duck tiger

I dreamt that  I was on a boat... I think I lived on it. There was a window at one end and I opened it. I was living on a river and I noticed a tiger swimming under water and a duck was standing on its back as it swam. I thought how crazy and cool and where am I that there are tigers in the river?? Then one tiger noticed my open window. It came close and at first I thought neat... but then it seemed like it was going to crawl through and I thought not so neat. I tried to shooo it away and it wasn't scared. I finally tried closing the window and it must of worked. Definitely a feeling of curiosity followed by fear.

Then I noticed the boat moving... someone had detached it from the dock. I wasn't sure how to operate it yet. I was floating down the river to who knows where. Then I thought it must have a motor or some sort of way to control the movement. I found the motor in the back and started steering. Then it was open and free of the house part. It was better and I felt better. 

dionysus

I dreamt I was holding a baby. Was it mine? someone else's? not sure. But I though it was beautiful and I was proud. Then the baby was a young man.  He had curly hair. I told him, "We need to find a name for you."   He liked ships and pirates so we started looking in old sailing books and then just old books. He looked on a page and said "Dionysus, I like that name." So he became Dionysus.

We were on a boat planning on a destination. It was too a big city or village that I had known would offer him variety and potential. We were sailing along enjoying ourselves when the watery path came to a fork. The boats were in two now and he was heading down one way, an unknown path to me and my boat was still at the head of the fork. I looked at him and with concern as if to ask.. should I be going with you?"

He looked back at me with a face that said.... I'm excited ... it is ok.

woke up to this son in my head - Shenandoah

alec and andrew

I dreamt that I had two new bosses. Alec Baldwin was the head of the company. He seemed even keel and professional. He looked out for his employees as well as his pocketbook. His next man in command was an Andrew Dice Clay type. Not someone you would trust with your daughter, but at the same time, he would look out for anyone he was connected with. I had mixed feelings around him for this reason. I knew he would take care of me... it was almost a warm feeling. But I also know he would take advantage of me if he got the chance.

farm

I dreamt I was with RC. He lived in empty vacant houses.  We were cozy together. Another girl tried to get his attention, but he wasn't interested. He really wasn't interested in being with anyone, but I didn't require anything.

Then I dreamt of GV, great feeling of friendship.

Then I dreamt of RB. I saw him and said.. "you've moved back!" I was happy to see him. He asked if I would like to buy a winery or farm with him. I was about to tell him of some property I was thinking of buying... but then realized, he hadn't really moved back, but he was going to move somewhere new. I liked the idea and decided to go with him.  We stayed at an inbetween place before getting to the farm. It had the feel of an old western town, simple. He, myself and his niece all slept in the same room. It was nice and peaceful. It was wonderful.

fat seal

I dreamt that I was at a bar with FE. There were picnic tables, a goat, people smoking. C&SK showed up. Then JS showed up. A group of guys needed chairs. They seemed like they were from some local sports team. The place was filled with bar flies.  One older crack lady was showing me her bruises. She had wet her pants.  The roof of the place started leaking.. it seemed it was more of a shed than an actual building. One of guys asked who I was. I introduced myself and FE.  Realizing SK already knew him. JS saw a puppet on a wall and went after it.

I asked a red head if he knew MM, he didn't but I said that he would look.  First looked at his phone because he had to do some buddy exercise. One was called mosquito where you clicked heels together. He had to tape what he did to send back to his buddy.  It looked like a difficult move and funny. Then a video came up of MM. He was bearded and D, his best friend. They were playing hockey? No, maybe it was luge, and with the red head. So he did know him. 

Later I woke up with a guy. I was worried, but then realized that I was fully dressed.  We were at a luge track. A drone was above taking a video of it. It was grassy and muddy. I saw MM and said "oh this is an Oregon luge."  

I walked the old crack lady to her home.  She asked some man for a writing piece. I guess she helped addicts. The man had taken his last pay and bought drugs. She asked him "Where is my article?!" He said it was coming and she went on about how she could pay someone else for this instead, trying to give him tough love. She asked what he did with his last pay and he lied. She kicked him out and he was on the corner between a building and a dumpster. His eyes got wide. He was going through withdrawal and needed a fix, sweating and fidgety. Then his eyes got bigger. Was he high? No, more like that he was in some trance. Like he was now under control of this thing. As his eyes became larger, they turned black. He dropped to the ground, his body bloated, arms shrunk and he flopped down. Looking like a fat seal. Noticing the feel of cement, that there was a puddle near by he wanted to roll in to feel. And to just sit and experience. It was sad but not. He was helpless to the drug, but not as miserable as it would appear to an outsider. 

Woke up to this song in my head - Welcome Back

Welcome back
Your dreams were your ticket out
Welcome back
To that same old place that you laughed about

Well the names have all changed since you hung around
But those dreams have remained and they've turned around
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya
(Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)

Yeah. we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back

Welcome back
We always could spot a friend
Welcome back
And I smile when I think how you must have been

And I know what a scene you were learning in
Was there something that made you come back again
And what could ever lead ya
(What could ever lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)

Yeah, we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back

And I know what a scene you were learning in
Was there something that made you come back again
And what could ever lead ya
(What could ever lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)

Yeah. we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back

Yeah. we tease him a lot
Welcome back, welcome back
'Cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back, welcome back

Yeah. we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

woke up to Roll Out The Barrel in my head

Roll Out The Barrel

(Beer Barrel Polka)

There's a garden, what a garden,
Only happy faces bloom there,
And there's never any room there,
For a worry or a gloom there
Oh there's music and there's dancing,
And a lot of sweet romancing
When they play the polka
They all get in the swing

Every time they hear that oom-pa-pa,
Everybody feels so tra-la-la
They want to throw their cares away,
They all go lah-de-ah-de-ay
Then they hear a rumble on the floor,
It's the big surprise they're waiting for
And all the couples form a ring,
For miles around you'll hear them sing...

Roll out the barrel,
We'll have a barrel of fun
Roll out the barrel,
We've got the blues on the run
Zing boom tararrel,
Ring out a song of good cheer
Now's the time to roll the barrel,
For the gang's all here

checkout

I dreamt that I was at the store buying odds n ends. I decided to go through the do it yourself checkout line. I was feeling bumbly and dropped something, then continued and was less than graceful about the whole thing. People in line were waiting, which made it a little more awkward. I then took out my card to pay but first I didn't recognize which card to use. Was I on something? I felt out of it and in control of not one part of my body or brain. I finally found the right card the first swipe didn't work. Then I noticed the screen went back to a home screen when my hand brushed it. Great, now I have to re-scan everything, I thought. But then I just tried my card again just in case and it went through, and it did. And I wanted to go right what ever was wrong with myself.

woke up to this song in my head Wish You Were Here

"Wish You Were Here"

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

meditation

I dreamt that I was meditating... there was music... a bit native american-esque. First I was irritated. I didn't like the music or the visions I was getting... I was on dry cracked dirt, dry crackling trees, dry grass.... then I started feeling it... I was in space or the stars or whatever you like to call that area where you can float around. I was slowly spinning in the sky. It was ok for a bit until I started thinking about what a star really was... a rock... and then I was on a rock in space and the fun ended. I tried again... then Robert Downy Jr. showed up.. he was trying to teach me how to float fly... to not effort... To not just float, but not try to fly. It was a pure letting go and just enjoying the experience without concerning myself with direction, goals, how am I doing this?  Then a friend showed up, DH. He floated to me and we were forehead to forehead. And zoom... I was beyond beyond. I felt high and amazing and like I was on some happy gas from the dentist's office. This lasted a while until he was gone and so was I. I just felt good.... no body.... just good.

dusk

I dreamt that I went outside at dusk. It was like I entered a world that humans normally don't get to see. There were a bunch of lilies growing and the flowers and the leaves were bio-luminescent. Then two white owls flew down on the grass to hang out for the evening and there were humming birds darting in and out of the trees singing.  It was beautiful.

bike

I dreamt that I was living closer to the activity in the city, but the hippy side. I rode my bike to get around and it was nice and freeing. I happened to have some things I wanted to drop by a gal that I had just met. It was early in the morning before work, so I threw on a skirt and tshirt, my hair still wet. I had cookies and ?? I guess something else she was interested in, as we had talked about opening a biz. I had realized I had thought about the same biz long ago and brought by my info. I met her roommate as well who was a gal I worked with years ago, K an editor. She was very nice and vaguely remembered me, but just enough to spark her memory.

I had to get going as I still needed to get ready for work. I rode my bike down a grassy path and parents were biking their kids to school. I felt happily expectant of good things to come.

missed bus

I dreamt that I was with a crew of people. We were in the woods and near some caves that had been discovered and we would be some of the first people to see them. I was very excited as I loved this sort of thing. We were going to go on two separate buses at different times to not over crowd the area.   I was supposed to go on the first bus. I had been ready and everyone else was running around getting their things. I went to go use the bathroom which was kind of in a half open space on a vehicle. It was a little odd sitting while people, men and woman, could sit and chat with you and see your face. JLittle and JimmyK were talking to me, not meaning to be rude. I hinted that it was a little difficult to proceed with them there and they left me alone. I was done and popped outside as I saw my bus leave. I was upset and vocally so. The first bus was also going to perform some sort of ritual. It wasn't weird or crazy, but for those that didn't understand it, it seemed so. I was probably someone that was the most interested in this part and was going to miss this opportunity. The driver of the 2nd bus, JK (MT's stepdad). He was flippant about it and obviously was clueless, or I would have been mad at his reaction.  I got on the second bus and we were on our way. As we pulled up, I saw the first crew leave the cave and I sort of let it go. 

glowing

I dreamt that I was at some hotel or destination place. I was on some large patio/balcony and it was evening. I looked over the edge of the railing and there was a tiger, its cub and a golden lab pup. They looked as though they needed help and I tried to help them get onto the patio. It seemed to have worked but then I had others around me. They all had an opinion of if it was a good idea that I helped them, or how I helped them. I just threw up my hands... I did what I felt was best with what I knew at the moment. I walked away.

Then I was in a room with a man that was very blond, like naturally white blond and his skin was about the same color. He was almost glowing. His clothing was light as well. He seemed preoccupied with something. He was pacing back and forth seeming to do something while you could almost feel his mind working. It was a peaceful mind though. His desires were bringing about good feeling. It was smooth unfolding, not harried. Then I realized it was CG, a boy I had gone to school with. I think I had not noticed him and appreciated him until now.

Then I left because I had some things to do myself. I went out to a black truck and I guess I had to get it to another area of the building as and something else that I couldn't remember. I was in the backseat of the car and had to drive it from there backwards. It was awkward, but I had no doubts that I could do it... just might hit something here and there. 

carving life

I dreamt I was watching over kids of a family. It was a large home in the country. They all seemed different some how. They were all blond, very bonded, maybe I was different.  I went upstairs to check out the place. The family would carve the names of the children into the vaulted walls when they were born. It was very ornate and they carved decorations around them. It was kind of beautiful.  There were carvings all continuing around it denoting their life.  RVB showed up and I was showing him the carvings. He kissed me and we were starting to get intimate and then noticed all of the children had been hiding up there. We quickly got up and followed them to what we thought was their meal time, but then there were many many children and teens and young adults. They were all there at long tables outside. It felt more like a camp, a hidden camp. There were going to be some activities, like musical chairs and drawing contests. It seemed like a fun time for them, but I felt a bit confused. I walked by some chaos at the musical chairs and by then had lost RVB. I went to go get my art supplies case and decided to join in on the drawing contest. I couldn't find it. I looked and looked and then saw that someone had taken it all apart. They were willing to give it back to me, but I didn't want it now. Have of the pieces were broken and it was a mess. 

white cane

I dreamt that I was on the bus or train to the city. My friend JWM just happened to be there too. When he noticed me he came behind me and gave me a hug and a kiss and he was happy and on his way. I had a destination as well. I was walking with a can. It was modern looking white with silver and a wheel on the end. I didn't mind having it with me although I don't think I needed it. I was walking swiftly through the city, cool breeze on my face, down stairs and across streets. Then I realized I was going to be walking around a more hilly area and there was a new escalator, all white and clear parts. You would swing under this bar, slide down at an angle, almost standing and the thing would shoot down the hill and then tilt you back up at the bottom to easily walk forward. I think I had reached my destination. I was in a room with a large half circle sofa and others were showing up. Some felt like that took up more social space than I did. My aunt IV and other family types showed up and then I started looking at my things. I had my suitcase and the coat that had been thrown over my arm, but where was my cane? I hadn't remembered setting it down or letting go of it at all. It should be here. I panicked as I thought someone for sure would want it. I went back to the escalator and nothing was there and then I thought about backtracking. I saw that there was a container with other cane type things at the bottom of the escalator. Was that for people to use, or was that where we leave them and move on?

alien ship

I dreamt that I was outside in the evening in what seemed like a perfectly groomed yard. Life felt sort of perfect... I was lack of any worry. I looked up and had to blink twice. There was a massive space ship moving across the sky. It was flat with many lines and squares in patterns all over its underbelly. I was glad it was passing quietly. I thought... my friend SK sure would like to be here. I looked back up at it and concentrated on it thinking I could get its attention. Then a warm beam of light came and locked on me and I slowly lifted up in the air. I was oddly calm, as this is the last thing I would normally want to happen.  Once inside I was greeted by normal young women. They were all polite and sweet, almost naive seeming. They had all once been on earth or some other planet like myself and were eager to get to know me and make me feel at home. I was in a sort of holding room that until certain things were attended to and I would be welcome in the rest of the ship. They girls seemed a bit stepford-wifey. Their innocence and naivete seeming selves were more like they were knowledgeable but with neutrality. Like they were cleansed of something of themselves so that what was left was just facts and curiosity.

rocky tread

I dreamt that I was getting on to a treadmill, but it was quite large. It was about the width of a lane of traffic and tilted up into darkness. Basically a small structure was built around it and you couldn't see the ceiling of it or the end of the treadmill... or what was coming next. When it was on, it started out like a normal treadmill, smooth black that you walk or jog on. Then a gray cube was on one side, then another on the left, spaced out and easily avoided, but as it went, the tread became more of an obstacle course and you had to jump, leap and climb around the objects coming towards you. I was worried that if I fell, I would get scraped up, but I found that the "rocks" were a dark charcoal foam that although sturdy, had some give. I was moving along doing well, then two guys from high school were behind me. They were very athletic and very tall. At first I was concerned, but they were both there to guide me and help me improve my agility and strength. It was enjoyable and I was looking forward to what might be next.

focus

I dreamt that a man tossed me a chocolate. It hit the floor and slid past me and hit a wall, then another wall and then out the door to the lobby..  I followed it with a knowing that I'm supposed to be out there for some reason., fate or something.  I went out to pick it up and I ran into some salty haired guy going on about acting, his acting ,his voice, etc. etc.

I come back into the room, wanting to roll my eyes, telling my com padres about how actors can be so .... and make a face. Then I immediately feel bad. It wasn't a nice thing to say, and besides, why think of something I don't like and start noticing more of it... Then I went to the sofa in the room we were in. There were windows to a hallway that led to conference rooms. A line of actors were inline waiting for a workshop. I let go a bit and took a deep breath.. look how quickly that worked... I thought of actors and there were 20 more. Focusing it into reality... I'm feeling lucky, good... Now let's focus on something fun, I thought.

nose

I dreamt that a man was walking to a shop, a little old fashioned shop.  It almost seemed like an older time as well.  This man had a long nose, well more like it would grow, like Pinocchio, but then it would shrink back to normal. I thought maybe he was thinking untruthful thoughts and when he stopped, his nose would return to normal, but then his nose grew out into the shape of a fish... then back, then a bulb, then back. He certainly had a problem.

He walked into the shop and headed straight for the counter where there was a small stand holding a card and a basket of more cards in front of it. The card had a a blue line drawing of a basket and if you pulled on a paper tag it would move as if something was going to fall in it, abundance, something good ...

The man had heard of another man that had used this card and his wish came true. He wanted to make a wish. The story went that you would definitely get something from the card, but you wouldn't be guaranteed your wish, so it was a risk. This man was full of anxiety and fear as he chose his card. It was another white card but this time it had a black shiny figure on it who also had a long nose with a bulb at the end. He eagerly pulled the tab ... and nothing happened. Mind you his nose wasn't in some odd shape, but he didn't feel any different. Then out popped a life size version of the black shiny figure with the long nose. The man fell back and was startled and then realized he needed to run. The black figure was after him, batting at him with his nose as he ran.

joke store

I dreamt that I went to a place for meditation.  There was a lady that was leading us and she was looking at me as though the message was mainly for me.  I could tell many were newbies at this. She had us all lay on the ground, then we had to move towards the back of the room and together for some reason. That put me on the floor under someone in a bunk. I was going to just make do, but instead I asked everyone to move and the woman looked at everyone like they must...again that this was for me. She had us watch an old film of someone meditating to show us how it was done and had been done for years. The person on the film was laying on a bed. We could only see the legs and feet through a doorway. The room was dark and there was a soft blue glow of light reflection of the person's white clothing. We couldn't hear anything, but then we saw the body levitate.

I left from there with a group I came with. The instructor led us to a bar. We tasted wine and she instructed again on what foods to try and so on. Again it seemed like she was focused and helping me, observing and making sure my needs were being met. The place became crowded like the meditation studio and I wanted to space, so I walked over to bar seating. It was an odd sitting arrangement, but there was more space and I was right next to some food and wine.

The group left this place and we walked over to a joke store and walked in. I walked around looking and the odd items. It seems I was on a sort of bachelorette night now. Three of us decided to fill out applications for clerk positions at the store. I think we did it as a ruse, as we were there on vacation.

We left the store to go find the rest of the group at the bar,

I turned and went back into the joke store for something, Maybe to do something?
I walked around and had a conversation in my head as if I was in there with a religious conservative man from other country.

Man - "What is this store?"

Me - "Just an adult joke store."

Man - "An adult store?"  horrified of the thought that it was a sex store.

Me - "Nooo, a joke store that is just adult in nature."

Man - "But I think I saw an adult "toy.""

Me - "Sure, there may be some adult toys here, but it isn't that kind of store..."

[End of conversation in my head.]

I walked to the exit and the clerk looked at me as if I was there to steal something. I told him that my friends and I had just been in here and applied for jobs. Then a larger lesbian lady behind the counter said, "Oh you forgot your phone number on the application."  I think that she was just trying to get my number. I quickly wrote my number down as I felt is was my ticket to innocence. I accidentally, but thankfully transposed my numbers.

I went out to join the rest of the girls. It seems the guest of honor, the bride to be, was a blond gal. She and a few others were in line to get into this popular club. The line went down stone stairs and around the block. The bride said "Ya know.. I don't really want to go to this club."  She looked a bit tired and wanted to just relax.  I was relieved as I had been dressed in khaki shorts and a big t shirt. I felt like I was in man clothes and wanted to change. I said "Sounds great, How about we go somewhere smaller, get appetizers, since we each haven't eaten yet. I just wanted to buy time to go get changed. 

woke up to this song in my head - From Eden

"From Eden"

Babe, there's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

Babe, there's something lonesome about you
Something so wholesome about you
Get closer to me

No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony
No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Babe, there's something wretched about this
Something so precious about this

[Live version inclusion:
Where to begin

Babe, there's something broken about this
But I might be hoping about this.]

Oh, what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me
A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door

underwater fate

I dreamt that I was being "condemned."  In parenthesis because I'm not sure if it was condemnation from something I had done or it was something that just was inevitable  ...

An old weathered man in a gown was holding a staff spitting out words of my fate.  I would have to jump off the cliff that to my back. The part of the cliff I was standing on had red and ice blue posts that would light up with either fire or beams of cold. I couldn't walk left or right, just forward between the posts or I might get burned or frozen, although one of those options was going to be my end either way.  I didn't look for an escape because it had to be and I knew it.

Was I to jump into boiling water of fire or the frozen option?  It looks like it would be freezing to death, I could handle that I thought, not the worst way to go.  I looked over the edge and there was a mermaid emerging out of the water... I looked at her face and she seemed to be beckoning me with a pleasant welcoming look. I thought I had better just do this, so I jumped and plunged beneath the water... I could feel the icy cold and see a bit through the greenish water. I saw my hand and wanted to see how it would freeze.  I noticed I wasn't floating up to the top and I heard the mermaid say to breath in. Was I to die by drowning instead of being frozen solid? I breathed in and found that I could breath the water, I was swimming and not freezing.  But I still wasn't coming to the top, this was my world now.

woke up to this song in my head - Happy Talk

Happy Talk

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the moon floatin' in the sky
Lookin' at a lily on the lake;
Talk about a bird learnin' how to fly.
Makin' all the music he can make.

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the sparrow lookin' like a toy
Pickin' through the broaches of a tree;
Talk about the girl, talk about the boy
Countin' all the ripples on the sea.

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the boy sayin' to the girl:
"Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cause."
Talk about the girl sayin' to the boy:
"You an' me is lucky to be us!"

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

If you don't talk happy,
And you never have dream,
Then you'll never have a dream come true!

dark glass

I dreamt that I went outside and the world had changed. Certain ones of us had to keep our existence hidden. We would slip between buildings to go unnoticed, although sometimes we could be amongst the people if we held the right attitude, carriage and clothing.

A man and I were trying to take some boxes to recycling. On returning, we walked through a tall dark glass building. There were stairs going up, corridors that slanted to different levels and elevators, but everything was glass. The only place you could really hide was where the glass curved causing layers of black blue glass to create a sort of dark area.

The man and I went there to rest and maybe sleep for the night. The place was busy with people, but we seemed to be able to be unseen when they were in their mode of thought that was on a different level than ours. We felt safe.

Later in the dream I went to go find my friend WW. He was living in a tent city in the outskirts of the city. He was close enough to be near supplies, but far enough away to not be bothered. He wanted to go on a trip and wanted to borrow my backpack, which was quite large and best for a long journey.

peels

I dreamt that I woke up and BW was over. We were snuggling. He had come over the night before but I didn't remember. He said it seemed I had something to drink... but I didn't remember anything. not coming home, not going out, nada. I went to the kitchen to get water and noticed I had made some spicy sweet potato dish. There was sauce in a pan and peels in the sink. How could I have accomplished this with no memory of it?

ladder climbing

I dreamt that I worked in a building. It felt like a temporary or contract job, as I felt I was new there and wouldn't be there long. We had to go up this staircase to the top where we would work. I had done this once before and made it, but I knew what was ahead of me and didn't like it, almost to the point of quitting. The staircase became smaller and smaller as it spiraled up through floors and rafters. Pipes and beams of wood crossed overhead and you had to squeeze your body between some places and could not stand up without hitting your head. I have never been a claustrophobic type, but I was feeling that way now.

Knowing I had to go back down the same way I started looking for an alternate exit route. The building was 11 stories tall but I will willing to take whatever ladder I could find down. I stopped to wonder if that was dangerous in high heel shoes and carrying a small dog and  purse (no idea where the dog came from), but I decided it was worth it to have the free feeling.

windows

I dreamt that I was in a house, I guess my house. It was night and was milling around half dressed in pjs. At some point I was sitting on the edge of a plush chair and examining my skin, my toes... I was in the living room and from there could see the front door, which had a window with an open shade on top, a picture window  and into the hall that lead to the kitchen and another side door with a window.

I heard a slight noise and looked up. I noticed that the door knob was turning. I ran to it quickly to shut and lock the door. I saw a man outside with a creepy grin on his face knowing he'd been caught. He was dressed  conservatively with a red sweater with a horizontal stripe through the middle, a collar poking out the top covered by a dad type jacket and hair that was perfectly groomed. He was saying something to me, but all I heard was a guy wants to get in here and will say anything to do it. A friend of his stood behind him with a box of pizza. Does this work for them??

I went through the house and made sure it was secure and then felt secure.

whisper person

I dreamt that I was in bed but it felt like someone was there. It was BW. He was there but felt like a ghost. He felt like wind or mist. I could move my arm and feel something like wind as opposed to nothing. I could almost feel his hair on my face and then it seemed like I could feel the weight of him. I put my arms out and tried to hold on to him to see if there was anything there that was solid. My arms closed around me as though there was nothing there, but then they stopped on something solid about 6 inches wide. It was him... then the solidness expanded and he felt like a full body, but still no legs... they were a whisper behind him. He could float around and be solid and then not.

woke up to this in my head... sesame street (minus the puppets)

Sunny Day 
Sweepin' the clouds away 
On my way to where the air is sweet 

Can you tell me how to get, 
How to get to Sesame Street 

Come and play 
Everything's A-OK 
Friendly neighbors there 
That's where we meet 

Can you tell me how to get 
How to get to Sesame Street 

It's a magic carpet ride 
Every door will open wide 
To Happy people like you-- 
Happy people like 
What a beautiful 

Sunny Day 
Sweepin' the clouds away 
On my way to where the air is sweet 

Can you tell me how to get, 
How to get to Sesame street... 
How to get to Sesame Street 
How to get to... 

misinterpret

I dreamt that I was in my car. I had slept in the back seat under a fluffy comforter. I woke up in the morning and decided to go into my friends' house. As I was trying to shut the car door, the comforter kept getting stuck in the door. I saw that a police car was parked half a block down the street. I knew if I kept trying to shut the door unsuccessfully, they might assume something suspicious was up. I kept it up anyway and finally was able to shut the door. I turned around and there the police were with some sort of Velcro handcuffs and questions about my sobriety.  I had told them that I had just decided to sleep in the car the night before and I actually did belong to a house on the street. They walked me up to the house and my friends vouched for me and the police let me go.

I was in the house and SK was playing video games with my brother and CK was watching a movie with my dad. I felt a bit out of sync wit the group. I decided to sit on the floor behind all of the action and go through my things. 

open door

I dreamt that I was watching a somewhat interactive theatrical performance. Part of it was in a large old historical building with spacious rooms, tall ceilings and open spaces. Each room had a piece of the story and they didn't necessarily need to be seen in order, as all added to the story and you would create the connection organically instead of being lead through. I saw people leaving one room looking a little frightened. I went in and the door opened only to a small balcony that overlooked a dark room lit with fire. It was sort of hell with a demon of sort with large horns. It felt real and that this thing should be something you are scared of, that it could escape if you let the door open, your devour you if you kept the door closed. I walked out and left the door open. I felt it would be ok. This story was almost over. I went out onto the steps outside through the large entrance doors. It was still light outside and people were milling about. A funny looking limo drove up and I noticed it was the writer and other creatives showing up for the party at the end of the night. It looked like they had already started, in good humor and all smiles. They were dressed in early 60's hip. It looked nice on them.  They walked on and another larger and more classic limo showed up and it looked as though they were going to push the other out of the way. I ran up to it to see if I could save the odd little limo from being damaged. This group in the large limo were wealthy. They had shown up for the show, but it was too late. I advised them that there was another spot around the corner, just a moped needed to be moved (safely) and it would be fine, They accepted and a few of us moved the moped.

lost evening

I dreamt that I was working with RMcM. We were getting along great and I was so glad that he was going to be a partner on projects. I fell asleep with these nice thought but then woke up in completely different house, I was with some blond guy that I didn't know. It was as if I was drugged and had a day and night full of incidents that I had no recollection of. There were two women there as well. They all could tell that I was of it and felt lost. One of them asked the other girl if she thought that I remembered her and I kissing. I felt sick. What else did I do?

Full Bill

I dreamt that I was at a sauna place. Everyone was naked and it was just normal. They people were nice and nothing was strange. I thought about putting a top on, but instead of seeming like somethng prudent, it was almost the opposite and seemed more risque. I decided against it, as I didn't want people to think I was trying to be sexy. I went in for a bit with friends and then we left to get dressed in the locker room and then to go to a bar.

The bartender was a nice man, a bit of a care taker for some of us. I ordered a Manhattan and sat at a table waiting for a girlfriend. When she finally came out, my drink was finished. She offered to get me another drink that she liked and I said sure. We sat at the bar and I started feeling woozy. I told her that I had better not have another and I asked for the bill. He gave us the bill and it was short a drink. I thought Yes!  a treat, I would just tip extra, but pay less in the end. Then I turned and saw the waitress's face.  A face that said she would not get her full credit on sales. I felt a pang of guilt and made sure that the receipt was righted and I paid in full. 

backseat bear

I dreamt that I was with M&P. We were trying to leave the city to get away from some natural or un natural disaster or thing. They wanted to stop at the bank first. We were in a black SUV and while waiting, I noticed a bear outside. At first I thought it was neat... but then I thought that it might come in the car. We had food and it would draw its attention. It did. The bear came at the door and ended up going through the back seat where I was sitting. It chased me through to the other door.  I was able to get away. I was thinking to run around the car and jump in again and close and lock the doors. Then the bear turned into a cow/bull.. and somehow could still get through. I was yelling at them to hurry. They ran back to the car and we escaped.

oscars

I dreamt that I was going to an event. I was wearing a red dress I had only worn once, so I was happy to have a chance to wear it again. The event was the Oscars, but it was a little different. At the dream Oscars, it was an all day event.  You arrived early and you watched all of the movies that were up for a win. I needed to use the ladies room, so I got up and left. The restrooms were all full or dirt. Each stall was a bit messy and I couldn't find one that I wanted to use. The sinks were even messy. As I walked by, I lifted my dress as not to get anything on it. I walked back outside and there was a man waiting for me. We knew each other a bit, but not completely. There was still flirtation that can still exist with a new relationship. He was sweet and didn't want me to go back to movies. I enjoyed his company and I didn't care much for the film we were watching that starred Ethan Hawke, so I stayed with him.

It began to snow. I saw a cottage not far off and for some reason wanted to see it, so I walked there while he waited and walked back.

The time seemed to pass and we were older, had our own home and seemed to still have the same adoration towards each other.

I was in a towel and mailman was coming. It felt like I couldn't hide away anywhere in the house, so I decided to go the the neighbors house until he left. They had been away on a holiday. I was in their sun room. They were an older couple and I saw that they had decorated their mail table with small pine trees it was sweet and fake snow. It was sweet.

drying time

I dreamt that I was with some friends KS & SK. We were returning from some event in the city and were trying to find the best way back via transit and by foot. We walked here and there, hopping on trains and off. We felt like we were headed in the right direction, but not speedily. We stopped at one fountain that had large boulders and platforms to sit on. I had been there before and remembered how the water was always perfect to put your feet in. KS had gone on her way and so I told SK about it. She threw her watch over to a stone and decided to go in the water to get it. When she jumped to the stone, the watch fell in the water. I urged her to go in and get it quickly before the watch was ruined, but she seemed to take her time. She went in and found it and brought it to me. I figured if we dried it and took it apart and let it air dry, it might just be ok. 

scent remover

I dreamt that I was at table. I felt a bit like I was at a bazaar or a school event, as I wasn't at a dining table or at work, but it felt like there was hustle bustle. I was sharing a table with a middle eastern man. He gave me two boxes of what looked like last holiday's packaging of sweets. I thought he must have bought them on discount, but it was a nice gesture. Each box had several miniature versions of different sweets, tarts and cakes. I had a three layer serving tray. Initially I had poured the box on to the tray, but then I decided to treat each item as a gem, and arranged them in a pattern. I did this partly because it was pretty, but partly to show appreciation to the man.

The scene changed and I was in a house, but with a similar feel of open to what might come by like the table. The walls were open with only supports between rooms. There were sheer curtains that gave the feeling of separation between rooms. People that were in the house had left and I was alone. I was looking forward to it but then I heard someone at the door. I couldn't really pretend I wasn't there as they could see me through the curtains. The stepped in through one of the walls with a case in hand. It was a mother, blond, late 40s and her daughter, a late teen and bobbed dark brown hair.

She opened her case and said ok... this is what you wanted. Then I remembered, I had requested this woman's help and now I was glad they just came through the walls. In the case were glass tubes. She was going to capture my scent... pheromones etc. and that of my mother's with the goal being I would clear mine of all recognition or resemblance from my mother's scent. The woman left, leaving the case for me to complete the process. Her daughter stayed and followed me around like a puppy. She as uncomfortably interested in me and I wasn't sure what to do with her.

Time passed and I was alone again for a second when my mother appeared. I was nervous, as I didn't want her to see the case or know what I was doing. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't want her to be insulted or that I didn't want her to intervene. The case had two layers so I could lock the tubes in the lower half and reveal a faux makeup layer. I quickly locked the one part and was showing her items on the top.

missed class

I dreamt that I was in an odd building on the lower floor, almost a basement. It had the old tile linoleum floors that probably had asbestos underneath. I was waiting to take a workout class, and it seemed I was the first one to show up. I felt that maybe I had the wrong time or day. RC was there just sitting in a soft chair calm and cool. I had to change into my clothes as I was half way into my workout gear. I felt awkward in front of him and I was doing my best at being graceful, but it wasn't working. I felt as if every piece of me was hanging out in the wrong way.

clueless

I dreamt that I was on a vacation with my mother. RVB was there with his wife that he had said that he had divorced. We had a window between the two suits in the sun rooms. I could feel him trying to catch my attention, but I ignored him. I knew he would just act happy and clueless that he had a wife with him. 

5 questions

I dreamt that I was sitting in a room with others. It was a bit of a workshop room with long tables and benches and stools, a little hodgepodge, but creative. There were several monitors on tables as well as empty spaces. I was sitting and working on something when a man came behind me and said that he wanted me to take this test. He gave me a sheet of paper with 5 math problems. After my first glance, I knew it was something that I was good at that other may struggle with. I was excited to do the test. There was a knowing that if I completed it successfully, I would belong to some group or have a new career with x company. He seemed confident that I would pass, and that this was just some red tape to go through. He seemed like he was a mentor, someone that had been watching me and now was ready for me in his group.  

I cleared my lap of a bag of books and papers, so that I could concentrate. I looked up on the monitor to see if my program was open. I had decided to type the answers in Word. None of it was overly complicated number wise and I had a calculator. I would write them all on one sheet and then copy and paste half of the answers on another as the instructions asked that the two sets be separated. 

I noticed that the area in front of me was a little insufficient, I had no place to write. Also the people next to me started crowding the table and I lost focus. I got up, gathered my things and sought out a clear table. My anxiety started to appear as I was worried about time and focus.  I moved to the new table that was completely empty then went back to get my monitor, which seemed like a light 3 dimensional rubber mat shaped as a monitor. I was getting situated and then people started moving to that table. Really?? So I picked up one last time and moved opposite of where I was first sitting. On the way a woman looked at the test in my hand, and with eagerness said, when will you be starting with us?  My heart raised and sunk. I was excited. These 5 questions... a few minutes, was all that was separating me from a dream of working with people that I liked, doing something Ioved, feeling like I was in the right place.  

Why was I making this so hard? 5 small questions that I could do, but my doubt was keeping me from doing them. I was panicking, as I wanted to completed it.  I thought I can do this, just sit down and do it...  

floating home

I dreamt that I had returned from a trip. I lived in a small village near water. I was dressed in a nice outfit, kind of dolled up, and I felt good. I walked down to the water to go home. Things looked a bit amiss. There were some men standing on a dock. It seems that several docks were connected together to make a way across the water. My house was connected to one of these docks. When I first looked, I saw that one dock was all mossy and partially submerged. I looked at the men hoping for an answer of I was was to get to my home. I looked again and noticed my home wasn't even there. Had it sunk too???  One of the younger gentlemen told me that it was fine. The reason they were out there was that someone had broken into my home and so they removed the home and dock from the are to somewhere safe. I was relieved and re-panicked at the same time. What had they stolen? what did I have that was worth stealing??  I sunk to my knees in front of the man and realized I was pulling his pants down with me, so I quickly replaced his pants and said I didn't see anything.. and they all laughed. 

Woke up with this song in my head: Changes

Changes 

Still don't know what I was waitin' for
And my time was runnin' wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse of
How the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
Mmm, yeah

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Where's your shame?
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinatin'
Ah, changes are takin'
The pace I'm goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n' rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you're gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time

masks and mirrors

I dreamt that I was standing on land, I think it was a field, but not too remote. We were looking for our friend and we thought something may have happened to him. I looked down at the dirt and saw a small hole where the soil had been disrupted. I yelled out for my other friend, "I think I found something!" I started digging with my hands and I just knew something took him... consumed him. I couldn't see the thing and wasn't sure what it was, but I felt like there was a void where my friend should be. As I was digging I saw candies, candies that he had always had in his pockets, hands or mouth.. always part of him. I told my friend "... maybe this is what drew the thing to him."  It was everywhere that there was a hole in the dirt.

We needed to get out of there and go .. not sure where, but somewhere safe, a home maybe. We were inside a house and we gathered two kids of my friend, and some others. We huddled together feeling somewhat safe but apprehensive.  I saw my friend in a mirror, he was wearing a mask... sort of like the front half of the mask of batman. I turned around to look at him and there was no mask. I thought it was a bit strange. I went back into the room of the children and I heard a noise. My friend was gone. I quickly linked the mask in the mirror to the thing's new target. I looked in the mirror and I was fine. We were safe... no candies, no mask. I decided to move the children off of the main floor, somewhere that seemed more protected and away from outside doors and windows. I paused for a moment to listen for any noises and as I looked around, I could see the children's reflection in the window looking out into the dark. I saw little silhouettes of half masks. They were next.