dream from 12/6/05

first I had a dream that we knew the world was ending... something about the sun... it had either been orbiting at an unmeasurably slow rate that we didn't notice and was just getting closer... or something similar... not everyone knew though... my first thought was to get a hold of some sort of drug to kill myself before it got here.. it would dry up crops first (quickly) as well as make the air unbreathable etc....
then I had a dream about another person from the ex's group... kind of the group ?? idiot?? he was sweet though and married a little gal that was fitting.. but anyhoo.. saw him and her in my dream in an Irish sort of pub and had beers with them... was nice
then had another dream where I could fly.... I would hold on to my soccer ball?? (or maybe it was a volleyball) and just think in a certain area and would go right to it. If I doubted my abilities or thought about it too much... like how it worked etc.. I would fall... but if I just focussed on the end point.. would make it there no problem... I flew up first and saw two different games going.. one soccer game.. but some sort of ultimate soccer .. HUGE field.. something like 4 teams.. for different goal nets etc... then another that was a huge soccer ball, smaller court... and like 2 players... then I flew towards the hills.. trees, forest... between homes... villagers...etc. landed near this home... walked by these motor cycle riders (that in the dream were my friend Matt's ex's friends)... then into an old victorian house... saw a woman there and she asked if I wanted a 9 card reading.... thinking she just wanted money... I passed.. and said I would like to rent a room. So I went into the room with pillows.. blankets etc.. took a little rest and then a visitor came.. a man who was a travelor.. I knew him from something and wanted to know more about his travels and who he was... then I left.. (and woke up I think)

Dream I had 7/8/05

these zombies.. as long as you fed them or kept them busy on an acitivity.. they wouldn't eat you.. but they would lose track a lot so it was constant attention.. so I decided to leave.. and went down the street.. and realized no one else was taking care of their zombies like I was... so they were all pretty focussed on attaining my brains I guess... so I was running.. and this gal falls off her bike and has blood running down her forehead.. so I thought she was a zombie and was about to shoot her and she screamed not to.. so I didn't
then this other gal.. a jogger (and I think her friend) was walking up.. and the gal didn't see her.. and I saw she was going to be a zombie at one point or other (and she looked high maintenance)... so I shot her in the neck... (very good shot I might add)
so this jogger gal.. was holding her neck and making gurgly noises... and her friend walks up to her and goes.. oh... man I had that same thing happen last week (having no idea that she was just shot and thought she was having flem issues)
I actually started laughing in my dream...

dream I had 1/25/05

one I was in the army or service of some sort.... was at a gathering thing... with my old boss and this big guy comes by and is checking in on us.. he seems very macho/authoritative and so on... dressed a little different etc... he had on tennis shoes with a copper color in them.
at one point he is getting after us... for something... always disappearing at certain times...
then I get someo sort of flashback.. someone was killed in the water.. he jumped in the boat taking his place (not being part of that regiment)... and just lived off the base ... posing as a soldier ... anyhoo

another one I was in some magical seeming place... was a hotel.. but very modern, lots of glass... the bathroom was HUGE... many different kinds of tubs and showers and spa type things in it.. and the actual toilet was in a completely different room... all blue, green, clear and frosted glass.... my dad was staying there.... or something... then someone had a baby and it was no bigger than my little finger... was very strange... then I was walking through some ritzy mall... and some woman was a cleaning lady but stealing boots... then walked through another area.. adn they had actual sleeping babies as the display decorations (strange)

exploding heads, flower heads, roses for bunnies

Ok.. couple nights ago had bit of a disturbing dream... was in a bar with some people... everyone had a little too much. I think we were waiting for someone so we could get going and then we heard this man in a little area next to us. We thought he was throwing up, but it ended up that his head kind of imploded or exploded... I guess im.... since his skin structure was still intact, but his head was like a deflated balloon.. ugh .. it was awful...

Then I was with this guy.. he was eastern european.. he was trying to hit on me in a perverse way. We drove up to some park that had a firepit in it and I was sitting on a log and he stood up and exposed himself.. Oh thrill... I was trying to think of a good response. One that wouldn't get me stuck alone at night with no ride home, but one that was clear I had no interest. Then he moved and his penis was like a multiple... kind of like a flower... many of them all attached to the end.. ack! So that was an easy out... ugh..

Last night I dreamt about some country or island I was visiting. The people were nice, very tradtional, tight families etc. I visited one of the daughter's homes what was part of her parents' property.. It was a neat octagon house and she had lots of feminine yet whimsical things in her house... She had these cat figurines that were calle??? something cat... don't remember really.

Then I left there and was going to get my hair done. One gal was going to wait for me while I did it, then it was like all these people were waiting for me in a truck outside the salon. I needed to use the restroom so I walked in and it was one of those holes in the ground with places for your feet.. :-s... But I had first walked into the men's room and left. I was still waiting for my appointment and one of their displays was all a mess, so I organized that while waiting. I also so these swatches of hair and color.. and I saw the one that I was and thought it was good.

Another part of my dream I was in some mall. I worked in one tower if it and it was connected to the other tower via different rooms. I checked out this one place for an appointment. There were a lot of fun people there I had never seen and we were getting on well. I was thinking oh.. these could be some new people to hang out with. Then they had these freebies on the counter. I took the whole pile of chasmere scarves... I dont' know why I did... was thinking I could give them to other people I worked with and saved them the trip, but at the same time it felt wrong to do. I even said outload to them... I don't know why I just grabbed all of these and left. I stopped in another area for breakfast.. and one of them saw me and snickered to a friend and I knew they were talked about me taking all the scarves. It felt awful..

Then another part of a dream I showed up to work and there was a huge bouquet of pale yellowish pink roses. I couldn't think of who they would be from, but felt nice either way. Ends up there were from some bunny rescue place and I had sent some emails around and found this one a home. They were very grateful so sent me roses.... I was a little disappointed. Wanted them to be from a boy. ;)

Games, planes and purpose

I dreamt that I was getting ready to go see a movie with a group of my brother's friends. They were all going to see Sex and the City. Before the movie, everyone was playing board games (something my brother is in to). Then it went from being there to me catching a plane. I was trying to get to the plane, but there were some issues with enough space. Finally this man let me on the plane with my friend from Philli. We had to climb up a pile of gold couch cushions to get to the door. Then once on the plane, it was kind of cramped and uncomfortable. I was next to this older woman. She was still attractive and took good care of herself, kind of classy. She asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no, I just kept meeting guys that I would help get to their next situation. She said that was my lot in life. I left feeling partly relieved and partly upset. Nice to know the reasoning behind my life, but at the same time sad to think I would never be with anyone.

Nice dresses and sex offender

Ok.. first had a dream that I was with some girls and we were in our late teens/early twenties. We were all preparing to go to some event that was girl related and/or association realted. We were all in nice dresses but more like from the 40s or 50s. I was wearing some flowery green and blue dress. We had some sort of head mistress person who was in charge of getting our group together. We stopped some where on the way (I think we were traveling by bus) to get some breakfast or something. The building was very white inside. Everything was white... that is about all I remember.

Next dream was involving women again but older. I was in some sort of hospital and we found out this one guy was a sex offender. All these women in the hospital had been his victims (coincidentally enough). One doctor was gathering all the women in this one hallway. She wanted him to be confronted by all the woman at once to see if it would shock him or change/fix him etc. They finally all gathered in one spot and the doctor had them all go in a room to wait. Then I woke up...

gallery

I had a dream about a friend of mine last night. I was in this big shopping center and she had a gallery in it. It was small, but open space, so felt larger. It was after hours and she was doing two huge paintings. The canvases were both on the floor and that was how she painted. She was talking about some gal that had a store next door. Kind of an artsy/nature-ee/whimsical type. She was about to have to close down her shop. My friend was saying, ... really, all you have to do is the basics, show up, be dependable, etc. and you can keep a shop alive, but she wouldn't show up to her shop half of the time. Anyhoo.. one of my friend's paintings was purple, red and black and the other was blues, yellows, greens and white - both abstract.

Fish....

Had a dream last night that I was sitting on the floor with a group of women. One was asking everyone their signs. I felt like I had just joined their conversation, so was the last to be asked, but I also knew that most of them that had answered had said pisces. She asked me and I said my sign as well as dob and time.. since this seemed to mean something to the woman. She wasn't very friendly... kind of assuming and ?? wasn't how you might normally feel around a bunch of fish.

I had another but it was that I went to the gym (have been trying to get myself out of bed to go)... so only really went in my dreams. :-s

New Office

Ok.. in reality, the company I'm working for is moving office in a week. So last night I had this dream that I was going to some warehouse, although some of it felt like a place maybe you would have a half outdoor/half indoor wedding or festivity/corp. workshop. Everyone was going to station #1, which was kind of set up like the odds n ends department at Ikea. They were all running around getting the parts they needed (screws, washers, tools, pieces) and it was like they knew what they were doing. I felt a little out of it, not even knowing I was supposed to be there, let alone what I was supposed to be searching for. Clarence (love that name), one of our youngest engineers asked me what the other thing was he needed with a bolt and nut, and he needed a 5/7ths size (??)... I was like washer? Yeah, that's it. At that one moment I felt helpful and that maybe I could catch up to everyone else on their unknown project. I still had no idea what to search for, so I was looking for a reference list or something and followed my coworkers into the next room. Two of my old officemates were in their own section building desks. (in reality, we just learned how our desks would be in the new place, and honestly, it stinks...). They had those things mechanics use to roll under cars with and they were under their desk hammering and screwing in bits. I felt even more lost at this point and it was getting close to evening where people were leaving so I figured I would work on it another time.

Had another dream I was having a get together at my place. In my dream it was sort of my mom's place too but she was on vacation or something. I had candles burning everywhere, drinks, dim lighting, lots of folks, everyone having a good time. I was a little anxious though because I felt at any second she would come home (mind you I'm 36). My brother was there too and he was messing with stuff and I was trying to get him to just visit with people, I needed to keep the place together as well as I could in case she arrived. There were 4 or 5 leather purses on this table behind my couch, all my mom's. and I was dumping them out for some reason to see what was inside... out of curiosity and boredom more than anything... Then I think she showed up.

Been a while....pirate ship

Had a cool pirate dream a while back. I was on a ship in the ocean and there were maybe 3 to 4 guys manning the ship. We were very close to the coastline (in reality, impossible) and we needed to turn the ship around quickly (also in reality impossible). I was holding on to a rope and hanging out over the ocean. The ship spun around so fast that it whipped me around and I kept swinging out and crashed through waves. I was yelling at the guys to help me, but no one paid attention. Then I saw this woman in a black dress walking on the shore. She was a ghost... and the story went that if you see this woman on the coast.. you would be the next to die. Then the next "scene" we were walking on the sand and looking for a pirate friend that had been captured. We were going to find him and free him. We walked up to some crates and he was inside.. there was a monkey too.. and in the dream I was thinking.. oh good cgi...

Anyhoo..

random ireland

Had a dream about a friend (last name ireland) last night... I'll be seeing him in London. I had a transam of all things and he asked to park it in the house. It was greasy underneath and I was worried a bit about the mess, but it seemed rude to not let him park inside the house (as odd as that sounds). His car also had an OR license plate, although he is a UK fella. Hmmm so we met, we ?? I really don't remember the rest, but that I really felt like he was in the room with me.

Dream before this, I was camping in an odd camp site. Each site had a little fence around it, a metal shed and grass. I was packing up my stuff and some guys that were macho was telling me I was ticking him off... and I needed to leave or he would mess up my stuff. He thought I was a gal named Amy (who is someone I work with in my new job). I said that I wasn't her and why was he mad at her? (she was coming to the campground next and I wanted to give her enough warning) He said he was mad at her because she made wigs... I asked what from? He wasnt' sure, so basically he was just angry. I was worried about Amy and also that Amy's brother might come too and want to beat the guy up. I didn't mind if the guy would get beat up, he just had a lot of guy friends there and her brother might get hurt. I went to go pick up some crates that were full of food and bugs were crawling all over them and I just dropped everything and tried to get out of there.

archeology....

Ok.. so was aware the dream mid-story. I had a metal object in my hand and was cleaning a groove of a wood box with it. It looked like the inside of a pen.. the metal part that holds the ink, but it was thicker and had a weird triangular shape at the end. I picked up another box... some relic... it was odd shaped, had some cut outs on it and I figured out that the metal object was a key. Although they were using it like a tool and?? a something that could be thrown away. I put the metal object down a long hole in the box and turned it.. the box openned and flat metal pieces of gold fell out. They were stamped into different shapes. They were images of gods or ?? god or ?? I was thinking it was spanish... so christian/catholic.. maybe jesus. I knew what ever it is I found, I wasn't supposed to have found. The box had been locked for a reason etc... the objects had some sort of message with them.. (not written).. but you knew what it meant. Something that would reinterpret religions of today... A mang started coming after me (think someone that looks like a musketeer)... I ran across a creek and tried to get away (oh, this all happened outside)... and that was the end.

I had another dream that I was selling my house (one I owned before) and that my ex wanted half of the $$. I was trying to figure out how much he actually paid on it, if any.... but I remembered that he helped work on it.. . it was stressful. Kind of an ... I owe someone something that I didn't feel like I owed thing.... hmmmm

couple of older dreams...

I haven't written my dreams in a while. I have had a few, but I don't remember them all. I have been jogging a lot more, getting up earlier, so maybe I'm not having more normal dream time.

1/4/08
I had a dream a friend (Sascha) of mine was going to his work or class or something and he kept stalling and/or forgetting things. I was looking through a pile of papers that we had both worked on. But they were all paintings, not good. Then I turned into an invisible person.. people were going through this house that was mine and my family's (but it wasn't my "real" family). I think I was one of the parents and not sure if I was the father or the mother.

1/6/08
The last part of my dream I was choosing bread. Then a guy came up and looked lost with the bread so I was showing him the different kinds I liked. I think I had many other dreams though. Oh. I remember another dream. I was on a bus or something with a group and we were going on some field trip. There was a guy there I was in love with and he with me. Then I told him some things that I was reading about. I think they were mystical etc. and he didn't like that I was even thinking about reading these sorts of things, and he thought I was odd, so he quit talking to me. I was very upset and hurt and just ran away and hid. Then once they were gone, I just kept walking.. through the streets, then I found an outdoor market of sorts with artists and things. I walked around for a bit and then was looking at this woman's art and accidentally spilled water on the table. It didn't hurt any of the art, but it just made me feel worse. Another artist and the floor near her made glass snails. I decided to sit down on the steps...

Maggot hunting and psychic counseling.... :-s

Ok.... first the dream started out like I was watching a new romantic comedy. It was going to star Meg Ryan (older... ) with?? forgot who. It showed her as a hick-type person falling for a more pristine type guy. The beginning of the movie has her in overalls yelling down to her brother (woody harrelson) who is inside this old hollow tree that goes down under ground. She is yelling at him to get out of there and was saying to hold on, he just wanted to eat a few more... he hadn't had these in soooooo long and they tasted so good. They being maggots. :-s..... special kinda i guess. He went down there initially to see where they were hiding so they could exterminate them. The camera panned down inside the hollow tree where you see all kinds of white wriggly things.. and then the back of woody's head and overalls as he is talking and eating. Then he lights a match down there and takes off and the tree burns up. Then I'm following them back to a house. It turns into me walking behind some women that are all dressed in black. A couple in perfect black lace bodices, perfect hair, makeup and so on. They all seem pretty mean. One of them had a tattoo on her back that was hot pink and I complimented her on it (it was unusual). Then one turned out to be Reese Witherspoon. She seemed mean but then had me follow her. Her hair was blond but she had about a couple inches of brown roots. She was a psychic and so was her sister. She wanted me to go to a counseling session with them. I went into a room that was all white with white furry floors. They sat on the floor and wanted me to join them. They kept talking to each other. They were treating me like I was "special." I had picked up something and was pushing the "right" button or something. Then two guys came in and they were also wanting to ask me questions and see what I was made of. It was odd. One was really nice to me and the other one was more into pushing my buttons to see if I would break. It was kinda of strange.

Cat Icons, super power school and new house

First one, a friend of mine was flying a plane around these ruins. The ruins were huge, like tall as skyscrapers and built around rock structures. They were very amazing. then I noticed the statues. They were all of cats, very stylistic. All different kinds of cats. In my dream I was really wanting to get down there to study them and more about the significance of the cats. Penny kept almost running into the rocks and structures though and laughing, so I wasn't sure I was going to make it to ever see them. Then we landed somewhere .. there was water. I was talking to some old man and we are talking about boats. He had me take a look at three that were on the water (like go and be on them and take a close look). I went over and he asked me what I thought of them. I said well this one isn't good but these two are not bad. I could tell because the ship had teeth around the edges (actual teeth) and you could tell that the one boat wasn't cared for. In the dream I meant cared for in a deeper sense. Like not just washed and kept up, but it wasn't loved. The person who owned it was empty.

Then I was in another dream where I was walking in the town I grew up in. I was walking near this park (which is actually where my grade school was). It was really pretty. It had a rock formation and was covered in ocean (although it was all confined to a park). People were out on boats and playing in the water. It was really nice. Then I saw this seal and her pup. They came over to me and hung out with me. Then I had to walk to school. It was a high school of sorts, but the teachers and students had powers or special skills. I was in a prep meeting for the teachers. One of them was new and she was invisible (she was also Glen Close). There was another instructor there that was invisible and as she walked by, he snipped off a piece of her skirt so he could study it and see how she was doing it. Chevy Chase was an instructor there too and he was at the front of the room with all the kids. He was filling his head with air and making it big and small to the beat of some music to make the students laugh. The students all had powers too but were learning to bring them out and/or refine them. I could float around everywhere and knew what everyone was thinking and doing.

Then I had another dream that my mom bought a house, but a wreck of a house. She sold a brand new one she had to buy one less expensive thinking it would be better and she could pay off debts. All it really did was make it so she had to spend more fixing up this place and/or buying things to make her feel happy because she wasn't.

Kitty hugs and 2-story tents

One I was with a little boy and he gave me a hug sort of. But it is like what a cat would do where they rub their face against yours. So he came up and rubbed his cheek against mine. It was sweet.

Then I had a dream that I was going to the beach or camping or... Well first I was on some farm, then a party was going to be held there for my birthday. My dad was there and he said he had a surprise for me. Then all these horses came and he said I could pick one for myself. There was a beautiful horse there that was gray, so I picked that one. Then came the camping thing... I was helping unpack the car. My dad/stepmom etc. were there and some friends of the family... a mexican family. They had two little girls and a boy. The tent was actually a house that you blew up like a balloon or a raft. It was two stories. The bottom floor had a couple rooms and a kitchen and the top floor had 3-4 bedrooms. The floor of the top floor in the landing/hallway was made of clear plastic and so was the roof, so light could be let into the bottom floor. Was kinda neat.

No idea what to call this one... long

was taking some boxes to this antique's estimator person.. and I had one box that was light blue/pink/lacey... kind renaissance-ish with odds and ends in it.. another very plain black box with an old flag and some things in it. She was going to see what everything was worth. Then I thought what a neat job to find old things and do the research of their history. Then I was seeing some guy. We were at the pool behind the house and there was white wool shag carpet all around the pool. The guy I was seeing was blond. He walked over with a bottle of red wine and poured a spot on the carpet near me on purpose to see if we could get the stain out (to see how careful we needed to be with the wine). Then I was telling him how to get the stain out. It finally all came out. Then we were swimming in the pool and there was a cartoon movie playing on the wall next to the pool (huge) and he was going on and on about how special this cartoon was to him and what the real meaning was behind the cartoon (which I don't remember). Then he had two kids all of a sudden and I was watching his kids at the pool. They were saying (now the pool had people all around it) that this lady had taken my towel, adn some other things of theirs. So I went over to confront the lady and she said.. boy that movie you were just watching.. that is worth hundreds and hundreds now.... I would sure like to borrow it. (she was really creepy and manipulative). Then I went into the house to get my boyfriend and in looking for him to tell him to make everyone leave the pool, it started another part of the dream. The house was huge. It used to be his parents. Lots of antique type things. The kitchen was really old, but the finest of everything at that time -type old. THere was an updated part of the kitchen and then I went around the corner (I was going to steam some potatoes) to look for a big pot and there was even an older kitchen with an aga (one of those ovens that stays on all the time). I came back out and there was an old man sitting and eating w/ the llittle boy kid. The little boy was eating bacon and sausages. Then there was a knock on the door and it was a woman wanting to be hired as a cook/maid/nanny. She seemed nice enough but there was a woman behind her that was miming her every move and at first had weird clown clothes on but then they turned into renaissance clothes. She was kinda like the woman at the pool. She was really cooky and we wanted her out. Ends up she was my bf's sister (which my bf changes later too). THen the next part the kids are walking home from school from across the street. There is a woman again (I think the same just dressed different) and I think she is like a cross walk attendant of sorts and a mom or teacher from the school. I see her daily and then one day the kids come in crying. This woman was telling them that if they don't find jesus and promise themselves to god they would go to hell etc. etc. So I went out and gave the woman what for...etc. Then there is sort of a gathering/party in the livingroom. All you guys are there and my brother and jean-luc and and and... and my bf is now a longer haired Tom Cruise ( I probably feel about tom cruise how you do about bill pullman). So everyone is sitting on this big couch (kinda like the ace hotel) and there is a huge almost imax screen in front of us and we are watching one of those "earth" nature films. It was really cool on Imax because it felt like you were falling off the edge of teh water fall.... or bobbing in the river and stuff. Jean Luc had us all stand on the couch so we would feel even more "there." and he would bump us in parts where it seemed appropriate. My bf went in the kitchen and I went in after him. He seemed to have the same affliction of his sister and he started going a little nuts and was trying to stab me with porcelain knives and then about any one he could find. No one was coming in to help, but then this old black man did. I ran to get more help and then the black man came out and said everything was ok. He had punched him in the stomach which woke him up a bit. THen he came back out in the living room trying to be all normal again, but he gave me the creeps. Whew.. that's it.

real estate

I had a dream last night that I was being driven around to look at homes for sale. This one was supposed to be magnificent and somehow in my price range. I went to go look at it and it was in a nice old neighborhood, up off the street and old and beautiful. Then we went inside and the whole thing had been gutted and turned into some sort of spa but.... not in a pretty way. I was kind of disappointed and was looking to see if I could turn it back to its original condition. A business was still going on in there and so I was also thinking maybe I should just leave them there and rent it as before and hold on to the property. They were all talking about the biz owner there and how wonderful she was. Like she had a magical personality and was an excellent manager. I saw her and she was a bit hippy-esque. Sparkles on her cheeks, a bit of a bud-induced-grin and she was in a dreamy state cleaning all the glass surfaces. It seems that she was checked out but she was actually going with the flow and her gut on most of her decisions and not worring about a thing and that is how it all went so successfully.

Inner Outer

Ok.. before I went to bed last night, I was thinking about how sometimes with people I don't know well, I can knee-jerk into people pleasing mode. Not in a servant, what can I do for you - kind of way, but in a... I can see how they think, know what they like, put myself in their shoes... and so I put my opinions on hold and kinda see their way for a while. In doing this, no one really meets "me." That is not why I do it, but that is an unfortunate result of it, besides spending a lot of time not being me.

Soo... my first dream I was in the late 17th century (going by clothing etc.). I was not low society, but not high society... I could mingle with the higher ones, and was friends with the lower ones. It seems in this dream I left my lower ones and grabbed the hand of a man that I would meet only to gain social status. But when I walked with him and talked, he was wearing scrubs and he ended up being someone I was very close to. He said things to me that were things we used to talk about years ago. It really touched me to where I started crying (and it actually woke me up). It was the kind of thing that was so touching and sweet that it made you cry.

The next dream I was with all these actor types. We were at some fun park of sorts or resort. All of us were staying in hotel rooms. I was the "dork" of the group. I wasn't as pretty, thin, witty, etc. etc. I was reacting off everyone and so was bobbling around never quite feeling myself. Was kind of a miserable feeling. Trying to see what they might like or want and catering to it... while on the outside, being myself.

So these dreams were kind of photo-negatives... the first one - my actions where against who I was, but I was completely steady on the inside. The next dream - my actions were who I was (in the dream) keeping to myself etc... - but I was all a jumble trying to see where I fit - on the inside.

Hmmm....

rock house

First I had to be in the lobby to make sure people were greeted when they came in the building. This was a boring job. Then I saw this girl that worked for us (in real life, I went to first grade with her, then again in 6th grade - she wasn't a nice girl). In this dream she had a medical condition that made her stomach get big. Then I was at an outdoor ?? festival/concert of sorts, but it was at a strip mall and in the street. We were talking about concerts that we had been to lately, and I said I went to Joan Jet and the Blackhearts. Then I needed to drive in a truck somewhere and a guy in a skateboard showed up behind me holding on to the back of my truck. Ended up I knew him. He was someone I went to high school with. I saw him in my rear view mirror. We had instant chemistry, a very nice warm feeling. Then he got in the truck and wanted to show me something. So we drove kind of out in the country, but it was more like the desert hills. We drove up to this house and went inside, it was a different kind of house. It was built into the mountain and rock, so that the inside walls against the mountain side were actual rock. It was pretty. We made out a bit and then his mother and brother and little cousins (little girls about 2 and 3) showed up. We got up quickly to make it look like he was just showing me the house. The mom started talking to me about her son, and why did I ignore him when I was in high school. I told her he had a bad reputation etc. She was trying to get us together. Then I looked around the house and they had this christmas tree that looked a little scraggley. It was where the whole family would come to spend Christmas... that was it.

oil slick and shoes

I had a dream I dressed up as an oil?? well more like the rainbow colors of oil for Halloween. It was kinda pretty.

Had another dream that I moved into some sort of living situation where many people lived in one building. You had rooms, there was management, curviews, etc. My mom worked there but she and I no longer acted like relatives. The walls of the rooms were all movable (sliding) and kind of like rice paper, but a little stronger. She had moved this guy next to me who in real life liked me but turned kinda sour since I wouldn't date him. He was kind of a pain in the dream. Later my mom dropped off a pile of shoes (shoes I guess I had left at her home a long time ago). Some were pretty neat, but all of them were too small. Some kind of?? less than classy gal came by my room and wanted all my shoes. I knew they would fit her and not me, but something about her thinking she could just have them bugged me. At one point I was taking a shower and was still on shampoo mode when they turned off the water. I wasn't even able to rinse. ....

hopefully today goes better than my dreams

Foot Long Penne

I was getting ready to go on some trip. I know I needed to pack, but I had no clue what time my flight was the next morning (not very me). I had a ride.. gal from my last job. I was in the bathroom taking my last pre-trip shower. I felt something in my nose and it was some penne pasta sticking out.. took up the whole circumference of my right nostril. I pulled on it and it kept going and going. When it all came out, in one piece, it was about 1 foot long and covered in some cooked spinach (ack). Then I saw something in my eye. It was spinach again (this time fresh) and I kept pulling out lettuce leaves, enough to make a side salad. Was kinda nutty.

Then I was hanging out with this guy that was an ex-boss (and my best friend in highschool's bf). It was kind of magical. Not romantic so much, but we just could sit and talk and we got each other.

Sara Jessica Parker

Dreamt that I was either driving to NYC from the west coast or driving to the west coast from NYC. Sara Jessica Parker was my good friend and she was giving me all these going away gifts (perfumes, trinkets, clothes, etc.). I kept looking at my watch because it was getting towards noon and I didn't want to be driving so late.

---

Another dream. I was at my brother's house (but not really his house). He was having a couple friends (both girls) over for dinner and games. We were talking about who we knew in common.

Babysitting

Dreamt about a family gathering of sorts. I remember my dad, step-mom, his brother and sister, a field and organizing dates...

...

Had another dream where I was watching a friend of mine's dog (a little min-pin-mix that looks like a chunky chihuahua). The neighbor woman (I was on a 2nd level of a low-income apartment plex) was Mexican and a single mom who had a little girl about the age of 5. Her daughter was supposedly scared of the dog, but turns out she did it for attention. I ended up watching her daughter for a bit and she was fine with the dog when her mom left. I wanted to keep her busy so was going to have her watch a movie while she colored (what a way to promote ADD eh?). I had a video of the Parent Trap (the original version) or some Disney cartoons. I decided on the movie because I don't think I could handle all the signing on the toons. She wasn't interested in watching it but was happy with the coloring. I played with her hair a bit and was twisting it on top of her head. She had the kind of hair you find on cheap off-brand Barbies... Bangs with a lock of long hair just glued to the perimeter of the forhead. I said "I should probably put your hair down so your head doesn't get cold huh?" and she nodded. ;)

Victorian Days ...

I think it was in the Victorian days. It was summer and people were wearing white (men white suits or shirts and pants, women white dresses). I had a boyfriend although I don't think I saw his face. He was blondish. He was in college and finishing things. He also had a masseuse "permit" and he hadn't massaged enough clients so it expired. He was unhappy about that. We didn't get much time alone probably partly due to his schooling and partly due to not being married and our financial status. This day we were having a nice time kissing and he told he had rented a room in a nice inn in the country for us. I asked if we needed train tickets and he said that we would roller blade instead - it was only 5 hours! I asked if he was joking, but we kept on roller blading and then realized it was a place that was very close. It was a big white house with different rooms you could rent. You also had an insurance fee that made it expensive. They said though that now that the government was paying some expenses it would be less. We had a room on the top floor and it was tough to get up there. ...

Feeding baby

I had dream that involved a baby again... Hmmm I think it was someone elses. They were trying to get it to eat and it wouldn't, but I got it to eat all of its food. I broke apart a hamburger into little bits for it (hmm it seemed ok in the dream). Totally knocked him out after, so I could take him out, clean him up and put him to bed. I know there was a ton of other stuff going on. Another person there, guy trying on outfits. ummm???

Fairies

I had many dreams last night. Some were about some things/rules/procedures I had to follow and how my life would change if I just followed them.

One was I was part of this group that was supposed to set up this stage. One curtain needed to go up and they were looking for things to weight the other side of the rope with so they could lift the curtain up and down. I was kind of the mechanical person helping out. It seemed like it was my job.

I had other dreams that I was with this group of people. Almost like in a class. They were nice people and we had to do all kinds of things that stretched our comfort zones. First we were all sitting at tables waiting for the instructors. We were put into 2 teams and we were going to be on stage to answer questions like a game show sort of thing. I kept having to take gum out of my mouth that was stuck in there that filled my whole mouth. It was like I chewed the gum too much so that it was?? too soft so it was hard to keep together and take out. Was not fun. At one point people are trying to settle down, I felt good feelings about the people around me.. and they felt good feeling about me. It was a very nice feeling dream in that way. At one moment the game paused.. we were laughing and having jokes with one another. We were also all in costume. Then I walked over to these women while we were waiting. They were all chatting and then these tiny blue lights came flying in ... and I said "oh the fairies are here."..One woman - those aren't fairies! there isn't such a thing! Me and the other girl - have you ever seen one photographed? have you ever seen these "bugs" before? (she answered no). We were like.. - They are fairies! There was lots more that happened. Like people being there for each other in a kind and caring way and that sort of thing. Was a really nice experience if only in a dream. ;) Then I was walking along trying to remember the name of this guy they were talking about. I had gone to school with him. They said, the one that dressed up like Luke Skywalker in Highschool. I just couldn't think of his name. Then I saw some Mexican women and their little girl in the bushes. They came out and followed me back to the group. The little girl had a costume on that made her look like a little horse. Was cute and she was very happy about wearing it.

Oh had another dream that I was in this house with some friends. This guy from college was asking me to marry him. I was trying to avoid him asking me so I wouldn't have to say no to him. That was a strange one.

hmm big long dream

Had one dream where you picked out your hairstyle by different criteria. You could say.. I want business casual hair, curls and.. blah blah blah, then they would give you a list of hairstyles to choose from that fit that criteria.

Another was I was working. My brother started as a contractor for the company. He wasn't my boss but he had a higher position than me and was kinda ordering me around. Was ticking me off. I would more or less ignore him or explain why it was ok to do it as I was doing it. He wanted me to get orange juice for some people (temps). I said they are temps.. they dont' need OJ, they are here to work. (mind you in real life this guy from work wanted to come over today and bring mimosas... but I don't think he has work in mind). Then I was feeling funny anyway because I had no work to do, so I went back to my desk which was kind of in a cube but I had no ceiling so I was kind of outside. Then I was still working but at a hotel. I was talking to this girl from work about her and her boyfriend. SHe was saying how they broke up but he still comes by from time to time to do this or that (basically was using her when he wanted her around). She is such a sweet girl and really pretty. I was trying to give her advice on moving on from him. So partly we were in this hotel and partly in a townhouse she was sharing with another gf. Her exbf was a lot older too. Then I was "working" around the hotel. I felt like i was an event person and somewhat of an investigator. I went into the hot tub at one point and this gal had just done a summersalt in the air and landed in the hot tub. It was pretty amazing. She did a great job. She wouldn't take her clothes off that covered her swim suit though. Either would the other girl. Then I left out of the front of the hotel and my dad and step mom were there and they were going to help some old lady home. So we were trying to show her where to take her. I was like .... see that huge elvis statue that towers over the other building? That is where we are dropping you off. We ended up finding a shortcut where she just had to walk through a chainlink fence and a parkign lot to get where she needed to go. Then this dream melded into another dream that I was with this HUGE family. One of those ones that starts with 9 brothers and sisters, then they have 4 kids, and they have kids.. and so on. They were all going to one of the kids house (who was an adult now). His dad had some kind of cancer that ate away at his skin. I asked how he ws doing and he said his dad was good. He was keeping busy all the time doing things he just enjoyed doing. I was around sooo many of them, the totallypacked the house. Everyone kinda needed to use the bathroom, so the women were in one line and the men in another and we had to wait at the bottom of the stairs until the next person came out. The guy I had talked to earlier, this was his dad's house, but he was going to move into it. Each floor was set up like an entire house (kitchen and everything), so it was like he had his own place. I had brought bread for the evening and set it on the counter and some other edibles and then a ton of hand mits for the oven. :-s One was like a big sock. They were not too pretty.

Then I think I woke up.

cross country skiing and chocolate mint ice cream

ok.. first dreamt that I was with a group and we were going cross country skiing. This guy (who in reality was this metal's class instructor that I had - he was kinda good, but not very organized so his class was all over the place). Well, the ski class was all over the place too. It was taking forever for everyone to get all in their skis etc.. By the time everyone was ready and he knew where we were going, I looked down and one of my skis had broken. I could feel the tension in everyone thinking.. ok.. now we need to call someone, find a ski, get it fitted etc.etc... and I just said please go on without me. I was wanting to go skiing but at the same time, much preferred to be away from the disjointed group.

Then there was some dream where my extended family was around. My brother, dad and stepmom were there, but so was my dad's cousin (who I've maybe seen once in my life) some aunts and uncles, cousins I don't see normally etc. They were talking about me getting married to a cousin. I was like "He isn't my cousin! He is way down the family tree somewhere, but we don't even share the same bloodline!" Not sure who "he" is.. but. Mind you this was all in jest, they were just giving me a hard time. I think I needed to say what I said to convince myself more than them.

Then I remember riding a bicycle out of this suburban neighborhood (a very nice one). I was riding along feeling very out of place (the kind of out of place I feel around a bunch of corporate types, women w/ their business coifs, all put in that sort of package, personality and so on... while I've got my crazy curly hair, curvy body that doesn't quite fit right in a boxy blazer and mind set that really doesn't fit in the building). ok.. so riding down this hill outside of the neighborhoood. I didn't want to go too fast since I hadn't been on a bike in a while. I had the breaks on but it was still going kinda fast.. thenI stopped and was talking to this guy that worked on my floor (my job that just ended last week). We were flirty ?? I guess... or kinda seeing each other. We both fell asleep sorta on this bed. Then I had some chocolate mint icecream on the night stand. I wanted him to try it and then he finally did... umm and it was a little umm cozy as well.

That was about it.

pop quiz

Was in a class or something and the instructor told us to be ready for a pop quiz. He wanted us to state which of the things we have discussed are theory and which are law. I thought it was easy and went to a vending machine on break to buy some crackers. THen I couldn't figure out which # to push in and someone came behind me and pushed what they wanted and took it. THen I tried again and got my crackers. Everyone else in class was stressing over the quiz and were studying. I wanted to explain to them that it was simple etc., but then I figured they would just stress more. THis one gal was reading in her books. She had two books for the class when I only had the one. I said. well I'm sure you will do good etc..

Baby beaver, Allen Town...

Ok.. trying to remember my dream..still early..

Did wake up to "the cars" song "you might think."

Part of the dream a guy from work, Paul, was showing us pictures of him and his family going camping in NY. It was somewhere near Allen Town and he had a picture of some baby beaver they saved or something. Was kinda cute. We were at some function at a house. Like someone's birthday. Hmmm.... dunno

--

Kinda had a ? awake dream last night. Hmm trying to remember if I was awake or??
Last night I really did watch "darby O'gill and the little people." I hadn't seen it since I was a little kid (and when I was little, I loved it). So, I sat through the whole thing... and .. again I don't know if I dreamt this or did this, but I got up to go to the bathroom or something (not the important detail) and it was like I flash backed to my mind set as a kid. Not the.. oh can I go outside to play type thing, but more of... as if I had become an adult directly from that time, with no hurts, scars, tramas, etc... and how I would be without those experiences. It felt very stress free, light, feminine, enjoyable... Part of me felt like I missed my "edge." I'm not sure though if I missed it because I was scared to be without it... or was it really a better way to be. Hmmm

school and spiders

I know there is more to this dream but it hasn't all come back...

I remember it being dark out and driving into this parking lot. There was a man directing traffic into it and telling you where to park. It was an icky feeling for some reason... knowing what he was asking before you got there, reading his mind almost and knowing where he was going to tell you to park before he even did, then having to follow his orders. I parked and was going to park a little differently but had all eyes on me, so just parked. I got out of the car.. i was going to check this school out although under the guise that I was actually attending. At one point I went between some bushes. I'm not sure if was trying to hide or if I was just trying to avoid people. I went under one bush that sort of formed a canopy. I looked up and it was coated in spider webs. I took a deep breath so not to panick and then found a stick to wave all the webs and spiders away... then realized there was plastic sheeting under the bush's branches, so peeled that back so I could get out from under the bush web free. Hmmm... there is more and there were strong feelings from this dream that I didn't like so much... oh well. Got me up and out of bed to jog. ;)

Wormy veins, scrap book...??

OK.. a few odd dreams last night.

The first set are vague. I did dream about a guy from work that just asked me to coffee the other day. I usually don't dream about people I know, so that was interesting. He was just helping me with something, being very kind and polite (which doesn't seem like his personality in reality).

I had another one later (only remembering pieces). One part I had a little bump on my arm but it just felt weird. Like not just a mosquito bite but that it extended on the inside up my arm. So a scratched it a bit and it broke the sking. Then I saw a tube/vein, kind of like you find in your chicken sometimes that is kind of flat.. It was severed and I could look in it. Inside were tiny little worm like things (mind you they looked more like that hair rice pasta stuff). I pulled on them until they came completely out.. in doing that I found more.. and then more.. and then more... I kept pulling them all out of my arm wondering how I could have lived this long w/out knowing they were there, then wondering... ok.. in health class did we ever learn about this? am I taking something out that is supposed to be there? I thought and then couldn't recall it supposing to be there, so I kept on taking them out. Then I found a small octopus in my arm and took that out too. My dad and stepmom were there and I was telling them about it as they were going about their business. Then they were talking about this family that lived in a motorhome. It was this guy that wrote about it that was a comic strip writer. He, his wife and five kids all lived in this motor home and they were fine and "normal." I was trying to work out in my head how they could pace showers throughout the day with it not being a headache. The kids didn't attend school either, he home schooled them. Then I was looking for a plate to put a candle on. My friend Penny was in the dream and she said there was some china in a drawer in the dining room (not exactly what I wanted.. but). So I go to the drawer in the dining room and there were all kinds of fun things in there. There was a really neat scrapbook that I looked through with pictures, scraps of material, misc. things.. I found out later it was my brother's. My grandma was looking over my shoulder at them with me. Overall, nice feeling dreams.

Daniel Craig, killers and cleanse.. but not in that order

Ok, so doing this cleanse thing. Basically eating right for your ?? I would say origins, so food that agrees with your body. So for example, my ancestry is from the British Isles for the most part, so potatoes good, rice .. not as much. No alcohol, salt, pepper, sugar, etc etc. etc. I have to say I feel great (minus the first day I had a headache). In a good mood all the time, feel energetic and dropped 5.5 lbs in 4 days. Nice bonus. :D

Oh and 5 days left of work, then 24th leave for my trip...

Ok.. the dreams:


The first one some guy was coming to kill me. I don't remember much of that dream, but that I was suppose to put a certain label on some meat and go place it in New Season's... and he was going to follow me or something..??

Anyhoo.. but after that I had a Daniel Craig dream. We were looking for some bad guy so we run up to this old house and sneak in to the second story window.. (I'm assuming we climbed a ladder or something).

The room was all frilly, like a satin and chiffon bed cover that was white with blue bows and just.. fluffy pretty much everywhere in the room. So he goes "get on the bed" - woo woo you might think... but no. We both get on the bed and he starts moving so the bed squeaks so that someone from outside thinks we are having "fun." End up I find out we are in a brothel, so in order for no one to be suspicious of a room with the door closed, we had to make some noise. So he has me continue to tinker around in the room while he sneaks back out the window to go do some snooping. While I'm there I'm looking around. I see his shoes on the floor. I pick them up and look at the soles for some reason and they are really nifty. The main sole is bumpy and no clear edge would ever hit the ground so you couldn't trace his foot prints. Then there are cut outs with in the sole that you can pop out that have dog prints and raccoon prints. So he could pop those out and pin them on the outside of the sole to just show those kind of prints. Anyhoo... then I start looking around the room and the closet is full of more frilly clothes, boas, heels, etc.. then a woman/man comes in. I get the idea the brothel's main product is cross dressing ladies. He was kinda big and had dark brown ringlets (he must have been the one who decorated the room too :-s). I complimented him on his clothes to keep him occupied and then I don't remember the rest of the dream.

winds are changing

Ok.. if anyone has seen Mary Poppins you will get the reference. But it seems like everything is changing and not just for me. Out of my group of friends, one gal is moving to the east coast, anther is pregnant with twins, another is just starting a biz that I think will take her life in a new direction, two more had babies, and I'm ?? changing jobs again.

Before going to bed the other night I decided I might ask to dream something beneficial for me... like what should I be doing with my life next ... and not in symbols, or hints, or vague blurryness.. but I wanted a clear picture/scenario of what I should do...

So... I dreamt about baking cookies. huh... I was having a blast, was my own company, was making a batch for ? not sure an order or something, had some fun people in there with me and it was just really great. but..... I guess not what I expected. ;)

So if I truly took that at face value.. I guess I'd start a cookie biz.

If I took it at symbolic value... I would be producing something.. something tangible

If I took it as what I should be doing in my life.. start doing things that I enjoy for fun (which I really do enjoy baking.. like every part of it, even washing the pans in warm sudsy water at the end.

Maybe I'll start with that last idea.

Boats, picnics..?

Ok.. mid sun-salutations I remembered parts of my dream

it may be a bit mixed

but was at a function with lots of people my age (which in the dream was mid 20s). We were having a celebration of sorts... ? birthday, sprin time? something. Everyone was polite and nice... felt like I was more back in time a bit with men being dressed nice and so on. The group was touring this old building... well.. at first it was us all in row boats in this swampy area behind the home. It was pretty, weeping trees etc. but it was evening time. We were headed in a direction but then decided to stop at this house... we went up and it was very old, lots of old beautiful things... empty.. then it became a tour and it was some grand palace but more religious tones. We walked around and the guy I was with saw something.. an old wooden sculpture.. almost looked like sheild. It had a religious figure on the front and symbols. He put it under his coat to take. It had been in some place that we assumed no one knew it existed. I could feel some old man with a long white beard and cloak looking after us like he knew. So we went through the rest of the rooms with the othr folks and then went back to the boat and put the sculputer there mid tour. I said "don't you think someone will find it?" and he felt confident. I just didnt' want him to get into trouble. All the men were in light colored spring suits (like pale yellows, whites etc... it felt like the 20's I think). We went from there to?? i think a picnic on the hill. The hill was in the middle of a lake with nice trees and maybe a house. It was written that you could rent the place for a day (overnight) for $75. The whole island. We were going to do it but then didn't. I remember walking through a grass field to come back kind of behind the others. The feeling was a bit of...?? being away from everyone intentionally. Like ignored, but I made it that way. Getting back to the house I remember something about worrying about bringing mud into the house?

Then there was a skip and I went to a place where my dad was going to play. They had him set up in a separate room from where the dance floor was with only a doorway inbetween. He was upset because he knew the people wouldnt' get into dancing as much if he wasn't in the same room to kid with him. We (myself and my step mom) went to find seats at a table but some guy took most of the chairs.. we knew we wanted to face my dad (but at the moment we were facing the tv and watching some game). We got drinks etc... I had something in my hands? something to keep occupied with..

there is more but can't remember the rest.

Dolphins..

dream this morning... chair?? ugh.. just jumped out of my head.

Ok.. but woke up to an Olivia Newton John song.. "the promise" pretty song really and here are they lyrics:


The Promise (The Dolphin Song)
See them play in the moonlight
Watch them dance in the sun
They're the children of freedom - everyone

As they care for each other
With no question or cause
They deserve to be treasured as a source of love

In their minds there are answers
And in time we will know
What the truth is about all we don't know

They have no room for hatred
Though they've suffered much pain
From the race we call human - who are afraid of love

If I can only help to right a wrong
With my dolphin song
Then I'll have done what I set out to do
If I can only make one man aware
One person care
Then I'll have done what I promised you

Let us hope it's not too late
And that we can amend
All the pain we have suffered on a friend

We were born with our freedom
Oh we were born with the truth
Then why do we abuse it
We could choose - to love, to love

jog/sprint/job/travel/etc.

Ok.. so .. was up on the jog/sprinting and then have been flaking out.. :0s...

Realized it helps a TON if I wake up earlier than when I need to book out the door to sprint to be on time for work. So now.... just need to get my gluts out of bed. Now doing 3 sets of 13 flights of stairs a day, so that is good. Totally have dropped the ball on memorizing the pilates moves, not good. I need to get on it

Jobs.. let's see.. had two jobs that I was working on. A project job where I currently work.... or an analyst job somewhere else. The project job I found had already been offered to someone else, analyst job still up for grabs as far as I know and got a call from current company on another project job.

Project job - pros: $$, room to grow, high profile, busy, good team, can walk to work...
cons: high stress, don't want to be a PM now so why continue on this path, huge monster company with huge monster problems that includes a huge hairy red tape monster.

Analyst job - pros: small office (6 folks), cozy, black and white job so I can go home and still have a brain left, clear expectations, autonomy, no red tape, ..
cons: not as much $$, not sure about upwards mobility in a 6 person office ;)...

I think I have warm fuzzies for the analyst job.. I just need a break and also to feel like I accomplish something.. huge projects can be so messy and vague... crossing my fingers

Travel... will be going to isle of man in oct. :) very excited. Also might be going on an overnight sailing trip on the Pacific somewhere :D. Fun fun!!

Etc. ... need to start doing some hobby stuff.., painting, sculpting, sketching, draping.... might check in with my friend roberto.. artist fella.. and see if we can have some art dates.. where we both just sit and do stuff. Might be fun.

Also working on finances. I actually have a financial advisor now (woo wee... ).

Ummm guess that is it.

Next time I type, unless I have some great dreams, it will be updating on my new job and start date. ;)

Cruise ships, photoshop and pooches...

Ok.. vaguely remember my dreams from last night, but one of them was a good one.

One I was on some sort of cruise ship, but people lived on it?? felt more like a community than a vacation... My dad was there.. played more of a father figure type than he really is. I was introverted (go figure) and kind of avoided social gatherings.. At one point I was in a bathroom stall just to be alone. I sat there and thought if anyone asked me what I was doing, I'd say I was writing. :-s.. Anyhoo.. not sure exactly what was said, but something along the lines that my dad thought I should get out more, "be" with people and so on.

Hmmm remembering some rocky beachy part of a dream.. dark night, rocky coast... very pretty.. hmmm my friend the Tree guy was in it (but just had dinner with him last night .. so that makes sense).

Had a dream about my dog (which I don't have anymore). I saw her and my stomach instantly got tight.. like happens when you are stressed, avoiding something.. etc. With her it was. oh yeah, she is matted, dirty, I need to take care of her.. I can't do what I want because I have to take care of her. etc.etc.etc... then I sat down and played with her for a bit, rubbed her tummy and so on.. and I forgot how much I really enjoyed her. Then I thought.. if I just put more time and effort into her, I would enjoy her so much more.. instead of avoiding mainting her and spending time with her so that she becomes this dark cloud to me. (this was the good dream.. kind of an ah ha.. of how to treat everything in my life)

Then had another dream about photoshop. Took a pic of a business group. I needed to put them in front of their building so did it with photoshop. I was making adjustments and the people were b/w and the background was in color which didnt' look right. Then I put the background in color.. which didn't look right either... but then I thought. I'll punch up the people's color a wee bit, have the background be a wee bit dull.... and it worked and looked pretty great. Not enough for someone to notice.. just made you focus on the people more.

And that is about it.

Hmm...

Had another dream... was with my friend's husband (french guy/actor) and we were just going along with this other guy to run some errands. One was in an art gallery and I thought we were going to see some great art by some guy that starts with an A... we get to teh floor, an amazing space, all white and all of the art is stark and white-ish too. But these pieces were his architectural renderings... unique angles....

Then we left there to drive home and this car was kind of a mess.. it was an old beater.... He could hear his phone ringing but it was in the back seat somewhere... at one point this guy, surfer looking guy, totally cut us off... I saw the guy and once he noticed us he was totally sorry and didn't see us and tried to wave at us to say sorry.... I told french guy about his face and he made a guester back... like a..?? what one does when they taste good food and think it is perfect.

So I start going through stuff in the back seat to find the phone and it has my grandpa's jeans back there.. with all sorts of pockets and wallets, a light sensative remote??, keys... etc.etc.. then finally french guy's phone. Mind you my grandpa died a few years ago, but my grandpa's voice was "on" when I was going through his things and he was swearing a lot (which he didn't do)... Like that is that "f'n" remote I got, doesn't work worth damn .... and so on

Then we get "home" and french guy is cleaning the kitchen... and I can see things that he is doing although I'm in the living room.... is strange.. he puts something in the recycling bin.. and it is like I am seeing it from the bottom of the bin... Then there is this mirror (hmm again a mirror) and somethign kept going on in my mind that I was powerful... and that I knew I could do things once people were in the mirror. So I asked him jsut to put his hand on his chest... but ... he kept fidgeting .... so he then was showing me this tatoo he got .. or was in the midst of getting and it was his skeleton.. all over his body etc.. (just showed me the back)... then he went back to the kitchen to clean. I then tried to do things in the mirror and the worked.... like.. could see my own hand in the mirror.... but scratched it with "mind"... and it scratched my hand.

Had a dream before this was with a friend from work... she was working at a sandwich biz. I took a break from my job and went down to her biz chit chatting and stuff.... Someone from my work had been calling for a while I guess.. I needed to get back (had been gone 4 hours)... then she drove me back on a moped.... ?? something with my dad and stepmom being there...and packing ....hmmm

laundry shed and cowboys

Dream

I was doing laundry…
Forgot.. got up next morning to go check it. Was doing it in a little white shed outside my place..cute yet spooky….
I still needed to get my whites. I went inside to collect them and it felt like the shed moved.. but I thought I was imagining things.. then it was sliding down a slope.. I used my mind to move it back a bit… but then it slid again and fell over.. slid into the road and was upsidedown… neighbor kids were out.. and I was?? Not sure if embarrassed, but just got out and was going to “put things back”

Some feeling of my dad in the dream.. I think he was before all this. Oh.. was in a livingroom when he was leaving for a show or something…. There was a mirror/picture that was scary… when you looked in it you could see at certain angles a cowboy in it looking back at you… but looked ghostly… my grandma was in the livingroom and I think I was supposed to get her something to eat or something.. my dad said to ignore the mirror (as in don’t worry about it)… hmm like we were all leaving or preparing for something.

No dreams lately.... but new plans-ish

Ok.... so not going to east coast.. and I'm HAPPY about that. ;)

Also not moving... SUPER HAPPY about that too....

Some switched turned in me after I decided not to move.. and could nest. I'm happy about just about everything. Kinda nice ;)

So now trying some interval training stuff.... jog/sprint/jog/sprint.... It is kinda fun. Today is the first time I've done it with music which made it MUCH better. Also have decided to do it on the street instead of on the dark track. Kind of fun and exciting.. we'll see what it does. It has already made it MUCH easier to do the stairs (do 13 flights at a time and now I can do them fast w/out heavy breathing).

Next.. memorize all the Pilates moves..... ;)

ok.. was just checking in really ... so I guess I'll continue to pretend to work.. this will go until about Oct. 10. ;)

Italians and Aligators

Ok... just remembered some dreams and wanted to jot them down.

Had a dream I was going to this apartment. It was a new place for me to live temporarily or something. Not my kind of place. One of those huge apartment complexes in the burbs w/ lots of parking lots. Not horrible, just not my thing.

So on the way there... I run into this spot where the water is deep (dip in the road and water leak). And there just happens to be aligators there. I ride my bicycle through it and go to call the police for the water leak, the aligators (2 of them) and I think someone was hurt as well... Then I go riding back to town?? to a community house/coffee shop/gym type place. I see two guy friends there Ciro (friend of mine's husband/Italian) and Andrea (my exbf/Italian). They both give me a kiss hello, there are children around, it feels cozy yet chaotic, but nice, but not, but nice.... I had to get on to someplace else and I know I was all wet from riding in the rain. I left them and jogged in the rain.

Then some other dreams where?? I was on a construction site? or hmmm there was a feeling of getting prepared ... getting things set, etc...

And another where someone told me, if you say it outloud or to another person it will be stronger/have more of an affect. Also someone saying something like... take the image and make it smaller and you will be able to handle it better.

hmmm

Life Plan Update... well.. not so much a "plan"..

Ok...

Feeling a little bit empty and in need of a change.
Part of it might be that my friends are either getting married off, moving, etc.. so I don't get to see them so often. My brother might move away for 6 months at a time. My job isn't fulfilling. I live in an amazing beautiful state, but with a lot of people I don't totally connect with (Portland is clique city, lots of herbavores, blue collar hipsters, "artists," super green people etc.). I'm more of an open minded generalist... not too much in any direction, can appreciate other people, but don't force your ideas on me. And I'm single and I don't want to date a 40 year old that skateboards, a vegetarian that wants to live in a home with others to make his environmental footprint smaller, the blue collar hipsters that has his hair in a pompador, a dreadlocked patchouli smelling- tie-dye wearing guy, or the band member wannabe that works in a pizza parlor. Then there is the conservative extreme we have here too and I'm not that either.

Soooo I think what I'm missing is some close friend, family feel and maybe even some friends that have become grown ups. I appreciate an open mind-set, but none of my friends want to grow up. My brother has 3 x-boxes, my girlfriends do not want kids (not sure if it is to keep their physique or what), my guy friends are able to stick to the peter pan lifestyle and.. I guess I'm bored of this stage of life. Want something more.

Soooo (again)... thinking of moving to the east coast. I have some close friends there that are married, have a baby (my god son - super cutie), setting up their life. Would get to learn about a new area, meet new people (keep in touch with old), 8 hours closer to Europe, ... it just might be the ticket.

I'm applying for two jobs today.

I really should just do it. I could temp there in the mean time. ... Jump

Aliens, illegal aliens and the Beatles

Ok... couple crazy dreams..

***
Had a dream I was at Longbeach (but it was more of a cove with mountains on one side). I was sitting on the beach enjoying it with my brother and some friends and it was starting to get dusk. Then we saw one bolt of lightening that hit behind the mountains. We all thought it was cool and were looking for more, when we saw 3 lights from that same area shoot off in different directions. My brother thought it was space ships. Then we looked again and actually saw a craft of some sort. We started walking quickly towards town to get to our car or something to get a better look, and we ran into an old man that told us that the reason the government wasn't so strict with us about recycling, was because they were selling our garbage to the aliens. The aliens lived on a planet that didn't have natural resources (metals, minerals, etc.), so they would take ours. Which would be all fine and dandy, but for the fact we would at one point use up all of our natural resources and need to use these dump sites as places to mine for resources in the future. They took the old man away (they new what he was telling us). and then they took me on a hover craft mainly to scare me into being quiet. These were humans working for the aliens. They were dressed in suits with helmets. The one behind me took her helmet off and it was Madonna. ;) She was making wise-cracks etc. They took me up behind the mountain and there was a facility and workers etc. One woman was talking to herself and said.. I have Fish ***?? something.. like disorder or whatever. And what would happen is after you worked with their equipement/ the garbage/etc. a condition would happen where from about mid-thigh down the legs would get thinner and kind of bind together and then from mid-thigh up the body would retain lots of water and not old its shape, so it would be large and fatty. She was happy about this though, because it meant she could quit working..

weird
***
Next dream...
I was driving with my brother's roommate and we saw some cops taking people and hitting them etc. But they were not "good" cops (duh). They were a Mexican mafia of sorts and their enemies were black people and white people. They took me hostage with some black and white guys and they were possibly going to kill us a the end. We were in someone's house and they had little kids around etc. I was the only girl so they had me helping with their children. I woke up before everyone one morning and went outside. I could have made a run for it, but I was more likely going to get caught... felt that way. A neighbor saw me, a black man and I wanted to yell for help, but I could tell by his face he knew what was going on, and he knew it was best to be quiet. So I went back in the house. Later they let me go to a university (I think I was a professor there and I needed to be seen so they didn't suspect anything). But they were watching me. I saw the neighbor guy and nodded to him. I needed to know where it is that the house was and so I knew better how to get away next time, or to alert the police. We met in a classroom but had to separate quickly. Some woman posing as a student was following me. Anyhoo.. was interesting having the whites and black be minorities together.

***
Then I had a mini dream after where I was at a bbq, having some beers, I had bf of sorts and he kissed me on the shoulder and it was really nice.

***

Then I woke up to the Beatles song "Carry That Weight." I looked up the lyrics this morning (a lot of times lyrics have some connection on what is going on in my life at that moment). They lyrics didn't mean much, so I looked up the "meaning" of the lyrics. And found this:


"(this is part of a medley on Abbey Road) the I never give you..... couplets are about getting very close to a relationship with someone where there is a mutual feeling, but never managing to actually take the last step. the carry that weight bit is about having to deal with difficult things that dont go away quickly, but the idea of carrying them..."

"This is about how one feels toward having a second lover in their life when they already love someone. Having a second lover is a lot of weight and all the lyics follow how someone may feel about a that "side" woman... "

And now for the background... I have been showing my brother's roomie around and hanging out with h im for about 5 months. We hit it off immediatly as friends. It was kind of strange. Nothing romantic, but sometimes here and there.. maybe standing closer than normal for a lingering moment and so on... Key issue. He has a girlfriend. I have met her. My brother thinks they seem like an unhappy old couple. No arguing, but no talking either. But that isn't for me to think about, and either is he really. He leaves in a week... so.. anyhoo.. appropriate song.

dream of the night

started off with ?? dinner with a friend I used to work with. He is married and he was making moves on me which I didn't care for... So I moved to another table politely and acted as though I was falling asleep. He bought me a glass of wine before he left and I pretended to enjoy it. Icky feeling...

Then still in the restaurant, now house, it was my exbf's or his brother's or...? I was walking around and his brother's gf was there... I told her I was just there to drop something off or something like that... again, an uncomfortable feeling, like I was doing something I shouldn't be or some place I shouldn't be...

Then a blond, made-up gal comes in, and has a "I'm a snob" air about her... . She says "I'll give you solar?? sessions if you would buy this house." More of a "do me a favor dear... but I don't really mean it, because I know you won't buy it." She must have just come from some solar thing because she had these huge goggles on and was sweating a little around the forehead. The house at this point was a friend of mine's and his partner's and they were selling it. It still had some of their furniture in it here and there. It was a huge single story, multi level, lots of windows, modern-esque... lots of angles here and there to feel like the outside was inside... nice, but also foreboding, creepy, ... had an odd feel, like it was too much to handle, was nice and what everyone might want.. so you felt the urge to buy, but it wasn't what I wanted. I think the two sides of me were confused about that and why I felt what I felt etc.

Then my friend's dog was trying to get my attention so I would go somewhere.. it pulled me to an outside spot where there was a pond with kind of eerie frogs and lizards... no movement in the water and then I saw a baby chick and I took it out of the water. Then I woke up.

but I woke up to a voice in my ear saying "comment by atkins."

All left me with a creepy feeling this morning.

I kind of feel like it is a review of some of my life though. :-s Being, doing, having things that are not me just because it is the thing to do. Hard to break out sometimes to see what is you. Hmm...

_____

At work. Not motivated. Need to be.

Have an awards show to go to in LA. Got a dress this weekend etc. Not really looking all that forward to it.

My brother's roommate is going back to germany soon. Not looking forward to that either. We have a really good time, can read each other well. Was nice having him around.

ok... time to work.

cactus roses

ok.. not sure I spelled that right.. and don't care too much at the moment

have been busy busy lately... I got an extension on my job. That PM that sucked on the previous post? Well, she got canned and they gave me the project. :) Also there have been hints of creating a job "like what I'm doing"... and/or being the dept. manager. Nice for the ego, but not sure i want it.

I have done a handful of informational interviews and learned yet another thing about myself... I like project work, but short projects, and more of the concept end than anything. Not a big fan of being a task master. It is ok when everyone is as efficient, cares about getting things done, etc. as you, but when they are not, it just stresses me out. I don't know if I want that on a regular basis. Makes me feel better each time I learn something ... as well as realize that .. hmm if it stresses you out.. maybe you don't like that ?? Crazy how the mind works and well... more like how you have trained your mind to work. I'm sure it was helpful to talk myself into things at one point in my life but it sure was a mind $#@* for later when I can't even read simple signs.

anyhoo... had several dreams... one about me writing. I tell myself daily that I hate to write, but I think I just hate to write about things I don't care about. So anyway, I wrote this ?? piece, guess it was amazing and got a lot of attention.. mentioned something about a ? yellow rose?? and so people from all over the world were sending me these cactus plants that had yellow roses. My director was there and she said she had taken all the letters that came w/ the plants and had them filed. I wanted to see them, but they "owned" them now or something.

Her office was covered in shelves of Italian pottery and boxes of pasta. Strange.


Let see.. had another that involved traveling.. like was on a train, then a ship etc.. but wasn't sure where exactly I was supposed to go or if I was on the right train. (ok, that isn't a hard one to interpret). But met people on the way and it was nice and adventurous.

I'm at hurry up and wait again at work.

*sigh*

getting down to the wire

I have exactly five weeks left of incoming paychecks (not really work, because there isnt' much to do). That consultant has introduced me to some folks, so have been doing that... and tonight I have to have to have to have to rewrite my resume. Which for me for some reason is torture. I need to change that attitude though. It isn't rocket science so I don't know what my problem is.

Ok.. maybe part of it is I'm writing for something I'm not sure I want.. oh well

Oh and this is me procrastinating.

Let's see.... not sure if there is anything else exciting going on. Still meditating. Do about 2 hours total a day (split up). I think I am more patient, tolerant etc. So far it is a good thing and I enjoy it. I kind of feel high afterwards.... not that I would know what that felt like.... ahem.

We had a meeting today. The consultant gal was handing over a project to this new PM that she hired and the poor woman SUCKED! She has all the training/credentials and so on, but training does not a PM make. You either have that mind set or you don't. Which brings me to another grrrrrr topic. PMC (project management certification).... what a joke. I mean.. again, you either know how to project manage, have sought out tools or you don't. The PMI is make a ton of dough on this joke. It is basically a vocabulary book regarding PM and they take something very simple and make it as complicated as possible. PMs w/ the certification I'm sure want to keep it because it gives them a step up and more $$, but really, PMs are smart.. they should say something. It is not like them (at least the good ones) to be sheep. I don't get it.

Ok.. just did some more time wasting.. made some really bad coffee... tossed it cleaned the cup. Now making tea and haven't even openned up my resume. Maybe I'll put on that meditative music and focus. :-s

oh.. one more thing.. had a dream about the german fella (brother's roomie) and his gf. I dreamt that she was my friend and was telling me she was seeing someone else in germany that made her very happy and she wasnt' sure how to tell him. Then I saw him and was excited to see him and we just sat there and hugged. Very bizarre... Seemed very real.

ok... now I'll write.

levitation

ok.. had a really scary dream this morning. I was in my bed just as I was.. and was on a meditation high of sorts.. and my arms started levitating. At first it was kind of cool.. then I thought... maybe the rest of me could.. so I could feel it in my stomach.. getting lighter and then lifting but then it felt like someone was grabbing my arms.. but I couldn't see.. was so scary. So then I forced myself to "wake-up" in my dream... and I got out of bed and ran to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. I went to look in the mirror and I couldn't see my reflection. I was panicked and hit the mirror w/ my hand.. almost trying to make it work and it wouldn't.

Then I looked up again and I could see very dark brown hair (mine is dishwater) and was almost scared to see the face, but then it was mine.

Oy! what a scary dream.

Then that went into being at some function.. trying to find my step mom and dad. They were there.. then my aunt was there w/ her daughter, daughter's husband and kids. My aunt had made them all matching clothes.. fushia and turquoise sating dresses w/ ruffles and lace (:-s) and then matching shirts for the boys and they had lace ruffles a the bottom of their pants. They seemed fine with it. I remember feeling somewhat lost or out of place... then I woke up.

~~~~
And some nice news...

Was in a meeting w/ company biz consultants - they are working on cleaning up a process in our dept. At the end the gal asks me to stay after then says that she doesn't usually do this but she has a good feel for people and she thinks I"m quick, smart etc.. and wants me to work in her dept. and/or somewhere better.. even if it isn't w/ the company. :) Made my day. ;)

Oy...

Ok.. been doing all these great exercises.. can "feel" the difference.. but I think the beers, chocolate etc. every night w/ brother's roommate are not helping the "seeing" the difference part. Will experiment this week w/ no beer (or maybe one light beer).

I'm exhausted.. not due to exercise, not due to lack of sleep.. I think due to speaking English to someone who doesn't know it so well. Oy... didn't realize how much effort it took to speak very simply and/or having to explain lots of vocabulary. Yesterday I think I was tanked out... couldn't even talk. Then last night couldn't sleep so much...

Today I should really try to focus on work. Like real work.. well... I have some things on my plate now that they officemate is gone.. but it was really her deal... her expertise .. not mine... will take me 4 times as long to due since I know nothing on the subject and will have to not only learn it... but then write it ... with not being an expert.. hmmmm..... I guess I don't see it as the best use of my time.. ;) Would rather rewrite my resume and apply for jobs. ;)

OK... either way I guess I better get to something.

Oh.. and been having lots of dreams .. umm ?? "physically romantic" ahem.. dreams.. ok.. not the full deal or anything.. just of lot of innuendo/intent. I usually don't have those dreams.. it is a little disturbing. In love dreams... good... just ?? odd situations .. no so much.

Meditation, DVD stuff.. neat neat

Ok.. was doing these exercises from this dvd.. I exercise and jog etc. in general, but these were different and I wanted to check it out. Had to do with kind of moving around your insides, stimulating glands etc. (love trying out new exercises).... So.. after only 11 days.. and 15 mintues a day.. lost 11 inches (measuring calves, thighs, waist, etc.) And on top of that.. haven't lost an ounce. So pretty interesting. I usually bulk up w/ exercises, so this was a nice change.

Now I'm trying the 60 minute workout by the same person... I'll have to report back on that after about 30 days or so. I just measured though again after doing it for 2 days and I have lost a total of 5 inches in my waistline alone. Nice

Also, been reading about brainwaves and meditation and so on and am checking out this meditation cd w/ sounds.. Have only tried it twice so far (not supposed to do more than once a day) and so far it does put me in a pretty good state. I'll give more feedback on that one too in about 30 days. ;)

I've been showing around my brother's roommate lately. (my brother is out of town and his roommate is visiting the U.S. for only 6 months - he is an inturn & German). I find myself coming home and speaking in an accent in my head. ;) Kind ov fun, don't ewe sink?

Rescue Blue

Had a dream I was a spy or something.. or worked w/ some sort of agency. I was in an airplane and we were scouting for where our people were. We were in England or something. Very green, village-y. My dad was supposed to parachute out and I was trying to show him that where he was parachuting was a trap. The people were all dead. He jumped though because he didn't understand what I was saying. So I landed and then was going to get a car or something so I could go rescue him. I was in a house looking for keys or something when one of the bad guys was in there. So I ran out to the neighbors and hid.. The old man there was helping me and helped hide me. I called my dad to tell him he was in a trap and I was coming as soon as I could.

Another dream type thing I was in a store with my boss. We were getting supplies of some sort. Again I was in a foreign country, this time Germany I think. I was shopping around and then ran in to Mariena. My ex-bf's brother's gf. She was with her brother. Before I ran into her the word "blue" came into my head and something told me it was important.. then she came around the corner and she had her hair died black with strips of blue. She was there to get a job in a club. Not sure if she was bartending, singing or what. Then that was the end of it.

mind is spinning

been reading some good stuff lately. I can't stop reading... first started reading two books w/ similarities.. that both had activities... then reading another two books that also have activities.

It has kept me awake and focussed at work. ;)

Been doing these actual physical exercises lately too that have changed how my body works?? kinda sounds strange, but I'll give more details as it goes... we'll see what happens. Kind of fun. :)

I'll report back on this stuff when more happens I guess.

Not sure what my dream was last night.. but yesterday woke up to Olivia Newton John's song.. We have to believe we are magic.... followed by kajagoogoo's Too shy... hmmm

dreams painting and happy

moving paintings around for a painting exhibtion

guy/dad like figure was saying "paint , be creative.. paint down what ever comes up in your mind..."

so at the same time.. he was painting an apple.... and the guy right next to him was painting a very similar picture w/ a diff medium (chalk on suran wrap)..The older guy looked over then crumpled up his apple painting.

then there were parts about this art person.... him visiting - not a good feeling
another blip of a radio saying.. "check to see if he knew her number before.. blah blah blah"
this girl there saying thank you to me for being a good friend
moving around "pin" boards to place the art on
I was organizing... everyone else was painting
-----
separate dream

this older man came up to be and said.. "I see you are having trouble with this idea (the idea being doing things for me), unless you are happy, you never reach full peace... and peace is the energy/vibes that you want to spread, so do what it takes to be happy"

trains, planes and zombies...

Ok.. this weekend I had a zombie dream... was with some friends, some people I didn't know.. all staying in a house in a warm place like southern california. Half of the people left because they knew the zombies were coming, and I stayed there with a guy (older, chubby, teddy bear type) and 3 little kids. We locked all the doors and sat there and played card games and kept the kids quiet. The zombies were constantly banging on the front door and this red ooze was coming through it. I went to the kitchen and was about to look out side to see how bad it was and he said "NO, don't look outside whatever you do" as soon as they see you these locks won't hold... etc. They are just mindlessly banging right now.

Then last night I had a dream I was on a train trip with some friends. Terry (this gal that lives near me) was in the back reading (I had just seen her that yesterday reading in the courtyard). She said.. oh.. are n't you supposed to jump off here? Everyone else had gotten off but me. The train started going and she was wearing my shoes.. I was trying to get them back and then it was too late to jump. I ended up getting off in the next town (and it was like we were in northern south america or something). There wasn't much in the next town. I got off and tried to find them. I stopped at a merchant to ask where I could look around, he pointed towards the town which looked pretty picturesque. Didn't mind if I didn't find them. Then this man was trying on shoes, they had the same green pattern on them that mine did.. and I mentioned it... that was about it.. oh... but there was some kid zombie in this one .. just walking down the street... I would just avert my eyes.

Japanese, Trams, ice skating

Let's see... didn't sleep a whole lot last night but dreamt a lot

I remember one where I was with this japanese kid and his dad. The kid and an icecream and I was trying to show him how to eat it so it wouldn't drip all over. .. He thought it best that we both eat it. Then they were gone and it was getting late and I wasn't sure where to go. I remembered the man saying "if you ever get lost, take tram 4" ... or something like that. So I took tram 4, got off on the platfrom. There were empty benches and one w/ about 4-5 Japanese young guys. I was a little nervous walking by them, but one of them recognized me and told the others to leave me alone (in Japanese, so I guess I just knew he said that).

Next one I was either in school or involved in some sort of club, school, group. We were all just arriving and meeting people and were supposed to find a skating partner. I ended up with some guy. In my dream I was a really good skater.. was really fun. I know there was more to this dream. Can't remember at the moment.

New Stuff

Taking a metals ?? class. Spent last night sawing metal and learning about saudering.. fun fun.

Signing up for a class re: metal clay.

Moved to another floor at work.

All crazy makers kind of have disolved out of my life magically.

My friends Annie and Tom had their baby! :D

Friend Penny bought a home.

That is about it for now. ;)