river

I dreamt that I saw a friend of mine, like in a dream. She was in a blank space, so I was just seeing her is-ness... the way she was, flowed, energy? I then reviewed myself and felt I didn't have the same flow. I noticed I had a metal bar was screwed to the top of my head and it curved over the back of it down my back with screws into my spine. Out from the bar, were side bars, almost like ribs going around to about the front middle of my arms. So part of me was experiencing and free and the other wasn't. It felt rigid, I couldn't breath or stretch. I wanted out. I imagined the top screw unscrewing and it worked. the bar retracted into the middle bar on my back and then the side bars retracted in and it was gone, poof! I realized I was a little girl.

Then I was in water. I was moving in the boat trying to make it go and it wasn't getting anywhere. As soon as I relaxed, the boat was going down the stream, then it stopped. I got out and went down a green forested path. There were stone stairs at the end. I felt like there was something I should do, was supposed to do, was wanting to do. I decided to go up the stairs, almost in fear of something would happen, or more not happen if I didn't. As I was on the stairs, I looked to the right and saw more stairs. Should I climb those? It felt like I would just be in the same set of stairs only hirer. I looked over the edge of the first set of stone stairs. I realized I was on a cliff and that I should jump. Really? Couldn't I die? but it was the only thing left to do. I jumped expecting a splat at the end. I ended up only dropping four feet. I was ok. It wasn't as high as I thought. I made it out to be way scarier than it was in reality.

I brushed myself off and water was coming. I was in a boat again and drifting down a river. I started going faster and faster and even holding on to the edge of the front of the boat and putting my face out there in the wind and spray open and ready for what was next. I noticed as the boat was going, I was getting older. I went from girl to womanhood. The boat stopped in some sand. I got out of the boat and stepped on warm sand cover in fir tree greenery. I could feel the warm white sand under my feet. It felt beautiful, like the warmth of love. The greenery felt nice too, but in a different way. I walked deeper into this island and saw a large marble Roman type structure. It was completely empty, clean, a fine foundation, but nothing and no one. I walked up into it and wasn't sure what to do. It was cold, I felt cold. I saw at the end of the room that there were more stairs, same number as the stone stairs. I walked up those and realized there was nothing to do there, no where to go again, so I came back down to the main room. I could feel a presence behind me. It was up on the landing of the stairs I just came down. It felt dark, not like it was a threat, but dark. I thought, is this a shadow experience? do I need to look it in the eye, knowing now that "it" was an angel. No... I didn't need to look it in the eye. I didn't need to run from it either. Even thought it was an angel, it wasn't there to be light and sweet and soft. I kept walking because I was questioning whether or not I should leave this place. Just as I was coming to the conclusion of possibly no, the angel was right in front of me. I couldn't see its face, just that he had dark hair down to his shoulders, a bit scraggly. Although his gown was white, his wings and face were dark and I couldn't distinguish his features and didn't feel it was important too. He was showing me no... I needed to stay. Not knowing what to do with myself in this empty building, I sat down in the middle of the floor and dropped my shoulders and was resolved that I would just see what would happen next. I saw time passing, and red woven rug appeared under me, a warm wooden table next to me with vases, candles, plates, more decorations on the walls, furniture, people, activity and warmth. It felt like a life. It felt good.

Then the water came, calmly and I was off again flowing down a river. The water came to a whirlpool and I was spinning around feeling I should try and get out. I flapped my arms trying to swim, but the more I struggled, the more I would sink down in the water. I let go. I was able to just watch and experience the spinning, the different things I was seeing and enjoy it. The whirl finally let me free and I was at the edge of a river again. This time on soil instead of sand and the same greenery under my feet.

might makes right

I dreamt of a man from the 1940s. He was Irish and it felt like war time. He was singing a little chant...

"We all should have the same values,
You should be like me,
Then might makes right
and we must fight
and make an amputee."


It felt like a song of irony... showing how stupid it all is, we will never all be alike..
and to impress then on another could only be done by force
and then we lose.
 

looking for an apartment

I dreamt that I was at a department store with my new coworker DA. We doing something wrong in the parking lot, something we wouldn't want anyone else to know about, but I'm not sure quite what it was.We went into the store, bought some flowers and other items and as we came out, there was a man in a photo booth that was playing with some photos and film. I looked over and realized he had filmed us and I felt panicked. I went straight to him and asked for the photos. He was holding on to them defensively but with a feeling of ownership. I somehow threatened him enough to get them back. I felt there was not going to be a "no" from him. I wouldn't have stood for it.

Then I dreamt that I was looking for an apartment. I decided to go ahead and look at my old place in a neighborhood I wasn't happy living in due to the distance from the city. I was partly excited though as it was a great space with two story ceilings. As I was going there, I ran into JL (friend from Arizona). It was nice to see him. He looked good, his hair looked a little different. He was on his way to a wedding of his best friend's. His friend looked tortured and stressed. I felt almost that he would have rather married JL then his bride to be. 

vampires

I dreamt that I was a vampire, but there were levels .... There was the upper crust, a middle level and then the lowly vampires that were more like slaves. I was in the middle range. I found out somehow that one of the upper level vampires was after me. He was going to drain me, which meant death.

Real life... started a new job... hmmmm

Elvis

I dreamt that I was at a party of sorts. A guy that reminded me of a guy I went to grade school with (DG - who reminded me of young Elvis in a southern boy sense), asked me to dance. It was an amazing feeling being with him. It felt like pure love.... not romantic, or physical ... like an amazing connection, very peaceful.

seagreen ladybugs

I dreamt that RVB was coming to visit as a surprise. I was in an upstairs apartment. My curtains were open and he and a couple of BW's friends peeked in. I wished that I had closed the window and locked the door. I really didn't want company. They came in and all were nice. I was to go with them all to a party that my friend AS was having. I was kind of happy to see her as I hadn't seen her baby yet. There were many people there, all nice. I went outside for a second. Ladybugs had landed on my shirt sleeve, a pale sea green one with black dots and a lavender one. They were pretty and unique... almost felt like pets. I went back inside. I  could find RVB. I figured he was tired from his flight from the Netherlands and so was taking a nap. I saw his clothes laid out on a bed and realized he was showering. I went back in the room with the others and he finally came out all clean. We were to go to an address where we would stay during his visit. It was in a different part of town. AS seemed to know the place and people that lived around there. I never did see the baby.

I panicked. I realized I had missed a dinner (one I am actually having tonight) do to all of the commotion. I didn't even call him, so he must have been waiting at the restaurant. I didn't have one good excuse. I woke up actually feeling panicked that it really happened.

broken stairs

I dreamt that I was in a house with many girls/women. Our rooms were at the top of the house that had many floors. The stairs seemed to be broken to get to the top. We had to try to get ready in a lower floor without our things or climb up from the outside. There was lots of hustle and bustle as there is with young women. I think we were close, I think we were having a good time.... kind of vague.

horse buggy

I dreamt I was at a house. I think at first it felt like mine and then no. There was an underlying stress feeling like I had to be out at some time, yet at the same time I had a feeling of freedom? power?

I was cleaning or doing something and some friends came over. Then they were gone an older man was there. Older... maybe late 50s early 60s. He was very fit, had on red shorts and a red running jacket. It seems he was interested in me. I think normally I would have been put off, partly by his age, partly his clothing... but he was very alive, very energetic, very excited about life and what he was talking about. Nothing about him seemed old. I liked him.

Then it was time to go. I got in a horse carriage and was on my way. It was a bit more like a caravan of people. We were all going through the mountains. I think others were in normal cars or vans. I was in the horse and carriage with a couple of others. I was able to stand outside the carriage like one of the men who waited on the rich did. We were driving in the mountains along cliffs. It was exhilarating and beautiful to be able to see from this vantage point. I was a little scared, but I had my elbow locked around a pole, so I knew I was safe. Then a semi truck was driving in the opposite lane. I needed to pull my body in the carriage but I wasn't fast enough. I looked up at the driver... he knew it would crush me if I didn't pull in. He looked down and smiled. Not an evil smile, but like a grin... of "I know you are there, this is uncomfortable, I won't hurt you.... but you need to experience this.... you'll get through it."  An all knowing grin.

massage

I dreamt that I was with my new coworker, DA. She and I has both made an appointment for a massage. Instead of a spa type place, it seemed to be at a hospital or clinic. I think there were lots of rules to follow, forms to fill out. We were not sure if we were in the right place or signed up for the right time. She was going back and forth out loud about all the different scenarios maybe we should have done instead, although what we had done might be just fine. I decided to change the conversation to her resume. I wanted to help her find a new job.

transfer students

I dreamt that I was in a building with many international folks. They seemed about college age, but more mature, most likely because they were foreign, travelers and so on. I had been through all of this before, so I was watching while they all set up their apartments and shared kitchen spaces. They were all being very organized, getting systems in place of where they would put their produce, seasonings and so on. I told one of them with a smirk, "you know.... this isn't going to stay this way. I've seen it. By the end of the term it will look like this... " there just happened to be a photo of a past resident's kitchen that was all a'muck. He smiled... as though he was thinking about all the adventures this year would hold for him and how it would change the kitchen... and him. They all used a store downstairs for their groceries. I think it was a little Asian store that just sold the bare necessities. I had been going to a larger store, but thought... how nice to just go to the bottom of the building and visit this store and make relationships with the vendors, even if the products were low quality and the business shady. I was looking forward to this year... although I felt not part of them completely.

Dan Ackroyd

I was at a friend's house (JLash). We were going to go out with friends and  his parents who were all nice. There was an antique odd minivan out back. I guess it was mine? We were about to leave and I saw that someone had stolen the van. Then I friend of JL's was being a jerk.. he didn't like me.

Then I was at another friend's JWM's. There were a lot of people there. We were going to curl up together. I was telling him some sob story about the van being stolen, my job being lost. It turned him off. Then a gal friend of his showed up, some blond. She was funny and he wanted to focus on here. Then he was showing photos of when he was little. She must have known him then as she was commenting on the photos. 

Dan Ackroyd showed up. He was nice to me.

red hair

I dreamt that I was taking a class at a community type college. The rooms seemed a bit dated and hodge podge. We were sat in a U shape around the room and it seemed to be then end of a term. I looked up and saw Elvis' ghost. He was singing. I wasn't sure if he was one of those ghosts that is just an instant in a life replaying... or a thinking/feeling ghost. I decided I would send him thoughts and see if I could get his attention. I got it and we started singing together. Then I was sitting and my professor, who was really my chiropractor (RH) said that he would like to trim my hair. The ends seemed like they needed it so I agreed. He ended up dying my hair a purply red. It wasn't me.... I was upset. I knew that I could go back, but it felt Hercules-esque in that I would lose something of myself by losing my normal hair color. I left the class...

I realized I had left something in there, so I went back up from the outside of the building using the stair case, one that was rarely used. I used a key and got in and another class was being held. I planned to just go in, get my bag and turn around. The instructor, a middle aged brunette, stopped me and said I didn't belong in that class. I tried to tell her that I was in the class before it, but she didn't seem to understand... this was a Jewish class and I didn't belong. I got my bag and left back down the stairs. I sat there for a second going through my bag. It had old dishes and things that I realized I didn't want anymore. I was looking forward to getting rid of them as I felt like they just weighed me down.

Then I went to walk home. I was worried a  bit about my hair and what GH would think of it. I was living in a small home behind a home, which was owned by Oprah. She was nice in letting me live there and gave me a tour of the place, apologizing for the small size. I thought it was just perfect. I had seen it as small initially and realized it had another set of rooms that I hadn't seen. I had my old dog Sophie with me and she said, just no peeing in the house. I think she did pee.

Then I thought I saw some poo too, but it was just an old paper bag rumpled up on the floor.

oddities

I dreamt that I was on a road trip with some friends (JP and RB). We drove down one road that had a sign that said such and such town/village... it ended up being a dead end and there was just one home at the end saying it sold antiques (that they had many shops etc.).. It ended up being just one run down house with trinkets. I looked around for fun.. found some old items. It was kind of fun. Then one girl that we were not with said.. (as though this pile of stuff was mine to take)... are you sure you want none of it? I saw a few nice items in there. Once you look for sure, then I will take what you don't like.

I saw a pretty broach... at least I thought it was one. I wasn't sure of the design, but it looked nice. I couldn't figure out how to secure it onto cloth, but could tell it was still in tact. Then I saw several kinds of nativity scenes. I thought jackpot. My step mom collects them and she had probably never seen any of these, they were so unique. The girl was right, there were treasures. Part of me felt bad if I was taking something she liked...

black clay

I dreamt that there was a new tram being built. It seemed to be able to take you anywhere. It wasn't on ground level. It went over all obstructions and even out to the farming areas. It was close to being done, minus the business end of how to charge and ticketing, so it would be free for now. They encouraged people to ride it saying the more that you would, the faster and more efficient it would be. I was out in a farm area and decided to give it a try. It was so handy and so nice to have. I was looking forward to new opportunities with it. I went from the tram, which seemed to be high in the sky, to a home. It was a large studio type place. I loved it and said that I would like to live in a place like this. Someone else went on and said yes, if you added a room here and there, but I disagreed. I loved it as is.  There were many of us in the room and we were experimenting with a new invention. One guy tried it first. He held some black clay in his hand an kneaded it for a bit, then he sat in a chair, some lights would go buzzing and flashing on a screen that he sat in front of, the chair would spin, and out of his hand would jump a character, a live character. It seemed to have some of the originators personality... or something from him and it danced around. We all decided to try it. We all sat down at the same time with our black clay and spun in our chairs. Out of my hand jumped a character with a very large head and small body. Everyone laughed jokingly at it. I said Oh... it must be from my memory of those goofy sketches people do at fairs making a characture of you  with a large head and small body. The next time we were going to put more though into it...

kayaking

I was in a nice hotel in some foreign place. I think my dad and I were on a trip or maybe it was my friend (BB). I had just realized I needed to check out that day at noon and it was almost noon. I had a TV on up in the corner. I think it was playing the news. I went to the shower which was in the corner of the room. I reached in to get something I had left in there and accidentally turned the shower on and got wet. Not a happy shock. I decided I had to hurry and pack and get out of there. I stopped to look out the hotel window and saw a hill of grass and wood beyond that. Why hadn't I gone out there. I wanted a bit of an adventure ... some nature... It was just a walk to get there. I'm not sure if it was laziness? did I think too much about the how's and when's?  Next time.

I was thinking to myself, I needed to tell people about the peach ice cream I had near the hotel. It was amazing and it felt like a find.

Then I was kayaking, I think with my dad. We were having a good time. I think my step mom showed up too.  We were going along really nicely and I thought I really needed to do this more often. We looked over at a long kayak type boat. It was full of men in blue uniforms, it looked as though they were from the civil war. They were.... They were kayaking next to us, but almost in another bit of water. They were in snow and the water was freezing and their kayak was barely keeping their heads above water. I felt bad for them and lucky that I wasn't kayaking in that cold of water. They all looked a little blue.

We continued on and I looked down at my paddles that looked more like fins. They were flopsy. I saw in the water out front a different paddle end that was more stiff. I was going to toss it and after a second look and thought ... I thought that would be a much better paddle to kayak with. It would be a faster and more controlled ride.

the club

I dreamt that I was sitting at a cafe with my step mom. I was on interview number 2 with an exclusive company. It felt more like a club than a company. It was very hard to become a part of... Everyone dreamt of it like one might dream of flying, it wasn't going to happen. For some reason they were interested in me. Three of them sat down at the small round cafe table, all dressed perfectly... like you might see in a fantasy movie. They were almost not human. Every hair in place, skin perfect, outfits perfectly styled and pressed. Not clothes that you could get your hands on in the local department store. They all had an air of confidence, maybe over confidence, smugness, superiority ... holier than thou. It looked as though they were giving you a gift by being in your presence. Our session was finished. They liked me, thought I was special and unique and wanted me to start training with them as soon as possible. I turned to my step mom after they left. "I don't understand why they like me. Not that I'm not good at what I do, but I don't feel that they asked any questions that would reveal my abilities. What were they going by? My aura??" 

Then I was at their location. I had a winter coat on with a fur hood. I walked into a huge building almost warehouse like and there was a line of people that I had to join. It seemed there were different stations that you had to go through to be initiated or trained. I saw that some were eager to go through each process, good little "soldiers," while others felt fearful. Was it that they couldn't turn back? Afraid of something new? or were they afraid of something worthy of being afraid of. I thought I would just see for myself. I was at a station that was the last one for that room. I had to climb up a contraption that seemed to have some sort of large tub at the top. A woman was kindly instructing me to get in. It didn't feel right. She felt off. I still had my coat on and I asked if I was supposed to go in clothed or unclothed. She said clothed. I said... but my coat, I don't want to ruin it. I asked her if it would get damaged in what ever the tub would do. She didn't say anything and gave me a tight lipped stare. I needed to leave this place. Something felt wrong. I got a sense that they, what ever they were... would consume you. They pulled you in by making you feel liked, admired, loved, needed, exclusive... and as soon as you handed your "self" over to them, you lost your power.

kidnapped

I dreamt that I was going to an anniversary party for my friends K&D. I was on the east coast and the crew there had all been long time friends with them. It was a bit of a posh party, took the full weekend with different events. I wore a red dress and was worried that it was a bad idea because I had worn it at the last two events with them. I asked someone and they didnt' think it was that bad. Someone at some point accused me of trying to take D away... It was ridiculous. I loved those two and it felt awful. They were all after me and I ran and hid in a room. When I could hear the crowd subsiding, I left the house and ran down a street. Some old fellow, looked a bit like a biker, picked me up and took me to his apartment. I was nervous at first and felt a bit kidnapped, I realized he was truely looking out for me and being nice. It was a very secure feeling.

spit

I dreamt that I was with a friend (SK). She was looking for  a place to eat or??

Then I was in a store. It may have been a mall, it felt large and warehouse like. I was now with my dad? or someone similar. We saw two men or women walk by. They looked like they had stepped right out of some jungle, in full on tribal garb. Their skin was black and their hair was all matted into strings. They looked like they would have a strong scent about them. I wanted to avoid them due to the scent I'm thinking. My friend or dad was excited to see them. He had always wanted to speak to people from this tribe. We walked over and found that one was a man and one was a very old woman. Some sort of witch or wise woman. She took his hand and spit on it. It was a good omen or good luck. She looked at me and smiled and took my hand. I so didn't want to be spat on, as her spit had the color and consistency of cooked blood. But when she grabbed my hand it felt safe, she felt kind, and she had good intentions. She spat on my hand and dabbed it in a few places to make marks on the rest of my hand.

treasures in trade

I dreamt that I was sitting on a guy friend's lap (JL). He was mad at me about not giving him enough attention. We kissed. It was nice and very real. I could feel teh whiskers on his face.

---
I dreamt that I was at a relative's of my exbf's house (BW). I was eating some cereal for breakfast? although it was dark out. People were milling around on the back porch. Relatives of his or friends, not sure. I needed to leave. My time there was up. I went out to a back room. I remembered I had these old vintage purses, all in perfect condition. They were a treasure really, not that I liked purses, but they were mint and unique. They were given to me, but I felt funny taking them as if I had to hide them, as if I would be killed if I took them. I started stuffing them into a duffle, my tension rising as I did it. Then I dropped the duffle and left. I felt free.

puppet

I dreamt that I was somewhere.... inside some home. There was an odd table outside made of sticks... kind of artsy. It had a little tiny mock up home on it, but enough space in front for trinkets? jewels?

There were fancy jewels set out on it... some antique. Were they mine? They felt like my responsibility.

A man was outside. He looked either homeless or sketchy. Either way, he felt sketchy. I needed to go out there. I didn't want to be obvious or offend, but I didn't need the items stolen either.

I felt like when I went out there that he wanted more than the jewels. He was wanting control.. like he wanted to hurt me.

For some reason I talked to him, and kept talking... trying to appease, trying to be polite. Why? He was a direct threat and I should have yelled, screamed, grabbed my things and ran inside. Why was I trying to spare his feelings??

Then I was walking down some old neighborhood. It was a very "nice" neighborhood, traditional, old.. hmm I felt like I "should" be there. Not that I wanted to be.. or that it was me. It just what everyone else seemed to want. I didn't fit in though. But I felt I should. It was normal, it was nice, it was secure. I ran down the side of some old ladies house.... I was intimidated by her a bit, although I didn't know her, want to know her, want to be like her... I just felt like she must know something that I didn't.

I felt uncomfortable and not in control of my own limbs

hug

I dreamt that I went camping with some friends CK and SK. . I knew to sleep on ck's side. She gave me a hug because she knew that I needed it.

flamingo

I dreamt that I was along a river. I was going by it in some sort of vehicle that would make us go up high. It could have been a plane or helicopter, or it just could have been a train that had rails up high. In my head was some sort of commentary about what we were about to see. There was a double water fall and a windmill that one could only see from this vehicle. So many people hadn't seen this spectacular view. The odd thing was is this way of transportation was more affordable, easier and more beautiful than any other way of getting around. Why didn't people take it?

My dad was with me. We were watching some people "ride" the water falls. This was something more dangerous and uncomfortable than fun. They would have this so called badge of ?? honor? or... looked what I can do type feeling, from traversing it, but they would miss this great view, be in pain, and why put out that effort. My dad spoke to a girl who was doing this. He said it wasn't fun to do the jump through the water, it stung. This girl was doing a hard route to get tougher or?? He said why would you want to put yourself through that. What was hard was waking up every day at 4 am, studying, drills etc. (he was in army)... why would she want it even harder?

I then dreamt I was taking classes. A guy and I and a girl went in, they were telling people something in a crowded house, offering us iced tea etc. I took some to be social. One girl broke her glass three times and was laughing about it.  two girls were talking about retaking the test, and had they studied. The guy was talking about what he should do with his life. I said what you do is really cool. Managing everything that is going on (for a play), making sure it happens. He was like really? I said it is exciting and then done. Mind you ... stressful. and no product at the end... like if you were a set painter, or script writer etc. etc...

I had to sew a piece of cloth for the play. The guy kept trying to help me with the machine, fixing it. I kept trying to do what I can do, sew. As the play was going,  I kept trying to sew the two pieces together etc. finally managed it and play was over.

----

dreamt walking in old hut? several stories, up narrow stairs,each doorway would get smaller as you went up. I felt I could barely get through the first doorway. Many of us going up. It made me feel claustrophobic and scared. But I thought... I'm a girl, there are guys going up there, there must be a way.  I looked out to the 2nd floor.. I saw it opened up into the main room on the ground floor and each "floor" was  just a little landing with a place to be that opened to that main room. I decided to get out then. Mystery solved. I also saw that there was a ladder that could take you down to the main floor again instead of the uncomfortable narrow stair case. Then we were all there. This place was at the coast. I was there with many women, people?? none that I knew, but in the dream I was friends with them. A few would doll up and go down to the town. They were younger. A girl and I stayed and there was a big dog? cat turned toy? etc.???

The girls came back again to grab more girls and go out again. Again we decided to stay.

---
I dreamt of a man that was a flamingo. First I just saw a flamingo being strange... acting cartoon like then coming right up  to me. Did it want food? to peck me?  Then it turned into a tall Englishman with a large nose is a somewhat casual tuxedo. He was saying doesn't it make sense that he is a flamingo? I found him charming. Then further on to the conversation he said, your friend there (PC) turns into a cat, and she nodded. Then I realized I also turned into a rabbit, just never in public. A big rabbit... rabbit was strong and fast, not about meekness

Then dreamt that I was pregnant... but for what ever reason, it was my brother's (magically, not incestuously).... and that they wanted a baby, and it just made sense that they would get it. I told my sister in law and she was very happy. Then she told my brother, he was happy. My mom was somewhere in the background with her boyfriend. It all made sense at first but then I was thinking... but it is half my kid... I'll want to see her, what if I don't like how they raise her and so on and I wanted her back....in my mind. My sister in law's family was there, her dad, who is deceased. I was walking and realized I had to use the bathroom, I was having a miscarriage. I was relieved... they had two kids already (in my dream) and didn't need another. Her dad was happy to see their baby ...

There was a toilet box in the center of the room (a disposable toilet type thing). I was going to use it,  but they were packing it away... Then I saw a little girl crying... I think it was my sister in law as a little girl? Was it because her dad was leaving? Her dad was crying to and was sad to leave.

something about pine cones... highest yield...

new me

I had a dream I was at some sort of event. A reunion? coincidental reunion?  Some guys from my high school were dressed like bikers, others like pirates and so on

It was a big event and all costumed, but myself. Why hadn't I dressed up? I loved Halloween. As I thought this, the feeling left. It was as if I was observing someone else's old feelings. It wasn't me anymore and I was just having a knee jerk reaction. Now I suddenly didn't care.

I was wearing a long dress. It was kind of hippy/dumpy, but feminine. A guy that came by said he liked it.

Then I was in a house (in reality a house down the street from where I grew up, that a friend of my mother's lived in). I went inside and found AT, MT and M were going through the house for things to take. Maybe they were just doing laundry and taking their own clothes. It felt strange though.

I had been trying to clean the house before my mom came home.... I had thought the house was clean enough until I had thought of her.  Stuff started oozing out of the place when I thought of her.

Then I was working in a costco type building. The gal from who's the boss was the boss. She was interviewing me and was hard core, I didn't care. I knew that I could do the job. I wasn't afraid of her and I think that she liked that. So I started working there. They paid barely anything and had a  poor work environment. SK worked there.. I decided to leave, walk out without pay.. I didn't care, not apathetically, I just felt I "knew" better.

My dad, step mom, and brother were outside the building to meet me. It felt good. We were going to go somewhere nice.

grandma

I was in an apartment or house with others. There were weight lifter types down stairs... kind of neandrothals. AMS from New Orleans was visiting. BW and it seems other guys were there from my past? I think it made AMS feel uncomfy...
I don't know how I felt about it. Normally I would have cared about someone's feelings, but I don't think I did.

My grandma (IC) was next door. I had to take care of her, but this wasn't a bad thing. I loved her and enjoyed being there for her.

I went to a concer, some platinum blond gal. My friend AL-S was there and I had taken my grandma too. She liked to get out. I walked right into the concert and straight to the best seats even though I didn't have a ticket. I didn't have the normal fears you might have getting caught and then getting kicked out. I felt I had a right to be there. Not so much entitlement, just a feeling.  The concert was over, so I went to the bar in the lobby and met up with AL-S. She was having a bloody maria. I was trying to think of what I wanted and decided to pass on a drink. Another friend was there, SK. As we were all leaving the conert, my grandmother  had left out before us. I couldn't see her, so SK went out into the parking lot to find her.

There were grand steps leading away from the concert hall. They looked icey, so I went to stand up on some decorative boulders for a better view to find my grandma. The stones were in the grass at the bottom of the stairs. I turned back to look at the steps that now looked made of hardened clay and they collapsed.

I found SK and my grandma. I told them that they should have called to tell me that she had been found.
Then I was visiting a doctor's office. The office seemed a bit victorian, all dark wood, velvet uhpolstery, etc. A French man was coming out of the examining room. It seemed he was getting an enima. I had been reading a nutrition book and it seemed we were both doing the same plan.
He spoke French to me, I didn't understand him much. I felt he was a nice man and nice with his wife.

---
Then I dreamt that I was on some sort of ship under water. It felt futuristic, but a little steam punk. The ship was movign under water. We were headed to a destination. I was working under the "carriage" of the ship. I had to be outside of it and it was dangerous. The others on the ship were not aware of how dangerous it was and what I was risking. We reached our destination, some sort of dock of sorts. We didn't have a lock for our ship, which was now the size of a van. We left to go get supplies and then realizing there was no lock, went back for some of our valuables.

retreat

I dreamt that I was at some retreat or school at the ocean. We all were there to have some outward bound experience or schooling that included some sort of credentials. Something to make us better in one way or another. It felt like a far off place that not many people get to go. Not a resort, not paradise, but just something special away from the hustle bustle and social norms. We were starting something new.

I needed to get back to a building so hopped on the tram. A young girl was on it with me and I alerted her to hold on, as this was a crazy ride more than a tram. It was a lot of fun, but you could get hurt if you didn't hold on.

Then I was out on a dock. Some friends of mine and I were finished with our program. There were just some festivities left and then we would all go home. It felt like many had left already and our hearts felt a little sad or empty. I large sword fish jumped out of the water and we exclaimed how beautiful it was. The guy was trying to get us to go to this party where we had to wear swim suits... it was the dress code similar to a black tie. He had my friend try on some and then said I should look at a one shoulder suit. He thought it would suit me. It did... I looked better than ever really and was wondering why I put myself down so much. The girl said she would be leaving tomorrow and most likely wouldn't come back. I was sad. I think I was trying to ride out the place until the very last event so it wouldn't end.

___

previous dream lost teeth on left side  :-/  was worried at first... mercury... then not

-----

I dreamt that sent personal emails to the president of the company I'm working for. I ran to delete it from his computer and he said that was not ok to do. I was trying to explain and he kept saying no. Then he kept singing.... not like him.

I was wearing a tshirt that had two words on it.. they meant something intersting... can't remember.
 ?? flux? or ... two words

Then I was at some fancy house.. JLB was there... I was on the stone steps.. felt old.  Some other french guy was there that didn't seem mentally all there, but then he seemed intelligent.

follow the rules

I dreamt I was in some sort of futuristic vacation place. Everything was perfect... all needs were met it seems (food, location, services), if you follow the rules. I don't think any of it was real. I walked out to a ocean area.  I could see where others had already found a nice spot to lay "outside." I walked back into a buildign. There was a 3D holographic film playing in the center of the room. The space for the holograph was like a big tube in the middle of the room. The movie was about dinasaurs. I saw past the holograph to another door and went to that. It seemed to go to another outside area. I saw a tram type thing that you might see at an amusement park. There was a tricky intersection you had to get through to get to the road where it was. There was some sort of water wave thing that you had to get by so it wouldn't pull you under. Was this an exit from the unreal world?? The tram became a boat and there seemed to be some left over food and drink there, all in packages, but older.

Then I was at a hotel that I knew but in the dream had closed down. It could be rented out for different events now. It was sad that it had closed and now looked not as nice as it used to. Sad that people could take something good and make it worse.

Then there were aliens in the building. One was chasing another one that was invisible. He had a blue light at the side of his eye that he could scan a room with and find it. He saw it and continued chasing it. I just wanted to go through without being seen, but two aliens caught me. One held me down and or drugged me and the other pressed something into my temple. It was a light like the other alien had. I felt that it would tune me into their thought processes and possible convince me to be like them. I didn't feel anything too different, so I decided to play along so that I could buy time to escape. They didn't feel friendly at first but then they seemed to ease up once I had that thing in my temple. One was an odd shape with a woman's head.. the other a horse type alien.

without love

woke up to this song in my head (just the chorus really):

Doobie Brothers Long Train Running Lyrics


Down around the corner half a mile from here
see them long trains run and you watch them dissapear

without love where would you be now
without love

though i saw miss lucy down along the track
she lost her home and her family and she won t be coming back

without love where would you be now
without love

well the Illinois Central and the Southern Central Freight
you got to keep on pushing mamma you know they're running late

without love where would you be now
without love

well the Illinois Central and the Southern Central Freight
you got to keep on pushing mamma you know they're running late

without love where would you be now
without love

when the pistons keep on turning andt he wheels go round and round
and the steel rails are cold and hard and the moutains they go down

without love where would you be now
without love

change of luck

I was with some friends and their five year old twins. It seemed like the future. We were living in an odd apartment in the city, but a different city foreign to me. The showers were different, so I am thinking we were in a foreign country. They were rushing around as usual getting ready to go somewhere. The kids were all over the place and I kind of just stepped aside while they did there thing. I wasn'g going to be going on the trip. I would be staying at their apartment... our apartment?? It was kind of a dark apartment and there was a shower in the hallway. As they were passing to and fro, my eyes were glazed over looking in the shower. It needed to be cleaned. JLB laughed and asked what I was doing and I said I was watching the hairs at the bottom of the shower drift around as they walked back and forth through the hallway. I figured it would be best that I did nothing proactive until they were all out of the house. JLB was going to leave a bit later to the airport to change a flight. They finally left and I decided to plop down in front of the tv. I fell asleep and then woke up to the door buzzing. I went to look and they had tiny orange glass square windows so you could just see who was at the door. It was JLB back from the airport. I tried to yell so he knew I knew he was there. I could hear that he was on the phone with TB telling her that he was back home trying to get in. I went and got a robe and then let him in. He was wearing red and white striped pjs and an overcoat. He was all hustle and bustle talking about the airport. He was laughing and in good spirits.

Then we were watching a movie with TB. TB had seen it, JLB, not. He was asking questions...I was saying you will see, and TB was telling him some of it. It seemed partially animated and had a squirrel in it.

Then the twins and I and JLB were in a playground swinging. He had pushed the kids and I was swinging on my own. He went to push me and I was a little nervous because I was already swinging high and it felt a little out of control. Then I just went with it and put my arms around the ropes and crossed in front of me and felt more secure. The twins wanted to swing that high too.

Then I was helping my dad's side of the family. clean up after a dinner. I was trying to help and then my step mom said that I had loaded dishwasher all wrong and was reloading it. I wanted to just get out of the kitchen to be out of the way. She said, "no no, we want you here, it will be a long day celebrating." ... easter?

Then the people had left and there was one woman left. She had been hired to talk about metaphysical stuff. She asked if I had received my image from my numbers? I said I missed it. She looked annoyed but then looked it up for me. My image was a??? which meant?? I know in the dream it all made perfect sense. I told her that I had been seeing repeated numbers in my da (1111, 1212, 333, 444, etc.)  She said I was very lucky... now is the time to do things and/or?? something lucky would happen for me.

out of control

I dreamt I was driving on a backroad with a friend (CK). It was dark and I felt out of control. Obstacles in the road kept popping up in my way that I couldn't see until we were close. We came to a dead end of sorts and I tried to stop the car, but the breaks were not working. I think she thought that I had been too tired to drive or on medication/alcohol. I wanted her to know that I wasn't. I just didn't have control of the car or my environment. For some reason there was a need to still move forward at a quick pace even though there were obstacles and things taht could ruin me. I don't know if it was a run away, or more of a need to "get done." Maybe the latter. We finally stopped by smashing into a car. It was on the edge of a hole, and we were on top of another car. If I leaned to my side we would fall in. If we leaned to her side, I thought would be better. She leaned to far and the car over turned. We got out and some guys that had pushed the car over were upset. One said we ran into his dad's car and would need to pay, he was going to call the police. I told him not to worry, I would pay with my insurance. I was afraid of him calling the police because now I was doubting myself on whether I had substances in me or not.

--

Then I dreamt that I was at some sort of party, maybe a reunion. It felt like there were people there that were happy to see me, like a guy (WF) that had a crush on me through my school days. It felt like a warm and inviting place. There was a large buffet and I was hungry. I knew I wanted something healthy, but it seemed there was mainly things like cheese cake and other rich foods. People were leaving, I wanted to go home as well. I was supposed to go home with a friend (SK), but she didnt' want to rid ewith me. She thought that I had drank.  I don't think I had, but again was doubting myself due to others. In both dreams I did have a feeling of lack of control, but it wasn't due to chemicals. It was again some pull to do something, to get something done, check off a list. I drove home and she was judgemental about it. At home, was actually a woman's home that was a friend of my mom's when I was young (SL). It always felt safe and nice. It still did, but it seemed people were coming up to the house that made it feel less so.

train porter

I dreamt that I was in a modern type apartment. Something about it felt not settled. Either I had just moved in, but wasn't sure about my "ownership" of the place, or I was moving out... Although everything looked good, it didn't feel good.


Then I dreamt that I was an a railway car. It was like a flat bed cargo car with wooden benches on it for passengers to sit in the open air. My dad, step mom, brother and sister-in-law and I were on our way to Italy or the souther part of Italy. It was a sunny day and the train was moving along the beach. Pretty much directly on it. My brother had two suit cases and wasn't really taking care that they were in a stable spot. The rumble of the train bumped them off of the car on to the beach. Without a thought, I rolled of the train on to the sand to retrieve his suitcase. I was successful, but the train kept going and I would need to catch up with them later. I didn't mind. I felt good that I cought the case and liked the idea of an adventure on my own.

Where I had landed was in an old small village. I walked up to the train station that had the normal train and walked through the little buildings, hoping to find a ticket counter. Each room I entered was some sort of shop. One, a trinket shop, another, a high end sports clothing shop. I went back outside and found a phone booth. I realized I didn't have any money on me as my suitcase was still with my family. I saw next to the phone they had a small bowl with complimentary change to use. I didn't know who to call, and I saw that the bowl had  2 dollar coin in it. I took two of them, feeling a bit guilty, but I would replace the money once I had my things. Instead of making a call, I walked onto a train that was headed to our destination. I was looking around for a porter to tell him my story. It seemed I walked onto a dining car. It was nice with white table cloths. The train started moving and I was half happy that I was on my way and also a little nervous, because I didn't have a ticket. A man walked up behind me and accused me of stealing a tube of toothpaste. He was on the shorter side, dark wavy hair and looked annoyed with me. I went on about why would I steal a tube of toothpaste. I told him a bit of my story and he believed me. He then softened his face a bit, smiled and asked if I would join him. He had the next three days off and would be spending them on the train. He lead me to a suite that he lived in. It had two large rooms. One with a king bed, and one with a queen and two doubles. He removed his uniform and plopped on the queen bed facing the tv. I looked around not knowing what would be appropriate. Sit on the double? or would that be too distant, join him on the queen, or would that be too provocative. I think he knew I was a bit lost. He got up to invite me over, smiled sweetly and said "you know I love you." It felt real and sweet.

scary man, train bed, have to get home

I dreamt that I was in a house. It felt like the farm house my dad had when I was little, but more modern. It was dark out and the house felt empty, not just of people, but of light, furniture, sheet rock, and so on. I could see a man in the back field. He was skinny, naked and old with a balding top and long white beard. It was what you might think father time would look like with a bit of a hunch back. He was coming towards the house, coming for something in the house. I don't know if it was for me, for money, for food, but it felt terrifying. The windows were just big square cut outs in the siding, so there was nothing I could do but run or hide. I was looking for where I could run to, but then it felt like another man was coming from the other side. This one was younger, 30s, and dressed in dark close. He also felt like not a good man.

When I think about the old man now, he felt like details, worries, like they are maggots that eat at your life. The house felt like something that we think can protect us, but is just an illusion.
The younger man, he felt like "now," maybe still dark or scary, but much easier to deal with.

------

I dreamt that I was on a train. It was strange, some part of the ride you are in tiny half beds. Half, meaning the length, not the width. So you were all curled up uncomfortably. Next I was able to sleep in a "normal" bed, normally it would be considered uncomfortable, but after the half bed, it felt so nice and like luxury. I felt they almost did this on purpose so that you would enjoy it more. I really didn't care, it just felt good.

The train felt like change, like a new world was about to reveal itself. The half bed felt like self imposed struggle and then the normal bed felt like letting go.

-----

I dreamt that I was out with some friends or something. It started that I was near my home I grew up in in FG. I lived a block away from a park. A friend of mine (ASh) and I were hungry, so we decided to order take-out Chinese. I thought I remembered where the place was, but didn't. We saw some guys, or they saw us, so one of us asked them where it was. They said they would take us, but I didn't have a good feeling about them. They felt like trouble makers. While she was talking to them, I looked up the address on my phone. I saw it mapped out and remembered where it was then and talked her into ignoring they guys.

Then I was at the house in FG. I was there house sitting or?? and with some other people that I didn't know. They were hipster/punk/?? types... and they wanted to go drive around. I took them over to a house. I think one of them lived there and needed something. It was a house where my exboyfriend (BW) was going to be. They went in... got some things, we talked to some of the people we hadn't seen. It actually felt nice, but then we had to go. I guess my friends took the car, so I went with my ex and his house mates and friend in a big Scooby Doo style van. I had to sit kind of squished up against my ex. It was a little awkward at first because we hadn't seen each other in a while, but then he was nice. It felt nice. I missed him. I realized that I really needed to get back to the house in FG before people came back so that I could make sure it was ok.

My friend (ASh) felt like doubt or the need to attach to someone or something to make it... training wheels, when you don't need them. Taking you where you might not want to go and awkwardly.
The Chinese food activity felt like something to do... something to fill time, so not to feel like I'm missing something.
They guys felt like where I didn't want to go, the evidence of not trusting my gut.
The house in FG felt like old attachments, old ways, old responsibilities that keep my mind tied down.
The friends felt like...nice... they felt like something I would normally not do, but when I let go and did spend time with them, it was positive, nice, ....living.
The other house felt scary.... heart scary, facing something that is uncomfortable.
Then BW, he felt like the thing scary to face, but the fear was all in me, not real, and then was nice when I let go.

tribe and apartment on the canal

I dreamt I was part of a tribe from long ago. We lived near a river and a rain forest. Our clothes were mainly of grass skirt type things, arm bands and head dresses. I did something by accident that offended the tribe. I didn't know it was something wrong to do and I felt like they were mistakenly interpreting my action. They were going to put me to death, and something told me it was going to be long and painful. They didn't fear I would run, as it seemed that people in the tribe accepted their duties and rules. I on the other hand was looking for a way out. I took the boat down the river, but still within the village, looking for someone to help me. An exboyfriend of mine (JBDS) was there and I was asking him for help. I could see that he felt the same as the tribe, not that he didn't care, but the rules were the rules. I kept going down the river hoping that something or someone would pop up in my mind that could help me, even if it was just more humane way of killing me. I was also thinking of how I could possibly flee, but that wasn't ideal. I wanted them to understand that it was a mistake, I just didn't know. As I was rounding a bend in the river to a little island in the middle, I saw that someone, no one I knew, had gone to the elders about my case. I could feel that they had gotten through to them and I had hope.

I dreamt that I was moving into a new apartment. There were three rooms, one larger than the other. I was to get the larger one as I was appointed some sort of manager or something. My exboyfriend (BW) was to be one of my roommates and some large woman who was a bit of an alpha. I was glad that I was appointed and that it wasn't to be questioned, because I think she would have been difficult to deal with otherwise. I saw a bird's eye view of the place first. It said it was a lower lever apartment, which at first I wasn't happy about. But then I saw it was also near water. I walked into the place and it was beautiful. All of the rooms were rather large, with ornate woodwork, domes with intricate moldings, high ceilings, a library and so on. I went to the back of the apartment to the patio and we were on the water. There was some grass and then a canal. It was beautiful, more so than I could have imagined. I felt very lucky and excited to experience this place. 

old boss being nice

I dreamt that I started working for a company I used to work for (bpm). I was kind of excited to get started there, although I felt like I left the job last time being tired and ready to move on. It felt new and fresh as I walked in. Lots of hustle and bustle and young people working there. The boss came in, which I have never been close to and quite honestly avoided when possible. He smiled gently and was asking me to do a project for him. I listened and as he was explaining things he held my hand. It was sweet, like he was fatherly and trying to be nice. Then I went outside to go to another building. It was as if the business was in several houses and they also dealt in real estate (homes). I went into one of the homes and up the stairs to look around. It was a model home and felt fresh, new and light. I walked back down the stairs and two well groomed young  men were there to great me. They said that they were part of my team. I felt good about it and them and continued to walk outside to see more of the place.

roommates

I dreamt that I was moving into a new place and possibly new city. I was to have roommates and it felt sort of like a college campus. Lots of people home during the day, laying in the grass, hanging out and all of them were youthful. The buildings were all clustered together and felt connected in some way. I was walking through the places feeling like I knew where I was going, but in reality had never been there before. I guess I was trusting my instincts. I kept walking and was on the second floor of one building, then walked down to the ground level where some people were partying and then walked down some stairs to a basement type place. I knew my apartment number was 11.11.11. This place felt safe, although a bit messy and dark.

werewolf and star trek spoof

I dreamt that this man that interviewed me recently for a ghost writing position, was a werewolf. It was as though he was sucking the life out of others, but it was out of his control. He was so drawn to his subject and   his ideas that he couldn't see what he was doing.

I dreamt that an ex-coworker of mine (DM) was doing a sort of spoof/commercial video for the company we used to work for. It was using our coworkers in a Star Trek situation. It was pretty funny, but I realized I wasn't in it. At first I was sad possibly or felt not thought of, but then it felt right. I didn't fit in with it.

symphony and drag queens

I waited too long to record this one....

I dreamt that I was with my brother's best friend (L). He had a job for me.... in the dream I realized that I shouldn't worry about which career I choose. It was like playing one note on a piano over and over. Instead,  my life could be like a symphony, playing many different notes.

I dreamt that I was with my sister in law. We were having some sort of mulling spice drink and were free of the need to have alcohol or other things to relax.

I dreamt that I was in a room full of drag queens. It was a documentary of sorts. They were all sitting on the sofa. Something about the sofa.... sitting, waiting, felt like death or going towards demise.

Spirits and costume

I dreamt that I was in an Irish type bar. It was a neighborhood bar and I think I lived above it, worked there, knew the people well or all three. It was the holidays, and the place was all decorated, and the bar owner displayed Christmas cards and gifts from customers. The owner was an older white haired man, but he had a lot of ... energy and presence. He was standing on the bar ladder and singing an Irish type rhyming song, when I could see his spirit leave him. It was as though his body changed into his second in command and part of his spirit went into him and that fellow continued to sing the song without skipping a beat. I asked one of the regulars if he had died and too bad and this and that. Then I went to the pile of gifts. I saw that one had been for me. It was a large bottle of alcohol and there was a cartoon of sorts drawn on it with a little joke. I knew it was my friend (TG) from Spain. I went to show another friend (FE), and he didn't quite look at me in a half sneer sort of way. I could tell he felt I was trying to get his attention by making him possibly jealous from another guy giving me a gift and looked down upon it. Maybe I was... I felt bad instantly and put the bottle back.

___

Then I dreamt that I was outside my apartment (not really mine). It was a nice old one, two story, nice bay windows etc. A man in a fancy convertible sports car drove up with a friend of mine. She was cute, short blond bob, knew how to flirt and keep the guys hanging. He had asked us both to go to a play or concert or something where you needed to dress up. He said he would wait and she said she would be just a minute. I knew this wasn't true... she had to shower and it would take her forever to pick something out, let alone me. We dug through things and I couldn't find anything flattering. She picked some avant garde jumpsuit with billowy bottoms. She was the type that could pull it off. I had a gray fitted blazer on that went just past my hips. It was attractive on, but I couldn't find something for the bottoms, besides I looked stiff and business like. I needed to stop doing that. We kept digging through the closets and in the back of my mind I thought... he has probably left already so this is going to be mute. Then again... we would be prepared for next time.

escape, escape, treasure, luck

I dreamt that I was at my grandmother's house. Not her real home. It was near a mountain side and it was snowy. It felt like there was no one in the house and I decided to go cross country skiing. Then I saw a man showing how to cross country ski. It was as if I was watching one of those cooking shows, but for cross country. First I was seeing him from a distance and then it was as though I was seeing through his eyes at his feet and how to move in the snow. I decided to go towards him up the hill. There were a few trees here and there and a small rabbit hopped out in front. I'm not sure any of this felt good. I wanted to learn, but part of it was about getting away, so that motivation tainted how I paid attention to the activity. I wasn't doing well due to it and this sense of urgency and stress of needing to get away.

Then I was back in the house and I had to go to some dinner thing. My norm was to wear black, but I went through my closet (which was my closet as a little girl) and decided on a blue and white fitted gingham dress. I knew I would feel good in it and some part of me wanted to not be put into a pre-assumed box. I went to the table where I was to sit. There were many, like in a wedding, with floral centerpieces etc. The one I was to sit at, the guy there had moved the flowers because he wanted to show everyone something. I was a little disappointed. The nice feeling of a pretty table was gone and it felt empty and ruined.

_______

Then I dreamt that I was on a date with some man from South America or Mexico. He was tall, polite, nicely dressed. I was being polite back. I didn't feel comfortable on this date because with each step, word and movement, I knew that he was trying to woo me and it wasn't going to work. Not because he wasn't worthy. I just didn't get wooed in that way. I wanted a friend, not charisma. He kept on talking and he had a camera and said he would like to take my photo. We had walked to a playground and there were see saws and monkey bars, but also a large painted plywood moon. He asked if I would get on top of the moon for the photo. I looked and it didn't seem like it was possible, but I tried anyway to be agreeable. I climbed on some wooden bleachers. Stepping around a sticky mess someone had left, glad to have seen it. I seemed to have climbed up to the correct height but when I looked at the moon, I was still a distance away, let alone, there was no place to stand or sit. I looked for my friend. I could see him a distance away between the trees in the park. He was arguing with someone. I figured that would be my perfect excuse not to date him, because of agression or something similar. Then I looked down. There were four middle aged Mexican men sitting equal distance apart on the ground facing the moon. They had been having a quiet discussion the whole time as if they were wise men. One looked at me and asked, "Do you have a confession?"   I thought about it, I didn't think so and told them so. Although now it would be running in the back of my mind to make sure.

____

Then dreamt about finding a consigment shop...

___

Then I dreamt that that my sister (which I don't have) was going to marry a very wealthy man.We were young, I was maybe 12 and she younger. I did't feel excited for her or not excited. It was just something that was to be done and it seemed normal. The only thing that wasn't is that we didn't come from a wealthy family. We approached his door and it was as if the "camera" pulled back to go up to the top of the house, looking at the stained glass windows and back down again. Someone let us in to a lobby. The Robbin Williams person wasn't there yet. There was a place to put our coats and then we both decided to use the ladies room. It was very fancy and very large with many items for our use like lotions, perfumes and they were in sample size so that we could take them. He even had spare thigh high stockings available. I took a pare of sheer navy ones with tiny dots and put them in my pocket. My sister took a small chap stick. We left the bathroom and our parents were milling around in the lobby. There were many things to look at. He even had a directory as if we were in a mall. We looked at one of the kiosk type things in the middle. It had modern fashions from different countries hanging with a sign with prices in many different currencies. It was exciting and I couldn't wait to see the rest.
_____

Then I dreamt that I was going to attend a wedding. It was downtown and I had parked behind my Dad on the street. I felt pretty luck to have found the spot. Then it jumped to the wedding being over and I was with my Step Mom looking for their car in a multi-story carpark. The building's walls were red on the in side. We walked in our fancy garb around and around, but couldn't find the car. I told her we should actually look at each car and do it systematically as we were walking to fast (somehow) to see everything. Then on our way back down to do this, I realized that we had parked on the street. It was as though it was the next day because we were worried that the car would be towed or we would have a ticket. Then I remembered we parked late on a Sunday and it was now MLK day, so we would be fine. How lucky.

potato couds and death rooms

I dreamt that the sky was not good. Well, not "healthy." The air had not been moving in a while and the sky was dark with clouds that looked like upside down dollops of mashed potatoes dipped in gravy.

-----

 I dreamt I was with my boyfriend (some blond guy), and we had driven to his apartment. We went up some outdoor stairs to get to his place on the second or third floor. I had been wearing a white skirt, and in the dream, was a bit of a looker. As I was going up the stairs, I was getting attention from men around. Part of me liked an affirmation of my looks, the other didn't appreciate the uninvited stares. I noticed that my skirt had hiked up from sitting in the car, revealing a green skirt beneath. I pulled down my skirt, asking him to remind me to pull it down, him smirking. It wasn't a sweet smirk.

Then I was going  to a hospital type place, I was starting a new job at a place where dead people were. Not a morgue, not a hospital, not a funeral parlor. It was a light office type space, with small rooms that were well lit. The deceased were all on massage type tables, in that they were small and minimal regarding furniture and cushion. There was a deceased person in each room and a watcher or keeper of the room. They were there in a way to keep the body company, make sure it was ok, but possibly more so for the ones left behind so they felt better about the situation. Made the deceased seem more human, more alive, more warm. My job was to do something very simple. I was to file documents, possibly answer the phone if it ever rang, and otherwise lay on a similar massage type table in the small lobby and play dead for passers by.  There was a woman there filing and as I was just sitting there doing nothing, and felt I should be doing something, I finally said hello and introduced myself. She said replied with an almost apologetic introduction. She was Mary and she was only there temporarily, so she wouldn't be able to make friends or mentor me much. She seemed more of a home body, with little experience, maybe picking up some cash for a holiday. I felt better at least talking to her though and being friendly. She said "here, would you like half of the filing?" and I was happy to take it. All by numbers and a word. I know it started with a D, was it died? deceased?  You either filed it by number, or by the word then number. The files were all a mess. I felt good knowing I could add a little value to this simple task by tidying it up. Then the boss woman came in. She said something about a parking space and gave me a smile as though she was giving me the secret of how to turn metal to gold. I replied in a positive manner although I really wasn't sure I wanted a space. I didn't think I would be here long. While I was filing I was thinking, this is not my place. I don't fit with the work, the people, the walls. Should I get that masters in Psychology? Yes... why shouldn't I. Sure, I'll be in debt .... then that thought faded with my sureness of my decision. Decision! That was the D word, or more... decided. Although I think maybe if they were on the files... maybe they were linked with the dead people. The small reception area had just enough space for a tiny desk facing away from the office door but down the hallway of massage tables, a massage table and a small cooler for drinks. My filing was done, so I went to the table to lay and be still. The wall to the outside was a wall of glass. So passers flick their eyes over for a quick look, make an expression and flick back. I could see one woman looking empathetic, another knew I was playing dead and with an eyebrow showed her judgement. Then I saw my boyfriend coming in. I sat up to greet him. He had a huge bouquet of beautiful colorful flowers. They were for his fiance. She was on a massage table down the hall. I wondered... how long will he keep her here? How long will he need to visit this memory? For some reason, it didn't bother me too much, but that reason may have been that I never really invested in him. I walked down the hall way to have a look. It looked cold and sterile, but it felt warm. Kind of like a movie robot that has a monotone voice, but somehow shows feeling. I walked back to the reception area. There were other employees there goofing about. I saw that one of them had dropped and sullied a roll cushion from the massage table. It turns out it was my own table and cushion. I picked it up and I was disappointed to see that this new cushion was soiled beyond repair and had worn holes in it. I turned to my temporary coworker and asked..."how does someone do this? I have had this a long time and I take care of things."

red glitter

I dreamt I was working at a new company. There seemed to be excitement in the air. Either there were new changes in the company or everyone felt good about what they did. The staff seemed pretty youthful and all were dressed in formal, yet stylish business attire. An executive or two had been let go or were retiring and new people were moving in. My position wasn't that high up, but I was enjoying my role in that I wasn't stuck to a desk or one type of job. I could meander and help those that needed help. One friend (KF) of mine had just been hired in a high level position. She was rushing around needing to get a presentation done, but then had to leave. I decided to look over her presentation and help her get it read. It was a very thick book of pages and it seemed they were all misnumbered. I was going to send them through the copy machine 2:1... and then reorder them and send them back through the copy machine 1:2. That would fix it. I also was supposed to put red glitter on the presentation. I think it was supposed to be for a small joke.

stuck

I dreamt that a friend of mine (JB) was helping me with an issue. I didn't know what to do next with my career and I felt stuck.  I was trying to explain it to her. I took a sheet of paper as a visual. I held it in my hand and moved it in front of me as if it were being handed to me from someone else at a job. I said "pretend this is a n assignment given to me at work." Then I felt complete rage in my system, to the point of almost tears and I was about to explain this feeling and then I woke up.

hair cut

I dreamt that I had a short haircut. My hair goes to the middle of my back and I've always liked it. Seeing the cut was a surprise. In the dream I didn't realized I had it done. I first had a second of shock and almost horror and then I stopped myself. I liked it. I felt free and in control. It was as if cutting the hair was a release of all old ideas, habits and memories and I could move forward. 

new experiences

I dreamt ..... I don't remember exactly the first part... something about a new home, a grassy hill, everything felt clean, possibly a little lonely, but good... just missing roots. New surroundings and new roots to be made. Then I was walking near a park that was new. I saw a friend of mine, LA, walking down it, looking happy and positive as always. I felt that I should count my blessings and be more like her. Appreciate what is there and not be sad about what wasn't there.

Then I was starting a new job. It was in a salon. I think I was to be a receptionist/office manager/assistant manager of sorts. The manager was there for a bit. She felt like a dense person. Not in a stupid way, but just her energy felt dense and weighty. She was saying this and that of what needed to be done that day and then she was off in a flash. The rest of us, a man, a couple of women... starting milling about, not really carrying out the orders, more that we were making sure we would be comfortable for the day... starting the coffee, someone setting out some leftover Christmas treats and so on.  A bit unprepared, but we didn't expect much business that day. A couple came in, I don't think they were clients though, nor employees. One sat in a tent like thing in the corner and they put their dog on the counter. It was a white Westie type dog, and I am not sure if it was a stuffed animal or if it was dead. All I knew was that it wasn't supposed to be capable of moving on its own. It was in a box and all of a sudden the box started levitating. I said ...uh.. your dog is floating, you might want to check it out, and then I let go of that situation. Then a woman was walking toward the front windows. She was a new girl there to do hair. I realized I recognized her. She worked in a salon where I had been a receptionist in high school. We exchanged hellos and ah has....

the stairs

I dreamt an ex boyfriend BW, called and I think I was going to drop something off of his, or pick something up of mine. I went to his place and he wasn't home yet, which I was glad. The place was dark, and I went to go do what I was supposed to do, hoping to finish and leave. I think I noticed something, was thinking something that made me pause or was looking at a tv, to where I was in a mini trance for a moment. I was holding on to a door jam and just sitting there. Then I felt a warm hand touch mine. I looked over my shoulder and it was him. He held my hand for a bit and asked me to come over. I had a container in the other hand and said that I should take care of this first and would be over. I don't know if I was buying time to figure out what he wanted, how I wanted this to go, or just scared of closeness altogether. I went to move and I spilled some of the container. I told him it smelled like chicken stock and he said ... yes, it is chicken stock, but with a tone that it was much more. I got a towel to clean it up. He said he really wanted to talk about something. I think I asked what and he made a gesture... about this... meaning he and I and our last talk. I was excited he wanted to talk and at the same time a bit mistrusting, that it would just be him wanting to say why we were not together, or something else that meant we were not right.

Then I was driving. It seems I had finished there, but I'm not sure we talked. All that I knew was that I felt very woozy. I went to go park at a mall where I was going to run an errand. I got out of the car and was walking down a sidewalk in heels. I could barely stay up without checking my balance. A man was walking up. At first I thought it was my photography friend BM, he looked older and not as healthy, then I realized it was someone I didn't know. He saw that I was having some sort of trouble and he thought that I had wanted to go down some stairs before him. I told him no, but he insisted saying he would take the way through the store. I should have taken the way through the store... as it would have led me to where I wanted to go without stairs, but I felt it was too late to change direction, I didn't want to keep moving forward.  I knew I could do it with concentration. I held on to the railing and started my first step down the stairs. They were metal and had a cut out pattern in them that you could see through, and get a heel stuck on. I was woozier than I thought. I was wishing I had just taken the way through the store now. It would have been simple, but i wanted to avoid him and something felt like cheating going that route. I held on tight and slid down to the step, heel to mid calf until I could feel the step. I carried on that way to the first landing. The second half of stairs had no railing, but it looked more solid. Cement steps instead of metal and I could see my destination, which made me feel more solid. 

The Red Book

I dreamt that I was helping a professor friend (BB) find some supporting info for a class if his. And so we went to the campus bookstore... A young, but knowledgeable kid was helping us and instead of looking for the "hard facts" information that he wanted, he kept reading quotes out of a book. They didn't seem related at first, but they were in a big picture, abstract theory sort of way. I asked him which book he was reading this from, and he held up a well worn book whose pages were detaching from the spine. He had to juggle to get the cover back around it and it was the The Red Book by Carl Jung.

new job

I dreamt I was in a large bed with two of my friends. I was just been hired to a new job, but it hadn't started yet. A woman who was very high up in the business showed up at my place. I was still in my pajamas and my friends were still in the bed. She had taken a keen interest in me and wanted to make sure I was ready for the job. She gave me a book and said that I would need to study this before starting. She went through and circled the important chapters for me. She also was going to set me up for an appointment with her?? hypnotist? or...?? some sort of healing person so that I would be better prepared. It was an expensive appointment. I felt honored that she was there helping me. Then she left. I then spoke to my friends saying.. oy! I can't believe she didn't say anything about us all being in the same bed. I wonder what she thinks??

Then I was leaving. I was going to go to a movie, but in order to go, you had to be in a long line. I had somehow been lucky and was at the front of the line, where others would have to wait for hours, if not a day or two to see a movie. I had left my place in line, because I realized my friends were not with me yet. Part of me wanted to jump back in line and part of me wanted to follow my gut.

----

Then I dreamt that my friend AS, who is currently pregnant, was looking for some dresses. I thought that I might have something for her and showed it to her. It seems everything I showed her, she wasn't impressed with or had already had something similar. I had a blue dress that I could have offered her as well, but I kind of wanted to keep it for myself. I had a bit of an internal tug of war on whether or not I was being selfish, or if it was ok for me to keep the dress. 

can't buy me love....

I dreamt that I was a coworker, but I felt like I was either a boss.... or I was very involved in the concern of the work being done. So was I a boss? or needing to control the situation?? I was working with a guy (Sam from The Whitest Kids You Know). I was trying to make work fun. I had music, food and so on... he just seemed annoyed. I left the room to go do my own work and he closed the door. There was another coworker, a woman ... I could hear them talking and making fun of me. I had bought food for them. They said they were going to lunch instead and left. I went into the room and I saw that they had thrown the food away. 

book by its cover

I dreamt I flew to a vacation island. It was a place where Europeans tend to go.  There was a man and his son there in their speedos. I looked at the son and he was oddly shaped (not a human shape really). His head was the shape of a weeble wobble and he had a bit of a curved back.  I feeling fleeted over me that I felt bad for him due to his shape. Then I looked at his father. He was a larger, older version of the same shape. He had a smile on his face and eyes. He looked truly happy and pleased. I then felt relieved and happy for them both... and maybe even a bit ashamed about my judgement.

changing colors

I dreamt that I was in a locker room. We were all on our way, we being a bunch of woman and one transvestite (man dressed as a woman), to a class on tango. One person didn't seem to have the right shoes for her feet. I found some shoes, but they were a  heavy wooly felt in a blue gray color. They looked like a man's loafer. The man/woman said they wouldn't do and would slow down the foot, so he found a pair of tango shoes that were too large and they would make those work some how.

Then I dreamt I was going to a cousin's wedding or some sort of family/religious event. My stepmother was there and my dad. Actually, a lot of my family was there. We were in a small church that, in the dream, seemed to have been used for many of the family functions. It was pretty. Inside was all old, well stained wood that was ornate and dark from they years. Everyone was piling in and I was in the back. I think I was ... either trying to be helpful or trying to stay out of the way. Really, more or less, I was staying away from all and observing as usual. I had some things in a bag, maybe more appropriate clothing to change into. I went to the bathroom to change, but then I seemed to be wearing a white pant suit that was embroidered from head to to with birds and other things. It wasn't obnoxious as it was the same color as the cloth. I had to go to the bathroom and I was looking for an open stall. There was an older lady in there and she seemed to be smiling at me sweetly. It seems she knew how I felt, knew that maybe I was stressed and empathized with me with her eyes. I found a stall that had three toilets in it. I had to go so bad, I didn't care. I seemed to have missed somehow and actually was going in the pants. :-/  I took them off and rinsed them and wrung them out. They were now wrinkled. I thought if i snapped them a couple of times it would come out. It did good enough and I went to put the pants back on, but then I saw all of the birds were now black, as if the water changed the color. Then other parts started changing color. I didn't like it at first and then I thought it might be better because it would be less dramatic then wearing an all white suit to the function. It seemed to only change color on the back. As I went to put it on, which it now was a skirt, it changed to all of the colors changing on the front, and there seemed to be a flair to it and more colors of purples, reds and so on. I just needed to put something on so I didn't care at this point.

I looked back at the "business end" of the church. I told my step mom I had sat up there last time when we sang for something. She half acknowledged me but was busy with something else on her mind. Then I know there was something about a baby... a step grandma not being happy ... ??

fighting the dragon

I dreamt that I was in a different type of world I think, as I was a mermaid. I seemed to have had a mentor person. It was a woman who seemed older, wiser, stronger and possibly darker in her heart. At least she wasn't very soft and sweet feeling. But she was there to help me and I followed what she said without question. I felt as if I paused to analyze her directions, it would just be one second too late to follow them. We were swimming up to a place where you needed to belong to be there, and I didn't belong. There was a type of moat around the place, although all of the people and buildings were on both sides of the moat. She was telling me almost telepathically that I needed to be here and start belonging, but I needed to get passed a dragon in the moat. It was an underwater dragon, about the size of a human. She had me swim in one direction with her and then I had to go back towards the dragon and face it. I thought I would have to kill it or it me, but that wasn't the case. I just had to swim towards it, acknowledge it almost, but not get swept up by or bitten by it. I followed her instructions almost as if my mind wasn't with me... my adrenalin and desire took over and my body moved. I made it. I came out of the water in a blue strapless dress, the bottom was fitted and flared out, mermaid style. I felt empowered and majestic walking over the grass to the lights and the people.  

ultimatum

I dreamt that I was in a building. At first it felt like a fancy school and then a business. There were interesting rooms in the building and it was all unique architecture, with lots of stained wood. One room was an auditorium. My coworkers were filing into the room and I felt as if I might have been a bit late. As I walked in, I could see there was something going on. Some of the people were standing, some were sitting, but the room wasn't settled. There was a man facing the room from the side entrance. He was in charge, and not just as a boss. It seemed he was powerful, and in control of everyone's fate somehow. He offered a new contract to everyone, but it was more like an ultimatum. You choose the contract, or you choose ?? getting fired? death?  I hadn't had the offer yet, as the man didn't see me. A group of women refused his contract. It didn't feel like tragedy though, it felt like they freed themselves from this man. I was happy for them or at least admired their decision.  Then the man and I sat down facing each other. He had a case and opened it. It was full of gold square shaped plates (not food... ). It filled the case in a kind of curve, almost as if it was some sort of game where cards are fanned out. He was making an offer to me...

aliens landed

I dreamt I was in a home sharing a room with other people. Initially, I had my own room, but I had to move back into another one with two other people. At first I internally resisted, but once I was in the room, I felt fine. There was a woman there. Kind of ugly, masculine, dark hair, short.... and we were doing an odd experiment sticking things up her nose. It was a legitimate experiment that she wanted to do, not something mean. She had some other things in there, a rubber toy and last, a baby carrot. I felt that it wasn't going right and it made my stomach turn to do it. I noticed she was bleeding, but I wasn't sure how to retrieve the items. I went to go get the help of my friend BB, because it was his experiment and he had the tool. I liked knowing I could go to him.

Then I was flying... out of the house, away over some grass and over a small town. It felt good to fly. I had either forgotten that I could or just not taken advantage of it in a while. I landed on a street and then all of a sudden I heard something in the air. I looked up, finally... aliens had come. It was no longer an idea, a myth. They were real and it seems we had known about it because we had special ships in the air flying to fight them. They were white ships made of thin material. It seemed like cloth, but I remember it seeming extremely advanced. I was taking photos with my phone, and so was my brother. I was worried they would take my phone away as I don't think we were supposed to witness any of this. I saw one of the pilots look over, but he continued on with what he was doing.

end of the road

I dreamt that I was going to the beach with my dad. We took Hwy 99. There has always been a sign there that has two routes, one that goes through town and one that circumvents it. I've always gone through the town, but decide for some reason to take the other route this time. It lead to a hangar and it seemed the road stopped right at the building. I figured due to the size of the doors on the hangar, you must be able to drive through it. I went to the building and checked with the people. A tall blond woman said yes, you do drive through and pointed me to another large door on the other side of the inside of the building. My dad was talking to someone else in the building as I went to inspect the door and see what was on the other side. I opened it and the pavement only went a few feet and perfectly ended...  and there was a hedge that you couldn't pass. So you couldn't really drive through. It was the end of the road and would have to go back and start again. 

corner office

I dreamt I went back to work at my last place of work (b*m*l). I was working away, doing everything appropriately, not complaining or looking for things to complain about... but I realized I stayed off in the corner. Certain people didn't even know that I came back to work there. The CEO did, but he wasn't a talker. I decided I should go be social, so I went to put a dish in the kitchen and I could see the President walking around. I felt my stomach sink. For some reason, I didn't want to see him and I felt that he didn't want to see me. 

convention

I dreamt that I was at a retreat. It felt very "done" as in it was very organized, hyped, and so on. The speakers had lots of energy and poise, almost in a 1980s sort of way. They looked the part, sounded the part, dotted their i's and crossed their t's, had all the right swags and details. I was curious, it seemed like it would be fun either way. I enjoyed the idea of being the one who could sit back and be lead through the day. My friend ASh was there. She looked as though she was enjoying the idea too. There were two main leaders. A perfectly dressed man, with a perfect physique, hair, face and posture and a woman, who was similar, but had a bit of ?? hmm she was tall, and looked like she was on a mission, the ring leader.  We were all currently sitting on the roof of a building. It was sunny out and it seemed as though the set was going to change a bit the next time we saw it. It didn't match the perfect of the rest of the scene.   The session broke and we all walked through the halls or lobby or where ever it is that we were. Everyone seemed to hustle and bustle to the next thing. I was exploring and enjoying the energy of the event and the surroundings. I loved hotels and conventions. Then I saw that the next session was about to begin. I forgot that we were to have supposed to showered and dressed up for the next session. I gathered my things and ran to find a shower. I went to several and it seemed they were all occupied.  I could see that some of the women were almost done, but I couldn't rely on them hurrying and I didn't want to test my patience. I finally found a shower room just as ASh was about to get there. I told her I would hurry. It seemed that it was open to a stair well and more.. but that seemed normal. I kept trying to put my things down and I could see that the female announcer had her dresses in there. It looked like she would be doing several costume changes at this event. They were full length strapless gowns, a red one, yellow and kelly green. I heard something over the speakers and the event had started. They had screens all over the lobby and I had a small screen in the bathroom of the event. I was wondering if I should just watch from there or if it would be appropriate to walk in mid session. I didn't want to be a target for this woman. I started noticing some other things... can't remember now... which made me think this was an odd event. I felt as if they were starting something... , gathering followers, it didn't feel right and I wanted to make sure ASh knew.

epoxy church

I dreamt I was with my mother in a church. The ceilings were huge and domed. It felt clean, 1950's like.. It felt like my grandpa was there. The ceiling was so high and lofty and lots of light poured in, but it was an epoxy ceiling. I thought it was odd in the first place to use a material like that in a church. I thought it was kind of a cost cutting product. Also, it didn't looked finished. I said.. look.... there is a grid and places where you could see the mold lift, other places where it is perfectly smooth. I would have thought if they left the grid framework, it was so they would do carvings or ornate ?? somethings in between ... and if not, they would have made it perfectly smooth. It felt unfinished... It felt cold... It felt fake...

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wine rules

I Dreamt I was at someone's house. This woman was a strong personality, probably wore the pants. She had long straight blondish hair, older, and seemed to have not time or desire for fixing herself up and/or being feminine, but she was nice and attracted people to her due to her strength and you felt comfortable around her. What you saw was what you got.We were moving clothing around on racks outside of the room where they belonged. Either they were redoing that room, or she was going through the clothes. I was trying to see which order to put them back in and which ones interested me. I think she was giving some of them away. I would pick up a top or?? and hold it in front of me at the mirror, trying to mix things that I normally wouldn't to see if I would come up with some new style or idea. Nothing seemed to work. Also, when I would look in the mirror, it looked like something that I had tried on at the beginning, was still on, but it was a cushion of sorts. It was big and square and on my back and it made me look awkward and cartoon like so I couldn't really get a clear idea of the clothes I was trying.

Then we were all on the couch. She was telling me about some wine, and she couldn't remember something about it, but she was told she could never bring it in the living room. Not for cleanliness reasons, it was more like it had some sort of rule or spell on it and if she brought this particular bottle into the room, it would mean bad luck. So we all went into the kitchen and then some more people came over. They were going to redo her floors. It all started to happen so fast, but I saw the destruction materials flying out the door... old floor and some sheet rock and so on.

bad boyfriend

I dreamt that my mom had a boyfriend that is actually a boyfriend of a friend of mine (PS's boyfriend CB). I knew he was bad. I'm not sure if I had a gut feeling or evidence, but I knew he was up to something and using her. I wasn't sure what to do though. If I told her so, she would defend him and make things worse, so I was stuck.

swim suit

I dreamt that I needed to get a swim suit. I knew this store was having a sale, so I decided to go in. Something about it felt like you had to be part of some special group to be in there. Not a formal group, so much as a ... we are snow boarders... or we vacation in the SW .... or?? something along those longs, a group of people that have similar habits and activities. I wasn't from that group and could feel it going in. I didn't feel uncomfortable though, just out of place. I went to the swim racks. I tried on one suit. It was much too big and I realized it was for older ladies. It has these odd flaps on the side near your thighs to cover them. I didn't think it was a good idea, even if you did have bad thights... they looked like whale gills. Then I think I found a red swim suit and it was only $22, a steal now days. So I was going to get that one, but then I left the store for some reason. I was telling some people that I found a suit, and I probably should have purchased it right then. But it was one of those things... do you buy something if it is a good deal, what you were looking for... but it still doesn't feel right?