreamed I was in someone's home. Someone from my childhood. My brother was in there too and I think he was doing something bad. I was scared of him and didn't want to be a part of it. I also felt like if i tried to go, he would be mad. While he was busy doing what he was doing, I went in another room and found some money. There was a hologram video of sting much older. He wasn't peaceful Sting though, he was still with The Police, and they were an angry band. Wore leather, punked up hair and so on. I went ahead and picked up the coins I found in drawers trying to get only silver and large ones since I didn't have enough pockets for all of it. My brother saw me in the hall and I acted nonchalant. I asked if he wanted to take a break and get a beer. The fridge was at the edge of the kitchen, but the back opened up to a large industrial fridge/cooler. We couldn't find the right beers, so went in the back for one. There were also coke colas, but the label was green and yellow. It was supposed to be some "greener" version of coke. We went outside....

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I was somewhere else, looking for a room or apartment or... I felt like a student starting new again.

Cameras and tattoos

Had a dream last night that I got a job. I arrived and it was a little high end camera shop. The owner was nice and showed me what I would be doing.... I would be selling this one particular camera. He gave me the manual and said study this and become an expert on it. I asked if it was a popular camera. He said no, this is the only one I have that I need to sell. I said... but you are hiring me as a full time person just to sell this camera?? He said yes. I said don't you think that is a waste of money? He mentioned that is what the last guy thought and quit. I went for a walk to think about it and ran into a friend. We stopped in an art gallery, had a glass of wine then walked into a tattoo booth. When they were done I had a 2 to 4 stranded "necklace" tattoo around my neck. The hooks in the back were large and red and didn't meet. When I looked down I had an ornate, very yellow and very large tattoo of an elephant god - Ganesh - covering my whole front torso. I was a bit panicked because I realized I didn't want a tattoo... what about my v-neck sweaters? Everyone agreed that the necklace tattoo should go, but Ganesh should stay.  


I left to find my way back home... I was barefoot but thought I had enough tickets to take the bus. Then a man came across the loud speaker saying the bus was now coming to the tracks and it would now go downtown (kind of cool actually, he was the bus driver, but when it came tot he tracks, he could jump off and it worked on auto pilot).


I arrived "home" and there were all of these people staying there. Not sure if it was an event, conference, etc.etc... it wasn't my house so I didn't care. I went upstairs to sleep where I had been sleeping, on a couch, but someone was under some covers there.. I went to find an empty spot on the floor, and a guy (someone I knew in the dream) popped out. Something in me was happy to see him because he was familiar, but also not happy... I didn't like him.


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I had another dream where I was in this house that I grew up in (although altered). There were lots of babies/toddlers there. I think first they were kittens and then they were kids. They were milling about and not allowed to go outside. I think the "house" was also selling candy... money was tucked here and there from the sales. A woman came over and I could feel she was wrong. I started grabbing the money to hide somewhere. I knew she either wanted to take the money, the kids or something...

conductor, church, wiener dogs

This all mixes together time-wise...

Partly a conductor died. He was a black man and had conducted orchestras in the 40s and 50s until a few years back. (not a real person)  He had passed away and it was a great loss to the city. Many people loved this man, not only for his talents but I guess he was a wonderful person. Many people had donated money for his memorial. A life sized statue was created to go in some great hall (in a greater city) to memorialize him. The statue was painted and kind of shiny... something like how you see some Mary/Jesus statues where it is colorful, a bit realistic (like a mannequin) and shiny. They had his statue created to look like him in the 40s or 50s. He was looking up with a large grin. The memorial was in the evening and I was attending school. Highschool? College? extended studies?  I walked over to one of my classrooms which was empty. I think it was a science class. I saw some of my notebooks on the floor and my stomach sank. One of them had writings of my dreams (like this blog) and my dreams of what I wanted in life... and other things. I could see the top cover had been curled back, so I know someone read them. I could just imagine what they might think. I opened it up to see if they left any commentary.Someone, I am assuming a guy, had drawn doodles where I had... I think he was meaning to relate to me... or almost communicated.... like "yeah, me too..."

I picked up my things and moved over to a wall and sat down on the floor. I saw there was a magazine... it was from the NYT and it was cover to cover photos and writings on the conductor that just died. I was sitting next to the ? old bench (really a radiator) for the room where old magazine were put and tossed it up there for their collection. I thought that might be a nice surprise for someone. Then I looked out and it was raining. I was in a covered spot, but there were stacks of chairs and tables right in front of me that were getting rained on. Two little things moved under the chairs. I could see they were trying not to get wet. I called them out and two little wiener dogs came peeking out. Old ones.... a little chubby and gray around the eyes. They came hobbling out and I pet and scratched them. They had old collars around them made of metal and vintage glass beads. I loved the sound because it tinkled like rain on glass. I knew the owner of the dog was a rich older black lady. I knew she would be by for the dogs sooner or later.

Then I was with an exboyfriend. We were going to the beach and we were enjoying each other's company.... or I thought we were. I realized we were just both finally relaxing around each other. Walking along the water, getting in the water, paying attention to each other and so on. He went to go get or do something and then a feeling hit my stomach like a pebble in water and rippled out to the rest of me. I realized I was about to do it again. I was about to stay with something because it was nice-ish and there, and what seemed to take little effort. In actuality it took much effort, but just on the inside. Instead of going for what I wanted and having the "effort" be on the outside.... yet really wouldn't be effort because it would excite me to do.
. . .
A friend of mine (ex boss, friend, schoolmate) was living in the West Hills... He was talking about that he went to this little church downtown. I thought that odd, interesting and nice at the same time. The West Hills meant he had succeeded (financially at least).. and the church and family felt like he had found a happy place. I was happy for him.

lots of dreams ... same theme

ok.. will not write them all, but just lots of dreams about leaving security ... with symbols of mother, mother type friend, home town, house I grew up in ... and so on.... taking off into uncertainty.

guy with short legs, another dimension

I had a dream I just met a guy for the first time that I had only ever contact via the internet. He was tall, really nice etc. We were getting deep into conversation when he jumped out of his pants and went trotting down the hall. My mouth about fell to the floor because I didn't realize he had fake legs. His legs were only about the length of what his thigh should have been. I didn't know what to do. I thought... ok.. he still is who he is... just because he has short legs and flippers and runs on all fours doesn't mean I shouldn't still like him.

- - - - -
I was living with other people in a nice home. We were all adults, but had just chosen to live together. One of them came to me asking if I had seen what is to come. I hadn't. He showed me a video of people coming in through a pantry wall. They were coming from another dimension and had finally learned how to escape the old world. I said thanks and filed it in my head. I was busy working on looking for a name for a little girl. I am assuming for a daughter I was to have soon, although I wasn't pregnant. I was looking up the names and the meanings and so on. Then I went back to my room down the hall and saw that one man from the old world had made it in. He was frantic and I told him to be calm, I would explain what just happened and show him around and that we would help him. One of the household saw the new guy and I could tell it didn't make him happy. I said... we were all new once too and we were helped. He will be fine. And he calmed down.

surfing on news paper

I had a dream two nights ago about being in a cafe when it was closing. I seemed to have known the cafe owners and some other people... mostly gay men and a couple of women from my past. One was someone I worked with and never really clicked with. Another was a best friend that we parted (11 years ago) and just recently began being on speaking terms again. We were all spending the night in a big pile on on of the upholstered red bench seats. The ex coworker had ordered a bed time snack. it was a triangular piece of toast (crusts cut off) with some sort of meat and a slice of a soft boiled egg. Nice presentation and looked good. Then I was in a library, it was closing and I found an article I really wanted to read. I thought... I could spend the night no problem and just finish this article. I knew if I left... I wouldn't come back to read it.

...

I was going to work on a bus, but it was a school bus. I had friends with me that were going to work or school as well. People were talking about their progress and so on. I was keeping an eye out of when I should jump out. I finally did and I was excited because I could ?? cement surf on a section of a news paper. I laid it out and realized the one I had was ripped, so I got the comics section and got on and surfed down. I saw a man watering his lawn and was surfing between bicyclists. It was pretty fun. ;)

lots of dreams..... haven't been writing

Ok.. I've had a ton of dreams... and I just haven't been writing them. Lots of anxiety stuff....

I'll get back to it.

I know last nights was something about being in a war.. We were one group of people against another. Pretty confident in our abilities and just needing to get the job done. Was odd...

Also had a couple of songs in my head yesterday first thing. hmmmm:

Chiquitita - ABBA

Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong
You’re enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I’m a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you’ve broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love’s a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita 

Then this was the song while at the sink:

"What You Need" - INXS

Hey, here is the story
Forget about the trouble in life
Don't you know, it's not easy
When you gotta walk upon that line

That's why - You need
That's why - This is what you need
I'll give you what you need

Don't you get sad and lonely
You need a change from
What you do all day
Ain't no sense in all your crying
Just pick it up and throw it into shape

Hey you, won't you listen
This is not the end of it all
Don't you see there is a rhythm
I'll take you where you
Really need to be 

salad and house fix up

I dreamt I was making a salad. It was a basic romaine and then the dressing was a sharp almost horseradish-y mustard mixed with olive oil, parsley, honey, and salt/pepper?? not sure what else. But for some reason it was really good. My exboyfriend's mom and step dad were eating the salad and kept wanting more. She was sick and couldn't believe she was getting her appetite back and wanted the recipe. The book was propped open in the fridge, so the stepdad's best friend Phil held it open while I read her the ingredients. Then she gave me a hug and said good bye... like a good bye for good.

...

Then I was at a friend's house. They were redoing everything. Like they had a wall that they decided to make a double door entry with an amazing clear stained-glass (sounds not right) window that was in the door as well as the wall. I was so happy they made it the entry because it looked so open and fit the size of the house better.

flight and this guy or that

I was on a flight with a group of women. It was pretty nice. I saw on my ticket that I had first class on the way, which included a full mattress to stretch out on and a shower on the flight. We were part of some group or team, not sure for what. It was morning and I was trying to get myself together and find the shower. There was some hustle bustle going on ...

in this dream or another... I was living two lives at once... as in watching my life in one direction... and watching it if it had gone another. One was on the casual side of things... the other was the high life... but in both lives I met the same guy... it felt like it doesn't matter how you chose to live, certain things will still happen in your life..... it was relieving a bit, like there are no mistakes... but also then I felt... so why not choose the high life.

suitcase

I had a dream this guy from highschool that I have honestly not thought, seen or heard of since high school, was working at this place and I saw him there. Then this girl gives me this gorgeous antique suitcase as a gift (from him) and flowers from him. I open the suitcase and on one side were many new beautiful shoes and the othe rside were some nice new clothes and fancy lingerie etc. I was excited about the gift and wanted to be completely, but then felt guilt... the girl was like.. ummm you are not going to keep it are you... (like.. why would you keep a gift from this guy you barely know, and he likes you, so you keeping it is saying you like him back... and are you ready for that?).. But it was so nice and fairy tale like.Then he came down the hallway. I ran to hide behind a door but he needed something behind that door and as he moved it I said boo and laughed like it was my plan... Then it gets blurry.  I did have a job in the dream. :) That was nice.

house crumbling

I dreamt of the house I grew up in. I was house sitting. A main living room picture window was busted. I was there while it was getting fixed. Then I was outside talking to someone about it getting fixed. Some people were sitting in the dining room and the wall started to crumble and the floor was rotted and fell apart. Then some guy started shooting in the house.  I think I kind of gave up


Then I was in a prison of sorts. It was a small square room. Prisoners were being brought in and each had a stall no larger than the person. The room was dark. I realized I wasn't a prisoner as much as I was someone there to make sure the prisoners didn't live long. They couldn't see me because their eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet. Myself and another girl would partner up and kill the new prisoners. It didn't feel bad though. It felt like we were keeping things clean and taken care of.

misc...

dream I had many shoes ... was looking for one particular pair to go to an appointment. People were waiting on me yet I was not going to give up on finding this one pair. I finally put on the one pair that I didn't want to wear.. and took an armful of shoes with me just in case I could find them on the way. They felt like the drug me down... all of these choices but I still wasn't willing to give them up... just in case.

- - - - - -

I had a dream there was a baby... pale... sickly looking kind of .. the kind you can see through their skin. Her limbs were like strings. I was kind of worried and said... we need to build some muscles in these. She spoke to me saying... I wasn't very interesting. I said.. You can talk? She said we are all born with the ability to communicate.

- - - - - -

porsche, road trip...

Ok.. I had a dream I was driving a car then realized it was my car.. then realized it was a very nice car and then was kind of coming to reality that my life has changed.

 - - - - -

I was driving back from ?? somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean I guess, because next stop was NY driving west from the road. I had driven this trip several times (in the dream)... and was remembering I part enjoyed it... and was partly dreading how long it was. Then I tried to stop that thought and thought... just focus on each moment and enjoy it. Then I went off the path a bit adn there were all these tree branches etc. I thought.. the car can't make it down here, I must not go this way normally. I explored a little. There were these strange orchids that had pod feet that you could stick to any surface and they would grow. They were quite pretty. Then some strange alligators and man eating fish that were about the size of an oblong Frisbee. I turned to leave. Then I was in a house and clearing out the rest of my stuff. Odds n Ends like at the end of a move, but it was where someone else lived as well. I found some things I thought I had lost. I could tell the person was anxious for me to get my stuff finally and get moving. I told him about the fish and he shrugged and said.. those things are everywhere.

space ship, acorn hunting, train and song...

I was in the area where all of the spaceships were.. (little fighter ones)... I realized the bad guys had secretly infiltrated out troops as our troops.. I knew I had to run into one of the ships and start blowing up all of our ships. Normally I think I would have checked in with people... , gotten their backup, feedback, support, confirmation etc... but I knew I had to just do it and deal with the ramifications. So I got in the ship and started spinning it in circles and shooting everything.

- - - -

I was shopping with my friend Matt for my friend Penny's birthday. I saw an acorn that was sparkly and white and wanted to get her that one.. then I saw a bronze one .. then some christmas decor. My friend Matt saw what I picked out and he wanted to give her the white one.. he was upset that I had picked it out.. I shrugged and said well there is also the bronze one and the xmas decor?? But you can have the white one if you like..

 - - -

I was on the train with a lot of people on some journey... It was kind of an open train. Not much seating, big windows and open air in some places. Also a bar along the windows so you can stand there. We went by a train going in the opposite direction. There was a circus/carnival type group on it and the cars had no walls... they saw us coming so as we rode by each other, they performed for us. We all yelled out thank you soooo much...

  - - - -

woke up with this Styx song today

Lady lyrics

Lady, when you’re with me I’m smiling
Give me all your love
Your hands build me up when I’m sinking
Just touch me and my troubles all fade
Lady, from the moment I saw you
Standing all alone
You gave all the love that I needed
So shy, like a child who has grown

You’re my lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my lady

Lady, turns me on when I’m lonely
Show me all your charm
Evenings when she lays down beside me
Just take me gently into your arms

Your my lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my lady

Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear, and lovely
You’re my ... lady

french toast ear muffs

working at a job
gym
wrong gym.. couldn't find cardio.. although had just been doing lunges on a treadmill, but there was supposed to be another floor. Left the gym and was in a large complex of white buildings with bridges to each other and was looking for the other gym floor (maybe to change clothes or something).

I had some baby twins (not mine). We were walking by this cartoony looking building. I think it was supposed to be an advertisement for milk etc. There was some person looking out a window dressed in a plush cow costume. I had already got the twins some free plush cows. Then there was some large lady with french toast ear muffs. I said... could they get some of those? She was all rhyming with her answer, but more or less saying no. But she gave me some other things. The twins were holding on to them and we had to get back. Then these other little kids and mother started coming after us. They wanted our goods. Now, instead of a building, we were outside. I was running down narrow trails with sticklery branches trying to get myself and the twins away from these little monsters (no real monsters... the kids). So I saw we were running on ice, so I ran and jumped on my hind end to see if we could slide faster down the trail. Then we were in a big line of people. It was like I was in some sort of game, but a real life one. We all had to go through these trials and tests to get out. I was with someone else. I guess he was part of our group. He did this really hard test. Jumping from one pipe to another... having to disarm anther pipe by hitting it with a rock. and then he was gone. I thought he did that for our "team.".... I was thinking... am I supposed to do this while carrying twins??? NO way. I then saw him running in the line to meet up with someone he knew (I was far away but could see him I guess for the story's sake). He ran to find his buddy in line who was submerged in mud. They all were... in the line to leave. He was excited saying he got out. His buddy said "and where are the rest of them?" He replied, "Still back there." He yelled at him saying we were supposed to do it together etc. Then all of a sudden (no joke) That dog from that movie (can't remember) but very large dog that could fly... realized the news and was angry.. was in the air... he looked much older now and scraggly. I think he was coming to get mad at the guy... but then to come save us. And I felt better. ;)

learning to read...

Initially there was a dream with a woman in it. It seemed to be the early 1900s...

Then I was with an exbf. We were in bed talking. I had a wine glass in my hand that had held grapefruit juice. He was telling me someone was coming over.. I was thinking... shouldn't you leave? you are married. I sneezed and the glass shook. The liquid had formed a pattern that was kind of interested. I was looking at it and wanted him to see it. Then I said.. isn't it strange how this grapefruit juice almost looks like milk? It was milky pink. He said.. It's the resin.

Then I was in a room with some guys. We were working on some project or something? One (a guy I went to highschool with) was all worried about learning to read or learn a language or something. He picked a subject that he wasn't fond of to learn with and he was struggling. I said....I think it would be helpful if you picked something you were excited or passionate about to learn what you need to learn. You would be more enthused to learn the words etc.

shoppping and scary loft and mands

I was shopping with my family at some special warehouse sale. My step mom wanted to buy a game. it was a dvd that was a historical movie but it was a game. You had to look for clues in the movie... could be the words, could be pictures... or could be if images would create a symbol .. (like if you blurred your eyes... you would see that the people in the film created the shape of a cross or something although not meaning to for the story).....

---

then had a dream that my friend sascha wanted to video cam.... he turned it on ,but forgot.. so I saw him and his girlfriend in ways I shouldn't... her flirting and so on.... I felt very uncomfortable... then I saw where I was living... a loft in an old building but there were skeletons etc.. carved out of wood as the beams of the roof.. was very scary. I needed to concentrate on other things...

---

I was sitting with a guy I went to highschool with... He had thought I was having a conversation with someone regarding how well a guy is endowed. The guy had a small frame and tiny hands. I wanted to dispute the idea of the size of the hands vs.... etc.  So he said... Mands (man's hands put together) really can be all sizes and so on... I just thought it was funny his use of the word "mands."  Then I was recalling a dream in the dream. I had been kissing someone and it felt sooo real. Was strange. Then I went into my bfs (this guy I have no idea who he is)... room. I noticed he had video taped me while dreaming and I was  actually making faces like I was kissing someone :-s... and then I noticed he had copied my journals and notes and so on and went through all of my things. I think I was so upset and disappointed that I was beyond getting mad somehow. It was as if my feelings just went to not being upset to feeling empathy for him wondering how he must feel to do such a thing.

France and Metal bugs

First I was in France but with a schoolmate that was from first grade. She was all grown up now and had lived in France a while and was kind of showing me the ropes. We were in a college and then a cafeteria, then taking a bus and then off the bus again jumping off (the buses would only slow down, not stop). And then and then and then...

Then I was asked to be in a movie or something. I was with a crew of people. We were on location outside. There were cameras, costumes, etc. I really don't know what character I was, just that they pulled me in. I think there was something secret I knew... oh... This guy was dieing. He was the old king or something.... one big eye, one small, yellowed and browned teeth that were long like an old rabbit's, bald, a hunch back... etc.. but he was the power. He just died and the mother is frantic, telling her son he is the power now, but the only way he can do it is to fake being the father. So she has an elaborate costume for him to wear.... It felt horrible because he would be spending his life being this hideous creature.... just for power. Then I was late to the meeting of sorts and all of the other actors were sitting there. I took out my notes (it was kind of like a class) and was hoping I had everything. It seems I did, and was ahead of the class and doing fine. I looked across the room and there was the son walking by, as the father. There were interactions with the other students, friendly ones and then we had to go. Then I was in the agency office. They said my work was done now. I'm not sure I really did anything. I felt like they decided they didn't like me. They said their top stylist was going to cut my hair. I was kind of excited. She would lift my hair up.. and as it fell, cut. Somehow it would fall perfectly cut and then dry and curl ... pretty nice.

Then I had a dream I was watching this story on a man getting old.... written by his son (last night I was browsing a site like this). Then if I went backwards in the photos, it showed the son from youth. I then saw him as a baby and black and white photos of him being born out of the earth (the parents were creatives). They had shown him coming out of some soil, feet first on gravel. I thought... how funny, that must have been way back when, when they thought babies came out head first, but then... why would they say that if they knew better??  Then the baby was alive and I was holding it (kind of a chunk) and I was taking care of two other children. :-s The baby and I were playing though... I dusted off the pebbles but then I realized they would crawl back on. They pebbles were insects, but the insects where metal letters from an old typewriter ball. They were crawling at his face and I was quicky brushing them off. Then we walked away and then this little bird thing jumped on my skin and dug in. But it wasn't a bird thing, it was a little metal thing clamping on to my skin. I took it off and tried to kill it. Then it came back on to the baby. I did it again and it was gone. Then we went to go see the other children. They were there (thank god) and playing with other kids. I had looked at the a baby and it had pock marks. I thought.. interested, since as an adult he has pock marks too.

swimming in the river and old wise-ish man

My first dream is vague-ish, but going along the theme of a guy in my dream. I think initially I was driving a motorcycle up some muddy path. Myself and some friends were heading to some docks. Before this we were "opening" easter baskets or something like it. There were little kids etc. and checking to see who was happy with what. I think I remember some sort of stickers or something...??? Back to the muddy path... we got to the water , just my guy friend and we were trying to choose which boat or raft to go in, and I was so eager to get in, I just jumped in the water. It felt so good too. It was the perfect temperature. He and I could almost float down the river on our own, with nothing underneath us and it went pretty fast. It was fun. Then we ended up with everyone else. My dad and step-mom were there and her extended family (which is huge). They were all deciding when to get in the water, what to do, lots of talking and not a lot of decision making.

I was in this room and sitting at a table. First I was going through papers. I think I was working and stamping them with dates. The woman in front of me was doing the same thing, but she was a bit slower. She was also not recycling the envelopes and so on. So I took her pile and finished it too. Then I realized with a gasp that I had been using the wrong stamp. It said complete. I was panicked, I wasn't sure if they were completed or not. Then at one point it felt ok and I moved on. Then I was in the same room at a larger table. People were working on some sort of project. It was an assignment of sorts and it seems there was a "right" way to do it, but it was a creative assignment. There were beads, shells, glue, images, other little pieces of this and that and we were all supposed to make a sculpture of sorts on a board. There was an old man there... long white hair, long white beard, old, you could tell he was supposed to be wise. But in my dream I didn't agree with where he was going with the project. I thought sure, at one time that was the truth... but my gut was telling me that the truth has altered now and although I could have done the project exactly how he wanted to play nice nice and appease, I just couldn't do it. So I took my things and started making it how I thought it should be. It felt better. He saw what I was doing and tried to talk to me about it. I knew part of him was disappointed, but part also knew he had to let go and he was moving on. My feeling about what I was doing wasn't complete though. I knew it shouldn't be what was expected, but I only could feel pieces of how it should be. He came over to inspect what I was doing and I just wanted to hide everything. I felt exposed and frustrated that I couldn't explain with words what I was feeling and trying to accomplish. At this point the subject of the project was no longer a board only, but a video and way of living. I started crying saying.... I just can't do all of this. I feel I have to be so perfect and eat organic and know how to live perfectly and I can't eat only organic and live only the good way (huh? ) etc. etc.... and he told me... it is ok, because it isn't time for that yet. I don't have to be that person yet...

water torture and roommates

One dream I was living with two other people. One guy had his own room with a door, the other girl and I were in the next section. We both had bunk beds. I tried to angle mine so I could have more space and she angled her's for more privacy....

Then I had a dream that these prisoners were about to be tortured. There was a large helicopter ... the men were tied to some posts next to it. Then I guy would through a large bucket of water on the blades while they where going. I could see the water coming off of the blades in slow motion ... they looked like bbs. They would hit the men and their skin would be bruised and would break.

game show and magic box

I had a dream I was watching a game show... it was called "What I did while in the waiting room..." The hosts or questioners were prostitutes and they would ask questions to the men on what they were thinking/doing while waiting for their turn. Kind of odd....

Then I had a dream I was supposed to go to another?? dimension.. I was thinking.. noooo that isn't possible, but then I realized if I thought that... then it for sure wouldn't be possible. This old man (long white hair etc.) said.... just get in the box... think of being there, feel like you are there. At that moment I could feel my legs tingling, less tingle and more vibratey... like I had a bunch of bees buzzing on my legs. I told him because I was excited.. then I get the kind of high feeling and then poof... I was in another dimension... I was back in time (or not), but there was a castle and horses and so on. Before I was in the other dimension he told me what my purpose was... can't remember now.

men, men and men

Maybe because it is spring??

Each night I have dream and it includes a guy... new guy each time... completely different look to each one and different style of person. And I don't know any of them.... all new faces...

one i was at a carnival .... visiting one of the workers in his trailer - kissed him (really felt like I was there).. dark short brown hair

another I was moving in to a very large loft with these women (very cool large loft)... and my?? guy was there... kind of a surfer type

another?? not sure of the circumstances... tall, black hair, almost shaved head etc...

another.. a guy in a stocking cap... youngish, large nose...

in each of these, they were my boyfriend type...  all pleasant dreams...

red rain

I have had misc. dreams but they are *poof* gone when I wake up....

Last night was dreaming me and some people were all packing up to leave. The land was going to be destroyed some how and we were heading for some islands. One woman was yelling saying that if we go to the islands we will be stuck due to limited resources and we should find another mainland to go to. I was packing my things and ... seems a lot of people were gone. I was taking care of the last minute items while others were moving. Outside it was raining tiny red gravel and it was very dusty. A guy came in to see if I needed help. He was nice but I told him to go help that lady... she needed it more. Then I saw people driving up to the house/building.... Some older guy wanted lumber. I had never worked the lumber area and looked at the others to see if this was ok.. they nodded 'go for it.' So I went to go help the guy but then something else happened or someone else took over.. as much as it was a catastrophic type dream, it kept feeling nice... people helping each other and looking out for each other.

photos, wedding, new office....

First a friend of mine was going to be taking photos in the city. I was there before he was and it had just rained, was all shiny and there were lots of buildings with windows and reflective surfaces, sparkling lights etc. I was excited for him because he likes this kind of photography and he would have so many good shots and I knew that they would be good.

* * *

I was getting ready for a friend's wedding. She had about 3 of us in it and her sister (the maid of honor) was going to be late. We all flew in to the country where she was getting married, so we were all in a festive fun mood. I was trying on the special slips that went under the dress, but the one I ordered was too big, so I needed to get another. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure where to find this kind of slip in this country with so little time left. We were all in a cab headed for where the bride was staying. They were having coffee in the kitchen and I remember a red toaster. She was in very good spirits. She had a strapless dress, in cream silk, that criss crossed at the bodice and then was somewhat full below with various folds.

* * *

I was back with an old company I used to work for. It started out that we were doing an event in a tropical country, but then it was that we were opening a new office there. I was in a huge suite at a very nice hotel. I was gone for a couple of days, and when I came back, all of these young kids (highschool to just in college) were in the place and had made a huge mess. They had heard it was going to be empty, so broke in. They had food all over the ground trailing to a back room in the suite. They all got up and started leaving... I said listen.. I don't have a job (reality popping in my dream), so it is not like I can afford this mess you created. Then I looked over at the liquor cabinet. It looked like a large nice china cabinet, glass encased, but bottles of very expensive liquor. They had opened most of the bottles and some were down to half empty. I would be charged for this too. Ugh...I grabbed one of them and said .. Give me your phone number! She was youngish, with long brown straight hair. She was scared and almost to tears. She gave me a number and then I said .. Now I'm going to test it. She looked even more scared... as if she gave me a false number. No one answered. Then I asked for her information. I let her know she wasn't going to get in trouble, I just needed someone to be witness that someone had broken in and that I wasn't responsible for the mess.  Then I realized the office was meeting in my room that morning. I started calling for a maid, but then I see someone else did and the suite was filled with workers, desks and so on. It felt awful. Being stuck with the pushy manage, the yes men office people, the ..... rest of the office types.  I so didn't fit. It was so much work to be around these people, that it took focus off of my work. I had to go for something outside of the room with some others. A class or a retreat or an errand?? We drove around the island. We were looking out over the edge of the road. It was pretty there, but we weren't going to be able to enjoy any of it. We had deadlines to meet, suits to wear, masks to put on for clients. Why did they all look like they were enjoying themselves? Like why would you want to go down to the water?  Isn't it great being a XX executive? We had to go back to the main office and we were wondering how. I knew it was going back half way around the island, but with the many people not being able to listen. We didn't get far...

movie, spaceship, flying late

Catching up.....
___________
I was walking to a movie. Others seemed to be too. I then was walking or riding a bicycle and a guy that I knew was next to me. He had dark short wavy hair and seemed funny and I liked him. On the walk I find out he likes me too. We go to the movie together and sit together, then the movie is over. As we walk out I get this urgency feeling. I need to go get this bag. It is in the lobby. Something feels sneaky about it. I either don't want anyone to know what I'm doing because I'm afraid they will take the contents, ask me questions about it, or maybe what I'm doing is wrong. I'm not sure. This bag ends up being a big plastic bag and it is between racks of resale clothing. I dig through it and see baseball cards. I think... Jack will like these, I will save them for Jack. I know there is something worth something in the bag, but never find out what it is because I am in such a rush and still trying to hide it at the same time. I think realize I left my black wool coat somewhere. I'm a little frantic because it has all of my money in it as well as my passport, keys and phone. At that point I'm more worried about how I will contact that guy again than I am the money or the keys. An old black man that is the janitor/security guy at the theater asks me if he can help. He finds my coat and I'm relieved, but then anxious again. Not for what I have but for my actions. I feel bad with my secrecy and this bag I'm holding. And that I almost lost something important (this guy I liked), due to this need for the bag.

* * *
I'm riding in a spaceship. There is a captain (an attractive strong black woman dressed in almost late 80s business attire) and her side guy. A tall young thin fella who is a little quirky but nice. We are flying fast over the earth (but close over the earth). Either through floor screens or maybe the floor is translucent in places, we can see the ground skimming fast below us. The captain has to leave and wants me to take over the "driving." I am new and need to get used to this. You fly it partly by hand control, but otherwise by clearing your mind and letting it flow. You sort of think of where you are going, but kind of as hard as you have to think when you are jogging, you just do it. We start flying over Holland... I just miss hitting some windmills (the modern kind that are very tall) and I'm feeling a little uneasy about my flying skills... Then we fly over Denmark (lots of water etc.) Then there is a large city with a low center. Kind of a park in the middle of the city, but it has a stadium, museums etc. with large flat green areas inbetween. The people are all gathering. I am not sure if something good is happening or something bad. We hover there for a bit and then we fly again. I'm told we are seeking out a the white dragon. In my mind of course I'm thinking... for real? you kidding?  but I know they mean it.

* * *
I am out with a friend. We are driving around. I think we are meeting friends for cocktails or something. Then we are at some sort of convention at a hotel. I have a boyfriend. A larger fella with short dark hair, casual business type attire. I really like him and visa versa. He is driving me now and we are in a flashy futuristic car. I think we are looking for some food to eat. Then my girlfriend and I are in a fast food place. I say I really want mexican food and she says.... hello! we are in taco bell!  I say.... Ohh... yeah.. but I want a mexi-pizza.... which in the dream is at some other fast food joint. They are ordering and I can't decide what I want. I say... you know, my problem is I don't eat and then wait until I'm really hungry and then can't make a decision or make poor decisions. Then all of a sudden I need to get to the airport. My boyfriend is someplace else and he bought me a ticket that leaves in two hours. The problem is, my suitcase is at my friend Penny's which is 30 minutes away. I say I really don't need the clothes, but I want my toiletries at least. We rush around, not sure if I really get the suitcase or toiletries but then I'm outside the nice hotel again. I'm anxious to go to the airport, but then a woman drives up with a white airplane. It is small, old-fashioned, yet modern. It is as if they took an old Bugatti and fashioned it into an airplane (really cute). An old man says he can fly me and not to worry so much about time. We'll get there faster without all of the check-in/security/etc. routine.  He is a nice old man and feels father or grandfather like. I relax.

circus queen

I was in some strange place. I felt like I was just finishing up with some biz related conference, but it had a circus feel and they were starting to tear down the tents. They were blow up tents and we walked on two tone blue blow up fields. The rows of the fields were alternating tubes of light and dark blue. I was walking towards one yellow tent that was still up and had lights on. When I went in, it was more like a circus and they were having a joust or mini ?? team fight of sorts. I was on one team and it felt kind of light, I had no fear and it was easy. I ended up killing the other team's queen or it was our's, I'm not sure. I was worried at first that everyone would be mad at me, but they all cheered me and I was the next queen.

little restaurant

I was getting flea bomb for my house. I went to one store... it was closing, then the next, it was closing. Then went to the last store to see if they had a flea bomb. I didn't see anything I was familiar with on this wall of dog shampoos etc. This girl I was with said Oh.. I always use this one. She was a coworker, nice friendly, and dressed in navy. I said I wasn't sure that was flea bomb... I'm used to the little can. Then a clerk came over and asked what I needed. I said... well, my dog is not at my place, so I thought it would be a good time to bomb the house. He said this is what we have... and showed me two options, and then said but I prefer this one. And he showed me this spray bottle that he would spray over something else that would make a mist. He said it is also better for the environment and the dog. I said I would take it. All of my friends were behind me either sitting or? It was almost like we were at a bar now. I went to the counter to pay. The clerk had reddish hair, a beard, a little scruffy, like a young urban hippy. He was very nice and laid back. He told me $6 something an I handed him some money. I saw that I accidentally gave him a $2 bill I wanted to keep and asked for it back politely and he said.. here ya go, and you might want to keep these too. He handed over a couple of slips of special paper. I forgot I had had them and had ignored them. I read the one saying it was a contest with the ability to win $100. I thought.. you are right... I'll keep these, thanks!... Then I read the next slip and it said I won $1. And I thought that was kind of a nice surprise. Then he said... oh and this one and he handed me another slip and I had one $500.  I was so happy about the nice surprise I got up on a stool so I could lean over the counter and kissed him and screamed to the whole room.  Later I was home and writing an email to a friend from DC. I was sitting on the floor with my laptop and it had a webcam. I started writing but then realized I needed to delete the auto pic it took because I had nothing on and he could see everything. When I double clicked it sent the mail. UGH. I went to see if it really sent... and then I immediately sent him an email apologizing and saying that it was an accident.. He said no worries and that was that. It didn't have to be a big deal.

Next dream
I was with some people and looked at this place.. it was all near the same area as the previous dream. This guy was saying this little restaurant was for sale. It was a little place I had always liked. It was tiny, with a little bar and in an older building. Actually most of it was bar with seating around the edges, but it seemed to always be packed. I ended up buying the place. I was a little nervous because of the risk. It was 15k, a great deal, so I thought... I should really give it a try. I came over to it although the deal wasn't formally closed yet. This friend of mine, old south american man (not a real guy in my life, but always someone I respected), was showing me the place. He walked me in... I looked around and then thought.. I should really stay outside until it is closed. I went out and there was a swimming pool. I sat at a table with my friend and talked. Maybe about that I was nervous, maybe him telling me things... It felt comforting what ever it was. Then I saw a guy walking up the way. He was a guy I had sat next to in 6th grade. I had a crush on him back then. He looked really old now and balding. I thought that I would get in the water and he could talk to my friend. I hadn't seen him since junior high. I was in the water along with a vw bug.. although it seemed to be more of a blow up car, but I guess it was mine and I wanted to hold on to it. They continued to talk and I was hoping he would recognize me or say something, but he didn't. I finally got out of the water and said hello, he still just wanted to talk to my friend. So I got dressed and finally my friend and I went into the restaurant. It was about to close and people were leaving. I guess they normally closed at 11p.m. As people trickled out I looked at the bar and equipment and immediately started thinking of what I would change... Do I want to get rid of the blended drinks so these old blenders are not taking up space... or are these some of the clients' favorites? I would have to see. I was excited to find out though. I saw some of the dishwasher's leave, and then an asian lady come to do the night cleaning. I went to put my things in a back room and thought I should change clothes to not get dirty, but all of my things felt tight. I hung them in this ?? not used closet that was really dirty and had a bag of chocolates. Was this why the clothes were tight? Then my friend came and said.. come see your kitchen and the back room, but don't hit your head, the ceilings are low. I said I should be fine... and with the restaurant too.. it has made it this long... and then he gave me a look of... don't be so sure... He was then in chefs clothes and I realized he had worked there and really knew the business. I was about to get mad at him and then he motioned for me to see the staff. The bar man that was sweet but probably couldn't get a job anywhere else, the little old chinese cleaning lady, the guys in the back... I could feel what he was saying with his hands. You are not taking on this business to make money, you are taking on this business to take care of this family here that started in this place. I then felt ashamed of myself for thinking of the the amount of $ .. Like $ would do anything for me, for my life... it was keeping these people together and safe that was more important.

baby cocoon

 I was in a home with these people I didn't know, but in a way they were my family. There was a baby and they had him in a box. I went to pick him up... it was like he was a hmm I don't know how I got this idea, but he was in a garment/blanket that was like a bag.. but had hmm think of a flower that droops.. so the stem is at the top of the flower.. and then flower hangs down... so he was in something like that.... opened the garment and he was saying too light.. I could see him wince every time some light got on him and so I covered him back up. He was a moth baby (not sure where that came from but it was in the dream).  I think moth's generally like light. ;)  So I asked him if he wanted to be hung (by the top of the bag thing he was in)... I did it for a while.. then he started talking and talking. We went over to a quiet place (HUGE house) and it was up some stairs but we could look down into a big white room. There was a lecture going on about some large art pieces in the room. I can't remember what they looked like now. The boy and I just kept having  a nice time (no longer a baby... he was small but could talk). I was thinking about him and wondered how he was doing now that he didn't have his cocoon around him. He seemed fine. We left that place and back to the main house. The family reminded me to get my boxes (I guess I received a present and it was in the boxes). I think I liked the boxes better than the present. They were black wood and very nice. So the boy and I kept talking. He was intelligent and I was thinking we had a special bond. He didn't open up to his family like this or anyone else and I enjoyed his company too. It was that feeling when you are totally comfortable around someone. 

a house

I was in a store with my exbf michael. I owed him some money or something. It was uncomfortable to be around him. He didn't want to be around me and didn't like me. He was picking out something I could buy him to replace the money I owed him. He was looking at a watch and then this special golfing glove. I only owed him about 20 and this would all cost 45 to 50. I wanted to say no due to the price, but then I felt cheap.

Then I am in a place and moving and packing. I was stuffing foam and bubble wrap in a bag to throw away, but then decided I might need it for packing. Then a friend stopped by (he is in Hamburg, but was living in portland). He was asking what was up and I told him moving. He had his computer and I think wanted to use my internet. I just wanted to get on with packing...
Then in this same house, I worked there. I would let these old ladies in for seminar type things. There were also children playing in the backyard. They ladies would come in and sit around the couch. I ordered catering and this horrible food came. It was all kind of blah and brown and white. I helped one old lady sit down and she scolded me for not helping her in the door last time. She said you just opened the door and left. I apologized, but also remembered it was a day when the phones were ringing off the hook. Someone else backed me on my story.

Then I was having a garage sale of sorts. First I was going through my closet and realized I had a lot of clothes I had forgot about and not even worn. One was a kelly green dress with black ribbon accents, the a yellow and white dress that was kind of fluffy and cute, and on and on... all seeming from the 50s or 40s, but new (anthropologie like)... I was kind of excited, like finding treasures. Then we were also selling things. Kind of having an indoor garage sale, but then later it felt like just moving stuff out of the house to clean or paint. People were walking through the house and this guy (looked like colin firth, but was dressed kind of young artsy). I saw him and thought he was cute, but I knew we were not each other's types. Not sure why I thought this. Maybe a gut reaction because if he was cute, it would be better if I thought we were not each other's types to save me the trouble of getting rejected. He walked through the house, finding nothing interesting and then left. I continued putting things out on the front lawn with my dad (who in my dream was homer simpson). Then Colin came walking back on his way back. He looked right to my eyes and tried to make eye contact and I looked away and then back up and then away. I walked in the house. The attention was too much for me to know what to do with. I started packing up other things and two boys (family friends or neighbor boys) came running in. He asked us to ask you if you would like to go to dinner. I was so excited and happy as well as making fun that he didn't ask me himself. Then I wrote on a paper yes. For some reason I couldn't write well, but I didn't care. So then we are together, this Colin person and I. We are happy, kissing, driving around and so on. At one point I'm driving this odd car and something happens, he is leaning to one side making it tilt or?? but the car gets dented up and I'm not happy about it.

Then I'm in a class, lots of people . art type class. We all really like each other and enjoy the class. We are supposed to take a test, and I am excited to take it. But everyone has a test but me. I find the instructor and they ask around for one, but can't find one. There is a huge copy machine and Im thinking.. can't you just copy someone else's test? But I figure she has a reason and her own solution, so let her wonder around and think of one. She finally decides that I should do the test with someone. She tells the story and asks who can take the test with me (mind you in this classroom, there are no desks, no chairs. Half the room is supplies, easels, large counter, piles of paper and so on... the rest, we are all sitting on the floor.  She is still asking around to people if someone could share a test with me. In the mean time I see this native american type girl that is also a teacher. I see Pattumma (my brother's wife) and she is the one that gave Pattumma a test and is getting her a job. She passed (she recently took a test). Then the first lady is talking to some immagrants from? they are black but speak some type of island language. They are telling a story.. showing the birth of a baby and then the little girl continues the story. She starts talking in a strong, very low voiced new zealand accent on how she was ugly and always wanted to commit suicide because she didn't fit in, she wasn't pretty and so on... then the mother is trying to tell the story but her in native language, she is crying because she is so happy about her daughter.. she was in a disco and found music.. and it made her daughter so happy she was dancing adn dancing and pretty didn't matter anymore.. and it was silly to want to die when she could have this

houses

First I was walking along a construction site. It was in the street, but I was part of the project somehow. I was walking over some boards in business attire. I knew the workers somewhat and I was on my way to do or look for something. It was night... people were waiting for me. I was then walking to a holiday house. An old friend of mine was going with me. The house was rented to someone else, but we wanted to use the jacuzzi before they came. We were too late. We arrived and they arrived soon after. We apologized, but they were fine with us. Then someone delivered a musical instrument to the house. My mom had it and said.. I wonder why she (my grandma) gave it to ??? So my mom was fixing it up. It was a box andwhen you lift the lid, the instrument's back was the lid top. It looked like a cross between a ukulele and a violin. You played the instrument with a bow, but by strumming or hitting the strings with it as well as your fingers. She was also sorting out some pie. Part cherry pie with a perfect crust and part?? I helped her because I wanted to make sure none of the other dessert got on the crust. It was just too perfect and pretty. Then I was upstairs in a house. A guy friend of mine from Argentina was there. He had a headset on and had an appointment with a client. He was some sort of consultant/counselor. He was in his underwear, being sweet but also letting me know I had to be quiet due to the appointment.  A boy came in and told us something. He was a little brother of sorts. He said the tea was ready or something. So I went into the other room and an older smart looking woman came in delivering our tea. She didn't feel like a servant, but she was serving. Then I moved a teabag in one cup, so that a cat could drink the tea.

Indian man, new apartment

From yesterday


I dreamt I was in a cab. I had just paid the man but then dropped a pendant in the back seat. I was reaching down for it and in the mean time found lots of change and kept handing it to the man feeling like.. aren't you excited? look at all this money you didn't know you had.... He thought it was odd I was taking the time to do this. Then I left the cab and I was in a house laying on a couch covered with a blanket half awake. In the dream I was thought I was feeling the back of the couch against my legs and back but I was half-wishing it was this Indian man behind me. Then it was and I wasn't wishing it so much anymore. Kind of a 'careful of what you wish for' feeling. He was behind me adn being sweet and cuddly, but I wanted to get away, but had to be nice back. His son, a teen of about 17, came in and was talking. I guess this man and I were in a relationship. Something about it felt secure, nice, I had nothing to worry about whatsoever. But it felt like I gave up my heart and self for a feeling of security. I was clothes-less at one point and I felt the guy I was really excited about was about to walk through the door. I wanted to do anything I could to detach myself from the current situation to be with him. I didn't care if we were poor, or in a disaster, I just wanted to be with him. 


I dreamt a friend of mine's twins. the girl, who is only two.. knew how to tell jokes and be witty...


I dreamt about a friend of mine in Denmark. I got a job there and he said, sorry.. I have a girlfriend. I didn't care either way and didn't know why he thought I did. I just said.. well good for you....


Then the dream went to me getting an apartment. I was in a new place and wasn't sure of my finances at the moment, so I got a very cheap place. The walls were all unfinished. They were like brown paper with a bunch of nails or tack points sticking out from the walls. The floors were somewhat wooden but in other places like the walls with tacks or nails poking out. I was thinking, I need to get my money back.. this place is in shambles... but then the floor was smooth wood again and the walls didn't bother me so much. And the place was really huge and a great layout. I started dancing all over the floor in a full skirt that swung around when I would spin while ghost dancing with someone. I was thinking I should really have a party before I get furniture. It felt so open and nice. Then I walked into the next room and it was huge and beautiful. Dark wood doors and moldings, wood floors, large built in closet and two bathrooms. Then I had a roommate and realized penny was my roommate while I was in the first room and Kirsten was my roommate when I was in the second.

bits and pieces

This was actually two nights ago...

Event at a place. I was running it sort of.

Someone mentioned too the cleaning lady that she wasn't so grumpy. And she said that she is grumpy during the week but not on the weekend

Girl from class was the ? model at the event. She put on glittery powder all over to get ready.

repeating the dream

Night before:
I dreamt the other night that something was coming to end the world. Like we knew we were going to die, it was only time..... A friend of mine was going on a special mission.... he thought ... to try out an ?? antidote...like something that would keep us alive. I went up to him and his wife, she was giving him snacks. He was going to fly out in this black ball thing. And I said.. you know.. this isn't an antidote, they are giving you a drug to see if it will help you die easier without pain.... He just looked at me like... don't tell me this!  My brother was there too.. not sure of his role.

Tonight
I dreamt I saw an old bf from hmm little under 20 years ago. But we were good friends. We were walking and talking in a park in Portland. It was nice to see him etc.. but then he was wanting to be physical. He is married. It made me feel like then he had no respect for me... or his wife and so I wanted him to go. Then I was walking with my brother and just started to tell him the dream I had in the previous post, but then I saw my friends Kirk and Hong who were in the dream too... so I waved them over and was telling him the dream. I said the antidote funny by accident (with a southern accent almost) and then corrected myself. His friend said no harm in funny pronunciations... then I continued telling the dream and Kirk, again was upset hearing it.